Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
escargot said:
Blown2CV said:
I Like this thread because (by comparison) it makes me feel relatively well-adjusted and mentally prepared for what it means to be a man in 2015. It is possible to express emotion, be a man and yet not dissolve into an undesirable, pitiable mess. Have something about you, FFS.
Good post.The last dozen or so pages seem to have been taken over by a bunch of whining little schoolgirls.
Beige trousers, pee pee sacks and mushed up food await, gentlemen.
CountZero23 said:
This.
I'd love for things to work like a Disney movie but they don't. At some point you have to look objectivly at what works and what doens't in dating.
The conclusions rarely tend to square up with the romcom la la land advice that the majority seem to dole out.
It's madness it really is. The lass I liked is same age as me (34), alluded to how she wanted a relationship, talked about what might happen between us when she went back home in a few months for a long trip, how hard it was finding a guy who wanted more than sex...
Given all this I thought maybe it might be ok to indicate I quite liked her.
Which is cool, you've got to put yourself out there, but there's only a little bit of info in that to suggest that she might want that relationship and life....with you. You took a punt, which upped the stakes a bit and it didnt work out. I'd love for things to work like a Disney movie but they don't. At some point you have to look objectivly at what works and what doens't in dating.
The conclusions rarely tend to square up with the romcom la la land advice that the majority seem to dole out.
It's madness it really is. The lass I liked is same age as me (34), alluded to how she wanted a relationship, talked about what might happen between us when she went back home in a few months for a long trip, how hard it was finding a guy who wanted more than sex...
Given all this I thought maybe it might be ok to indicate I quite liked her.
Win some, lose some.
CountZero23 said:
Well, from now on it's standard rules of engagement with any new ladies. They come 2nd to any other plans I've made, they will not be considered for relationship until a few months have passed and I'm going to see other girls even if I have to force myself.
Date with a nice enough lass tonight, to be honest I'm losing my enthusiasm for all this and would rather just hit the gym or have a beer with my mates.
What's happened is a tiny, minor, fairly insignificant in the grand scheme of things issue, because you've a) got burned and b) had your dick laughed at while you were waving it around. Metaphorically speaking. Date with a nice enough lass tonight, to be honest I'm losing my enthusiasm for all this and would rather just hit the gym or have a beer with my mates.
You've got to put yourself out there again and again and again if you do actually want something more interesting, and doing it honestly, rather than 'I'll show them, I'll be this b
d they all seem to want' and then not actually being able to do it properly is going to leave you with nowt. Definitely not this Disney thing that you've alluded to. In any event, that's a lie sold to you that's too ingrained. Sometimes there's no princess, and sometimes the princess heads off with a big bloke called Winston and turns up 4 episodes later with a black eye and 2 kids.
I think you need to be more accepting, firstly with yourself, because you seem pretty good at believing your own bulls
t stories of how things ought to go, and secondly with anyone who comes in close proximity to you, that they can make their own decisions and that's fine, especially if and inspite of those decisions being the opposite of what you'd like to see happen. Just be cool, basically
escargot said:
Blown2CV said:
I Like this thread because (by comparison) it makes me feel relatively well-adjusted and mentally prepared for what it means to be a man in 2015. It is possible to express emotion, be a man and yet not dissolve into an undesirable, pitiable mess. Have something about you, FFS.
Good post.The last dozen or so pages seem to have been taken over by a bunch of whining little schoolgirls.
I would be amazing at this dating malarkey I reckon. I would happily sit their listening to their anecdotes about awful people they have dated who keep posting on the internet to ask what they should reply to a question. Periodically I would chip in with something hilarious, or stand up to get myself another pint (and her a coke- she's driving) whilst subtly displaying my substantial erection.
It sounds so easy and if this thread is genuinely the competition then my wife needs to buck up her ideas a bit or ship out, the lucky b
h.blindswelledrat said:
It makes me wish I was single, reading this thread.
I would be amazing at this dating malarkey I reckon. I would happily sit their listening to their anecdotes about awful people they have dated who keep posting on the internet to ask what they should reply to a question. Periodically I would chip in with something hilarious, or stand up to get myself another pint (and her a coke- she's driving) whilst subtly displaying my substantial erection.
It sounds so easy and if this thread is genuinely the competition then my wife needs to buck up her ideas a bit or ship out, the lucky bh.
