Ex Wife Emigrating to Oz and Taking my 14 year old with her!
Discussion
So, after 1 1/2 years of court hearings and CAFCASS (child family court arbitrators) meetings the judge has today agreed for my ex to emigrate to Oz, taking my 14 year old daughter with her. Initially my daughter didn't want to go but over the last year she has been manipulated and brain washed into believing that moving to Australia, leaving her family (I have a big family including 3 grandparents aunts, uncles and cousins) and friends behind is a good idea.
We are very close, spending every weekend together, doing all kinds of stuff but I must admit that over the last few months, as she has been turning from a girl into a fully blown teenager/woman she has been more tricky to please at the weekends especially as she wants to sleep until midday! Music and boys have become more important in her life than her Dad so maybe a move to Oz for a few years will do her good. Obviously I am gutted....more than gutted...devastated, but I suppose life goes on and, hopefully, she'll return in a couple of years when she realises that Austrailia ain't all it's cracked up to be especially when you take away the sun, BBQ's and beaches!
Will be odd having my weekends free to do whatever me and my Mrs want to do, most of my mates are tied up with their kids and will be for years to come.....South London ain't a cheap place to get a flat these days! Emotionally, I'm going to struggle at first, being a Dad was the most important job in my life, I relished the challenge of keeping her amused and happy when I had her....Still, as long as she's happy eh?
We are very close, spending every weekend together, doing all kinds of stuff but I must admit that over the last few months, as she has been turning from a girl into a fully blown teenager/woman she has been more tricky to please at the weekends especially as she wants to sleep until midday! Music and boys have become more important in her life than her Dad so maybe a move to Oz for a few years will do her good. Obviously I am gutted....more than gutted...devastated, but I suppose life goes on and, hopefully, she'll return in a couple of years when she realises that Austrailia ain't all it's cracked up to be especially when you take away the sun, BBQ's and beaches!
Will be odd having my weekends free to do whatever me and my Mrs want to do, most of my mates are tied up with their kids and will be for years to come.....South London ain't a cheap place to get a flat these days! Emotionally, I'm going to struggle at first, being a Dad was the most important job in my life, I relished the challenge of keeping her amused and happy when I had her....Still, as long as she's happy eh?
Lordbenny said:
hopefully, she'll return in a couple of years when she realises that Austrailia ain't all it's cracked up to be especially when you take away the sun, BBQ's and beaches!
Yeah... maybe. 
Sorry to hear it, sounds thoroughly difficult. Does she have any idea what she wants to do in the future? How does Aussie university funding compare? Any chance of encouraging her back this way in a few years?
She'll be at a private school although she's not amazingly academic. I reckon a few years with that 
of an ex wife of mine and, hopefully, she'll be begging to come home! I've also hear that Brisbane ain't exactly the centre of culture so when I send her videos of me at various music festivals, travelling round Europe, watching Palace win the Premiership, having snowball fights in the garden, eating a real English breakfast, sipping Pimms in a beautiful country pub, going to Borough market to buy Cornish pasties...I could go on....she might want to come back!
of an ex wife of mine and, hopefully, she'll be begging to come home! I've also hear that Brisbane ain't exactly the centre of culture so when I send her videos of me at various music festivals, travelling round Europe, watching Palace win the Premiership, having snowball fights in the garden, eating a real English breakfast, sipping Pimms in a beautiful country pub, going to Borough market to buy Cornish pasties...I could go on....she might want to come back!Lordbenny said:
She'll be at a private school although she's not amazingly academic. I reckon a few years with that of an ex wife of mine and, hopefully, she'll be begging to come home! I've also hear that Brisbane ain't exactly the centre of culture so when I send her videos of me at various music festivals, travelling round Europe, watching Palace win the Premiership, having snowball fights in the garden, eating a real English breakfast, sipping Pimms in a beautiful country pub, going to Borough market to buy Cornish pasties...I could go on....she might want to come back!
