Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Robertj21a said:
overunder12g said:
Well guys, as that seems to be to majority here. I have been married for 40 years
( I was 11 when we married) Not true obviously...
Maybe get off this internet thing and go and meet real people and relate to real people?
Observation over..... Awaits flaming
Anyway good luck guys and ladies. .
Delighted to read that there's one 'normal' on here - I was beginning to wonder !( I was 11 when we married) Not true obviously...
Maybe get off this internet thing and go and meet real people and relate to real people?
Observation over..... Awaits flaming
Anyway good luck guys and ladies. .
As mentioned, get off the keyboard and get out to the pub/gym/club.........
FrankAbagnale said:
- is my perception skewed?
Yes. I was on Tinder and found it OK. (I'm quite a bit older than you.) Match.com was annoying because suddenly the number of matches/messages increases at precisely the time your subscription is about to expire. OK Cupid was OK and free. I think on any of the sites, your location is more relevant to the number of potential matches than the age range you're looking at.Robertj21a said:
overunder12g said:
Well guys, as that seems to be to majority here. I have been married for 40 years
( I was 11 when we married) Not true obviously.
When I read this thread I cannot believe how traumatic this mating game has become. Some posts read like speccing a car! Must have .....etc etc.
Do you guys ever meet real people in real non on line life?
I may be totally out of touch as to how things are these days, but, if that is so, then I can only rejoice.
My wife and I met in a real life situation, courted, (strange, I know) Married, had kids, both now adult and fantastic adults.
Daughter getting married this year, so, repeat formula I guess.
Seriously, I feel for you guys, everything seems so more difficult for you.
Maybe get off this internet thing and go and meet real people and relate to real people?
Observation over..... Awaits flaming
Anyway good luck guys and ladies. .
Delighted to read that there's one 'normal' on here - I was beginning to wonder !( I was 11 when we married) Not true obviously.
When I read this thread I cannot believe how traumatic this mating game has become. Some posts read like speccing a car! Must have .....etc etc.
Do you guys ever meet real people in real non on line life?
I may be totally out of touch as to how things are these days, but, if that is so, then I can only rejoice.
My wife and I met in a real life situation, courted, (strange, I know) Married, had kids, both now adult and fantastic adults.
Daughter getting married this year, so, repeat formula I guess.
Seriously, I feel for you guys, everything seems so more difficult for you.
Maybe get off this internet thing and go and meet real people and relate to real people?
Observation over..... Awaits flaming
Anyway good luck guys and ladies. .
As mentioned, get off the keyboard and get out to the pub/gym/club.........
The actual 'dating' part plays out exactly the same as it would with any other kind of introduction, you are still meeting up with real people in 'real life'!
Am I missing something?
Do people really have much success hitting on others trying to go about their workout at the gym?!
I go to the gym a lot and there are quite few ladies who I'd wouldn't mind having a date with.
However - I'm sure it probably does happen but putting myself in their shoes would they want to be asked out on a date when they are in the middle of a workout ?
If they said no it would be kinda awkward when you're both on the same routines.
I suppose the one benefit of a dating site (specially a paid one) is that at least in theory the ladies or guys are single and looking to meet someone.
It's always a bit of a minefield figuring that out when out and about.
However - I'm sure it probably does happen but putting myself in their shoes would they want to be asked out on a date when they are in the middle of a workout ?
If they said no it would be kinda awkward when you're both on the same routines.
I suppose the one benefit of a dating site (specially a paid one) is that at least in theory the ladies or guys are single and looking to meet someone.
It's always a bit of a minefield figuring that out when out and about.
Robertj21a said:
Delighted to read that there's one 'normal' on here - I was beginning to wonder !
As mentioned, get off the keyboard and get out to the pub/gym/club.........
Yep, narrow that pool of potential dates right down to just those at your local pub/gym/club- remove the cruel agony of choice!As mentioned, get off the keyboard and get out to the pub/gym/club.........
Having significantly less choice is always a good thing right? Autotrader & Pistonheads with their vast classifieds sections are such a minefield when looking for a car- it makes much more sense to get off the keyboard and get down to the local second-hand car trader and simply choose something out of whatever they happen to have on their forecourt...
joking/notjoking
Squirrelofwoe said:
Am I missing something?
Do people really have much success hitting on others trying to go about their workout at the gym?!
No you're absolutely right. I was writing out the same reply earlier as it seems like such a basic misunderstanding of what 'online dating' is.Do people really have much success hitting on others trying to go about their workout at the gym?!
I doubt it.
I haven't got tinder yet. I dunno what is stopping me.
Bluesgirl said:
I have visions of Luther the Lothario checking himself out in the mirror, before strolling casually past the cross-trainers, checking out today's potential 'hits'. Later, he'll splash on some "Beckham Manly" after-shave, before popping into the pub on his way to the chip shop. 
before hopping into his XR3i and gunning home to watch only fools and horses.It's 2017 ffs, online dating is a perfectly acceptable way to meet people...christ, two of my colleagues even met their wives on tinder.
overunder12g said:
Well guys, as that seems to be to majority here. I have been married for 40 years
( I was 11 when we married) Not true obviously.
