Match.com (Volume 6)

[Pebbles167]

There's some sense in that 2cv. Sounds about right.

JimmyConwayNW said:

I am much better at talking to girls in person than online. I am dreadful at online small talk with girls on Tinder etc.

Find it really hard to drag out a conversation, I think I am pretty boring I just work and look at cars ffs haha

I know what you mean, i find this especially true if I've recently come out of something, the small talk all seems false.

I send a handful of messages over a couple of days, and if the conversation is still in the least bit interesting I'll try arrange a date. If they don't want to, I usually stop the conversation there. It's worked fine for me so far, and I'm much more enthusiastic about chatting in person and the date usually goes well.

[JimmyConwayNW]

Conversion from match, chat , in person and knocking boots is that hard bit.

If I meet them in person they will mostly like me. Its just getting that far.

Must be a lot of guys who are great at the online bit and then it goes to st when they meet up with the girl in person.

Went on a couple of dates recently having been in a long relationship and was amazed at how nervous I was before hand. Almost bottled it outside the place we agreed to meet.

[Shore]

Texting a girl at the moment and have been the last few weeks. We still haven't met and something tells me that our texting will dry up soon. These dating sites are excellent for texting buddies but when you are on there to find a lady it gets frustrating.

[Pebbles167]

Shore said:

Texting a girl at the moment and have been the last few weeks. We still haven't met and something tells me that our texting will dry up soon. These dating sites are excellent for texting buddies but when you are on there to find a lady it gets frustrating.

Why not just ask if she fancies going for a drink? Ask what she's doing at the weekend, if she's free, see what she says. If she's busy, ask if she'd be interested some other time.

You really do have nothing to lose. And even if you make a hash of the delivery, it's better than a dead conversation. She'll probably say yes and you'll feel pretty good. Ifvshe does say no, be polite, say bye and move on to someone else.

[Blown2CV]

Shore said:

Texting a girl at the moment and have been the last few weeks. We still haven't met and something tells me that our texting will dry up soon. These dating sites are excellent for texting buddies but when you are on there to find a lady it gets frustrating.

are you waiting for her to suggest it? If so, that's where you are going wrong. 2 days texting MAXIMUM and then either get the date in the diary, no more than a couple of days ahead, or sack it off and move on.

[Vyse]

So when is it OK to try and date a work colleague?

Some background info. Me and her work in separate departments in separate buildings. We both have no authority other each other. Sometimes I can go a whole month without seeing her once. The company I work for is small, about 25 people.

Should I go for it?

[Trabi601]

Vyse said:

So when is it OK to try and date a work colleague?

Some background info. Me and her work in separate departments in separate buildings. We both have no authority other each other. Sometimes I can go a whole month without seeing her once. The company I work for is small, about 25 people.

Should I go for it?

No. It's too small a company to be messing around like that.

[Pebbles167]

I would do it, if its clear you like eachother. That said, I've never worked in that environment.

I'd imagine a lot of what you get up to, and the possible split in the future would become talk of the office though.

[CharlesdeGaulle]

Pebbles167 said:

I'd imagine a lot of what you get up to, and the possible split in the future would become talk of the office though.

What difference does this make? Life's too short to worry about that sort of trivia.

Ask her out. Not doing so because you met at work - which is where lots of people meet - would be daft.

[Trabi601]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

Pebbles167 said:

I'd imagine a lot of what you get up to, and the possible split in the future would become talk of the office though.

What difference does this make? Life's too short to worry about that sort of trivia.

Ask her out. Not doing so because you met at work - which is where lots of people meet - would be daft.

It may be fine in a big company - but no matter what the outcome of the situation, it would get around the company like wildfire and may restrict future projects / job roles.

[Pebbles167]

I said I'd go for it, and was just voicing what would be a minor concern of mine.

Edited by Pebbles167 on Thursday 9th February 20:54

[Blown2CV]

Vyse said:

So when is it OK to try and date a work colleague?

Some background info. Me and her work in separate departments in separate buildings. We both have no authority other each other. Sometimes I can go a whole month without seeing her once. The company I work for is small, about 25 people.