I hate to point out the obvious flaw in your plan... of an ex wife of mine and, hopefully, she'll be begging to come home! I've also hear that Brisbane ain't exactly the centre of culture so when I send her videos of me at various music festivals, travelling round Europe, watching Palace win the Premiership, having snowball fights in the garden, eating a real English breakfast, sipping Pimms in a beautiful country pub, going to Borough market to buy Cornish pasties...I could go on....she might want to come back!Back on topic, try and think of it as a great opportunity for her to experience another part of the world. I know plenty of people who've gone to Oz, and despite all the supposed advantages pined for the UK. I know there's plenty who don't and if she's not one of them, it's what planes are built for.
Whilst trying to sugar-coat it, I know how devastated I'd be if this was happening to my son, so I feel for you
Not such a big disaster as it may seem, whilst at the same time I do feel sorry for you.
Look on the bright side.
Your ex wife is as far away from you as she could possibly be.....
With modern technology, she is as far away from you as Skype or IM.
Photographs can be sent over to OZ (and back) in two seconds. Think of the old days when a letter took six weeks to arrive.
You have seen the best years of her growing up, it's quite normal for teenagers to push their parents into the background a
bit, and focus on things that are important to them.....boyfriends, fashion etc.
Chin up, be glad that she is going to broaden her horizons a lot, she can always come back in 24 hours.
ps. I have a very good friend who moved to Brisbane twenty years ago, we chat on the net most nights. (morning for him)
Wacky Racer said:
Not such a big disaster as it may seem, whilst at the same time I do feel sorry for you.
Look on the bright side.
Your ex wife is as far away from you as she could possibly be.....
With modern technology, she is as far away from you as Skype or IM.
Photographs can be sent over to OZ (and back) in two seconds. Think of the old days when a letter took six weeks to arrive.
You have seen the best years of her growing up, it's quite normal for teenagers to push their parents into the background a
bit, and focus on things that are important to them.....boyfriends, fashion etc.
Chin up, be glad that she is going to broaden her horizons a lot, she can always come back in 24 hours.
ps. I have a very good friend who moved to Brisbane twenty years ago, we chat on the net most nights. (morning for him)
Blimey, you have hit every nail on the head. You've managed to sum up what me and Ladybenny have been focusing on...the positives are there and it's glass half full as far as I'm concerned. As long as she's healthy and happy that's what matters. I know it's a cliche but just look at the news at the moment, you realise that your problems ain't worth worrying too much about!Look on the bright side.
Your ex wife is as far away from you as she could possibly be.....
With modern technology, she is as far away from you as Skype or IM.
Photographs can be sent over to OZ (and back) in two seconds. Think of the old days when a letter took six weeks to arrive.
You have seen the best years of her growing up, it's quite normal for teenagers to push their parents into the background a
bit, and focus on things that are important to them.....boyfriends, fashion etc.
Chin up, be glad that she is going to broaden her horizons a lot, she can always come back in 24 hours.
ps. I have a very good friend who moved to Brisbane twenty years ago, we chat on the net most nights. (morning for him)
Have a look at the international bolt on for O2, it allows you to nominate numbers there you can call for free and it gives you a local Australian number people can call to connect through to your mobile. £10 a month.
I have used it for some time, it's great, it means talking to Aussies is as easy as talking to people here.
I have used it for some time, it's great, it means talking to Aussies is as easy as talking to people here.
HenryJM said:
Have a look at the international bolt on for O2, it allows you to nominate numbers there you can call for free and it gives you a local Australian number people can call to connect through to your mobile. £10 a month.
I have used it for some time, it's great, it means talking to Aussies is as easy as talking to people here.
Yes mate!I have used it for some time, it's great, it means talking to Aussies is as easy as talking to people here.
Prawnboy said:
how does the court come to the decision she should be allowed to be taken to the other side of the world from most of her family, seems nuts.
