Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Calza said:
Need some advice from the more battle hardened daters here:
Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
Dude, bone her tonight or you're heading straight for the friend zone.Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
Calza said:
A bit of both. I'd prefer not to sleep with someone as a casual fling or similar - it just doesn't appeal to me. It's not a case of having no interest, far from it.
Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
John Wayne Bobbitt?Without totally emasculating myself, I do have physical concerns too. I've had surgery and other hospital treatments in the last few months which have left me a bit less normal than most and with the possibility things won't behave as normal. She's already seen some of the 'differences' but doesn't know the story behind it all. The prospect of it all going wrong doesn't bode well in my mind.
(In fact that whole ordeal is probably why I'm a bit soft these days).
WinstonWolf said:
Calza said:
Need some advice from the more battle hardened daters here:
Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
Dude, bone her tonight or you're heading straight for the friend zone.Seen this girl four times now (Been 5-6 weeks), 2 normal dates and 2 where she's stayed over (Once because it was very late and we were quite drunk - not planned, once agreed because we didn't have much time or money for anything else). We've definitely got a great connection, the way we get on and talk is something else.
We haven't had sex but have done other stuff and are quite intimate in my opinion (lots hand holding, little kisses, hugging, just staring into each others eyes etc...) - it's like we've been together for months? She's asked why we haven't done the deed yet and suggested she would. I'm not in any rush and am probably a bit old fashioned in that regard but fine.
I asked her yesterday if she was still talking to / dating anyone. She said she hasn't seen anyone in a few weeks but isn't against the idea (When we met we were both very new to dating).
It's really put me off that she would be willing to sleep with me (and I'm disappointed as I like her) but still date other people. Am I just being a bit girly and old fashioned here? I really didn't have her down as 'that' type of girl.
Tell her the physical news first, but get it done.
Right, all taken on board and noted.
I'll give her it (or at least try!) with my enormous bamboo when we next meet
But my hormones are very messed up which plays a part in things working, and chemo can have a real affect too. Also like you said building it up makes it worse and for months in my head I've made it all worse like this (not just sex but everything!).
I'll give her it (or at least try!) with my enormous bamboo when we next meet
anonymous said:
[redacted]
In theory you're correct, no reason.But my hormones are very messed up which plays a part in things working, and chemo can have a real affect too. Also like you said building it up makes it worse and for months in my head I've made it all worse like this (not just sex but everything!).
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Where there is a will 
Without being too graphic a friend of mine was born without a willy. They made one up using skin from other parts of his body and to get an erection one of his balls is actually a pump and he heads into the bathroom just before the action - so I have been told by an ex-girl of his (no, I DON'T know first hand knowledge). They left him with only one ball but has fathered two childen.
Have you spoke to your doctor/surgeon about any worries?
Morningside said:
Where there is a will
Without being too graphic a friend of mine was born without a willy. They made one up using skin from other parts of his body and to get an erection one of his balls is actually a pump and he heads into the bathroom just before the action - so I have been told by an ex-girl of his (no, I DON'T know first hand knowledge). They left him with only one ball but has fathered two childen.
Have you spoke to your doctor/surgeon about any worries?
Why bother talking to a doctor when we are here? Without being too graphic a friend of mine was born without a willy. They made one up using skin from other parts of his body and to get an erection one of his balls is actually a pump and he heads into the bathroom just before the action - so I have been told by an ex-girl of his (no, I DON'T know first hand knowledge). They left him with only one ball but has fathered two childen.
Have you spoke to your doctor/surgeon about any worries?
Far better advice from the PH members than you'll get elsewhere surely it's the first and only port of call in these and pretty much all situations.
We are experts on relationships, world renowned studs with a trail of satisfied females.
All the answers are here.
BrabusMog said:
Best of luck, Calza. You can think of us when you're doing it, if that helps
Or scream out "Piston Heads!" at the climax of your next meeting 
Good luck fella, nothing to lose and everything to gain from giving it a go with her. Girls tend to be a f
k of allot more forgiving and understanding about the bigs things*. Got a number off a cute accountant off POF last night in 20 minutes, managed to woo her with talk of taking her out for a Little Chef followed by an aperitif in my local Weatherspoons. Classy these POF girls.
*It's just the daft inconsequential things they get their knickers in a twist about.
I've not proven to have any problems yet apart from my head!
While we're here, is there any point in me telling her why I actually had the op and that I'm recently in remission? It seems an important fact about me, but I'm not sure it's wise to disclose such information.
While we're here, is there any point in me telling her why I actually had the op and that I'm recently in remission? It seems an important fact about me, but I'm not sure it's wise to disclose such information.
Edited by Calza on Wednesday 29th April 11:55
Calza said:
I've not proven to have any problems yet apart from my head!
While we're here, is there any point in me telling her why I actually had the op and that I'm recently in remission? It seems an important fact about me, but I'm not sure it's wise to disclose such information.
If you've met up with her a good few times and think you've got a connection then why not? While we're here, is there any point in me telling her why I actually had the op and that I'm recently in remission? It seems an important fact about me, but I'm not sure it's wise to disclose such information.
Pretty important part of your recent history and will explain your reticence to take things further with her. She's probably come up with all sorts of crazy insecure reasons why you're acting the way you are and this may actually put her at ease.
Judgement call is yours, pretty deep conversation to have this earrly on but any girl worth bothering with should take it in her stride.
Calza said:
I've not proven to have any problems yet apart from my head!
While we're here, is there any point in me telling her why I actually had the op and that I'm recently in remission? It seems an important fact about me, but I'm not sure it's wise to disclose such information.
No NO NO !!!While we're here, is there any point in me telling her why I actually had the op and that I'm recently in remission? It seems an important fact about me, but I'm not sure it's wise to disclose such information.
Edited by Calza on Wednesday 29th April 11:55
Under no circumstances tell her about any physical affliction before the deed.
She will find out or know.
Are you looking for a sympathy vote or perhaps some understanding?
Forget it!
There wont be any.
You need to get in there and fast.
If you can't then explain it away with some old flannel, if you can then you are in there and she can find out in good time.
Of course as previously, I don't know you or the girl so you may have met a different sort to the (my) norm.
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