Match.com (Volume 6)

[Ki3r]

BrabusMog said:

Without wishing to burst your feminist bubble, there's a difference between a decent story and one of a guy sat in his pants farting on your bed

I've never been on the dating scene for a long time as I love being able to fart, scratch my balls, belch etc, can only do that when you're a good month or so into a relationship - my (now) fiance lets me get away with murder, couldn't go back to holding in farts when having a Saturday morning lay-in. Jesus, that makes me sound like a right charmer!

I'm staying the night round my girlfriends for the first time this week. I am dreading the idea of farting or snoring, snoring isn't too bad, but I also sleep talk at times. Could be interesting...

She is meeting my parents and siblings next weekend.

Things are going well though. Enjoying what a relationship should be .

Oh I've also said I would cook dinner for us this week...I'm st at cooking .

Edited by Ki3r on Monday 12th October 02:10

[Vaud]

Pre-cook a casserole. If you need to, buy a slow cooker. Impossible to mess up.

Cook it, then transfer to a fancy pot, pop in oven and hide the slow cooker.

Then just steam some veg, add some boiled potatoes and you have a meal in minutes.

[Echo66]

Worried about farting in front of a date? Pah!

I let one go while I was down on a hot long legged Swedish girl many moons ago. Third or forth date I think. Certainly broke the ice......

[king arthur]

Echo66 said:

Worried about farting in front of a date? Pah!

I let one go while I was down on a hot long legged Swedish girl many moons ago. Third or forth date I think. Certainly broke the ice......

In her drink? Impressive.

[blindswelledrat]

Gretchen said:

Him or me? Is it because you don't like to hear stories from the female perspective? Compared to some of the tales on here from you chaps that's fairly light! I could tell you about the other week when we were cautioned by BiB in the middle of the night for lewd behaviour next to a motorway. But it's fairly sensitive material and I wouldn't want to disturb you

On behalf of PH you need to go and tinder in the areas where some of the people on this thread live so you can give us the actual stories about PHers.
I would absolutely love some of the women mentioned here to post their side of the stories.

[BrabusMog]

Echo66 said:

Worried about farting in front of a date? Pah!

I let one go while I was down on a hot long legged Swedish girl many moons ago. Third or forth date I think. Certainly broke the ice......

Haha, funnily enough my missus is Swedish and farts more than me, I was so glad that she let one go before I did

[BrabusMog]

blindswelledrat said:

Gretchen said:

Him or me? Is it because you don't like to hear stories from the female perspective? Compared to some of the tales on here from you chaps that's fairly light! I could tell you about the other week when we were cautioned by BiB in the middle of the night for lewd behaviour next to a motorway. But it's fairly sensitive material and I wouldn't want to disturb you

On behalf of PH you need to go and tinder in the areas where some of the people on this thread live so you can give us the actual stories about PHers.
I would absolutely love some of the women mentioned here to post their side of the stories.

I would love to hear it, too. Two of my friends who are constantly dating have some real horror stories but I've always wanted to know what the other person on the dates thought.

[Uncle John]

Glad I'm not in this dating game, my behind is like a Yorkshire Brass Band overnight these days.

Wouldn't go down well with potential suitors that's for sure.

[Shnozz]

I often compare tinder stories with female mates and it's just as much of a car crash on that side of the equation it seems. One of them went on a date with a chap who talked about his ex incessantly, changing the topic only to highlight he was unable to get an erection without resorting t oa st load of Columbian marching powder.

I've compared profiles and its harrowing stuff. In contrast I think us chaps have it easier - from the girl's perspective it seems a proper freak show, and that's before the "banter".

I'm giving tinder and happn a bit of a wide berth at the minute. It's been an immensely amusing 8 months or so and some proper nutters sprinkled in there and one short term relationship with a 6 foot brunette stunner. I travel around quite a lot so it's been quite an amusing and easy way to get chatting around the place with a new audience at each location - in Toronto I went out for drinks with 8 girls in 3 weeks using tinder. Too busy really to be arsed with all the replying and texting it demands for the time being and am due in Dubai for a month in a few weeks so no point matching here to limit conversation to texts for 6 weeks or so. Back to the natural hunting environment.

[xjay1337]

^

The life of a true player.

• brushes collar*

[Shnozz]

I wish.

In fact no I don't - I'd happily settle down if I met the right one. The trouble, as is often the way, is that when I like someone I go doe-eyed and behave gentlemanly, which is usually met with disinterest. To the remainder with whom I am less smitten I behave like a rogue and they vehemently run back for more. It's a well known cliche but certainly one I have witnessed being quite correct throughout my life.

[xjay1337]

Shnozz said:

I wish.

