Match.com (Volume 6)

[SkinnyPete]

How is everyone getting on?

AdamIndy said:

SkinnyPete said:

Date tonight, went perfect although I thought I was dead in the water after she made two references to me being skinny.

We arranged the next date there and then.

2nd date went perfect well although we joke that it feels like the 4th or 5th because we spend hours on the phone every other night (up to 4 hours at one point).

I don't want to broadcast too many details for obvious reasons but I really like this girl, so much so that I occasionally get a bit anxious thinking about her in case I've said something wrong or in case she realises I'm not her type. It wouldn't be so much a problem but in 27 years I've always felt like I'm pushing squares into circles, until now.

[spikey78]

SkinnyPete said:

2nd date went perfect well although we joke that it feels like the 4th or 5th because we spend hours on the phone every other night (up to 4 hours at one point).

I don't want to broadcast too many details for obvious reasons but I really like this girl, so much so that I occasionally get a bit anxious thinking about her in case I've said something wrong or in case she realises I'm not her type. It wouldn't be so much a problem but in 27 years I've always felt like I'm pushing squares into circles, until now.

Have you tried KY jelly?

[Pebbles167]

If you like eachother and talk for hours, then she's probably more perceptive than you think. She's worked out she likes you as you and that you are her type, so just be yourself, anything else will get in the way.

Progress in my world is slow. All the possible leads stopped and so need to get some fresh ones. In other news, the ex messaged me and appears to be suffering the xmas blues because she's still single. She's looking good, but we split up for a reason.

Annoyingly my ex wife of 3 years ago has a new boyfriend. That isn't annoying itself, as I'm happy for her, but everyone I bump into brings it up and waits for my reactions. Thats whats boody annoying, as it's nothing to do with me.

[SkinnyPete]

Pebbles167 said:

If you like eachother and talk for hours, then she's probably more perceptive than you think. She's worked out she likes you as you and that you are her type, so just be yourself, anything else will get in the way.

Progress in my world is slow. All the possible leads stopped and so need to get some fresh ones. In other news, the ex messaged me and appears to be suffering the xmas blues because she's still single. She's looking good, but we split up for a reason.

Annoyingly my ex wife of 3 years ago has a new boyfriend. That isn't annoying itself, as I'm happy for her, but everyone I bump into brings it up and waits for my reactions. Thats whats boody annoying, as it's nothing to do with me.

That's quite coincidental, a girl I was with in March sent me a friend request on Facebook yesterday out of the blue with a suggestive message but like you said they are ex's for a reason.

[Pebbles167]

I think sometimes it's worth another shot, under some circumstances. But it needs to be thought about properly.

Obviously in your situation it sounds like you're on to something good and I'd imagine you'll want to be making a proper go at that.

[big dub]

So things are still going well with the one I met off Tinder, it'll be a month on Friday. My shifts give me a fair bit of free time, but as she's a copper, her shifts are a nightmare and for now we don't get to see each other as often as we'd like. I'm sure once we've introduced each other to our respective children further down the line, then it'll get easier.

My car club had its xmas meal on Saturday, and it was the first proper big night out for us both and her to meet some of my friends, all went really well. Whenever I get to meet her friends though, that's going to be like being fed to a pack of Hyenas I think.

[Pebbles167]

olly22n said:

Wow.

I can see why you'd say that, but truthfully at my own owners club meet cars were not really the focus and all the partners there were happy and chatty.

I guess if you spend enough time with a certain group of people and they are no longer just associates, they become friends. These are obviously his.

[xjay1337]

SkinnyPete said:

2nd date went perfect well although we joke that it feels like the 4th or 5th because we spend hours on the phone every other night (up to 4 hours at one point).

I don't want to broadcast too many details for obvious reasons but I really like this girl, so much so that I occasionally get a bit anxious thinking about her in case I've said something wrong or in case she realises I'm not her type. It wouldn't be so much a problem but in 27 years I've always felt like I'm pushing squares into circles, until now.

Ahh brilliant! Sounds very good

To be spending that amount of time on the phone is a really good thing. In this day and age when most people don't even want to say hello.
I'd be moving onto your next dates fairly quickly and trying to kiss her at a good opportunity before you end up friend-zoned.

[big dub]

Pebbles167 said:

olly22n said:

Wow.

I can see why you'd say that, but truthfully at my own owners club meet cars were not really the focus and all the partners there were happy and chatty.

I guess if you spend enough time with a certain group of people and they are no longer just associates, they become friends. These are obviously his.

It no doubt sounds sadder than it really is, the core group of the club are close friends and we go out to a local Thai place each year.

[Shnozz]

SkinnyPete said:

2nd date went perfect well although we joke that it feels like the 4th or 5th because we spend hours on the phone every other night (up to 4 hours at one point).

I don't want to broadcast too many details for obvious reasons but I really like this girl, so much so that I occasionally get a bit anxious thinking about her in case I've said something wrong or in case she realises I'm not her type. It wouldn't be so much a problem but in 27 years I've always felt like I'm pushing squares into circles, until now.

I had a similar situation earlier this year. Clicked like I hadn't previously and spent 3 - 4 hours on a number of evenings on the phone to one another before we met in person. Work and holiday trips for each of us combined to an inability to meet up, although I very nearly flew to Dubai for dinner one night which was a long story but instead we eventually slotted in a night after a month or so of texts and lengthy phone calls. Sadly I liked her and when that happens the ar5ehole in me subsides and the time-old tradition applies whereby behaving without nonchalance and confidence soon brings about a disinterest. Start displaying your anxiety or need to treat her right and you're on a slippery slope.

