Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Me and my missus are from different countries, it was a ball ache at first, but now we split our time equally between each other's places. I guess we are both lucky that our jobs are quite flexible. I only need to be in the office 5 or 6 days of the month, the rest can be done remotely.
My best mate has been moaning that his new bird lives in Roehampton as it's "a nightmare to drive to". He lived around the corner from me, in Clapham!!!!
My best mate has been moaning that his new bird lives in Roehampton as it's "a nightmare to drive to". He lived around the corner from me, in Clapham!!!!
BrabusMog said:
My best mate has been moaning that his new bird lives in Roehampton as it's "a nightmare to drive to".
As someone who grew up near there - I think it's fair to say that it's a bit 'Deliverance' around there - but without the banjo-plucking skills. It's the only place where I've been chat up on the bus at 8AM by a drunk girl who then went on to assault another passenger.Just a very general question regarding dating, both internet and real world.
What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
jogger1976 said:
Just a very general question regarding dating, both internet and real world.
What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
I'm glad someone else has had this experience though I haven't been nearly as exhaustive as you and I have one disadvantage in that I'm overweight (working on this now).What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
I re-activated my match.com when I moved from N.Wales to Manchester. Met one girl within a week who I got on very well with but it's died a death for a number of reasons.
Does seem like if you're an average looking bloke you have no chance as all the girls think some Brad Pitt is going to come along and sweep them off their feet.
jogger1976 said:
Just a very general question regarding dating, both internet and real world.
What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
I'm going to be honest and say that you must fall short in the looks department.What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
If you get that right then you'll get dates.
That's a fact
jogger1976 said:
Just a very general question regarding dating, both internet and real world.
What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
Try Meetup.com. It's kind of singles who aren't officially looking for someone, but underneath it all most are if you see what I mean? It takes the stress out of it, my last two are from there and it was as easy as falling off a log.What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
big dub said:
Do you lot have a limit on the distance / time the other person can be from you?
I've tried long distance once and it didn't work, I try to stick to no more the 45mins away now.
A nice looking woman messaged me on PoF today, but she's 90mins away in Halifax, I really don't want to be making that journey a lot :/
Have done it, won't do it anymore. It's not so much the mileage, but the journey and I can't imagine the M62 being very pleasant most times - if it's on quiet A roads then ok, but my last one was:I've tried long distance once and it didn't work, I try to stick to no more the 45mins away now.
A nice looking woman messaged me on PoF today, but she's 90mins away in Halifax, I really don't want to be making that journey a lot :/
Queue into town centre
Queue around town centre
Queue out of town centre
5 mins of fast dual carriageway.
45 mins in all and only about 18 miles, but it was painful especially at peak times. I couldn't be arsed doing it during the week and just went Sat eve through Sunday eve in the end - it was a bit like a weekend retreat
I once chatted up a woman online who lived over 200m away and figured she'd be up for a fair bit of naughtiness, I'd just come back from a restful holiday and had also just fitted a new engine in my car which needed running in, the three went together very well.
She was a bit of a bobfoc so I was there in her bedroom ploughing into her from behind when her young teenage son bounded in.
I bet the memory is etched on the poor kids mind and he had to go for counselling....
227bhp said:
jogger1976 said:
Just a very general question regarding dating, both internet and real world.
What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
Try Meetup.com. It's kind of singles who aren't officially looking for someone, but underneath it all most are if you see what I mean? It takes the stress out of it, my last two are from there and it was as easy as falling off a log.What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
Will give it the once over.Shnozz said:
Saw that on FB a couple of days ago Went on a date yesterday with a nice girl I met via a shared interest/sports organisation. It was a bit of an odd one though.
We spent the afternoon out walking in the park at one location followed by a quick drink at another. I gently made my intentions clear by complimenting her on how good she looked, what a good body she had etc. By this point it was already early evening so we headed back in towards London where we went for dinner. It was fairly platonic, not a lot of sexual chemistry going on but I invited her back to mine anyway and she agreed. It was getting late, about 11:00pm and she said “you do realise I’m staying here tonight don’t you?” Fair enough I thought, not going to argue with that.