I would be amazing at this dating malarkey I reckon. I would happily sit their listening to their anecdotes about awful people they have dated who keep posting on the internet to ask what they should reply to a question. Periodically I would chip in with something hilarious, or stand up to get myself another pint (and her a coke- she's driving) whilst subtly displaying my substantial erection.
It sounds so easy and if this thread is genuinely the competition then my wife needs to buck up her ideas a bit or ship out, the lucky b
h.
andy-xr said:
Win some, lose some.
Just be cool, basically.
Etc...
Yup, fair points well made. Just be cool, basically.
Etc...
Let my guard down a bit with this one - a bit too early IMO. Shall dust myself off get back to it
blindswelledrat said:
I would happily sit their listening to their anecdotes about awful people they have dated who keep posting on the internet to ask what they should reply to a question.
My Sunday date was telling me about her last Tinder experience where the guy spent most of the date explanining the genetic disorder he suffers from...
SpunkyGlory said:
To expand on my ongoing battle with myself slightly more...
I met a girl a year ago today (I only know the date because it was at a music festival), and we started seeing each other for a few weeks. Ended up going out in October but broke up just after Christmas although most of December was pretty st to be fair. So all in all about 8 weeks of good fun, we didn't see each other for a couple of months and then saw each other in March and April casually, I ended up telling her I liked her but she didn't want a boyfriend and that was that, we haven't spoken since.
She is absolutely stunning and so much fun, we had such a laugh together. But at the same time she used to drive me up the wall when we were together: she was selfish, could be a nightmare when drunk, loads of little things that used to irritate me to the point of I actually text a mate one weekend saying I was going to break up with her.
So 8 weeks of fun with a great person but who at the time I knew wasn't going to be the one for me. So why, almost 4 months since I last spoke to her am I still not over her? Or am I over her but it's highlighted I want a relationship? Or is it an ego thing because she broke up with me? I don't do feelings or emotions and normally get over most things with a cold shower so this is driving me up the wall. I was never in love with her so I don't think I'm pining for her, I can't help but feel it's me finally reaching a point where I want more than just dating lots of people.
I let my guard down with this one and got burnt so part of me completely agrees with Count about not admitting how you feel. But at the same time, life's too short to worry about stupid things like that so be honest to yourself and others with how you feel.
If your confused then you've moved on your just not sure about how that makes you feel about that as its not really a nice way to treat another human that you once had a connection with. Time to not give a fI met a girl a year ago today (I only know the date because it was at a music festival), and we started seeing each other for a few weeks. Ended up going out in October but broke up just after Christmas although most of December was pretty s
t to be fair. So all in all about 8 weeks of good fun, we didn't see each other for a couple of months and then saw each other in March and April casually, I ended up telling her I liked her but she didn't want a boyfriend and that was that, we haven't spoken since.She is absolutely stunning and so much fun, we had such a laugh together. But at the same time she used to drive me up the wall when we were together: she was selfish, could be a nightmare when drunk, loads of little things that used to irritate me to the point of I actually text a mate one weekend saying I was going to break up with her.
So 8 weeks of fun with a great person but who at the time I knew wasn't going to be the one for me. So why, almost 4 months since I last spoke to her am I still not over her? Or am I over her but it's highlighted I want a relationship? Or is it an ego thing because she broke up with me? I don't do feelings or emotions and normally get over most things with a cold shower so this is driving me up the wall. I was never in love with her so I don't think I'm pining for her, I can't help but feel it's me finally reaching a point where I want more than just dating lots of people.
I let my guard down with this one and got burnt so part of me completely agrees with Count about not admitting how you feel. But at the same time, life's too short to worry about stupid things like that so be honest to yourself and others with how you feel.
k tbh.Foliage said:
If your confused then you've moved on your just not sure about how that makes you feel about that as its not really a nice way to treat another human that you once had a connection with. Time to not give a fk tbh.
Exactly what I did and I am now guilty of behaving in a similar fashion - unfairly hurting people that don't deserve to be hurt. k tbh.Man points can be deducted in the d1ck swinging that goes hand in hand with this thread but I am not too proud of my actions. Pay back when aimed at innocent and not at the one who hurt you was not the coolest thing I have done this year.
. Not too sure where yet, we are both fussy on food, Indian and Chinese are out of the question. Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff