Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Chemical Chaos - stick with it, but if I were you I'd avoid the 'fast' dating sites that have cropped up, with respect they're not for you, and they weren't for me either. Until my mid 20's I was the perfect blend between Will from the Inbetweeners and Harry Potter - I almost think if I was going through school/college now I'd almost have a cool factor thanks to those two! Places like Match allow you to meet people that normally you'd have no chance of striking up a conversation with from the comfort of home. Now you've changed your profile I know you need Match and Guardian Soulmates, people who'll take time to read about you as a person, not just a face. The proof is in the pudding, this was me a year ago today, 7 months after meeting on Match -
Petrus1983 said:
hornetrider said:
The mental hasn't even had time to emerge. Oh dear.
I give it 12 months.
It was our first anniversary yesterday I give it 12 months.
the only thing a year later is that I'm even more sure I married the perfect girl for me.Edited by Petrus1983 on Monday 12th January 09:12
lemmingjames said:
Your forgetting the kid and clothes story though arent you :wink:
I didn't say it was all plain sailing!! We've managed to get through living in New York, 2 places in Texas, 2 places in the UK, a baby being accidently born in the wrong country and a massive visa f**k up which only recently resolved (thanks in part to massive help from a PHer) - hopefully our 2nd year will be much more relaxing, but atleast it's shown what we can get through!!Petrus1983 said:
lemmingjames said:
Your forgetting the kid and clothes story though arent you :wink:
I didn't say it was all plain sailing!! We've managed to get through living in New York, 2 places in Texas, 2 places in the UK, a baby being accidently born in the wrong country and a massive visa f**k up which only recently resolved (thanks in part to massive help from a PHer) - hopefully our 2nd year will be much more relaxing, but atleast it's shown what we can get through!!NinjaPower said:
I have never been in the Match thread before, but like quite a few bystanders, have just read quite a few pages up to where we are here.
I'll quite happily say that throughout school I was a geek, probably not dissimilar to Matt in some ways. Liked going to computer club, club for rebuilding vintage tractors, club for remote controlled cars, raced go karts. That kind of thing.
I hate plenty of friends and was quite happy, but aged 18 I had begun to become quite frustrated at being the nice polite chap who girls would happily approach and chat to but then immediately insert into the friend zone.
I had noticed that copies amounts of beaver was passing me by and I wasn't going to allow that to continue into University.
I decided to change myself to attract more girls.
I was a build like Matt, not big, not skinny, just wimpy looking. I had glasses and a bit of a 'curtains' hairstyle (it was 1999). I dressed quite sensibly and often just with stuff my mum still bought me.
My outfits screamed 'polite young Man'.
I got contact lenses.
Cut my hair short.
Started shopping in more trendy clothes places where you would expect a 19 year old uni student to shop.
Started hitting the Uni gym, started taking it seriously, decent diet, protein milkshakes, creatine... And eventually dabbled on steroids a couple of times to speed things up.
I decided to change my persona as well, seen as how as I was away at Uni and no one knew me, I could freely do this.
I Bought a mk2 Golf GTi 16v.
I indulged my love of House music and bought some decks and learned to DJ. Then managed to get a few gigs at student nights and other house music nights in the City.
Rather than being the quiet chap who waited to be spoken to, I made a concerted effort to get amongst it and make myself stand out a bit and get the banter going.
It was quite incredible... All the changes added together suddenly made me attractive to girls for the first time.
Against considerate odds, I became that guy at uni who DJ's in a club, is pretty physically fit and well dressed, drives a Golf GTi and loves a good laugh at a party.
I even had a threesome a few times as well which is probably the pinnacle of my train-wreck dating years.
I think I was probably lacking in confidence as well having had so many knock backs, and once you get some confidence,it just breeds more confidence. Once you've banged a few attractive women, you start and look at others and think 'no problem' and when you approach them they sense your confidence and seem to find that far more attractive than some quiet bloke politely asking them out on a date, who had clearly not had much luck with women.
Sorry for all the waffle, but the stuff that people like Tonker is saying is correct. To get the girls you need to mould yourself a little into what the girls want.
