Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Vizsla said:
drivin_me_nuts said:
Impasse said:
Love how all the fat, middle-aged, balding munters who most likely live with a fat, middle-aged, balding munter feel qualified to give advice to a twenty something uni student. Carry on, you stud muffins. 
It's not that, its more the male gene kicking in when it seeks a damson in distress.
Impasse said:
Love how all the fat, middle-aged, balding munters who most likely live with a fat, middle-aged, balding munter feel qualified to give advice to a twenty something uni student. Carry on, you stud muffins.
Normally you'd be bang on the money, but he is failing to get laid at Uni. Uni! Even the most social retarded half human guys got laid at Uni, its not difficult. It would almost be harder NOT to get laid there.Justayellowbadge said:
CaptainSlow said:
1 pint, 8 pints, 6 pints, 0 pints, 0 pints
fatties a no no
two blondes if the ginger rejected me then yeah
ginger 8/10
blondes7/10 7/10
fattie, thats a different scale usually used to catagorise earthquakes
Mobile Chicane said:
He's at Uni. In terms of a fanny-fest, the opportunity doesn't get any greater.
But he's still managed to f
k it up.
Not fBut he's still managed to f
k it up.k it up seems more appropriate.I'm starting to wonder how Tinder "works". It is notoriously inaccurate with distance, but I'm sure that it has either started to decide that I've "liked" women who I wouldn't go near after 10 pints, or they changed their profile pictures to something less photoshopped after I said yay.
Had a few of these the last few days.
Vincefox said:
Impasse said:
Love how all the fat, middle-aged, balding munters who most likely live with a fat, middle-aged, balding munter feel qualified to give advice to a twenty something uni student. Carry on, you stud muffins.
I don't believe we've been formally introduced.Porky, old, bald looser with you porky OH... Meet Adonis, the person all men want to be.
HTH
Vincefox said:
ChemicalChaos said:
Du1point8 said:
I will do it...
Porky, old, bald looser with you porky OH... Meet Adonis, the person all men want to be.
HTH
He certainly has hair to die for Porky, old, bald looser with you porky OH... Meet Adonis, the person all men want to be.
HTH
It's in the washing machine at the moment.
Du1point8 said:
I was talking Impasse not you and your porn like hair.
I'm no Adonis, nor have I ever claimed to be. I'm no George Clooney, nor have I ever claimed to be. But then, neither have I ever offered relationship advice to a 21 year old lad from a position of self indulgent glee. But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
Impasse said:
Du1point8 said:
I was talking Impasse not you and your porn like hair.
I'm no Adonis, nor have I ever claimed to be. I'm no George Clooney, nor have I ever claimed to be. But then, neither have I ever offered relationship advice to a 21 year old lad from a position of self indulgent glee. But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
I maintain that the 'secret' of relationships is to have them with the right people in the first place.
Impasse said:
I'm no Adonis, nor have I ever claimed to be. I'm no George Clooney, nor have I ever claimed to be. But then, neither have I ever offered relationship advice to a 21 year old lad from a position of self indulgent glee.
But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
Stuttgartmetal, is that you?But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
Impasse said:
I'm no Adonis, nor have I ever claimed to be. I'm no George Clooney, nor have I ever claimed to be. But then, neither have I ever offered relationship advice to a 21 year old lad from a position of self indulgent glee.
But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
Would you like some angostura with your bitter?But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
Impasse said:
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
WTF!? I think you've been with the wrong women. Matt, ignore this.University isn't necessarily the place to find 'the one' (though some do), it's about life experiences and fun. Work hard at your studies but also play hard - important to get the right balance. A lot is personal discovery and establishing yourself as an individual (if that makes sense).
Anyway, FWIW (it's early in the morning and my stupid brain decided it might be fun waking me at 3am), I've already mentioned to Matt re required 'self improvement' but some further advice (all imvho of course)
1) Cut your hair. Properly. Some suit long hair, others don't. The last haircut was better than the original but still can be notably improved
2) Don't dress to try and portray a certain image. The waistcoat/pocket watch combo posted recently is exactly what you shouldn't do. It looks forced, try hard and false. You're not a country gent just like I'm not a
3) You don't need to spend a lot of money on clothes to look good. Fit is much more important (but dress to your body shape). The vast majority of men can't dress for s
t. Get a few pairs of decent jeans (go to GAP and try the different fits) and some good shirts/polo shirts. Rugby tops can also look good. You're a student - all students like Converse. There's nothing wrong with a bit of geek chic (guilty of that myself on occasion) but you need a certain personality to pull it off. If you aren't sure how to go about it, do you have any decent female friends who you can go shopping with or advise you?4) Nothing wrong with glasses. They can be trendy, depends on the style (and the rest of your outfit and haircut). You can try contact lenses, worth giving them a go.
5) Facial hair. Someone mentioned it a couple of pages back. Works for some, not for others. I get the feeling it probably wouldn't for you. No facial hair is better than crap facial hair.
6) Smell good. I remember a thread a while back where you were considering using Brut. Don't. There's no ironic merit in smelling like old dad. Ralph Lauren Blue, JPG original or Bleu de Chanel are my personal favourites of late.
7) Simply by dressing well and smelling good you'll stand out from a vast majority of blokes. Seriously.
8) Confidence. Girls like it. Do the above and your confidence will grow. You'll carry yourself better and it'll be a virtuous circle. (Can be a fine line between confidence and arrogance - that's not to say some girls also like the latter).
9) Have fun with it. A desperate guy is not an attractive guy.
10) Jägerbombs
And here endeth this morning's lesson. HTH
Oh, and I'm not bald or fat or middle aged.
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