As the evening progressed she was getting closer and closer to me (physically) on the sofa. I escalated things by getting a bit touchy feely – massaging her back, leg, gently working up to her ass… By this point she was falling asleep as it was late so she asked which bed she should sleep in and I pointed her in the direction of mine (even though I’ve got a spare room). She undressed to her underwear, put on one of my t-shirts and jumped into bed… I did a bit more of the gentle touchy feely stuff and she fell asleep, leaving me with the hope that things could get more interesting in the morning, being all re-energised and all that… Morning arrived and I got a bit touchy feely with her again. She certainly didn’t reject my advances but wasn’t reciprocating them. Eventually we got up and I dropped her off where I picked her up.
So, I literally slept with this girl in the same bed, it didn’t escalate to sex, but even more odd is that I didn’t get a kiss from her. Bit of a weird one. I think I’ve been friend zoned! Will move onto another!
We spent the afternoon out walking in the park at one location followed by a quick drink at another. I gently made my intentions clear by complimenting her on how good she looked, what a good body she had etc. By this point it was already early evening so we headed back in towards London where we went for dinner. It was fairly platonic, not a lot of sexual chemistry going on but I invited her back to mine anyway and she agreed. It was getting late, about 11:00pm and she said “you do realise I’m staying here tonight don’t you?” Fair enough I thought, not going to argue with that.
As the evening progressed she was getting closer and closer to me (physically) on the sofa. I escalated things by getting a bit touchy feely – massaging her back, leg, gently working up to her ass… By this point she was falling asleep as it was late so she asked which bed she should sleep in and I pointed her in the direction of mine (even though I’ve got a spare room). She undressed to her underwear, put on one of my t-shirts and jumped into bed… I did a bit more of the gentle touchy feely stuff and she fell asleep, leaving me with the hope that things could get more interesting in the morning, being all re-energised and all that… Morning arrived and I got a bit touchy feely with her again. She certainly didn’t reject my advances but wasn’t reciprocating them. Eventually we got up and I dropped her off where I picked her up.
So, I literally slept with this girl in the same bed, it didn’t escalate to sex, but even more odd is that I didn’t get a kiss from her. Bit of a weird one. I think I’ve been friend zoned! Will move onto another!
So if I'm reading this right you had a date that involved walking in the park, drinks, a meal and back to yours. You then got in bed together and, after you'd put your best moves on her she fell asleep!!
On the plus side at least you have a cure for insomnia :-)
I've had some fails but that is right up there with the best!!
Cool story bro.
On the plus side at least you have a cure for insomnia :-)
I've had some fails but that is right up there with the best!!
Cool story bro.
Tough gig CC07.
I had a date like that recently but with a role reversal. Went back to hers nothing physical had happened but I could tell she wanted me to stay, by the time we went to bed I was a bit tired so couldn't be bothered, reasoning it can wait to the morning.
Woke up in the morning full of life again and drilled her relentlessly.
Sorry, not sure if that helps
I had a date like that recently but with a role reversal. Went back to hers nothing physical had happened but I could tell she wanted me to stay, by the time we went to bed I was a bit tired so couldn't be bothered, reasoning it can wait to the morning.
Woke up in the morning full of life again and drilled her relentlessly.
Sorry, not sure if that helps
jogger1976 said:
Just a very general question regarding dating, both internet and real world.
What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
Just go out and socialise without actively looking for a date. Even I have pulled that way. What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
CC07 - you were too nice methinks. Should have gone for a kiss on the sofa and pushed things a bit to see what reaction you got. Then she has to make a decision to either shun you and effectively say no, or go along with things. Women like to be 'lead' with sex things because then they can blame you for them having sex, rather than them being 'slutty' and actually initiating it themselves. Obviously its not slutty to want sex, but women often have this thing about not wanting to be seen to make the moves. 'One thing lead to another and then we ended up in bed' thing... Nothing wrong with pushing it and seeing what reaction you get, after all, she presumably expected you to be interested in her or why else would you have taken her out for a date.
Condi said:
CC07 - you were too nice methinks. Should have gone for a kiss on the sofa and pushed things a bit to see what reaction you got. Then she has to make a decision to either shun you and effectively say no, or go along with things. Women like to be 'lead' with sex things because then they can blame you for them having sex, rather than them being 'slutty' and actually initiating it themselves. Obviously its not slutty to want sex, but women often have this thing about not wanting to be seen to make the moves. 'One thing lead to another and then we ended up in bed' thing... Nothing wrong with pushing it and seeing what reaction you get, after all, she presumably expected you to be interested in her or why else would you have taken her out for a date.
This man knows what he is talking about.You will miss out on the prize if you take the gentlemanly stance.
ColdSyphon said:
jogger1976 said:
Just a very general question regarding dating, both internet and real world.
What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
I'm glad someone else has had this experience though I haven't been nearly as exhaustive as you and I have one disadvantage in that I'm overweight (working on this now).What would you say is the best way to be successful using both methods, as I'm completely out of ideas and enthusiasm after 2 years of zero success?
I've tried POF, Match, E-Harmony, Guardian Soulmates, OK Cupid and some others I can't even remember the name of!
I've tried generic messaging, personalised messaging, funny lines, endlessly tweaked my profile, have a wide age and distance range etc, etc, but to no avail. Not one single date!
I've also had limited success in the real world using speed dating, singles nights and meeting girls in bars
Is it just that average looking blokes have little or no chance online or out in the field, so to speak.
Should I just take up the offer at the local monastery?
Genuinely confused and out of ideas here
I re-activated my match.com when I moved from N.Wales to Manchester. Met one girl within a week who I got on very well with but it's died a death for a number of reasons.
Does seem like if you're an average looking bloke you have no chance as all the girls think some Brad Pitt is going to come along and sweep them off their feet.
In the end I just went for generic messages for most people, just something like "Hello, how are you today? Did you have a good weekend?" If the person had something that I had an interest in written in their profile then I'd do a more tailored message, but for most people I'd just write the above. Then spam it. Anyone that piques your fancy just send them all the same message and sit back and see what happens. Most the time nothing, but you'll get a bite eventually.
Condi said:
CC07 - you were too nice methinks. Should have gone for a kiss on the sofa and pushed things a bit to see what reaction you got. Then she has to make a decision to either shun you and effectively say no, or go along with things. Women like to be 'lead' with sex things because then they can blame you for them having sex, rather than them being 'slutty' and actually initiating it themselves. Obviously its not slutty to want sex, but women often have this thing about not wanting to be seen to make the moves. 'One thing lead to another and then we ended up in bed' thing... Nothing wrong with pushing it and seeing what reaction you get, after all, she presumably expected you to be interested in her or why else would you have taken her out for a date.
You may be right. I'm expecting to see her again so could try being a little more pushy as you say for next time. Maybe the lack of reciprocation was deliberate on her part though so as to increase the chances of there being an actual relationship at the end of it rather than it just being about sex.
CC07 PEU said:
Condi said:
CC07 - you were too nice methinks. Should have gone for a kiss on the sofa and pushed things a bit to see what reaction you got. Then she has to make a decision to either shun you and effectively say no, or go along with things. Women like to be 'lead' with sex things because then they can blame you for them having sex, rather than them being 'slutty' and actually initiating it themselves. Obviously its not slutty to want sex, but women often have this thing about not wanting to be seen to make the moves. 'One thing lead to another and then we ended up in bed' thing... Nothing wrong with pushing it and seeing what reaction you get, after all, she presumably expected you to be interested in her or why else would you have taken her out for a date.
You may be right. I'm expecting to see her again so could try being a little more pushy as you say for next time. Maybe the lack of reciprocation was deliberate on her part though so as to increase the chances of there being an actual relationship at the end of it rather than it just being about sex.
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