3 yr old Son dressing up in girls costume
Discussion
sorry this really made me laugh. Especially the part about your son arriving at your mums dressed in a pink dress 
Sorry, it mustn't be funny for you though.
I see what you mean. A young lad should not be dressing up as a girl and definitely not encouraged to do so by his mum. I think you need to put your foot down and maybe get rid of the frocks. Buy him some football kits.
Well clearly he enjoys dressing up and you're an arse if you stop him dressing up as he wishes.
However if you're really concerned the carrot rather then stick approach would be best, buy him some more butch outfits (action man, bat man etc) and let him make this own choices.
As he gets a little older and goes to nursery/school he'll probably stop wearing the dress from peer pressure anyway so it really isn't anything to worry about.
Just be sure to get some pics so you can rip the piss when he's a little older
There is a tiny chance that he'll decide he wants to live life as a woman/gay whatever but at 3 it's unlikely what's going on here and he's unlikely to be aware of the more complex social constructs around gender roles/identity and he probably just enjoys putting on a nice dress.
However if you're really concerned the carrot rather then stick approach would be best, buy him some more butch outfits (action man, bat man etc) and let him make this own choices.
As he gets a little older and goes to nursery/school he'll probably stop wearing the dress from peer pressure anyway so it really isn't anything to worry about.
Just be sure to get some pics so you can rip the piss when he's a little older
There is a tiny chance that he'll decide he wants to live life as a woman/gay whatever but at 3 it's unlikely what's going on here and he's unlikely to be aware of the more complex social constructs around gender roles/identity and he probably just enjoys putting on a nice dress.
Edited by rpguk on Tuesday 12th August 13:22
Edited by rpguk on Tuesday 12th August 13:23
(flame suit on)...
Personally, I'd put a stop to it. He's 3. It's not like there are any concerns as implied above by other posters "he might be a gayer" or whatever - 3 year olds aren't exactly at sex age after all.
However, personally I think it's hard enough for a small kid to step out of their little bubble and start interacting socially with other kids - all it will take are a few comments from other parents and your son will become the weird kid at playgroup.
IF he gets to the age that he wants to form his own identity ,then fine - but IMO 3 is too young to make that sort of choice for himself. Is there any chance that your missus really wanted a girl, and so she's imparting her will on him without realising it? IMO that's not fair on the boy.
PS - I spent age 3-4 1/2 with an eyepatch. I know what it's like to be the weird kid, it sucks balls.
Personally, I'd put a stop to it. He's 3. It's not like there are any concerns as implied above by other posters "he might be a gayer" or whatever - 3 year olds aren't exactly at sex age after all.
However, personally I think it's hard enough for a small kid to step out of their little bubble and start interacting socially with other kids - all it will take are a few comments from other parents and your son will become the weird kid at playgroup.
IF he gets to the age that he wants to form his own identity ,then fine - but IMO 3 is too young to make that sort of choice for himself. Is there any chance that your missus really wanted a girl, and so she's imparting her will on him without realising it? IMO that's not fair on the boy.
PS - I spent age 3-4 1/2 with an eyepatch. I know what it's like to be the weird kid, it sucks balls.
My daughter had a friend at school who was the same if not worse, the only toys he had indoors where Bratz dolls and prams. The dad who was an old school mans man, didn't like it one bit but put up with it. The mum didn't encourage it but quite liked it I think. She always wanted a girl. They had both decided that he was gay and would support him through this. He has since grown up and and would be mortified if anyone mentioned he played will dolls. Also as far as I can tell from his Facebook he is very, very keen on the ladies and not boys, although he has moved to Brazil and it can be hard to tell.
Let him get on with it he will probably grow out of it.
Let him get on with it he will probably grow out of it.
It may just be a phase that he passes through, then again it might not.
If it is just a phase then you will just laugh when you look back at how silly you were for even thinking there was something 'wrong'.
However, if he turns out to be gay, or transsexual then no amount of nurture or trying to force manly pursuits will change that, it will just foster resentment.
Now I can understand you wanting to protect him from being bullied because of the way he is, that’s understandable. I experienced childhood bullies and it’s a very unpleasant experience (very much the stereotypical geek).
Support rather than conflict would be my advice, not from a parents point of view (I am not a parent) but from the point of view of somebody that knows people in the GLBT community (I hate labelling people but it just seems easy to use acronym that most people understand) and has talked to people about the s
t they have had to go through and in some cases losing a parent from their lives because they didn't conform to the normal 'accepted boundaries'.
If he turns out to be a cross dresser/transsexual/gay is it really that bad, it's not illegal and hurts no-one.
If it is just a phase then you will just laugh when you look back at how silly you were for even thinking there was something 'wrong'.
However, if he turns out to be gay, or transsexual then no amount of nurture or trying to force manly pursuits will change that, it will just foster resentment.
Now I can understand you wanting to protect him from being bullied because of the way he is, that’s understandable. I experienced childhood bullies and it’s a very unpleasant experience (very much the stereotypical geek).
Support rather than conflict would be my advice, not from a parents point of view (I am not a parent) but from the point of view of somebody that knows people in the GLBT community (I hate labelling people but it just seems easy to use acronym that most people understand) and has talked to people about the s
t they have had to go through and in some cases losing a parent from their lives because they didn't conform to the normal 'accepted boundaries'.If he turns out to be a cross dresser/transsexual/gay is it really that bad, it's not illegal and hurts no-one.
Edited by PanzerCommander on Tuesday 12th August 13:28
Foliage said:
I could say don't let it bother you but of course it will, but try not to let it show in your actions, give your love and support to your son in everything he does, as his dad im sure youd like for him to grow out of it and for the pictures of him wearing a frock to be used to embarrass him at his wedding to his boyfriend BUT you need to consider that that may not be the case and he may need your love and support in getting through some difficult times in the future.
EFA 
Seriously though, I wouldn't encourage it. Not to say be against it, but you/your wife must let him decide on his own what he wants. If you suppress it he will only grow into a self loathing psycho. Would you rather that, or a happy and gay (potentially) son? If I was a father, I'd rather have happy children.
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