3 yr old Son dressing up in girls costume

3 yr old Son dressing up in girls costume

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Pothole

34,367 posts

281 months

Tuesday 19th August 2014
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Dr Interceptor said:
I'm a bit late to the party on this one...

When I was three years old, I was obsessed with Herbie, The Love Bug. In fact, I still am to a small degree. I've never owned a Beetle, but a 1963 in Pearl White is high on my bucket list. Aside from being en-trawled by air-cooled VWs, I had a massive Lego collection, and built houses, space ships, trains - anything really.

I also used to love playing with my road mat - you know those ones about a metre square with a town road pattern printed on it - perfectly sized for matchbox cars. I also had water guns, nerf guns, and as I got a bit older, an air rifle in the garden for shooting tins.

I was really into Go-Karting too. Dad used to take me for karting lessons on a Sunday morning, and I had my own racing karts, probably three or four over the years.

So my upbringing was pretty 'boyish'. My nearest sibling, my sister, is 10 years older than me, so I never really played with her toys. I just did boys things.

As I got older, I swapped toy cars for real cars. The current fleet consists of the GolfR, my Stag and the Jensen which I share with Dad. A pretty 'manly' fleet, even if the Jensen is Primrose Yellow.

So there you go, you can have the manliest of upbringings, and I still turned out gay.

OP - it doesn't matter what your Son does now, truthfully. If anything, being comfortable with his feminine side now will probably just pave the way for making him a more rounded and sensitive straight man. But, whatever he turns out to be, does it really matter?
Apart from making up words, you've come through childhood relatively unscathed on the evidence presented. I assume you meant enthralled.

Dr Interceptor

7,743 posts

195 months

Tuesday 19th August 2014
quotequote all
Pothole said:
Dr Interceptor said:
I'm a bit late to the party on this one...

When I was three years old, I was obsessed with Herbie, The Love Bug. In fact, I still am to a small degree. I've never owned a Beetle, but a 1963 in Pearl White is high on my bucket list. Aside from being en-trawled by air-cooled VWs, I had a massive Lego collection, and built houses, space ships, trains - anything really.

I also used to love playing with my road mat - you know those ones about a metre square with a town road pattern printed on it - perfectly sized for matchbox cars. I also had water guns, nerf guns, and as I got a bit older, an air rifle in the garden for shooting tins.

I was really into Go-Karting too. Dad used to take me for karting lessons on a Sunday morning, and I had my own racing karts, probably three or four over the years.

So my upbringing was pretty 'boyish'. My nearest sibling, my sister, is 10 years older than me, so I never really played with her toys. I just did boys things.

As I got older, I swapped toy cars for real cars. The current fleet consists of the GolfR, my Stag and the Jensen which I share with Dad. A pretty 'manly' fleet, even if the Jensen is Primrose Yellow.

So there you go, you can have the manliest of upbringings, and I still turned out gay.

OP - it doesn't matter what your Son does now, truthfully. If anything, being comfortable with his feminine side now will probably just pave the way for making him a more rounded and sensitive straight man. But, whatever he turns out to be, does it really matter?
Apart from making up words, you've come through childhood relatively unscathed on the evidence presented. I assume you meant enthralled.
Blame iPad auto correct, and lack of proof reading, my apologies.

UnderTheRadar

503 posts

172 months

Wednesday 20th August 2014
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I've been watching this with interest as I have 2 boys and 2 girls. I've given them equal opportunities to do whatever they want, whether it's banging in nails, playing with dolls, rugby, netball etc. I've then supported them in whatever they choose to do at that moment in their lives. One of the boys is a psychotic rugby player, the other has chosen football (which definitely wasn't down to me as I have doubts about the culture around the game) and isn't interested in the physicality of rugby at all. My oldest daughter is into clothes, make-up and woodwork - she's asked me to help her make a chair, which I will. The point being that I help them in whatever they wish to do at that point in life without pushing them. However a relative who would self-identify as LGBT accuses me of forcing their sexuality/gender and accuses me of homophobia when I help the boys do something that is typically associated with men. This attitude reminds me of Stonewall who get everyone's backs up, even within their own community, by being so aggressive and unpleasant when I find the vast majority of LGBT great people to know.

Oh, and to answer the OP - I played with dolls as a child and it didn't make me gay. I'm more bothered that your wife is pushing him towards girly stuff as it would if you were pushing him to manly stuff. Is she deliberately winding you up by proxy? In which case regardless of the sexuality angle, it's not pretty.

