Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Council Baby said:
Blown2CV said:
what happens if i have too much coffee, and blurt out that i am indeed a rapist?
She's from POF, she'll probably ask you to prove it.
Markgenesis said:
This is my first try at internet dating, only been three weeks, should be more patient i guess.
It's hardly been any time and you've already f
ked it up with a few girls, give it a few more and you'll probably bag one 
Markgenesis said:
Not exactly desperate just haven't dated for a while and excited at the prospect of meeting someone (whether it goes past the first meeting or not).
Besides, i paid for the upgrade on POF and want to get my moneys worth
.
A paid upgrade on POF shows up on your profile and will make you look desperate Besides, i paid for the upgrade on POF and want to get my moneys worth
. People go it because it's free... Markgenesis said:
Truth is i'm finding it pretty hard to find women my age group on POF (late 30's, 40's) without kids, the kids shouldn't be a problem, like you suggest i'll keep an open mind.
If you can't find a girl your own age without kids...Blown2CV said:
what's a coffee date?
It's what people new to internet dating do before they realise it is a complete waste of time. Same thing as mid week dates, another waste of time.Having spent a year on POF, here are my general views on the Site:
Mostly all women on POF will sleep with you on the first date. Even if they state on their profile they are not into one night stands, that is for the guy they are trying to bag for a relationship/marriage. If you are exciting enough they will definitely sleep with you on a first date.
The chances of getting into a relationship with a decent woman on POF is pretty remote. If you go searching through a junkyard you are going to find junk, and POF has to be the biggest junkyard there is.
Here are the type of women you are likely to meet on POF:
1)Unicorn Hunters. Probably just out of a long term marriage/relationship and think they are entitled to find the one. After all, they put up with a douche for a long time and now this is their time. Looking for a good looking guy with a decent job and no children. Unfortunately they are probably not that hot, have two children, poor paying job and live in a council house. They do not understand that they are bringing absolutely nothing to the table.
2)Ego boost Hunters. Probably have good photos and are inundated with messages. Unfortunately these photos will be 5 years or 3 stones out of date or else will be photoshopped or professionally taken photos.
3)Free Night Out Hunters. These women are just looking for a free night out and will never offer to pay for anything. You will most likely get an akward peck on the cheek at the end of the night for your troubles.
Remember the following rules about internet dating :
1)The better the photos the less likely she is actually going to look like that. Women think it is perfectly OK to photoshop their photos, have professional shots done or simply use photos that are 5 years out of date. Most of the time the person you end up seeing is going to look nothing like the person in the photos.
2)Sane, Single, Attractive - Pick and two from three
3)Do not offer to take them out to dinner. If you meet them and there is clearly nothing there you end up spending a lot of cash for nothing. My advice would to be meet on a Friday or Saturday night for drinks first and if you think there is anything there suggest going out for food. Friday and Saturday night are best for dates as if you really hit it off the date can last the whole weekend.
4)If she only has head shots she is overweight.
5)Where it states body type, the reality is she is the body type above the one she has selected.
6)Women lie about their age all the time, especially if they are close to 40.
I would suggest the way this is going to go for you is as follows :
First of all you will come across as way too keen and desperate. Women hate this so you will go on lots of first dates but will be friendzoned a lot. Do not fall into this trap, if they friendzone you drop them and use it as a learning experience.
As you get a bit of game and confidence you will start to care less and less and you will end up sleeping with some of these women. You might even end up in short term relationships with some of them.
After a while as you care less and less and start to have more options you will find that the women are doing the chasing. Because you have options now, women will smell this a mile off and will want to be with you. They probably won't care that much that you are obviously seeing a few women at once.
This is the position you want to be in but it will take a while to get there. You will have women you can hookup with when you want with none of the trouble of being in a relationship. Do not rest now though as these women will slowly drift away as they meet other people. You must keep searching to find others to replace them with.
I know I am going to get flamed for my response and lots of people are going to tell me I am wrong but I promise you this is what the reality is.
Need some advice from the more battle hardened daters here:
Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
Calza said:
Need some advice from the more battle hardened daters here:
Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
I know nothing about you so please, don't take my advice but i'll give an opinion.
1. If she suggested in any way, shape or form that "Doing the deed" was on the table then i'd clear the table and get on it ASAP.
2. If she has said she would date others then she is just saying what most do but don't say and if she sees another she thinks is better than you then you'll be dumped fast.
3. You say you've been quite intimate with hand holding, kissing and staring into each others eyes. mate, we all have different standards but that is not white i'd describe as intimate, far from it.
4. A lot of women nowadays whilst they like you to be a gentleman with door holding, manners etc it can come with another side and that is they want sex, not in six months, not after weeks of wooing but NOW, that can actually help them decide if you are right for them to continue with you.
So, i'd get in there but I am me and you are you.
Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
I know nothing about you so please, don't take my advice but i'll give an opinion.
1. If she suggested in any way, shape or form that "Doing the deed" was on the table then i'd clear the table and get on it ASAP.
2. If she has said she would date others then she is just saying what most do but don't say and if she sees another she thinks is better than you then you'll be dumped fast.
3. You say you've been quite intimate with hand holding, kissing and staring into each others eyes. mate, we all have different standards but that is not white i'd describe as intimate, far from it.
4. A lot of women nowadays whilst they like you to be a gentleman with door holding, manners etc it can come with another side and that is they want sex, not in six months, not after weeks of wooing but NOW, that can actually help them decide if you are right for them to continue with you.
So, i'd get in there but I am me and you are you.
Edited by Thankyou4calling on Wednesday 29th April 10:22
Calza said:
Need some advice from the more battle hardened daters here:
Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
If a bird has never had an orgasm through penetrative sex, she will take a little longer to jump in the sack. If she has, she will want it again and again, so giving up the goods straight away allows her to waste less time. This may not be a fact but I think it's close to the truth.Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
A bit of both. I'd prefer not to sleep with someone as a casual fling or similar - it just doesn't appeal to me. It's not a case of having no interest, far from it.Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
Calza said:
A bit of both. I'd prefer not to sleep with someone as a casual fling or similar - it just doesn't appeal to me. It's not a case of having no interest, far from it.
Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
Due to being happily married for 20yrs this thread is not my normal habitat. However even I, who has been out of practise for 20yrs, would recognise the signal of a girl staying over as a green light to play "hide the sausage". Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
Calza said:
A bit of both. I'd prefer not to sleep with someone as a casual fling or similar - it just doesn't appeal to me. It's not a case of having no interest, far from it.
Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
If you're interested in her and something a bit long term, then whatever your physical issue is should just be laid out in the open. If she runs away then you've saved both yourself some time, if she is fine with it and everything works, jackpot for you and you regain your confidence should things fall by the wayside and you've got to start looking again.Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
I'm guessing you've had a ball removed. Correct?
Calza said:
A bit of both. I'd prefer not to sleep with someone as a casual fling or similar - it just doesn't appeal to me. It's not a case of having no interest, far from it.
Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
No need to be so graphic about the state of you P3N15 Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
Anyhow, I'm sorry to say that your cautious approach coupled with worrying over your physical condition does not bode well.
The days of understanding women being happy to play the long game in the hope you turn into Daniel Craig are long gone and you are heading for a fall.
I hope not but it's a hope rather than an expect.
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