Match.com (Volume 6)
Discussion
Just to add something here... The clothes thing.
It's tricky finding a look that actually works for you, rather than what you just think SHOULD work. Being honest with yourself about how you look is the first step to building something that youre comfortable with (leading to genuine, quiet confidence) and that actually plays to your physical strengths.
In addition to this, having a good shape is important. Now i'm not saying spend all your time in the gym, but imho nothing has more style than being able to look ok in a good pair of jeans and a plain t shirt.
I know i take the piss (and will continue to) but i do actually wish the best for Matt with all this nonsense. It's taken me years to get the finely honed balance between miniature viking and pet rescue afghan hound right. I made a lot of howling mistaiks along the way and i bet i'm not the only one in here
It's tricky finding a look that actually works for you, rather than what you just think SHOULD work. Being honest with yourself about how you look is the first step to building something that youre comfortable with (leading to genuine, quiet confidence) and that actually plays to your physical strengths.
In addition to this, having a good shape is important. Now i'm not saying spend all your time in the gym, but imho nothing has more style than being able to look ok in a good pair of jeans and a plain t shirt.
I know i take the piss (and will continue to) but i do actually wish the best for Matt with all this nonsense. It's taken me years to get the finely honed balance between miniature viking and pet rescue afghan hound right. I made a lot of howling mistaiks along the way and i bet i'm not the only one in here
Impasse said:
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
I think Impasse might have just won the "saddest case on PH" crown with this post. Please can you post a few pictures of yourself in amusing attire to secure the top spot?Impasse said:
I'm no Adonis, nor have I ever claimed to be. I'm no George Clooney, nor have I ever claimed to be. But then, neither have I ever offered relationship advice to a 21 year old lad from a position of self indulgent glee.
But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
Another person with as poor a track record in picking a mate and just as big a chip on their shoulder has written that about men, somewhere on the internet. Matt, ignore the above. It's patently, demonstrably bBut I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
ks.He may have a partial mitigation due to the post stemming from alcohol induced self pity, though.
Sounds like depression to me. Either had a lot of bad relationships after spending his life jumping for every woman who shows a vague interest, or only ever had one partner their entire life and so wasn't prepared for how a breakup feels. Fact is, any person has the capacity to lie or cheat given the context where they feel they need to in order to have a life. Surely they must realise that they are bitter, and that others can be happy - it's just them that find it so hard, and so probably aren't the best person to advise?
It was a comment based on reality and wasn't even rebuffed by our own MC, all she did was to offer a gender based counter claim that some men can share these attributes - which to be fair was accurate. The majority of my friends are girls and pretty much every one is of the same opinion of their gender and admits girls make lousy life partners.
However, at least it wasn't a suggestion to Matt change virtually every facet of who he is simply to attract a mere girl. That's plainly ridiculous and unrealistic because if they don't like who he is now then they don't deserve to be in his circle of friends just because of a potential haircut and a new shirt. No girl is worth altering who you are.
No doubt the lifestyle experts will have some objection to this while they pull up their elasticated trousers and run their fingers across the stubble on their scalp while sucking in their paunch in front of the mirror.
Like I said earlier, Matt ignore girls and concentrate on your studies while at Uni. You'll find them a lot more rewarding, useful and longer lasting than a girl could ever be. A relationship doesn't define you or validate your existence no matter how much some seem to think the only way of feeling good about themselves is to have sex with a girl.
However, at least it wasn't a suggestion to Matt change virtually every facet of who he is simply to attract a mere girl. That's plainly ridiculous and unrealistic because if they don't like who he is now then they don't deserve to be in his circle of friends just because of a potential haircut and a new shirt. No girl is worth altering who you are.
No doubt the lifestyle experts will have some objection to this while they pull up their elasticated trousers and run their fingers across the stubble on their scalp while sucking in their paunch in front of the mirror.
Like I said earlier, Matt ignore girls and concentrate on your studies while at Uni. You'll find them a lot more rewarding, useful and longer lasting than a girl could ever be. A relationship doesn't define you or validate your existence no matter how much some seem to think the only way of feeling good about themselves is to have sex with a girl.
Impasse said:
Like I said earlier, Matt ignore girls and concentrate on your studies while at Uni. You'll find them a lot more rewarding, useful and longer lasting than a girl could ever be.
I couldnt disagree more. There are opportunities at university which are hard to find elsewhere in life. Its about making the most of it and enjoying yourself. Your attitude of 'be yourself' is fine, but if you want to pass your exams, you have to work at it. If you want to be good at sport, you train. If you want to attract women, you brush up on some parts of how you dress/look. If matt wants a girl then there is nothing wrong with spending some time in the gym, or getting a better haircut. Thats not 'selling out' thats making improvements. Also if you look good you'll feel better, and you attract more women, almost without trying. Impasse said:
Like I said earlier, Matt ignore girls and concentrate on your studies while at Uni. You'll find them a lot more rewarding, useful and longer lasting than a girl could ever be. A relationship doesn't define you or validate your existence no matter how much some seem to think the only way of feeling good about themselves is to have sex with a girl.
Or try men.You know you want to.
i think the last few pages of this thread say less about Matt than they do about many of the rest of you lot. It's possible to 'fix up' a bit e.g. dress a bit less slobby, haircut etc., but at the end of the day if it gets to the point where you're recommending changes to personality, things you enjoy and your fundamental being then he's far better just being who he is. People should only change fundamentally if they want to and are ready to do so (and people do, over their lives) not because some tools on the Internet said it would get them some giblets.
Blown2CV said:
i think the last few pages of this thread say less about Matt than they do about many of the rest of you lot. It's possible to 'fix up' a bit e.g. dress a bit less slobby, haircut etc., but at the end of the day if it gets to the point where you're recommending changes to personality, things you enjoy and your fundamental being then he's far better just being who he is. People should only change fundamentally if they want to and are ready to do so (and people do, over their lives) not because some tools on the Internet said it would get them some giblets.
It's fine to have 'geeky' hobbies (miniature steam engines, aeroplanes and formula student), but using them to try and pull with are not going to work (at least not with 99% of single women in Matt's age range). If you are super fit and attractive or have a confident, funny personality then that might be enough to compensate, but somehow I don't think Matt is winning in those areas. I'm sure Matt's perfect woman is out there somewhere, trying to find him, but chances are she's probably very average in the looks department, and Matt seems to have his sights set much higher than that (being quite selective on tinder by the sound of it). You reap what you sew, and if you don't make any effort with your looks, it's double standards to expect a woman to. The vast majority of women are quite particular about dressing well, having nice hair/make up etc. They make the effort, so blokes should too (or they can wallow in self pity/jealousy when the blokes that do make an effort win the girls).
I'm trying to think of the female equivalent of Matt, and it's probably a fairly average looking woman with a skin head, no make up, wearing 1920's dress, who's main interests are knitting and baking cakes, has a very timid personality, and an low to average does of the mental. Have you ever met a woman Matt's age like that, because I haven't. And would you expect her to have the hotest blokes throwing themselves at her? This is how you come across Matt, at least your online persona. Hopefully you do a bit better in the real world. You need to make some (relatively minor) changes to yourself or lower your expectations appropriately.
clarkmagpie said:
A few comments are getting a bit below the belt here.
I know he has left himself open for a bit of mickey taking especially giving free reign over his photos but lets keep it in good taste
+1I know he has left himself open for a bit of mickey taking especially giving free reign over his photos but lets keep it in good taste
There is some golden stuff going on here but to be fair there is an equal amount of nastiness.
Hair, clothes, personality - take the piss all you want.
Actual face and how he looks - you don't choose the face you're given so those jokes are a bit harsh.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Good point.Looking at the science behind these things I'd say he was a bottom. Which I'm led to believe is a whole other experience altogether.
Impasse said:
It was a comment based on reality and wasn't even rebuffed by our own MC, all she did was to offer a gender based counter claim that some men can share these attributes - which to be fair was accurate. The majority of my friends are girls and pretty much every one is of the same opinion of their gender and admits girls make lousy life partners.
However, at least it wasn't a suggestion to Matt change virtually every facet of who he is simply to attract a mere girl. That's plainly ridiculous and unrealistic because if they don't like who he is now then they don't deserve to be in his circle of friends just because of a potential haircut and a new shirt. No girl is worth altering who you are.
No doubt the lifestyle experts will have some objection to this while they pull up their elasticated trousers and run their fingers across the stubble on their scalp while sucking in their paunch in front of the mirror.
Like I said earlier, Matt ignore girls and concentrate on your studies while at Uni. You'll find them a lot more rewarding, useful and longer lasting than a girl could ever be. A relationship doesn't define you or validate your existence no matter how much some seem to think the only way of feeling good about themselves is to have sex with a girl.
Bitter undertones aside, this is the best advice for Matt over the last few pages.However, at least it wasn't a suggestion to Matt change virtually every facet of who he is simply to attract a mere girl. That's plainly ridiculous and unrealistic because if they don't like who he is now then they don't deserve to be in his circle of friends just because of a potential haircut and a new shirt. No girl is worth altering who you are.
No doubt the lifestyle experts will have some objection to this while they pull up their elasticated trousers and run their fingers across the stubble on their scalp while sucking in their paunch in front of the mirror.
Like I said earlier, Matt ignore girls and concentrate on your studies while at Uni. You'll find them a lot more rewarding, useful and longer lasting than a girl could ever be. A relationship doesn't define you or validate your existence no matter how much some seem to think the only way of feeling good about themselves is to have sex with a girl.
Impasse said:
I'm no Adonis, nor have I ever claimed to be. I'm no George Clooney, nor have I ever claimed to be. But then, neither have I ever offered relationship advice to a 21 year old lad from a position of self indulgent glee.
But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
Hmm, that accurately describes the one that I had but I don't think that they're all like that.But I will do now if you like?
Matt, don't bother. They're ultimately a disappointment and will only ever cost you money, time and wasted emotions. Yes, some look nice and some even smell nice. But ultimately every one will lie if it benefits them. Every one will cheat if they think they can get away with it. Every one will do what they can to relieve you of any cash you may have. Once you get past the pleasant aesthetics they really aren't an attractive species. Anyone who disagrees with this is either enviably naïve, in denial or sitting on a potential time bomb. Concentrate on your Uni studies as you'll find them a lot more fulfilling and certainly far more useful.
northwest monkey said:
Impasse said:
No girl is worth altering who you are.
For a night with Kelly Brook I'd disagree with that. I'd wear a pocket watch and white jeans.
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