Should I go for it?

maybe not thought through why this is a bad idea! It isn't really about whether it will be awkward between you if it doesn't work out. She works with all the people you work with, and she may decide to use this against you if things don't go well. I wouldn't risk my career by gambling that some female colleague isn't nasty/mental. In any case women you work with become more attractive over time, so she probably isn't as attractive as you think she is just because you've been in proximity for a while.

[Vyse]

Hi, could you expand on the future projects/job roles bit please.

Because my company is small, there literally is no room for progression. There are two levels in my work place, managers Tier 1 and then workers Tier 2. If I were to progress in my career it would mean leaving the company. BTW we are both tier 2.

edit.

This is a new situation for me and Ive been thinking about it for a couple months now. Want to get it off my chest.

Trabi601 said:

It may be fine in a big company - but no matter what the outcome of the situation, it would get around the company like wildfire and may restrict future projects / job roles.

[Trabi601]

Vyse said:

Hi, could you expand on the future projects/job roles bit please.

Because my company is small, there literally is no room for progression. There are two levels in my work place, managers Tier 1 and then workers Tier 2. If I were to progress in my career it would mean leaving the company. BTW we are both tier 2.

edit.

This is a new situation for me and Ive been thinking about it for a couple months now. Want to get it off my chest.

Trabi601 said:

It may be fine in a big company - but no matter what the outcome of the situation, it would get around the company like wildfire and may restrict future projects / job roles.

So you can never be 'Tier 1'?

What if one of you wants a move sideways?

Are the departments so different there could never be any cross-functional working?

[Sir Lord Poopie]

Shore said:

Texting a girl at the moment and have been the last few weeks. We still haven't met

I'm hardly qualified in this department but isn't the objective to arrange meetup or arrange a 'date' off the cuff? Not sure i'd bother texting more than to say hi, and ask them out - certainly wouldn't bother texting for two bloody weeks.

[Pulse]

CharlesdeGaulle said:

What difference does this make? Life's too short to worry about that sort of trivia.

Ask her out. Not doing so because you met at work - which is where lots of people meet - would be daft.

Seriously, you bunch of mentalists, only CdG manages to speak any sense?

Ask her out.

[Blown2CV]

Here's what i think. When i was dating i'd want to work out whether a girl is mental or dangerous first before i let her anywhere near my actual life, as such. I wouldn't even acknowledge a new date on facebook or whatever. There is an extended trial period... and the fact is that many singles are singles for a reason. In this case you know nothing about her (let's be honest - nothing at all - you may think you do because you work with her, but you know nothing about what she is like in real life) and she's already inside one of the most important parts of your life: your workplace. She has direct links to people that determine whether you get promoted or sacked. She may even have a better relationship with them than you do. If you went on a date and it didn't work out, she could really damage you. It's not that you've let her in - she is already in. Yes it might work out fine, but equally you might not get ill from stting right next to your kitchen utensils, but why would you do that. Just go and st in the toilet for fks sake and leave your kitchen out of this.

There are certain people on here that will give "yea smash it wahay, do it you pussy" answers to basically any of the should i/shouldn't i questions that come up, but they aren't the ones trying to explain to their boss and to HR that contrary to popular belief in the office, you don't actually insist on having girls piss in your mouth on a first date, or whatever she's decided to tell everyone.

Anyway do what you fking like. You asked because you clearly weren't sure so ask yourself where that doubt came from.

[cheddar]

Blown2CV said:

they aren't the ones trying to explain to their boss and to HR that contrary to popular belief in the office, you don't actually insist on having girls piss in your mouth on a first date

Never on the first date.

[Steve vRS]

cheddar said:

Blown2CV said:

they aren't the ones trying to explain to their boss and to HR that contrary to popular belief in the office, you don't actually insist on having girls piss in your mouth on a first date

Never on the first date.

Well not in the cinema anyway.

[Pebbles167]

Steve vRS said:

cheddar said:

Blown2CV said:

they aren't the ones trying to explain to their boss and to HR that contrary to popular belief in the office, you don't actually insist on having girls piss in your mouth on a first date

Never on the first date.

Well not in the cinema anyway.

Maybe in the cinema, but not during a Saturday morning showing of the latest Disney movie.