Because judges pander to the mothers demands. I'm just surprised it dragged on so long. Probably more about looking to be fair than actually being so .....14 1/2 going on fifteen, she'll turn into a proper teenager very shortly and want nothing to do with you, you've had a lucky escape 
Spoken as a parent of fifteen and sixteen year old girls
I know mine live here half the time but I only see them for about three minutes a day and then they only communicate in grunts... In fact you'll probably communicate more with your daughter than most parents who have them living at home
Spoken as a parent of fifteen and sixteen year old girls
I know mine live here half the time but I only see them for about three minutes a day and then they only communicate in grunts... In fact you'll probably communicate more with your daughter than most parents who have them living at home
WinstonWolf said:
14 1/2 going on fifteen, she'll turn into a proper teenager very shortly and want nothing to do with you, you've had a lucky escape
Spoken as a parent of fifteen and sixteen year old girls
I know mine live here half the time but I only see them for about three minutes a day and then they only communicate in grunts... In fact you'll probably communicate more with your daughter than most parents who have them living at home
Fantastic Spoken as a parent of fifteen and sixteen year old girls
I know mine live here half the time but I only see them for about three minutes a day and then they only communicate in grunts... In fact you'll probably communicate more with your daughter than most parents who have them living at home
I must admit that I did have to think twice about posting on here but your posts have made my day!Sorry to hear your news
You deserve a medal for having to deal with Cafcas,the family courts and their attitude to fathers is long overdue a major overhall.
I have every sympathy for the F4J protesters.
As others have said keeping in touch to most places now is easy.
On the positive side your ex gets to deal with the rest of the teen years
Keep your chin up, she will be back in your life.
You deserve a medal for having to deal with Cafcas,the family courts and their attitude to fathers is long overdue a major overhall.
I have every sympathy for the F4J protesters.
As others have said keeping in touch to most places now is easy.
On the positive side your ex gets to deal with the rest of the teen years
Keep your chin up, she will be back in your life.
Prawnboy said:
how does the court come to the decision she should be allowed to be taken to the other side of the world from most of her family, seems nuts.
It is nuts but the bottom line is that she says wants to go....albeit with a massive amount of pressure applied by her mother. It would take ages to lists all the court hearings, meetings and stressful conversations that have been had over the last 1 1/12 years. The bottom line is that my beautiful girl is leaving.....I'll deal with it.I remember my 19yr old daughter when she turned 14. OMG it was like a light switch.
One minute I was the love of her life, held hands, had cuddles, talked about everything, called me daddy etc etc, the next minute I was an outcast. I quickly felt clumsy, old and boring as I failed to bond with her new world. Just talking to her seemed to irritate her
I think that in a few years (hopefully after 18) she will return a young woman with her own mind and ability to make her own decisions and come and live with you. once the beach, cool accents and party life has wained she will be missing you and blighty
Hope it works out - nothing is forever; she'll be back mate as you will always be her daddy.
One minute I was the love of her life, held hands, had cuddles, talked about everything, called me daddy etc etc, the next minute I was an outcast. I quickly felt clumsy, old and boring as I failed to bond with her new world. Just talking to her seemed to irritate her
I think that in a few years (hopefully after 18) she will return a young woman with her own mind and ability to make her own decisions and come and live with you. once the beach, cool accents and party life has wained she will be missing you and blighty
Hope it works out - nothing is forever; she'll be back mate as you will always be her daddy.
lord trumpton said:
I remember my 19yr old daughter when she turned 14. OMG it was like a light switch.
One minute I was the love of her life, held hands, had cuddles, talked about everything, called me daddy etc etc, the next minute I was an outcast. I quickly felt clumsy, old and boring as I failed to bond with her new world. Just talking to her seemed to irritate her
I think that in a few years (hopefully after 18) she will return a young woman with her own mind and ability to make her own decisions and come and live with you. once the beach, cool accents and party life has wained she will be missing you and blighty
Hope it works out - nothing is forever; she'll be back mate as you will always be her daddy.
I must admit.....I'm welling up here! Thanks. Lord One minute I was the love of her life, held hands, had cuddles, talked about everything, called me daddy etc etc, the next minute I was an outcast. I quickly felt clumsy, old and boring as I failed to bond with her new world. Just talking to her seemed to irritate her
I think that in a few years (hopefully after 18) she will return a young woman with her own mind and ability to make her own decisions and come and live with you. once the beach, cool accents and party life has wained she will be missing you and blighty
Hope it works out - nothing is forever; she'll be back mate as you will always be her daddy.
Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff