Match.com (Volume 6)

[Tiggsy]

Agree with CB - 1st 2 pics aside, I'm surprised Tinder didnt work.

I just swipe right on most and filter later and get 10-15 matches a day (although my range hits London)

[Don1]

1. 5 looks like a certain ahole dutch DJ, the 6th, junior salesman.

You're a good-looking lad - much better photos would do you well.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Lose the daft facial hair, FFS.

[spikeyhead]

Was that profile wording created by picking bullst bingo generic phrases?

[Justayellowbadge]

It's the profile of an Inbetweener.

[TheExcession]

Council Baby said:

Lose the first 2 pics, you look like an Austrian tourist in the first one, which means debauched pervert in woman speak. Whether you are or not you should never let them know before you've met them. The second one has a slight hint of serial killer, they don't like that either

The rest aren't bad at all.

Too much use of the word 'I', No humour, no hook to get them to interact. You sound far too normal, you need to make it edgier to stand out. More natural flow to it.

Pretty much spot on?

Being a shy lurker on this thread for so long might I suggest a translation?

"I love travelling and experiencing new things; I'm just as comfortable on a beach as I am exploring a new city. I'm an amateur photographer and this gives me motivation to actually go to new places. I have a passion for music; I love going to gigs and I also play a few instruments too.
I'm pretty ambitious and am currently in my second year of a degree in Business & Management which I am studying part-time.

I'm looking for somebody who is good company for nights out on the town, nights in on the sofa and travelling. I've been told that I have a good sense of humour and I'd like to meet a woman that is ambitious but doesn't take herself too seriously."

SHOULD BE:

Love travelling, cities, beaches, foreign parts, (no caves though - bloody hate being underground and in the dark). [insert 1 or 2 places you have been here] are awesome.

Love music, gigs and playing. [insert 1 or 2 bands here] really move me, have you heard [xyz, abc etc] songs?

Tell me your destination and the tunes we'd play on the way.

[TheExcession]

Justayellowbadge said:

It's the profile of an Inbetweener.

Awful you mean???

[Thankyou4calling]

You need to;

Massively improve the pictures ( suited and booted and not holding a drink)
Lie about your height ( lots do and girls will assume you are so that makes you 5ft 5!!)
Don't mention IT ( it's boring)

[Council Baby]

Thankyou4calling said:

You need to;

Massively improve the pictures ( suited and booted and not holding a drink)
Lie about your height ( lots do and girls will assume you are so that makes you 5ft 5!!)
Don't mention IT ( it's boring)

No harm in holding a drink, one of mine was stfaced outside Dirty Dick's chugging a cigar and with a shot in my hand.

Attracted exactly the right type of women

[Galsia]

Council Baby said:

Lose the first 2 pics, you look like an Austrian tourist in the first one, which means debauched pervert in woman speak. Whether you are or not you should never let them know before you've met them. The second one has a slight hint of serial killer, they don't like that either

The rest aren't bad at all.

Too much use of the word 'I', No humour, no hook to get them to interact. You sound far too normal, you need to make it edgier to stand out. More natural flow to it.

Ok, thanks.

Don1 said:

#5 looks like a certain ahole dutch DJ, the 6th, junior salesman.

You're a good-looking lad - much better photos would do you well.

Suggestion noted. I'll try and get some better ones. The problem is, all of the photos of me are taken when I'm on a night out on the town.

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Lose the daft facial hair, FFS.

I banished it several months ago and it will never return! I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and thought 'Why the hell do I have this on my face?'

spikeyhead said:

Was that profile wording created by picking bullst bingo generic phrases?

Pretty much. I just looked at a few other profiles and tried to make mine sound interesting. While I don't lack confidence in real life, written self-promotion isn't a strong point.

Justayellowbadge said:

It's the profile of an Inbetweener.

Nail. Head.

TheExcession said:

Pretty much spot on?

Being a shy lurker on this thread for so long might I suggest a translation?

"I love travelling and experiencing new things; I'm just as comfortable on a beach as I am exploring a new city. I'm an amateur photographer and this gives me motivation to actually go to new places. I have a passion for music; I love going to gigs and I also play a few instruments too.
I'm pretty ambitious and am currently in my second year of a degree in Business & Management which I am studying part-time.

I'm looking for somebody who is good company for nights out on the town, nights in on the sofa and travelling. I've been told that I have a good sense of humour and I'd like to meet a woman that is ambitious but doesn't take herself too seriously."

SHOULD BE:

Love travelling, cities, beaches, foreign parts, (no caves though - bloody hate being underground and in the dark). [insert 1 or 2 places you have been here] are awesome.

Love music, gigs and playing. [insert 1 or 2 bands here] really move me, have you heard [xyz, abc etc] songs?

Tell me your destination and the tunes we'd play on the way.

I only saw this thread for the first time yesterday. I haven't read it because it goes on for volumes and volumes. Perhaps I should go back and read some of the other posts.

Thankyou4calling said:

You need to;

Massively improve the pictures ( suited and booted and not holding a drink)
Lie about your height ( lots do and girls will assume you are so that makes you 5ft 5!!)
Don't mention IT ( it's boring)

I'm not really comfortable with lying about my height. It is immediately obvious that I'm not 6ft. If I met somebody who turned out to be a heffer but in her pictures she looked thin I'd be well pissed off.

[Blown2CV]

I can't see the profile link. Taken down already or is my phone playing up?

[Galsia]

Blown2CV said:

I can't see the profile link. Taken down already or is my phone playing up?

Its back up.

[B.J.W]

My personal advice ref dating profiles is to keep it short, without too much personal information, and a bit of cheek to get them thinking that you have a side that might need taming, but which will also keep them on their toes.

The less reason you give for someone to say no when they view your profile for the first time (and before you even speak to them), the better your chances will be.

Play to your strengths - I'm no more than average looking (so I put just the one decent photo up). I said I had a glint in my eye (honestly, that hooked them in). I played to my personal strengths and actually did very little work on Match in terms of approaches. I might have been lucky, but with online dating I really do think that the less is more approach works best.

[Blown2CV]

Galsia said:

Blown2CV said:

I can't see the profile link. Taken down already or is my phone playing up?

Its back up.

OK. No offence meant by any of this, it's intended to be constructive.

The profile looks automatically-generated, you don't look like a real person. Need to add some humanity. Don't worry about it being a ton longer.

• humour, humour, humour - not a joke but maybe a wry comment or two, self-deprecating etc. You've said you don't want a woman who takes herself too seriously but you come across as having done exactly that to yourself
• which cities and countries have you visited, what did you love about them, which instruments, how did you take them up, what music/bands? What do you like about them... it's all a bit non-specific currently, think that's what makes it come across as robotic.
• what job do you do? If it's not what you might think is interesting, take the piss out of it
• photo 1 chop off the bottom half, your skinny white pins are doing the rest no favours!
• I'd lose the guitar shot. If you play in a band get a photo of that, but if you play in the house it might make you come across as a bit of a teenager. Maybe bring in a different shot of you playing instruments that isn't quite so bedroomy.
• you might want to chop your brother out of the 'clubland' shot, i am sure he's a nice guy and everything but he's making the picture look a bit partyish, and you want the focus to be on you. Having other people in is fine, but maybe not so much up-close or maybe them looking more fun than you!
• any pictures of you doing something you like? Aside from the guitar shot! They don't all have to be headshots or even where your face can be seen, you've got a few of those. Maybe abroad or being adventurous to support your assertions there?
• maybe add a good picture you've taken yourself? Just you said photography, it might be an 'in' with a girl who likes that, also shows creativity

[ShyTallKnight]

Note to self. A chest infection, antibiotics, nicotine withdrawal, smacked off my tits on day nurse and a couple of large glasses of white and a date round my place don't mix.... I knew I should've cancelled

But on a positive note she did take pity on me and has invited me round hers next week hoorah..!!

[AyBee]

ShyTallKnight said:

Note to self. A chest infection, antibiotics, nicotine withdrawal, smacked off my tits on day nurse and a couple of large glasses of white and a date round my place don't mix.... I knew I should've cancelled

But on a positive note she did take pity on me and has invited me round hers next week hoorah..!!

Sounds like you should have a chest infection more often

[Blown2CV]

ShyTallKnight said:

Note to self. A chest infection, antibiotics, nicotine withdrawal, smacked off my tits on day nurse and a couple of large glasses of white and a date round my place don't mix.... I knew I should've cancelled

But on a positive note she did take pity on me and has invited me round hers next week hoorah..!!

you must be a hero to get a second chance in that context!

[B.J.W]

Blown2CV said:

ShyTallKnight said:

Note to self. A chest infection, antibiotics, nicotine withdrawal, smacked off my tits on day nurse and a couple of large glasses of white and a date round my place don't mix.... I knew I should've cancelled

But on a positive note she did take pity on me and has invited me round hers next week hoorah..!!

you must be a hero to get a second chance in that context!

bks. A stroke of genius. A) She now thinks that seeing her was extremely important because he didn't cancel, and B) The maternal switch was flicked as she took pity on him.

Prepare to breed

[Tiggsy]

Current girl is now serious....and a new one for me - age gap!

I'm 40 (but live like a well off student) and she's 25 and lives with her mum.

I look 35 at worse so its not too bad.....but my 18 year old isnt happy! (the other 3 kids are cool as they are younger boys and have no issue with hot girls!)

[Blown2CV]

Tiggsy said:

Current girl is now serious....and a new one for me - age gap!

I'm 40 (but live like a well off student) and she's 25 and lives with her mum.

I look 35 at worse so its not too bad.....but my 18 year old isnt happy! (the other 3 kids are cool as they are younger boys and have no issue with hot girls!)

keep us in the loop. Popcorn!