When I read this thread I cannot believe how traumatic this mating game has become. Some posts read like speccing a car! Must have .....etc etc.
Do you guys ever meet real people in real non on line life?
I may be totally out of touch as to how things are these days, but, if that is so, then I can only rejoice.
My wife and I met in a real life situation, courted, (strange, I know) Married, had kids, both now adult and fantastic adults.
Daughter getting married this year, so, repeat formula I guess.
Seriously, I feel for you guys, everything seems so more difficult for you.
Maybe get off this internet thing and go and meet real people and relate to real people?
Observation over..... Awaits flaming
Anyway good luck guys and ladies. .
As others have said, the online thing is simply a way of meeting people. Especially when you get to the kind of age I'm at, meeting people socially doesn't happen much - friends are married with kids etc.( I was 11 when we married) Not true obviously.
When I read this thread I cannot believe how traumatic this mating game has become. Some posts read like speccing a car! Must have .....etc etc.
Do you guys ever meet real people in real non on line life?
I may be totally out of touch as to how things are these days, but, if that is so, then I can only rejoice.
My wife and I met in a real life situation, courted, (strange, I know) Married, had kids, both now adult and fantastic adults.
Daughter getting married this year, so, repeat formula I guess.
Seriously, I feel for you guys, everything seems so more difficult for you.
Maybe get off this internet thing and go and meet real people and relate to real people?
Observation over..... Awaits flaming
Anyway good luck guys and ladies. .
As I've said on this thread, when I joined the site I was shocked at some of the profiles - Brad Pitt wouldn't get a look in. Some of the ladies have a fairly high opinion of themselves and what they deserve (I daresay men are the same) but then, I wouldn't want to date them anyway and there are plenty of others which are more appealing.
This is probably about the 5th time I've used a dating site over the past ~15 years and I've always found them a positive experience. Had plenty of dates - 99% of which were pleasant, even if it went no further. If you chose to, you could absolutely sleep with a different person every week - and I imagine that's why some people are on there.
I do think it's slightly different from meeting somebody naturally though. For one, your pool of competition is a lot more active - virtually all women on there are bombarded with messages and even if 90% of them are "do you want sex?" there is still a lot of choices for them. Having said that, once I've got properly chatting to somebody and met them, it usually goes fairly positively after that. I think being able to string a half sensible sentence together helps a lot.
The other thing is that I think expectations are far more when you meet somebody on a dating site. You have both made a positive decision that you want to be in a relationship, and I think that makes you a bit more critical than you might usually be.
designforlife said:
can't remember said:
designforlife said:
.christ, two of my colleagues even met their wives on tinder.
Did it result in two divorces?can't remember said:
Well if I found my wife on Tinder I would be in trouble for being on Tinder as would she. It would suggest our marriage had a couple of issues.
Very droll hehe.I do think there is still a bit of a stigma over meeting a genuine partner on Tinder as opposed to the more traditional web based online dating sites though.
My partner and I met on Tinder and this has been met with some suprise by our peers, not least on our part (if you've used it you'll know why).
Almost everybody I know that is single is on tinder, as well as in the pub, gym, club etc etc. There isn't a "designed for tinder" demographic and a "exclusively available in the pub/club/gym" collection. (that is weird to hit on people at the gym by the way)
Similarly you can only be in one pub/club/gym at once.
Closing off the idea of going online to leave your matches to the preserve of only those you meet in person is narrowing the field massively, and those same singletons in these venues probably have a profile anyway.
Similarly you can only be in one pub/club/gym at once.
Closing off the idea of going online to leave your matches to the preserve of only those you meet in person is narrowing the field massively, and those same singletons in these venues probably have a profile anyway.
Squirrelofwoe said:
Yep, narrow that pool...- remove the cruel agony of choice!
Having significantly less choice is always a good thing right? Autotrader & Pistonheads with their vast classifieds sections are such a minefield when looking for a car- it makes much more sense to get off the keyboard and get down to the local second-hand car trader and simply choose something out of whatever they happen to have on their forecourt...
You've just described exactly how I bought 3 of my last 5 cars, over the last 7 years! The 3 in question have come from the local cheap-as-chips banger retailer. It *does* actually help to have less choice. Having thousands to choose from increases the chance of "paralysis by analysis" and of being trapped in "a better version for less money around the corner". Having significantly less choice is always a good thing right? Autotrader & Pistonheads with their vast classifieds sections are such a minefield when looking for a car- it makes much more sense to get off the keyboard and get down to the local second-hand car trader and simply choose something out of whatever they happen to have on their forecourt...
The same thing has indeed been reported by people using dating sites; it is so easy to "swipe left" that you develop unrealistic expectations. "Oh no, I'm not dating someone who wears glasses like that" and you swipe on. If you met the person in question at a friend's house then the glasses/hair colour/big nose wouldn't even be a factor.
battered said:
Squirrelofwoe said:
Yep, narrow that pool...- remove the cruel agony of choice!
Having significantly less choice is always a good thing right? Autotrader & Pistonheads with their vast classifieds sections are such a minefield when looking for a car- it makes much more sense to get off the keyboard and get down to the local second-hand car trader and simply choose something out of whatever they happen to have on their forecourt...
You've just described exactly how I bought 3 of my last 5 cars, over the last 7 years! The 3 in question have come from the local cheap-as-chips banger retailer. It *does* actually help to have less choice. Having thousands to choose from increases the chance of "paralysis by analysis" and of being trapped in "a better version for less money around the corner". Having significantly less choice is always a good thing right? Autotrader & Pistonheads with their vast classifieds sections are such a minefield when looking for a car- it makes much more sense to get off the keyboard and get down to the local second-hand car trader and simply choose something out of whatever they happen to have on their forecourt...
The same thing has indeed been reported by people using dating sites; it is so easy to "swipe left" that you develop unrealistic expectations. "Oh no, I'm not dating someone who wears glasses like that" and you swipe on. If you met the person in question at a friend's house then the glasses/hair colour/big nose wouldn't even be a factor.
There is an excellent Waitbutwhy article (2 parts) on 'choosing a life partner' that goes into a lot of detail about the subject of how little effort people often put into looking (the idea that of all the potential suitable candidates on the planet, the person who someone decides is perfect for them just so happens to live down the road...)- a very interesting read.
article said:
In a study on what governs our dating choices more, our preferences or our current opportunities, opportunities wins hands down—our dating choices are “98% a response…to market conditions and just 2% immutable desires. Proposals to date tall, short, fat, thin, professional, clerical, educated, uneducated people are all more than nine-tenths governed by what’s on offer that night.”
In other words, people end up picking from whatever pool of options they have, no matter how poorly matched they might be to those candidates. The obvious conclusion to draw here is that outside of serious socialites, everyone looking for a life partner should be doing a lot of online dating, speed dating, and other systems created to broaden the candidate pool in an intelligent way.
But good old society frowns upon that, and people are often still timid to say they met their spouse on a dating site. The respectable way to meet a life partner is by dumb luck, by bumping into them randomly or being introduced to them from within your little pool. Fortunately, this stigma is diminishing with time, but that it’s there at all is a reflection of how illogical the socially accepted dating rulebook is.
http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.htmlIn other words, people end up picking from whatever pool of options they have, no matter how poorly matched they might be to those candidates. The obvious conclusion to draw here is that outside of serious socialites, everyone looking for a life partner should be doing a lot of online dating, speed dating, and other systems created to broaden the candidate pool in an intelligent way.
But good old society frowns upon that, and people are often still timid to say they met their spouse on a dating site. The respectable way to meet a life partner is by dumb luck, by bumping into them randomly or being introduced to them from within your little pool. Fortunately, this stigma is diminishing with time, but that it’s there at all is a reflection of how illogical the socially accepted dating rulebook is.
Gym is very much a no-no for me.
People are there to train, not get hit on. Just weird.
That being said, getting chatting to someone where there is a mutual attraction can happen anywhere, gym included. It's more the going there for the purpose of scouting the talent that's odd.
As for Tinder, i don't get the hang ups. It's whatever you want it to be, just like any other option.
Met my now wife on Tinder 3 years ago and couldn't be happier.
People are there to train, not get hit on. Just weird.
That being said, getting chatting to someone where there is a mutual attraction can happen anywhere, gym included. It's more the going there for the purpose of scouting the talent that's odd.
As for Tinder, i don't get the hang ups. It's whatever you want it to be, just like any other option.
Met my now wife on Tinder 3 years ago and couldn't be happier.
Johnny said:
Gym is very much a no-no for me.
People are there to train, not get hit on. Just weird.
That being said, getting chatting to someone where there is a mutual attraction can happen anywhere, gym included. It's more the going there for the purpose of scouting the talent that's odd.
As for Tinder, i don't get the hang ups. It's whatever you want it to be, just like any other option.
Met my now wife on Tinder 3 years ago and couldn't be happier.
The gym was just a suggestion (there were others!). My point was directed at those who seem to think that the *only* way of meeting others is through a keyboard.People are there to train, not get hit on. Just weird.
That being said, getting chatting to someone where there is a mutual attraction can happen anywhere, gym included. It's more the going there for the purpose of scouting the talent that's odd.
As for Tinder, i don't get the hang ups. It's whatever you want it to be, just like any other option.
Met my now wife on Tinder 3 years ago and couldn't be happier.
I've had some interesting conversations at the gym, why not? If you go there with the aim of hitting on someone, then yes, that's weird, the same as it would be if you went at it with a purpose at work, a club, or with friends. However if you are just chatting to people as you go, then it's not a problem. The last gym I went to I used to take the mick out of people I knew through work, have a laugh with a few others and take training tips/get into minor competitions with others as the mood took me. Men and women alike, it's just social interaction. As the old gag has it, if you are going to flirt at work or anywhere else, then flirt with everyone, young and old. If you only flirt with the young women, you're a dirty old man at best and possibly guilty of harassment. If you flirt with the pretty young things and also the 20 stone 55 year old cleaners and everyone in between then that's just the way that you are, it doesn't mean anything.
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