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Wednesday 20th August 2014
quotequote all
UnderTheRadar said:
I've been watching this with interest as I have 2 boys and 2 girls. I've given them equal opportunities to do whatever they want, whether it's banging in nails, playing with dolls, rugby, netball etc. I've then supported them in whatever they choose to do at that moment in their lives. One of the boys is a psychotic rugby player, the other has chosen football (which definitely wasn't down to me as I have doubts about the culture around the game) and isn't interested in the physicality of rugby at all. My oldest daughter is into clothes, make-up and woodwork - she's asked me to help her make a chair, which I will. The point being that I help them in whatever they wish to do at that point in life without pushing them. However a relative who would self-identify as LGBT accuses me of forcing their sexuality/gender and accuses me of homophobia when I help the boys do something that is typically associated with men. This attitude reminds me of Stonewall who get everyone's backs up, even within their own community, by being so aggressive and unpleasant when I find the vast majority of LGBT great people to know.
Hmmm. Perhaps they are simply not aware of this and only see a snapshot of things? Perhaps there isn't sufficient dialogue between the two of you, or perhaps this relative doesn't see your kids that often and/or isn't included enough to know all the facts?

Also, did this relative actually accuse you of homophobia to your face, or did you just hear it from a notoriously unreliable gossip and chose to believe them? Have you actually talked to them about this, or just made unpleasant insinuations in a semi-anonymous way on a public forum?

In my experience, family matters are immeasurably more complex than they seem and different people can get different opinions based on the available data.

Reminds me of an advert that screened years ago.
http://youtu.be/27XAhBu4XjE


Edited by JonRB on Thursday 21st August 08:13

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Wednesday 27th August 2014
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longshot said:
While there, her friend's boyfriend told me how their son (4 years old) had returned from a party singing the Barbie Girl song by Aqua.
I love that song. biggrin

Edit: I initially used the paperbag emoticon, but then I remembered Dara O Briain's skit on "Music Snobbery and Guilty Pleasures" (google it - it's brilliant), and decided that I am not the least bit ashamed about liking this song so the paperbag smiley went.


Dakkon

7,826 posts

252 months

Wednesday 27th August 2014
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No offense OP, but you are an idiot, children of that age have no concept of sex or that girls wear dresses and boys dont, as others have said they see everything as something to play with, it is just a phase and he will grow out of it.

So, why don't you take your narrow minded homophobia elsehwere?

callmedave

2,686 posts

144 months

Wednesday 27th August 2014
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TLDR - Im not gonna pisstake. I hope i can help.

I have one boy, 7, one girl, 9.

Sometimes i think there choice of toy/clothing/film etc a bit odd, but i dont worry about it, Il do my best to teach them wrong and right, help them best i can with homework and support them through the choices they make. Their friends in school will have an influence too, once he relaises his mates like scaletrix and football he will be well away. Dont let the mrs influence him towards wearing dresses. thats plain wrong, he should make choices, let him know your thoughts, be honest, but kind. 'i prefer the batman outfit' 'do you REALLY like pink???'

Im not saying you dont, but spend time with him, get the box of cars out and drive them into each other, build some lego, take the football out etc. I hope this helps.

UnderTheRadar

503 posts

172 months

Wednesday 3rd September 2014
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Rather annoyingly I'm with JonRB on this one. They will be what they will be. Help them be what they wish to be. Whilst this all sounds a bit tree-hugger yoghurt-knitter (the spelling checker is fine with yoghurt-knitter, but unhappy with tree-hugger!) Forcing someone onto a path that isn't them blows up down the line. What you want them to be and what they are may be different. I'm equally annoyed by men who say boys must be chest-beating alpha males and those that push towards mixed gender thoughts.

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Wednesday 3rd September 2014
quotequote all
UnderTheRadar said:
Rather annoyingly I'm with JonRB on this one.
Huh? Why does it annoy you to be in agreement with me? confused

UnderTheRadar

503 posts

172 months

Thursday 4th September 2014
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JonRB said:
Huh? Why does it annoy you to be in agreement with me? confused
LOL! Because I post roughly 70 words, about 60 in support of your thinking and you choose to pick on the other 7. (yes, I know the maths doesn't work... laugh )

longshot

3,286 posts

197 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
JonRB said:
longshot said:
While there, her friend's boyfriend told me how their son (4 years old) had returned from a party singing the Barbie Girl song by Aqua.
I love that song. biggrin
Me too. smile

lukefreeman

1,492 posts

174 months

Friday 5th September 2014
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He's g@y I'd put him down if I were you.

Sorry for your loss.


I've met gay straight blokes, and straight gay blokes. Upbringing has nothing to do with it I'm afraid.

You could've dressed me up a Barbie, and let me watch my little Pony and I'd still love tits and arse.

speedysoprano

224 posts

118 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
lukefreeman said:
He's g@y I'd put him down if I were you.

Sorry for your loss.


I've met gay straight blokes, and straight gay blokes. Upbringing has nothing to do with it I'm afraid.

You could've dressed me up a Barbie, and let me watch my little Pony and I'd still love tits and arse.
Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry for YOUR loss, in viewing the world that way. As you have hamfistedly said, people are the way they are, and that's that. I'll turn that around and say that gay people have every right to be the way they are, just as much as you do.

OP, who knows what's going to happen in the future? I'm sure the kid will find his way and with the support of you and his mother he'll be just fine, whatever sexuality he turns out to be.

lukefreeman

1,492 posts

174 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
speedysoprano said:
lukefreeman said:
He's g@y I'd put him down if I were you.

Sorry for your loss.


I've met gay straight blokes, and straight gay blokes. Upbringing has nothing to do with it I'm afraid.

You could've dressed me up a Barbie, and let me watch my little Pony and I'd still love tits and arse.
Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry for YOUR loss, in viewing the world that way. As you have hamfistedly said, people are the way they are, and that's that. I'll turn that around and say that gay people have every right to be the way they are, just as much as you do.

OP, who knows what's going to happen in the future? I'm sure the kid will find his way and with the support of you and his mother he'll be just fine, whatever sexuality he turns out to be.
Woooooooooossssshhhhhhhhhhhh

Dr Interceptor

7,743 posts

195 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
speedysoprano said:
Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry for YOUR loss, in viewing the world that way. As you have hamfistedly said, people are the way they are, and that's that. I'll turn that around and say that gay people have every right to be the way they are, just as much as you do.

OP, who knows what's going to happen in the future? I'm sure the kid will find his way and with the support of you and his mother he'll be just fine, whatever sexuality he turns out to be.
I think he was joshing wink

speedysoprano

224 posts

118 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
lukefreeman said:
speedysoprano said:
lukefreeman said:
He's g@y I'd put him down if I were you.

Sorry for your loss.


I've met gay straight blokes, and straight gay blokes. Upbringing has nothing to do with it I'm afraid.

You could've dressed me up a Barbie, and let me watch my little Pony and I'd still love tits and arse.
Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry for YOUR loss, in viewing the world that way. As you have hamfistedly said, people are the way they are, and that's that. I'll turn that around and say that gay people have every right to be the way they are, just as much as you do.

OP, who knows what's going to happen in the future? I'm sure the kid will find his way and with the support of you and his mother he'll be just fine, whatever sexuality he turns out to be.
Woooooooooossssshhhhhhhhhhhh
Oh. Crap. Sorry mate. Jumped the gun a bit there.

lukefreeman

1,492 posts

174 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
speedysoprano said:
lukefreeman said:
speedysoprano said:
lukefreeman said:
He's g@y I'd put him down if I were you.

Sorry for your loss.


I've met gay straight blokes, and straight gay blokes. Upbringing has nothing to do with it I'm afraid.

You could've dressed me up a Barbie, and let me watch my little Pony and I'd still love tits and arse.
Wow. Just wow. I'm sorry for YOUR loss, in viewing the world that way. As you have hamfistedly said, people are the way they are, and that's that. I'll turn that around and say that gay people have every right to be the way they are, just as much as you do.

OP, who knows what's going to happen in the future? I'm sure the kid will find his way and with the support of you and his mother he'll be just fine, whatever sexuality he turns out to be.
Woooooooooossssshhhhhhhhhhhh
Oh. Crap. Sorry mate. Jumped the gun a bit there.
lol nae bother.

My missis twin sister's a lezzer....Exactly same upbringing as Mrs 'Pants........Just likes women. Upbringing doesn't come into it fortunately.

JonRB

74,402 posts

271 months

Friday 5th September 2014
quotequote all
I rather feel like I'm pissing into the ocean here, but people still seem to be confusing sexuality with gender identity.

"Dressing in girls clothes means you're gay". Just think on that for a moment and consider how utterly, utterly ridiculous that statement is.



UnderTheRadar

503 posts

172 months

Monday 8th September 2014
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JonRB said:
I rather feel like I'm pissing into the ocean here, but people still seem to be confusing sexuality with gender identity.

"Dressing in girls clothes means you're gay". Just think on that for a moment and consider how utterly, utterly ridiculous that statement is.
IMO it's not kind to label people as ignorant or hostile when in fact they are just being where they are which may be different. I came across an angler a few weeks back. He'd caught a fish and looked happy about it so I thought I'd be friendly and congratulate him. I asked if it was a perch and he looked at me with complete scorn and said it was a roach. I know nothing about angling, have no interest in angling but I have no problem with people who are. To him subtle distinctions about fishing were incredibly important enough to be rude to friendly others. The point I'm trying to get at (rather long windedly) is that what is a big factor in your life doesn't mean it should be in everyone elses and you may attack them. There are people in safety groups who have lost a relative through excessive speed - they are understandably very hurt but do we think their thoughts should be applied to everyone and anyone who disagrees should be berated?

Ari

19,328 posts

214 months

Monday 8th September 2014
quotequote all
Hmmm...

Turns out the poor kid is just in the wrong era. biggrin