Child Maintenance - What is it supposed to cover?
Discussion
southendpier said:
Most schools run a seconds option for clothes. And gum shields can be purchased from say sports direct for a fraction of £50.
They can. But I'd rather pay the £50 now than the £5k later to get their teeth fixed. The Sports Direct boil in the bag ones aren't great. My dentist will take moulds and make sure my kids stay put. Good job their Mother cares about their welfare & upbringing really...
Gretchen said:
I've been sneaky and not bought their compulsory trousers at £16 a pair...! (I'd need to purchase at least 6 pairs). Another thread. Another piss boiler.
6 pairs!?!! I had one pair of trousers for school!And no, they weren't washed daily, they were washed once a week, it's called making do.
It should cover HALF of the child's living costs. £570 for 3 kids sounds plenty to me. There will be months where she doesn't need it all and months where she needs more. You can bet your bottom dollar she won't be saving any surplus for a rainy day (I.e school trips and uniforms).
I'd tell her to f
k right off you have to draw a line somewhere. Women are greedy s.
I'd tell her to f
k right off you have to draw a line somewhere. Women are greedy s.Gretchen said:
They can. But I'd rather pay the £50 now than the £5k later to get their teeth fixed. The Sports Direct boil in the bag ones aren't great. My dentist will take moulds and make sure my kids stay put.
Good job their Mother cares about their welfare & upbringing really...
Sorry. That's correct but rubbish at the same time. As someone who played rugby at a reasonable level, county level and for my regiment in the army, the only time I ever got a fitted gum shield was when someone else was paying. The only time I lost a tooth was when I was using this superior device, but by the time I'd woken up in a and e they had started putting it back in. Good job their Mother cares about their welfare & upbringing really...
If you believe for one second that an 11 year old is going to be rough enough in a contact sport for a generic gum shield to not be good enough your well wrong.
Andehh said:
No. Don't do this. This is being very very stupid & opening up a can of upset for everyone which YOU WILL LOOSE THE MOST and end up regretting it. Of course you can tell her to fk off when she next asks, but what do you think will happen when you next want to see the children, or fall ill and need to re-arrange it, or get called away on work and want to fit them in around that?
Agree wholeheartedly, k off when she next asks, but what do you think will happen when you next want to see the children, or fall ill and need to re-arrange it, or get called away on work and want to fit them in around that?Edited by Andehh on Saturday 23 August 17:30
I pay a nominal amount a month but pay all the "kid bills" in full, clothes, uniform, bus passes, trips, camp, etc.
All she really has to get from the money I pay is food, which it's plenty for.
After many bitter years we actually get on ok now. I get to see the bit whenever he or I want to.
Gretchen said:
southendpier said:
Most schools run a seconds option for clothes. And gum shields can be purchased from say sports direct for a fraction of £50.
They can. But I'd rather pay the £50 now than the £5k later to get their teeth fixed. The Sports Direct boil in the bag ones aren't great. My dentist will take moulds and make sure my kids stay put. Good job their Mother cares about their welfare & upbringing really...
OP, you need to be so so careful with advice from those not in similar situation. Fairness, equality, what's "right", what they'd do etc etc DO NOT come into it, and that's all they will sing & dance about.
I can't stress enough the fact you are paying for keeping the situation sweet. How sweet depends on how greedy and "proud" you are and how much you want to make a deal out of it.
Pistonheads is full of bitter divorces, custody battles and 5 figure legal bills from men too hot headed and vindictive to take a step back and bow down to the way these things just "are".
You have a good thing going and an acceptable balence, please do not upset it for the same of a bit of mone. That £100 you might get out of her won't come close to fixing the sleepless nights you could suffer...
I can't stress enough the fact you are paying for keeping the situation sweet. How sweet depends on how greedy and "proud" you are and how much you want to make a deal out of it.
Pistonheads is full of bitter divorces, custody battles and 5 figure legal bills from men too hot headed and vindictive to take a step back and bow down to the way these things just "are".
You have a good thing going and an acceptable balence, please do not upset it for the same of a bit of mone. That £100 you might get out of her won't come close to fixing the sleepless nights you could suffer...
Edited by Andehh on Sunday 24th August 20:58
Just wait till she tells you she's emigrating and taking your kids to Australia, you spend thousands in lawyers fees and going in and out of court for two years. ....... My daughters off to Australia in a couple of weeks and there's fk all I can do about it! I wish I was in your situation!
k all I can do about it! I wish I was in your situation!Mastodon2 said:
No wonder your ex won't pay up, £50 for a mouthguard is ridiculous, sounds you're in a racket with the dentist tbh. Get your kids Shock Doctor shields, they're excellent and a fraction of the price.
Their Dad won't pay half of a tenner let alone £50. What difference does it make? I'm paying it ALL. And it's on the schools recommendation too. Health n safety innit. One child needs years of dental work as teeth growing horizontally. I'm not taking any risks fking things up for him later in life. And x6 trousers is between two children. If I'm working 10 hour shifts, Who do you think is home to wash them?
croyde said:
swerni said:
We are talking about the same person who ran up a £5k+ phone bill while on holiday abroad?
You need to ask where your money goes ?
You a detective You need to ask where your money goes ?
Like I said, her main problem is budgeting
I had an agreement with my ex, that I would pay so much per month, plus half of school trips, uniforms, and clubs etc. However, she thought I was doing her over, and I thought I was paying her about right, possibly a little over what the CSA would say I should pay.
In the end she took me to the CSA, and lost about £30 a month, and I made it perfectly clear that if she got the CSA involved, she would get just what the CSA said I should pay. No halves on uniforms, trips etc.
She was happy with this for a while, but now finds it difficult as the school uniforms as above cost a fortune. However, I could never see my kids go without, so pay a little towards the uniforms (I usually buy either shoes or winter coats for them, as they will use these for other times, not just for school) I also give her a couple of hundred quid a year, in order for her to get clothes that they wear when they are with me. She is a much better shopper than I am, so it pays to do this.
She's happy, I'm happy, the kids have what they need.
In the end she took me to the CSA, and lost about £30 a month, and I made it perfectly clear that if she got the CSA involved, she would get just what the CSA said I should pay. No halves on uniforms, trips etc.
She was happy with this for a while, but now finds it difficult as the school uniforms as above cost a fortune. However, I could never see my kids go without, so pay a little towards the uniforms (I usually buy either shoes or winter coats for them, as they will use these for other times, not just for school) I also give her a couple of hundred quid a year, in order for her to get clothes that they wear when they are with me. She is a much better shopper than I am, so it pays to do this.
She's happy, I'm happy, the kids have what they need.
croyde said:
Well 3 kids, 7, 10 and 13 and according to the CSA it should be £570 a month as they do stay with me 1 or 2 nights a week.
Bargain!When my parents split in the early 70s, my 2 older brothers went to Dad's and I stayed with Mum. My Dad paid only £7/week then via the Courts. That equates to £44.02/week now, so for 3 children and paying monthly month would be £572, so only £2 off your CSA payment amount.
If I were to split with my wife, under local legislation now, she'd get the house, with me paying the mortgage, and I'd still have to pay all the bills on that and a minimum €1,000/month for my 2 children. The CSA aren't as bad as everyone thinks.
@ Gretchen: £400 on school uniform?! That's NUTS!
5potTurbo said:
@ Gretchen: £400 on school uniform?! That's NUTS!
I think it's about right for 2 children. I've just priced up what we've spent on one of ours (we've got 3) I got to £155 including trousers, shirts, pe kit, shoes and trainers. I stopped adding up before I got to the school jumpers with the school crest on etc as it was making my eyes water.Lukily for me my two boys are only 2.5 years apart so at least we get two goes on the jumpers etc. The shirts and trousers only last a school year through repeated washing.
We tend to find that the 2 boys got at most 1 or 2 days out of shirts and trousers before they need washing due to food / paint spillages. My daughter, the youngest, could get a 3 or 4 days out of the same uniform.
Kids are 8, 6 & 4.
Depending on growth rates over the school year you sometimes find you have to buy 2 pairs of shoes.
Not unusual for school uniforms especially when the schools insist on certain clothing. Two of mine are at private and my daughter's shirts can only be bought in one shop, I have searched the world for the same pattern to no avail, and they are £35 each. I'll never spend more than £20 on a shirt for myself 
I still remember the specialist school uniform shop that I had to go to when I went to secondary state school back in the 70s.
Blazer
Trousers
Shirts
Shoes
Tie
Badge
Football kit
Rugby kit
Football boots and Rugby boots
PE kit
Plimsols
Cost my cash strapped parents a pretty penny even back then.
We have spent around £500 on each kid at the start of secondary school then I go nuts when items get lost, ruined prematurely and have to be replaced.
Have just applied for a replacement zipcard for my son, to replace the replacement he managed to lose in a week. So that's 3 cards at a tenner a go and he hasn't even started term yet, thus has not been on a bus. Hello TFL have £30 for nothing
I still remember the specialist school uniform shop that I had to go to when I went to secondary state school back in the 70s.
Blazer
Trousers
Shirts
Shoes
Tie
Badge
Football kit
Rugby kit
Football boots and Rugby boots
PE kit
Plimsols
Cost my cash strapped parents a pretty penny even back then.
We have spent around £500 on each kid at the start of secondary school then I go nuts when items get lost, ruined prematurely and have to be replaced.
Have just applied for a replacement zipcard for my son, to replace the replacement he managed to lose in a week. So that's 3 cards at a tenner a go and he hasn't even started term yet, thus has not been on a bus. Hello TFL have £30 for nothing
Wow, I take it back!
When I was at school (I left in 1986) we simply had to wear black trousers, black jumper, white shirt, black shoes, black tie. It the early 80s that was very easy to find and buy cheaply. C&A and Top Man!
My children don't go to school in the UK, so they don't have uniforms. I often wish they would have uniforms though as peer pressure and early teens' demands for fashionable stuff probably costs as much as, if not more than, the uniforms.
When I was at school (I left in 1986) we simply had to wear black trousers, black jumper, white shirt, black shoes, black tie. It the early 80s that was very easy to find and buy cheaply. C&A and Top Man!
My children don't go to school in the UK, so they don't have uniforms. I often wish they would have uniforms though as peer pressure and early teens' demands for fashionable stuff probably costs as much as, if not more than, the uniforms.
Mastodon2 said:
Gretchen said:
southendpier said:
Most schools run a seconds option for clothes. And gum shields can be purchased from say sports direct for a fraction of £50.
They can. But I'd rather pay the £50 now than the £5k later to get their teeth fixed. The Sports Direct boil in the bag ones aren't great. My dentist will take moulds and make sure my kids stay put. Good job their Mother cares about their welfare & upbringing really...
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