Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Mercury00 said:
I thought I was desparate until I read the advice of putting up with smokers and other people's cast off children. I'm not that desperate!
I'm reading that and thinking people are needing company rather than a serious relationship.Removing children from the filter is too far. Accepting and dealing with children is a massive issue. Why even waste the time to do something you really don't want?
Driver101 said:
I'm reading that and thinking people are needing company rather than a serious relationship.
Removing children from the filter is too far. Accepting and dealing with children is a massive issue. Why even waste the time to do something you really don't want?
So you can bang some milfsRemoving children from the filter is too far. Accepting and dealing with children is a massive issue. Why even waste the time to do something you really don't want?
Mercury00 said:
I thought I was desparate until I read the advice of putting up with smokers and other people's cast off children. I'm not that desperate!
The trouble is, if you're looking at women in their 30s and early 40s without kids, it's highly likely they're scrabbling around desperately trying to find a someone who'll give them children.On the other hand, if you include children in the search, you'll often find that they're in their mid to late teens and therefore not really going to have a massive impact on your relationship.
Smoking is a personal thing - I'm an ex smoker and can happily co-exist with smokers, so long as they don't smoke in my house or in my car.
Life is full of compromise - I've seen some posts here complaining women want unicorns, but then seen some ridiculously tight criteria posted a page later.
Cast the net wider and prepare to be surprised.
Trabi601 said:
The trouble is, if you're looking at women in their 30s and early 40s without kids, it's highly likely they're scrabbling around desperately trying to find a someone who'll give them children.
On the other hand, if you include children in the search, you'll often find that they're in their mid to late teens and therefore not really going to have a massive impact on your relationship.
Smoking is a personal thing - I'm an ex smoker and can happily co-exist with smokers, so long as they don't smoke in my house or in my car.
Life is full of compromise - I've seen some posts here complaining women want unicorns, but then seen some ridiculously tight criteria posted a page later.
Cast the net wider and prepare to be surprised.
Also quite possible for a woman who is 38 to already have a grown up child that has left home... so minimal issue?On the other hand, if you include children in the search, you'll often find that they're in their mid to late teens and therefore not really going to have a massive impact on your relationship.
Smoking is a personal thing - I'm an ex smoker and can happily co-exist with smokers, so long as they don't smoke in my house or in my car.
Life is full of compromise - I've seen some posts here complaining women want unicorns, but then seen some ridiculously tight criteria posted a page later.
Cast the net wider and prepare to be surprised.
Driver101 said:
I'm reading that and thinking people are needing company rather than a serious relationship.
I'm going to come back to this one - if you're approaching online dating with the view that you're looking for a serious relationship, then you're already casting a very narrow net.Call it company, call it having a bit of fun, go in with an open mind and no pre-conceived expectations because you don't know when you'll end up going on a date with someone who does turn out to be long term.
Trabi601 said:
Call it company, call it having a bit of fun, go in with an open mind and no pre-conceived expectations because you don't know when you'll end up going on a date with someone who does turn out to be long term.
Absolutely this. My girlfriend started out as a bit of fun at a party 10 years ago. Now it's not entirely conventional in that we don't live together, she has her life and I have mine, and we meet when it suits, but it works for us and it's my longest standing relationship. In contrast all the women who were "the one" when I met them have gone nowhere.
Trabi601 said:
As you've found, you're cutting out probably 99% of the available women out there!
I started off with really tight criteria - non smoker, no kids (and don't want them), no dogs, no religion, etc., etc - and got the same results as you. I then took off all the restrictions bar 'no kids, but want them' - I don't want kids, but decided I was cutting out most available women by looking for a 30-45 year old without them!
Suddenly there were hundreds of matches, and I started to get responses and dates. Even ended up seeing someone for a few months who had 3 kids a dog and 2 cats who also had the odd cigarette.
Smoking cats? Thought it was beagles.I started off with really tight criteria - non smoker, no kids (and don't want them), no dogs, no religion, etc., etc - and got the same results as you. I then took off all the restrictions bar 'no kids, but want them' - I don't want kids, but decided I was cutting out most available women by looking for a 30-45 year old without them!
Suddenly there were hundreds of matches, and I started to get responses and dates. Even ended up seeing someone for a few months who had 3 kids a dog and 2 cats who also had the odd cigarette.
I've been dating a girl i met on POF for about a month and to my surprise I have genuinely developed some pretty strong feelings for her.
It feels totally different to anything I've felt since I was with my ex wife 4 years ago. I've been in small relationships (albeit very fun ones) but nothing I've really cared about when it stopped. I don't want to get my hopes up, and I've been on a few dates with other girls since, but I've not really been interested, and not sure if this is good or bad.
I get the idea she likes me too and isn't just after sex, but I don't know. I'm excited and nervous as hell at the same time.
Thoughts?
Perhaps I'm turning into a proper sad b
d! 
It feels totally different to anything I've felt since I was with my ex wife 4 years ago. I've been in small relationships (albeit very fun ones) but nothing I've really cared about when it stopped. I don't want to get my hopes up, and I've been on a few dates with other girls since, but I've not really been interested, and not sure if this is good or bad.
I get the idea she likes me too and isn't just after sex, but I don't know. I'm excited and nervous as hell at the same time.
Thoughts?
Perhaps I'm turning into a proper sad b
d! Pebbles167 said:
I've been dating a girl i met on POF for about a month and to my surprise I have genuinely developed some pretty strong feelings for her.
It feels totally different to anything I've felt since I was with my ex wife 4 years ago. I've been in small relationships (albeit very fun ones) but nothing I've really cared about when it stopped. I don't want to get my hopes up, and I've been on a few dates with other girls since, but I've not really been interested, and not sure if this is good or bad.
I get the idea she likes me too and isn't just after sex, but I don't know. I'm excited and nervous as hell at the same time.
Thoughts?
Perhaps I'm turning into a proper sad bd!
Keep her chappin! Don't come on too strong...It feels totally different to anything I've felt since I was with my ex wife 4 years ago. I've been in small relationships (albeit very fun ones) but nothing I've really cared about when it stopped. I don't want to get my hopes up, and I've been on a few dates with other girls since, but I've not really been interested, and not sure if this is good or bad.
I get the idea she likes me too and isn't just after sex, but I don't know. I'm excited and nervous as hell at the same time.
Thoughts?
Perhaps I'm turning into a proper sad b
d! johnwilliams77 said:
Pebbles167 said:
I've been dating a girl i met on POF for about a month and to my surprise I have genuinely developed some pretty strong feelings for her.
It feels totally different to anything I've felt since I was with my ex wife 4 years ago. I've been in small relationships (albeit very fun ones) but nothing I've really cared about when it stopped. I don't want to get my hopes up, and I've been on a few dates with other girls since, but I've not really been interested, and not sure if this is good or bad.
I get the idea she likes me too and isn't just after sex, but I don't know. I'm excited and nervous as hell at the same time.
Thoughts?
Perhaps I'm turning into a proper sad bd!
Keep her chappin! Don't come on too strong...It feels totally different to anything I've felt since I was with my ex wife 4 years ago. I've been in small relationships (albeit very fun ones) but nothing I've really cared about when it stopped. I don't want to get my hopes up, and I've been on a few dates with other girls since, but I've not really been interested, and not sure if this is good or bad.
I get the idea she likes me too and isn't just after sex, but I don't know. I'm excited and nervous as hell at the same time.
Thoughts?
Perhaps I'm turning into a proper sad b
d! Gretchen said:
And possibly consider stop dating others. If anything develops not sure, if it were me, she'd be happy to discover this.
Yeah it was just a drink with a couple of girls I'd been chatting to. Not sure if I'd have let it go anywhere anyway. That said i thnk she's probably still dating others. At least I've seen her online on POF. I wouldn't have a problem if she was, we're not going out of course, but for once i actually have feelings for someone, and it actually scares me a bit not knowing if she sees me as just a fun date or a potential partner.
The temptation to bail and stick to what i know is surprisingly strong.
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