Yes, it's a bit shallow, but as a young man, it gets you off to a good start in the world of women and you can always un-shallow yourself at a later date
At school I was more interested in the cricket & football teams. I never did anything to attract them, but there was always a girl around the place.I'll quite happily say that throughout school I was a geek, probably not dissimilar to Matt in some ways. Liked going to computer club, club for rebuilding vintage tractors, club for remote controlled cars, raced go karts. That kind of thing.
I hate plenty of friends and was quite happy, but aged 18 I had begun to become quite frustrated at being the nice polite chap who girls would happily approach and chat to but then immediately insert into the friend zone.
I had noticed that copies amounts of beaver was passing me by and I wasn't going to allow that to continue into University.
I decided to change myself to attract more girls.
I was a build like Matt, not big, not skinny, just wimpy looking. I had glasses and a bit of a 'curtains' hairstyle (it was 1999). I dressed quite sensibly and often just with stuff my mum still bought me.
My outfits screamed 'polite young Man'.
I got contact lenses.
Cut my hair short.
Started shopping in more trendy clothes places where you would expect a 19 year old uni student to shop.
Started hitting the Uni gym, started taking it seriously, decent diet, protein milkshakes, creatine... And eventually dabbled on steroids a couple of times to speed things up.
I decided to change my persona as well, seen as how as I was away at Uni and no one knew me, I could freely do this.
I Bought a mk2 Golf GTi 16v.
I indulged my love of House music and bought some decks and learned to DJ. Then managed to get a few gigs at student nights and other house music nights in the City.
Rather than being the quiet chap who waited to be spoken to, I made a concerted effort to get amongst it and make myself stand out a bit and get the banter going.
It was quite incredible... All the changes added together suddenly made me attractive to girls for the first time.
Against considerate odds, I became that guy at uni who DJ's in a club, is pretty physically fit and well dressed, drives a Golf GTi and loves a good laugh at a party.
I even had a threesome a few times as well which is probably the pinnacle of my train-wreck dating years.
I think I was probably lacking in confidence as well having had so many knock backs, and once you get some confidence,it just breeds more confidence. Once you've banged a few attractive women, you start and look at others and think 'no problem' and when you approach them they sense your confidence and seem to find that far more attractive than some quiet bloke politely asking them out on a date, who had clearly not had much luck with women.
Sorry for all the waffle, but the stuff that people like Tonker is saying is correct. To get the girls you need to mould yourself a little into what the girls want.
Yes, it's a bit shallow, but as a young man, it gets you off to a good start in the world of women and you can always un-shallow yourself at a later date
I had horses, played polocrosse & did a bit of show jumping. All that rising to the trot & stuff gives the girls great muscle control, & there are lots of girls ride horses.
I went motor racing, & there always seemed to be a girl sitting on a drum in the workshop, making cups of coffee etc. I remember once wondering, "where did she come from". I don't think I quite fitted the profile, as the girls did change fairly often, but I didn't mind.
In my 30s the ladies all seemed to be ones I'd met as someone's wife, now separated, who came looking for reassurance they were still attractive & SEXY. They soon found someone more suitable for their plans.
Then I went sailing. I took this lady sailing for a long weekend, & she never left. She could handle a 40 footer in a gale, so I guess I was pretty much like road kill when she made up her mind. She was a sexy little thing, so I guess I didn't put up much resistance.
39 years later, the eldest grandkid is about to go to high school. I don't think men should worry too much about women. Sooner or later one of them will mould you into what she thinks she wants. Life is easier if you don't resist too much.
Hasbeen said:
I don't think men should worry too much about women. Sooner or later one of them will mould you into what she thinks she wants. Life is easier if you don't resist too much.
Love it.
Akin to how the perfect house for a man is one that they first see and it's exactly as they want it, and they never want to change it.
Whereas for a woman it's one that has exactly the *potential* she's looking for and upon moving in, immediately sets about making changes, leading to confusion for the man who thought you'd just both bought the perfect house. You did, for both of you, but personal definitions of perfect vary.
As with houses, so it goes with the opposite sex, for both...
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