Match.com (Volume 6)

[Matt UK]

Maybe it's just me, but I'd be using the dinner date meet to get my things back left over there. Suggest you pick her up from hers.

[Shore]

Marc p said:

So, update, managed to do a flip reverse on this, took advice which in a nutshell is stop caring and make yourself unavailable, so after my last message on the Thursday, I just left it, no contact, she eventually came back with several messages of apology on Saturday, I left it a few hours and dropped back a positive but closed response and kept it like this over the weekend, not answering messages for hours and not picking up calls(I was genuinely busy all weekend though so that helped). So to wrap it all up, she wants to go out for dinner on Tuesday and says she'll pay for it

She is a waste of time. Time to start posting things on her Facebook wall I'm afraid. Tell her you will go for the meal and then don't turn up. When she chases you just say "I am gay".

[davek_964]

Had my date on Sunday evening, which is the second person I've seen since joining POF a couple of weeks ago.

Gorgeous lady - she looked even better than the photos, and lovely company. We seemed to have very similar views on many things and I came away a little smitten. Having dinner on Wednesday evening, and hope it goes as well.

[Marc p]

Cold said:

That's great. Now, both of you knock your heads together and stop playing frikkin' games.

Don't intend to play games and to be fair her excuse for not contacting me for 2 or 3 days was a valid one, so it probably left me in a good light that I backed off and gave her space for it. I should of just followed earlier advice and slowed it down earlier, I just came on too strong, I have a busy month this month with trips and starting a new job so I can't see her that much anyway.

Shore said:

She is a waste of time. Time to start posting things on her Facebook wall I'm afraid. Tell her you will go for the meal and then don't turn up. When she chases you just say "I am gay".

I'm guessing I need a parrot here?

[bigandclever]

Marc p said:

Well, update on mine, the first 3 weeks were fantastic, we had a great time every time we met, conversation flowed and we texted back and forth every day.

Then, since Monday she has gone very distant, not really texting back (haven't heard from her in the past 24 hours), last message I got was yesterday morning, I sent her a message yesterday lunchtime and followed up with another in the evening asking if she wanted to do something this weekend, think I should just leave it now.

So one week in four she's gone a bit weird? Don't they all do that?

[sonnenschein3000]

I had originally messaged this girl on eHarmony at the end of Feb and the conversation ground to a halt pretty quickly. I thought nothing more of it at the time and I got busy with work (had to fly abroad) so I didn't really use eH much for a period of time. My last message to her was regarding moving over to whatsapp (which I admit was a bit quick considering we only exchanged about 20 messages on there in total), so I sort of understood why she didn't want to reply.

Anyway, I randomly decided to half-arsedly say "hi" to her at the start of this month (so basically 2 months later), and to my surprise she gave me her whatsapp number.

Since then I've found that we get on like a house on fire (in a good way). I must have spent a total of 6 hours on the phone with her plus constant whatsapp conversation during the course of the weekend and it all looks amazing. I'm due to meet her this coming Saturday.

However it came up in conversation that, she said "technically I was seeing someone in April" which got me thinking that;

1) This is after the time our convo grinded to a halt, and if she went to the level of 'seeing' this person in April, then the build up must have happened before that time, most probably March. She also told me that she only signed up to eHarmony in February (in a separate discussion). The person she was seeing was off eHarmony

2) Why on earth would she tell me all this?!

Anyway, my concern from this is if I am merely a rebound from the 'seeing' that she's just gotten out of, and if she'll either a) get back with him or b) find someone else, using me as a temporary fill (pun not intended) until that time.

[stewies_minion]

I'd not overthink it.

Get on and meet up. Could be magical.

[sc0tt]

sonnenschein3000 said:

Anyway, my concern from this is if I am merely a rebound from the 'seeing' that she's just gotten out of, and if she'll either a) get back with him or b) find someone else, using me as a temporary fill (pun not intended) until that time.

Maybe you are or maybe you aren't. How will you know unless you give it a try.

Oh and don't come across this needy in real life.

[sonnenschein3000]

Its just that i've been messed around before, so I'm probably unduly suspicious from now on.

Yeah I'll have to play it by ear I guess

Thanks

[jogger1976]

Well, I've finally decided to give up online dating after several attempts spread out over almost 5 years
I've tried them all, and have had no luck whatsoever. Not one solitary date.
I've also decided to give up actively looking for anyone in the real world after putting in a lot of groundwork in with several women and getting nothing back in return.
I won't say I've resigned myself to being single forever, but I'm pretty close.

[Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah]

Marc p said:

So, update, managed to do a flip reverse on this, took advice which in a nutshell is stop caring and make yourself unavailable, so after my last message on the Thursday, I just left it, no contact, she eventually came back with several messages of apology on Saturday, I left it a few hours and dropped back a positive but closed response and kept it like this over the weekend, not answering messages for hours and not picking up calls(I was genuinely busy all weekend though so that helped). So to wrap it all up, she wants to go out for dinner on Tuesday and says she'll pay for it

I'm convinced there is some truth in 'treat them mean keep them keen', without simply being a dick. When Sarah and I were first dating/ getting to know each other I'd deliberately not look at her texts for a while (read receipt knowing you're jumping on them) and would wait a while (say an hour) before replying. No girl wants a lap dog.
All the same, well done.

[Fermit The Krog and Sexy Sarah]

sonnenschein3000 said:

I had originally messaged this girl on eHarmony at the end of Feb and the conversation ground to a halt pretty quickly. I thought nothing more of it at the time and I got busy with work (had to fly abroad) so I didn't really use eH much for a period of time. My last message to her was regarding moving over to whatsapp (which I admit was a bit quick considering we only exchanged about 20 messages on there in total), so I sort of understood why she didn't want to reply.

Anyway, I randomly decided to half-arsedly say "hi" to her at the start of this month (so basically 2 months later), and to my surprise she gave me her whatsapp number.

Since then I've found that we get on like a house on fire (in a good way). I must have spent a total of 6 hours on the phone with her plus constant whatsapp conversation during the course of the weekend and it all looks amazing. I'm due to meet her this coming Saturday.

However it came up in conversation that, she said "technically I was seeing someone in April" which got me thinking that;

1) This is after the time our convo grinded to a halt, and if she went to the level of 'seeing' this person in April, then the build up must have happened before that time, most probably March. She also told me that she only signed up to eHarmony in February (in a separate discussion). The person she was seeing was off eHarmony

2) Why on earth would she tell me all this?!

Anyway, my concern from this is if I am merely a rebound from the 'seeing' that she's just gotten out of, and if she'll either a) get back with him or b) find someone else, using me as a temporary fill (pun not intended) until that time.

Maybe she just believes in being transparent. When on Match and the like most have 'more than one iron in the fire', for want of a better expression. I'm not talking about shagging multiples at the same time, I'm referring to chatting to various, arranging dates, etc. Some come to fruition, some don't.

[davek_964]

I had a second date Wednesday, but it felt like I was doing all the work so no 3rd date was agreed.

Had a date with somebody else I'd been chatting to - very attractive, definitely my type - but personality wise didn't feel it was what I'm looking for. She was fairly keen, but I don't plan to see her again.

So at the weekend, I started again - began to chat to a lovely lady on Saturday night and met for coffee Sunday morning. Was a nice time, plenty to talk about - so we're planning to meet again on Friday evening. There were a couple of other ladies I exchanged messages with - one of whom I was surprised replied, since she was quite stunning in her pictures - but whether they will progress to anything in the future who knows.

I'm still not convinced how long I'll stay on the site - think I will be more interested after summer - but when you decide not to see somebody again, it's hard not to window shop and think : Hmm, wonder if she'd like a date......

At the very least, the first girl I met is back from holiday and we exchanged a few messages over the weekend so if nothing else, it's nice to have made a friend - and one where we can swap dating stories!

[petrolbloke]

bigandclever said:

So one week in four she's gone a bit weird? Don't they all do that?

I've fairly recently come out of a long relationship and started seeing someone else not long after. Had been seeing each other for a few weeks and then aunt flo visited at the end of last week. Saturday morning she had a bit of a meltdown and told me she wanted to cool things off and now she wants to talk to me again. Definite signs of "the mental"... we'll see what happens.

[Jonathanm5550]

I'm thinking of trying some online dating but with some trepidation.

What advice would you guys suggest in regards what to put on my profile ?

I'm no Brad Pitt but not Quassi Modo either.

Any suggestions as to which sites are "best" ?

I might post a journal of my adventures 🙂

[petrolbloke]

Jonathanm5550 said:

I'm thinking of trying some online dating but with some trepidation.

What advice would you guys suggest in regards what to put on my profile ?

I'm no Brad Pitt but not Quassi Modo either.

Any suggestions as to which sites are "best" ?

I might post a journal of my adventures ??

I used OKCupid a few years back. PoF wasn't so good. Not sure what they're like now. Other than that Tinder is worth a go. Tinder is a bit more casual and my advice would be to keep your bio short on there and have 4+ interesting pictures. Don't be too choosy on there - swipe first, read later! If you Google 'tinder bio' you'll find all sorts - have a skim through and go with what you think is a good fit for you. I wouldn't list things like job, kids, previous relationship/marriage in a tinder bio, but maybe on OKCupid.

Of the paid sites I'd probably try eHarmony, but I'd try the free ones first if you haven't already.

Good luck!

[overunder12g]

Well guys, as that seems to be to majority here. I have been married for 40 years
( I was 11 when we married) Not true obviously.
When I read this thread I cannot believe how traumatic this mating game has become. Some posts read like speccing a car! Must have .....etc etc.
Do you guys ever meet real people in real non on line life?
I may be totally out of touch as to how things are these days, but, if that is so, then I can only rejoice.
My wife and I met in a real life situation, courted, (strange, I know) Married, had kids, both now adult and fantastic adults.
Daughter getting married this year, so, repeat formula I guess.
Seriously, I feel for you guys, everything seems so more difficult for you.
Maybe get off this internet thing and go and meet real people and relate to real people?
Observation over..... Awaits flaming

Anyway good luck guys and ladies. .

[Bluesgirl]

So, having written about the trials and tribulations of online dating and resigned myself to being in a permanent state of singledom, I'd decided to ease up on the messaging, check for messages weekly rather than daily and just give it a rest. At which point I get into a long-running chat with a guy who's really interesting, very intelligent, funny and doesn't exhibit any psychotic tendencies. (I'm already suspicious...)

But, moving forward 6-8 weeks, we're chatting and texting every day, we've met up about 8 times and every time I like him even more than I did last time. (This is coming from Mrs Cautious-the-Sceptic.) He's a really lovely guy, we get on like a house on fire and even the silences don't feel awkward. Apparently, the site says we're a 93% match, although I pay no attention to the figures, he does.

Goodness knows where this will go. It could all be over as quickly as it started, but, for the time being, I'm smitten. And just when I least expected it.

[Robertj21a]

overunder12g said:

Well guys, as that seems to be to majority here. I have been married for 40 years
( I was 11 when we married) Not true obviously.
When I read this thread I cannot believe how traumatic this mating game has become. Some posts read like speccing a car! Must have .....etc etc.
Do you guys ever meet real people in real non on line life?
I may be totally out of touch as to how things are these days, but, if that is so, then I can only rejoice.
My wife and I met in a real life situation, courted, (strange, I know) Married, had kids, both now adult and fantastic adults.
Daughter getting married this year, so, repeat formula I guess.
Seriously, I feel for you guys, everything seems so more difficult for you.
Maybe get off this internet thing and go and meet real people and relate to real people?
Observation over..... Awaits flaming

Anyway good luck guys and ladies. .

Delighted to read that there's one 'normal' on here - I was beginning to wonder !

As mentioned, get off the keyboard and get out to the pub/gym/club.........

[Jobbo]

FrankAbagnale said:

Is match.com generally for a more mature crowd?

I am single at 31 and feel a bit old for tinder/bumble but too young for match.com - is my perception skewed?

I don't think I will join just yet, as want to be single for summer but will look onwards to finding some company for the winter months!

A bit old for Tinder? Just set the age range you're contacting appropriately. There are plenty of people of all ages on it.