Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
SkinnyPete said:
I'm glad you posted that as I was beginning to think I've gone soft.
When I'm with a girl who I consider a lower 'social status' (I know that sounds terrible, am I going to hell?) I am totally un-phased and maybe even a tadge cocky/arrogant because I don't' care if they walk. But when I meet someone who I genuinely like I have to try my best to fight the feelings of butterflies / anxiousness!
This is me. When I'm with a girl who I consider a lower 'social status' (I know that sounds terrible, am I going to hell?) I am totally un-phased and maybe even a tadge cocky/arrogant because I don't' care if they walk. But when I meet someone who I genuinely like I have to try my best to fight the feelings of butterflies / anxiousness!
I seemingly have a face for radio going by my foray into the online world yet have ticked off a few stunners I've charmed in person (this seems to have set my standards a bit too high) which just doesn't cut it online.
In the very few times I've met someone that I'd like to take it further with I just turn to an anxious mess.
27, only relationship I've had is the first year of uni and I realised after that I was having much more fun on my own anyway and still enjoy living without responsibilities and taking some extravagant holidays which has me only willing to give the single life up for someone pretty special.
Pebbles167 said:
Bloody hell, this whole messaging randomers thing gets a bit repetitive doesn't it.
i am assuming you are opening with something like "hi how are you?". Try something different each time. Surprisingly those 'randomers' enjoy receiving the same message each time about as much as you enjoy sending it each time!Pebbles167 said:
I wasn't so much talking about the opening line. I generally get replies. It's the whole BS that you chat until you get a number/date. Sometimes it's ok if you get on well, but more often than not it's very drab.
to be honest i (used to) usually drop a rude joke in pretty early on. If they didn't think it was funny i'd cut it dead as we'd never get on in real life. I married the girl that told me one first! Most people are boring as f
k to talk to. If you're bored by their chat it's prob a sign to not bother progressing to meeting in real life. Yes you'll get fewer dates/shags but i reckon if you've got to put up with hours of dishwater chat in a wetherspoons before getting a lacklustre toothy blowjob in their grubby flat then i'd sooner swerve.Pebbles167 said:
I wasn't so much talking about the opening line. I generally get replies. It's the whole BS that you chat until you get a number/date. Sometimes it's ok if you get on well, but more often than not it's very drab.
I personally find it best to just ask for their number after the first few messages.It weeds out the time wasters.
It also scares some people off but as a fall back I ask for their Facebookso we can talk on there and 'get to know each other' first. Once they see your social media life they become more receptive.
I've also started this, seems to work well enough. I downloaded 'whatsapp' a few weeks ago which is what a lot of people seem to want to use. Doesn't usually seem to scare anyone off.
I tend not to Facebook straight away, my page is full of Daddy stuff. Sure, I obviously need a girl who can get along with kids, but I don't want it to overwhelm them. Is this the right way to go about it? My previous excursions into POF was primarily for quick flings and the like, but although I'm not expressly after it, I wouldn't mind a relationship this time.
I tend not to Facebook straight away, my page is full of Daddy stuff. Sure, I obviously need a girl who can get along with kids, but I don't want it to overwhelm them. Is this the right way to go about it? My previous excursions into POF was primarily for quick flings and the like, but although I'm not expressly after it, I wouldn't mind a relationship this time.
Oh fyi the flakey 23 year old got back in touch out of the blue. Made her excuses and asked how I was. I replied about 2 hours later suggesting a time to meet and she's reverted back to radio silence 
Obviously I am not bothered but you do have to wonder what goes through peoples minds.
Obviously I am not bothered but you do have to wonder what goes through peoples minds.
SkinnyPete said:
Oh fyi the flakey 23 year old got back in touch out of the blue. Made her excuses and asked how I was. I replied about 2 hours later suggesting a time to meet and she's reverted back to radio silence
Obviously I am not bothered but you do have to wonder what goes through peoples minds.
To be fair now it sounds like you're expecting an immediate reply. Which is, verging on mental remember Obviously I am not bothered but you do have to wonder what goes through peoples minds.
amgmcqueen said:
Whats the verdict on women with a sprog?
Best avoided at all costs?
Not at all. Unless you really can't stand kids. Best avoided at all costs?
In my experience most girls with kids are not after a new dad for the child, they just want someone who's actually decent. Sure there are women who are only after a baby daddy, but this is usually immediately apparent from the word go.
I've got a kid myself and it scares girls off sometimes, but to be honest it's rarely held me back in relationships. Try it and see what happens.
amgmcqueen said:
Whats the verdict on women with a sprog?
Best avoided at all costs?
I've dated three women with children, first (bi polar women for those that remember her) was a bit of a shock as I was dead against having kids myself, but she she was pretty awesome for a kid (first got with her mum when she was nine months old, broke up when she was 2 and a bit). Happily admit it was because of her that made me want kids. Best avoided at all costs?
Second women, her kid was horrible. Badly behaved. Wouldn't do what was asked (didn't help that the mum had empty threats, 'I'll take your iPad off you if you don't go to bed now'. 30 minutes later he's still up and she hasn't taken it off him). Other than her being worse than my previous girlfriend, her son was part of the reason I broke up with her.
My girlfriend has a three and a half year old son. He is well behaved, polite and fun to be around. I also like that she didn't introduce me to him straight away, something both the others didn't do. First she brought her daughter along and second was second date around hers (I thought he was at her parents).
It does in my opinion depend on if they (the parent) has similar values to you.
Pebbles167 said:
amgmcqueen said:
Whats the verdict on women with a sprog?
Best avoided at all costs?
Not at all. Unless you really can't stand kids. Best avoided at all costs?
In my experience most girls with kids are not after a new dad for the child, they just want someone who's actually decent. Sure there are women who are only after a baby daddy, but this is usually immediately apparent from the word go.
I've got a kid myself and it scares girls off sometimes, but to be honest it's rarely held me back in relationships. Try it and see what happens.
Hmmmmm......
They probably feel like they have to justify that they are not a deadbeat mum? Don't know, but yeah I dislike that line but I look through it. My profile has the "has children" option ticked, but no mention elsewhere.
Personally, what gets me is girls who don't have a job, or don't have a car. It turns out the girl I just asked out on a date has neither. Bloody hell, i've been here before.
Personally, what gets me is girls who don't have a job, or don't have a car. It turns out the girl I just asked out on a date has neither. Bloody hell, i've been here before.
amgmcqueen said:
I guess it could be worth a try. It's just lately about 50% of the profiles sound great, same values, common interests etc. Then at the end it will read something like 'my 3yo daughter is my world and she always comes first' or something along those lines!
Hmmmmm......
IME it can be very frustrating but also very rewarding. Treat her situation with some respect and have realistic expectations eg you will NOT be the centre of her world and your plans may have to change at the 11th hour etc so you need to be the able to accept that.Hmmmmm......
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