In fact no I don't - I'd happily settle down if I met the right one. The trouble, as is often the way, is that when I like someone I go doe-eyed and behave gentlemanly, which is usually met with disinterest. To the remainder with whom I am less smitten I behave like a rogue and they vehemently run back for more. It's a well known cliche but certainly one I have witnessed being quite correct throughout my life.

You haven't met the right one mate.

It'll come.

My ex, was sweet as pie until she started getting attention from other people (we were both very heavily invested in the "VW scene"). I valued her over my car/shows/attention etc. She grew to change. But when we broke up and we were trying being friends (which didn't work out) when I was being a "Bad boy", blunt, uncaring etc, she seemed far more interested.

My current I've actually known for 4 years and I am just myself, and likewise she is just herself.

I think when you find a woman who isn't a narcissistic moron then you are set for life

[CountZero23]

Shnozz said:

I wish.

In fact no I don't - I'd happily settle down if I met the right one. The trouble, as is often the way, is that when I like someone I go doe-eyed and behave gentlemanly, which is usually met with disinterest. To the remainder with whom I am less smitten I behave like a rogue and they vehemently run back for more. It's a well known cliche but certainly one I have witnessed being quite correct throughout my life.

I know what you mean there. Met a few this year I'd of happily tried a relationship with who ran a mile when it looked like it could head in that direction.

By the same token a nurse I'd not bothered getting back to for a few weeks was keen as mustard to come over to mine late on Saturday with a few bottles of wine and have some fun.

Worse problems to have I guess

[Condi]

Shnozz said:

Too busy really to be arsed with all the replying and texting it demands for the time being and am due in Dubai for a month in a few weeks so no point matching here to limit conversation to texts for 6 weeks or so. Back to the natural hunting environment.

Couldnt agree more. Go to a bar, you know within a few minuets of conversation where things will go. Tinder takes ages and then you only find out shes a nutter after 2 weeks of 'effort'.

[blindswelledrat]

Echo66 said:

Worried about farting in front of a date? Pah!

I let one go while I was down on a hot long legged Swedish girl many moons ago. Third or forth date I think. Certainly broke the ice......

I would have thought going down on someone only occurred long after ice was already broken.
I cant imagine what happened there:

Echo: Hello. My name is Echo. Pleased to meet you
Inge: Hello. My name is Inge. Pleased to me you too.
Echo: Would you mind awfully if I performed oral sex on you?
Igne: Okay, that would be acceptable.
>fumble, slurp, fart<
Inge: Hahaha, you're so funny echo. I thought you were a bit dull up until that point.

[BrabusMog]

blindswelledrat said:

Echo66 said:

Worried about farting in front of a date? Pah!

I let one go while I was down on a hot long legged Swedish girl many moons ago. Third or forth date I think. Certainly broke the ice......

I would have thought going down on someone only occurred long after ice was already broken.
I cant imagine what happened there:

Echo: Hello. My name is Echo. Pleased to meet you
Inge: Hello. My name is Inge. Pleased to me you too.
Echo: Would you mind awfully if I performed oral sex on you?
Igne: Okay, that would be acceptable.
>fumble, slurp, fart<
Inge: Hahaha, you're so funny echo. I thought you were a bit dull up until that point.

Just an FYI though, BSR, Inge is the Swedish equivalent of Ethel.

[Ki3r]

I stayed the night last night, was paranoid that I was going to either sleep talk/walk or fart in my sleep. But if I did it didn't bother her which is a result! Christ she fidgets though!

Also didn't kill her from my cooking either!

She's meeting my family on Saturday afternoon, and then some of her friends are popping over for the evening.

A question for those who have kids and met someone else or met someone with kids...when (if at all?) did you meet the child's other parent?

Girlfriends son is seeing his dad on Saturday whilst she's at work, then I'm going around in the afternoon and will possibly meet him during drop off.

I'm in two minds about it. But part of me thinks it's going to happen somewhen, might as well get it out of the way etc.

Thoughts?

[xjay1337]

Have you shagged her yet?

Are you worried about meeting the son or the father?

Son should be fine. Most kids like cars/guns/games consoles. Just don't try and be his new Daddy. Unless he wants you to be.
Father isn't a problem unless he/she (your new mrs) makes it a problem. Just be amicable, say hello mate, hows you? etc.
He has probably moved on too.

[lostkiwi]

I met my other halfs kids father about 2 months after I moved in with her. Her kids are both grown up though so that makes a difference as there is less need to cross paths. In our case we only met as a result of the grandson's birthday.

[escargot]

My fiancée hasn't yet met the mother of my son, although that's predominantly down to the logistics of us not being in the same country. Under normal circumstances, I'd say a couple of months to meet the kids & other parents. IE, when it's a more established relationship.