Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
WinstonWolf said:
The logistics come later, you need to establish intent first 
If she likes you she'll find a way to schedule it 
If it was the other way round, you would find a way or offer an alternative "No I cant make Friday, how about 2 weeks Wednesday" if she is saying no and offering up nothing, that's the way it will stay. Unless she is pining for attention in which case she isn't a keeper anyway If she likes you she'll find a way to schedule it WinstonWolf said:
That's spot on, you're learning 
And don't listen to CB, he's an utter man w
e...
That said I'm still with the same girl since September... Or was it October... Maybe November and don't have much of a social life these days so you should probably put me in the "semi-retired man w
e" bracket.A f
king veggie??? Run.
Council Baby said:
A fking veggie???
Run.
This! Ex was a veggie, fking veggie??? Run.
k me that was hard work! She also had bipolar and the veggie part was harder! Seem to be having a bit of luck with Tinder lately. Got a date organised for next weekend with someone.
Did ask someone at work with out for a drink a few weeks ago, but seeing as I've still not had a reply I'm guessing it's a no! Strange as when I see her at work she is chatty, but oh well.
M
Give me your sisters number and I'll let you know
slyelessar said:
Council Baby said:
Just text her:bf
"I thought we should have dinner together, I'll cook, do you eat meat? Any preferences?"
"What a lovely idea, meat is fine, what time?"
"*insert cock pic* see you at 7"
It never fails, honestly.
You clearly haven't tried it with a sibling. "I thought we should have dinner together, I'll cook, do you eat meat? Any preferences?"
"What a lovely idea, meat is fine, what time?"
"*insert cock pic* see you at 7"
It never fails, honestly.
On the basis this thread seems to be the place for some relationship advice (of sorts!)....how about this....
After a long marriage/divorce....now dating (for 6 months) someone who did pretty much the opposite of me. I got married VERY young and built a family.....she went off to uni and (as someone hot with no real interest in her course) found it easy to hook up with whoever she wanted.
As a result our pasts have VERY different "stuff" in them...I have family holidays and home building (stuff she would love to be doing with me as a first time for us both...but she knows I've done it all before) and she has more men in her past than I have facebook friends (not quite....but not far off I have my ex-wife and a few others....she has 4 years at uni where a different hook up every couple of months soon adds up to a lot!)
So...given everything is perfect, why am I bothered???
Interestingly....her issue is the "you were married for years so must have had an incredible bond and shared experiences that I cant hope to compete with" ..... mine is "you got wasted at parties and slept with people equally drunk before staggering home to eat pot noddles" I'm not sure why I have the bigger issue dealing with that!
After a long marriage/divorce....now dating (for 6 months) someone who did pretty much the opposite of me. I got married VERY young and built a family.....she went off to uni and (as someone hot with no real interest in her course) found it easy to hook up with whoever she wanted.
As a result our pasts have VERY different "stuff" in them...I have family holidays and home building (stuff she would love to be doing with me as a first time for us both...but she knows I've done it all before) and she has more men in her past than I have facebook friends (not quite....but not far off
I have my ex-wife and a few others....she has 4 years at uni where a different hook up every couple of months soon adds up to a lot!)So...given everything is perfect, why am I bothered???
Interestingly....her issue is the "you were married for years so must have had an incredible bond and shared experiences that I cant hope to compete with" ..... mine is "you got wasted at parties and slept with people equally drunk before staggering home to eat pot noddles" I'm not sure why I have the bigger issue dealing with that!
My gut feeling is that she's telling you what she wants, you should listen instead of paying attention to your own ego that's a little affronted that her score card has more marks on it than yours.
She's telling you that your score card has far better quality marks on it (despite there being fewer of them), and that she wants to be part of that. The high number of points on hers are irrelevant as far as she's concerned.
Take note, and try not to let your ego dominate. The number of conquests is a very male orientated egotistical thing, women are more bothered about the feelings they had (have) with each partner.
She wants to be the most important person in your life right now (kids excepted presumably), I would suggest that's what you need to focus on, not her past, as there's absolutely nothing you can do about it anyway.
She's telling you that your score card has far better quality marks on it (despite there being fewer of them), and that she wants to be part of that. The high number of points on hers are irrelevant as far as she's concerned.
Take note, and try not to let your ego dominate. The number of conquests is a very male orientated egotistical thing, women are more bothered about the feelings they had (have) with each partner.
She wants to be the most important person in your life right now (kids excepted presumably), I would suggest that's what you need to focus on, not her past, as there's absolutely nothing you can do about it anyway.
As Super Slo Mo said, you're probably bothered because you're a guy and therefore her having lots of partners and being open about it bothers you.
That's not really a criticism by the way, I know it would bother me too. I just hope that if I had a situation like yours where everything except that seems perfect I'd realise that it's my problem, it's a silly problem and I need to get over it.
That's not really a criticism by the way, I know it would bother me too. I just hope that if I had a situation like yours where everything except that seems perfect I'd realise that it's my problem, it's a silly problem and I need to get over it.
Perfectly sensible responses! And I agree completely which is why it's so bizarre that I can't shift the thought from my head!
We were so open because our first date was never intended to go anywhere as we will both be in existing (rubbish) relationships-as such we just used it as an opportunity to be open "for the hell of it" sort of.......then fell for each other, knowing everything!
And it is nuts! My experience, although limited to way fewer people, is far more extensive..... As you would expect when you're with someone for a long time. In comparison 20 one night stands doesn't really give you experience doing anything other than mastering an early morning exit!
Still bugs me. Man brain, we really are our own worst enemy!
We were so open because our first date was never intended to go anywhere as we will both be in existing (rubbish) relationships-as such we just used it as an opportunity to be open "for the hell of it" sort of.......then fell for each other, knowing everything!
