Match.com (Volume 6)

[martin mrt]

CaptainSlow said:

Pebbles167 said:

Right.

One of my best mates split with his girlfriend of 2 years about 8-10 months ago. No kids together. He wanted her back, but got over it. He's since found a lovely new girlfriend, who our friend group all get on with and he's now moved in.

His ex and I started talking about a month ago and of course one thing led to another and we've started sleeping together.

Said mate and his new girlfriend have invited all our friend group over for drinks, but I was actually intending to go to his exes with my daughter and her kids just to chill out.

Whilst I don't think he'll have a problem with it, I was planning to mention it (that we're seeing each other) to him out of courtesy tonight before everyone gets pissed up. Anything in particular I should say/avoid saying?

Avoid talking about orgasms and penis sizes.

I've recently split up with my ex of just over 2 years and had any of mates attempted to go near her in that way I would likely end up landing a swift right hook in their boat race

[Pebbles167]

Don't think she's trying to piss him off. She had another boyfriend in between after all. Possible though I guess, I'm not in love or anything so if that's her game, fair enough.

We really are good mates, for real. Since we were 4 years old. Now you put it like that though, perhaps I should have done this better. He and a few others pretty much kept me going when my marriage fell apart in 2012. Perhaps I need to apologise to him then...

[Pebbles167]

martin mrt said:

I've recently split up with my ex of just over 2 years and had any of mates attempted to go near her in that way I would likely end up landing a swift right hook in their boat race

What if you'd found a new girl, who was prettier and you actually fell in love with and had a lot of common interests. Your friends also liked her, and your ex was a distant memory. (His words, summed up)

Would that change things? Because that's where I am I guess.

[Pebbles167]

Anyway, Cheers for the replies. I'll see what happens and report back.

[martin mrt]

Pebbles167 said:

martin mrt said:

I've recently split up with my ex of just over 2 years and had any of mates attempted to go near her in that way I would likely end up landing a swift right hook in their boat race

What if you'd found a new girl, who was prettier and you actually fell in love with and had a lot of common interests. Your friends also liked her, and your ex was a distant memory. (His words, summed up)

Would that change things? Because that's where I am I guess.

If that were the case Id possibly stop short of the right hook but I'd still be far from amused and I'm sure many of my mates share a similar outlook

[All that jazz]

Pebbles167 said:

One of my best mates split with his girlfriend of 2 years about 8-10 months ago. No kids together. He wanted her back, but got over it.

That's not a good sign. She's obviously dumped him if he wanted her back. I think you may find it won't end well for you if you announce you're with her now. I would advise treading carefully and perhaps see if you can keep your night in with his ex under wraps for a while longer yet.

[Blown2CV]

martin mrt said:

Pebbles167 said:

martin mrt said:

I've recently split up with my ex of just over 2 years and had any of mates attempted to go near her in that way I would likely end up landing a swift right hook in their boat race

What if you'd found a new girl, who was prettier and you actually fell in love with and had a lot of common interests. Your friends also liked her, and your ex was a distant memory. (His words, summed up)

Would that change things? Because that's where I am I guess.

If that were the case Id possibly stop short of the right hook but I'd still be far from amused and I'm sure many of my mates share a similar outlook

even if he wasn't furious, it's still a bit of an unfair thing to do. When you dump or get dumped you usually never want to see the person ever again. As a mate, then getting together with them may mean that you are keeping your mate's ex nearby for a prolonged period of time, maybe forever. Partly it depends how amicable the split was, but even if it was all fine, it will still prompt weird unwelcome feelings in the mate every time you present them with the ex. You could always marry her and ask him to be best man if you really want to push the envelope.

It isn't a case of either angry or totally fine with it... there is a spectrum of emotions in between that basically you are shoving up your mate's arse, over and over. It would fade over time, but he might just decide to spend far less time with you before that happens. Blokes don't really seem to understand this st do they? Oh yea he said he's OK so we're OK.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Disclaimer - All other things being equal, and based on the story as told.

Past the age of about 20, anyone that harbours any resentment or anger at the activities of a long-ago girlfriend isn't someone I'd much want to be pals with I don't think.

[mikees]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Disclaimer - All other things being equal, and based on the story as told.

Past the age of about 20, anyone that harbours any resentment or anger at the activities of a long-ago girlfriend isn't someone I'd much want to be pals with I don't think.

This. We are not cave men. I'd be fine, but I an nearly 50 so a bit more laid back.

[STO]

olly22n said:

If my mate started fking my ex wife, I really wouldn't give a fk.

If my mate started fking my ex I split up with this year that would be it. Done. No going back.


So I'd say it's totally down to what lies in your mates heart, and if he still loves her or not.