[Pebbles167]

Shnozz said:

Sadly I liked her and when that happens the ar5ehole in me subsides and the time-old tradition applies whereby behaving without nonchalance and confidence soon brings about a disinterest. Start displaying your anxiety or need to treat her right and you're on a slippery slope.

It's happened to me too a few times. It's strange, as like you I'm generally pretty confident and chatty. I'm working on improving this problem..

[blindswelledrat]

big dub said:

It no doubt sounds sadder than it really is, the core group of the club are close friends and we go out to a local Thai place each year.

If I ever got to that stage with internet people I would refer to them as "My friends"
To tell the wider world that they are your internet car club sounds.....well like it is I suppose.

[SpeckledJim]

SkinnyPete said:

2nd date went perfect well although we joke that it feels like the 4th or 5th because we spend hours on the phone every other night (up to 4 hours at one point).

That's surely not a good idea is it? 4 hours on the phone is what she does with her best mate from primary school. Not Mr Right.

"Honestly mum, I think he's the one. He's SUCH a chatterbox!"

Doesn't ring true, does it. Keep your best craic for when you're together.

[Shnozz]

Pebbles167 said:

Shnozz said:

Sadly I liked her and when that happens the ar5ehole in me subsides and the time-old tradition applies whereby behaving without nonchalance and confidence soon brings about a disinterest. Start displaying your anxiety or need to treat her right and you're on a slippery slope.

It's happened to me too a few times. It's strange, as like you I'm generally pretty confident and chatty. I'm working on improving this problem..

Not so much an issue insofar as being confident and chatty, more the case that I took to responding to her texts or calls, often relatively quickly. I took to arranging nice romantic dates, stopped seeing other women, made it clear I was into her etc etc.

All the things that are the polar opposite of how I ordinarily behave. And all the things that show you to be no challenge at all......

Since then its back to the world of being an absolute ar5ehole. Up front about wanting nothing but some fun, openly talking of other women, rarely replying to anything and being generally disinterested and, in time honoured tradition, the women you meet go doe-eyed and crave it more. Funny old world.

[Pebbles167]

Shnozz said:

Not so much an issue insofar as being confident and chatty, more the case that I took to responding to her texts or calls, often relatively quickly. I took to arranging nice romantic dates, stopped seeing other women, made it clear I was into her etc etc.

All the things that are the polar opposite of how I ordinarily behave. And all the things that show you to be no challenge at all......

Since then its back to the world of being an absolute ar5ehole. Up front about wanting nothing but some fun, openly talking of other women, rarely replying to anything and being generally disinterested and, in time honoured tradition, the women you meet go doe-eyed and crave it more. Funny old world.

Yeah, but in that case you're doing nothing wrong. That 'treat them mean' st should go out the window once things are actually going somewhere. Keep at it, the right one will respond properly I'd guess.

[big dub]

blindswelledrat said:

If I ever got to that stage with internet people I would refer to them as "My friends"
To tell the wider world that they are your internet car club sounds.....well like it is I suppose.

Wow, sad sad people. It's not an internet car club, though we are known worldwide, we've all been friends for a long time, and we just happen to be in a car club.

There are no doubt things that you do that others would look down upon, stop being so judgemental.

[xjay1337]

Pebbles167 said:

Yeah, but in that case you're doing nothing wrong. That 'treat them mean' st should go out the window once things are actually going somewhere. Keep at it, the right one will respond properly I'd guess.

I don't think treat them mean works at all.
Not for the ones you want to keep anyway.

[Shnozz]

Pebbles167 said:

Yeah, but in that case you're doing nothing wrong. That 'treat them mean' st should go out the window once things are actually going somewhere. Keep at it, the right one will respond properly I'd guess.

Whilst I would love to agree, at 37 and having quite a few mates (from 20's through to mid-40's) playing the singles field, I am starting to wonder as that strange effect appears uniform. Anyway, nowt one can do about it as unless you can manipulate yourself to play a role (something I'd not want to do anyway), then it is what it is.

[Pebbles167]

xjay1337 said:

I don't think treat them mean works at all.
Not for the ones you want to keep anyway.

Well obviously. Literally treating someone you like in a mean way is dumb. What I was meaning is that once something is starting you shouldn't have to think "am i coming across as too nice/easy/needy" you should be able to say and do what you want.

Shnozz said:

Whilst I would love to agree, at 37 and having quite a few mates (from 20's through to mid-40's) playing the singles field, I am starting to wonder as that strange effect appears uniform. Anyway, nowt one can do about it as unless you can manipulate yourself to play a role (something I'd not want to do anyway), then it is what it is.

Keep at it. Besides, at least you have single friends to go out with and stuff. All mine are loved up, and so going out is a rarity to say the least.

Edited by Pebbles167 on Tuesday 8th December 16:08

[xjay1337]

Pebbles167 said:

Well obviously. Literally treating someone you like in a mean way is dumb. What I was meaning is that once something is starting you shouldn't have to think "am i coming across as too nice/easy/needy" you should be able to say and do what you want.

Thats true.
i think the best match is someone you can be yourself around.