And it is nuts! My experience, although limited to way fewer people, is far more extensive..... As you would expect when you're with someone for a long time. In comparison 20 one night stands doesn't really give you experience doing anything other than mastering an early morning exit!
Still bugs me. Man brain, we really are our own worst enemy!
My fiancé (just happened last week ) is the first girlfriend Ive had who "has a past". i was the first long term relationship for my two previous girlfriends, so I wasn't used to the "oh yeah, and then I fked him on the sun loungers" type comments. It took me a couple of months to properly adjust to this fact until one day I realised that I'd had a very chequered past myself and that I was being a hypocrite for being bothered. Once I got over that it turned into the best relationship I could hope for and now we are engaged. I think the fact you're bothered just shows that you care about her and it sounds like she wants to move on to a new stage in life as well, so best of luck!
) is the first girlfriend Ive had who "has a past". i was the first long term relationship for my two previous girlfriends, so I wasn't used to the "oh yeah, and then I fked him on the sun loungers" type comments. It took me a couple of months to properly adjust to this fact until one day I realised that I'd had a very chequered past myself and that I was being a hypocrite for being bothered. Once I got over that it turned into the best relationship I could hope for and now we are engaged. I think the fact you're bothered just shows that you care about her and it sounds like she wants to move on to a new stage in life as well, so best of luck!Offthegrid said:
I agree completely which is why it's so bizarre that I can't shift the thought from my head!
It's not bizarre at all mate, I'm still pretty young but I've come across a couple of situations that let me to be really bothered about something like that and it's never been easy to get over it. Takes a fair bit of work and patience on your part, and probably a bit on her part too if she's planning on hanging around while you deal with it. It's strange that this topic has come up. I'm in a similar situation having exited a long term relationship and had a few short termers then met someone else who admittedly is only a few years younger than me but has done things very differently by having had a few long term relationships never getting married and now sees time passing her by. I call it the sex and the city effect lol.
I have had (and still do to a certain extent) the same thoughts and niggles running through my head. However, I think the main difference speaking with colleagues in a similar situation is that blokes dont tend to want to know and women want to know EVERYTHING and think we do also.
For example I'll say "oh I've been there on holiday" (watching some travel prog together). Where she'd say "Oh I went there on holiday in 2010 with Bill when we were living together in that big house with the nice garden etc etc"
I must admit it came to a bit of a head the other week when she seemed to go out of her way to tell me that she'd bumped into her ex (John) at the local tip and he's now some IT guru living in Dubai don't you know... Rightly or wrongly I said that I didn't really need to know to which she gave me that sad look only women can pull and said she was only being open and honest.... I just try not to be overly sensitive to it now.
I have had (and still do to a certain extent) the same thoughts and niggles running through my head. However, I think the main difference speaking with colleagues in a similar situation is that blokes dont tend to want to know and women want to know EVERYTHING and think we do also.
For example I'll say "oh I've been there on holiday" (watching some travel prog together). Where she'd say "Oh I went there on holiday in 2010 with Bill when we were living together in that big house with the nice garden etc etc"
I must admit it came to a bit of a head the other week when she seemed to go out of her way to tell me that she'd bumped into her ex (John) at the local tip and he's now some IT guru living in Dubai don't you know... Rightly or wrongly I said that I didn't really need to know to which she gave me that sad look only women can pull and said she was only being open and honest.... I just try not to be overly sensitive to it now.
Offthegrid said:
On the basis this thread seems to be the place for some relationship advice (of sorts!)....how about this....
After a long marriage/divorce....now dating (for 6 months) someone who did pretty much the opposite of me. I got married VERY young and built a family.....she went off to uni and (as someone hot with no real interest in her course) found it easy to hook up with whoever she wanted.
As a result our pasts have VERY different "stuff" in them...I have family holidays and home building (stuff she would love to be doing with me as a first time for us both...but she knows I've done it all before) and she has more men in her past than I have facebook friends (not quite....but not far off I have my ex-wife and a few others....she has 4 years at uni where a different hook up every couple of months soon adds up to a lot!)
So...given everything is perfect, why am I bothered???
Interestingly....her issue is the "you were married for years so must have had an incredible bond and shared experiences that I cant hope to compete with" ..... mine is "you got wasted at parties and slept with people equally drunk before staggering home to eat pot noddles" I'm not sure why I have the bigger issue dealing with that!
Perhaps what you need to do is start to show how special she is and doing things unique to your relationship.After a long marriage/divorce....now dating (for 6 months) someone who did pretty much the opposite of me. I got married VERY young and built a family.....she went off to uni and (as someone hot with no real interest in her course) found it easy to hook up with whoever she wanted.
As a result our pasts have VERY different "stuff" in them...I have family holidays and home building (stuff she would love to be doing with me as a first time for us both...but she knows I've done it all before) and she has more men in her past than I have facebook friends (not quite....but not far off
I have my ex-wife and a few others....she has 4 years at uni where a different hook up every couple of months soon adds up to a lot!)So...given everything is perfect, why am I bothered???
Interestingly....her issue is the "you were married for years so must have had an incredible bond and shared experiences that I cant hope to compete with" ..... mine is "you got wasted at parties and slept with people equally drunk before staggering home to eat pot noddles" I'm not sure why I have the bigger issue dealing with that!
One of the mistakes I and others make is to take their new partner to a certain restaurant, hotel, event etc on the basis that it's really nice as you've been there previously with another.
Whilst it's nice to go to tried and tested if you go to new places you will be making her feel special and that its new and exclusive to you both. Building that bond.
Edited by Thankyou4calling on Monday 22 June 19:34
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