If my mate started fking my ex I`d be concerned for my mates sanaty.

[xjay1337]

STO said:

If my mate started fking my ex I`d be concerned for my mates sanaty.

My mate did.

2 yrs later I got an apology text lol.

[Pebbles167]

From the other thread..

"...I went and told him, he was sober, and was fine. Said it seemed cool. Had a laugh about it, had a drink and off on went.

Nice guy "

Cheers for all your advice.

[Gretchen]

All this mates and exes stuff, what happens with the women?

Actually who cares. I'll enjoy while I can.

Love Triangle has been the making of me

[Blown2CV]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Disclaimer - All other things being equal, and based on the story as told.

Past the age of about 20, anyone that harbours any resentment or anger at the activities of a long-ago girlfriend isn't someone I'd much want to be pals with I don't think.

sounds like you want a free reign to just clear up all the broken and vulnerable exes amongst your group of mates!

Surely it's totally dependent on the individuals in question, everyone is completely different. Bit much to write someone off just because they might have an emotional reaction to your scattergun dickings.

[vtecyo]

I need some ideas for a third date with a girl I'm really into for several reasons. So far we've done a dinner out and a takeaway. She wants to do something "activeish" on Sunday day time and I said I'd surprise her (rookie error).

The leader was this but I don't fancy being surrounded by screaming children: http://www.clipnclimbbristol.co.uk/

Another problem is it's winter.. was thinking maybe Segway tours / clay pigeon shooting but if it's wet & cold it'll probably be st. Although she is from Wales so arguably should be used to that..

Any ideas?

[Trabi601]

I'd probably advise against Clays - women just don't have the kind of gun fetish (some) men do. May send out completely the wrong kind of message as guns are very divisive.

Not the most original idea, but Pen Y Fan is looking spectacular at the moment - I think the weekend weather will be good, and it's a very easy walk up. Only downside is that it could be very busy.

[johnwilliams77]

vtecyo said:

I need some ideas for a third date with a girl I'm really into for several reasons. So far we've done a dinner out and a takeaway. She wants to do something "activeish" on Sunday day time and I said I'd surprise her (rookie error).

The leader was this but I don't fancy being surrounded by screaming children: http://www.clipnclimbbristol.co.uk/

Another problem is it's winter.. was thinking maybe Segway tours / clay pigeon shooting but if it's wet & cold it'll probably be st. Although she is from Wales so arguably should be used to that..

Any ideas?

Hill walk or hire bikes

[Gretchen]

johnwilliams77 said:

vtecyo said:

I need some ideas for a third date with a girl I'm really into for several reasons. So far we've done a dinner out and a takeaway. She wants to do something "activeish" on Sunday day time and I said I'd surprise her (rookie error).

The leader was this but I don't fancy being surrounded by screaming children: http://www.clipnclimbbristol.co.uk/

Another problem is it's winter.. was thinking maybe Segway tours / clay pigeon shooting but if it's wet & cold it'll probably be st. Although she is from Wales so arguably should be used to that..

Any ideas?

Hill walk or hire bikes

Hire bikes? Who do you think he's dating, Mary fking Poppins? Happy Shopper isn't my idea of fun. Guns on the other hand...

[Saleen836]

vtecyo said:

I need some ideas for a third date with a girl I'm really into for several reasons. So far we've done a dinner out and a takeaway. She wants to do something "activeish" on Sunday day time and I said I'd surprise her (rookie error).

The leader was this but I don't fancy being surrounded by screaming children: http://www.clipnclimbbristol.co.uk/

Another problem is it's winter.. was thinking maybe Segway tours / clay pigeon shooting but if it's wet & cold it'll probably be st. Although she is from Wales so arguably should be used to that..

Any ideas?

Airhop in Bristol (you book an hour slot) there is also http://www.puzzlair.co.uk/for-who-live-escape/ either followed up by a stroll around the harbour/coffee etc

[Blown2CV]

Gretchen said:

johnwilliams77 said:

vtecyo said:

I need some ideas for a third date with a girl I'm really into for several reasons. So far we've done a dinner out and a takeaway. She wants to do something "activeish" on Sunday day time and I said I'd surprise her (rookie error).

The leader was this but I don't fancy being surrounded by screaming children: http://www.clipnclimbbristol.co.uk/

Another problem is it's winter.. was thinking maybe Segway tours / clay pigeon shooting but if it's wet & cold it'll probably be st. Although she is from Wales so arguably should be used to that..

Any ideas?

Hill walk or hire bikes

Hire bikes? Who do you think he's dating, Mary fking Poppins? Happy Shopper isn't my idea of fun. Guns on the other hand...

you are a girl on a car website to be fair...