Child Maintenance - What is it supposed to cover?

[Gretchen]

CasTiger7 said:

Mastodon2 said:

Gretchen said:

southendpier said:

Most schools run a seconds option for clothes. And gum shields can be purchased from say sports direct for a fraction of £50.

They can. But I'd rather pay the £50 now than the £5k later to get their teeth fixed. The Sports Direct boil in the bag ones aren't great. My dentist will take moulds and make sure my kids stay put.

Good job their Mother cares about their welfare & upbringing really...

No wonder your ex won't pay up, £50 for a mouthguard is ridiculous, sounds you're in a racket with the dentist tbh. Get your kids Shock Doctor shields, they're excellent and a fraction of the price.

This and the fact that when the shape of their teeth/jaw alters you can just remould simply. Also, the dentist moulded ones arent all that comfy.

Excellent. Thanks for the top tip on how not to spend my money on my children despite the advise of my reputable and trusted dentist.

I'm now considering the cheap option and a fk load of Vodka along with a night out with the girls on the piss. Give me your exes details and we could all get together for a belter. Since they obviously save their maintenance in much the same way as per your advice

[Mobile Chicane]

Do Local Authorities still offer vouchers for uniforms? Mine did, back in the day.

[ofcorsa]

CasTiger7 said:

This and the fact that when the shape of their teeth/jaw alters you can just remould simply. Also, the dentist moulded ones arent all that comfy.

Played rugby through school with a boil and bite. So did everyone else. No one ever had any issue. Boxed and competed MMA for years with a Shock Doctor. I'm sure dentists would love everyone to use custom shields though.

[photosnob]

ofcorsa said:

Played rugby through school with a boil and bite. So did everyone else. No one ever had any issue. Boxed and competed MMA for years with a Shock Doctor. I'm sure dentists would love everyone to use custom shields though.

Wouldn't bother mate. Her dentist has said an 11 year old will die if he doesn't have a Gucci gum shield.

I feel for the poor kid, rocking up with that, scrum cap and shoulder pads for his pe lesson. It's only when they tell him it's bone contact tag rugby that he'll really feel like a plank.

[duffy78]

Why all the vitriol against the doris who wants to buy the quality gum shield?

[randlemarcus]

photosnob said:

Wouldn't bother mate. Her dentist has said an 11 year old will die if he doesn't have a Gucci gum shield.

I feel for the poor kid, rocking up with that, scrum cap and shoulder pads for his pe lesson. It's only when they tell him it's bone contact tag rugby that he'll really feel like a plank.

Don't be a . She has not unreasonably, listened to dental advice from a dental professional. She may not have factored in the weighting he gives to his own products, especially when I suspect the school is also pushing professional fit mouthguards (my minibeasts also have this pushed at them).

From experience: the fitted ones are good, but not THAT much better than the self moulded ones, especially the more expensive ones from Sports Direct etc. They will need multiple over the course of a year, from loss, teeth growing etc etc, so consider that as an ongoing cost (you never know, the dentist one might be for the whole year, with five free replacements. Maybe).

Also consider that, in my son's case, for some odd reason he failed to be wearing it at registration, so the chair to the mouth means he has a nice implant now

[Mr Will]

Searider said:

As a Stepfather whose wife's son lives with us we've been in court and the judge advised his father that maintenance is for the basic living costs

Rent/rates ( larger house needed?)
Heating
Lighting
Council tax
Clothing
Transport ( family car?)
Food
Basic Family holiday
School books etc

This drives me mad. I makes sense when there is an absentee parent but not where care is shared. The dad still needs a bigger house, family car, family holiday, etc and they are the big costs. Even with a perfect 50/50 split in theory one parent still has to pay the other. How is that fair?

[theguvernor]

OP, i can give you honest & to the point advise, from my POV & having personal experience of CSA etc.

When my ex & i split up, she asked me if we could sort a 'private agreement' out, I.E. i pay her cash amount that we agree on, when she needed more it would be on a discretionary basis. This worked well until i asked for it to be done electronically or something of some record, either i pay a cheque, or into another account apart from the main one.
This was met with hostility, we eventually agreed on Paypal.
Things went through the courts reference access & at the same time, despite me paying an amount she had asked me to pay, she 'reported' me to the CSA, they basically phone you up give you the calculation etc & you have to start paying it.
Had she asked me for more & explained the situation i would of paid more, the CSA adds animosity & problems to a situation.
I now pay significantly more, but it's my responsibility, it will be interesting, now we have a court order in place for contact how much it will bring it down.
I subsequently cannot afford to buy a house now as i can't raise a sufficent deposit.
I've been asked to pay more for other stuff & i've firmly nipped it in the bud saying 'that's what the maintenance is for'.
If i gave her anymore i wouldn't be able to do nice things with my child on a weekend.

[croyde]

I'd love to pay just the CSA amount based on my wages. But I can't spite her without affecting the kids.

[Gretchen]

photosnob said:

ofcorsa said:

Played rugby through school with a boil and bite. So did everyone else. No one ever had any issue. Boxed and competed MMA for years with a Shock Doctor. I'm sure dentists would love everyone to use custom shields though.

Wouldn't bother mate. Her dentist has said an 11 year old will die if he doesn't have a Gucci gum shield.

I feel for the poor kid, rocking up with that, scrum cap and shoulder pads for his pe lesson. It's only when they tell him it's bone contact tag rugby that he'll really feel like a plank.

Gucci? Are you fking kidding me! As for wrapping my kids in cotton wool, you really have no idea about me or my children. The irony. I'd just rather my children have a decent smile to go with their polite personality when they're older. Unlike some.

Although if I go cheap on my kids, I could go Gucci on me? Is THAT what maintenance is for?


MC; (un)fortunately since I work there's no funding toward uniforms, or school trips etc.

Another £18 today for haircuts too. Though I'm sure some will refute that's too much. Again, I could whip out the clippers myself I suppose and have a spray tan for the same money?

[photosnob]

Gretchen said:

Gucci? Are you fking kidding me! As for wrapping my kids in cotton wool, you really have no idea about me or my children. The irony. I'd just rather my children have a decent smile to go with their polite personality when they're older. Unlike some.

Although if I go cheap on my kids, I could go Gucci on me? Is THAT what maintenance is for?


MC; (un)fortunately since I work there's no funding toward uniforms, or school trips etc.

Another £18 today for haircuts too. Though I'm sure some will refute that's too much. Again, I could whip out the clippers myself I suppose and have a spray tan for the same money?

Apologies for my tone. It was arrogant and not called for. Typing something on a keyboard means sometimes you don't think about what you are saying.

[soad]

Mobile Chicane said:

Do Local Authorities still offer vouchers for uniforms? Mine did, back in the day.

Only if on low income/unemployed/on benefits, shirley?

[Kentish]

If you pay through the CSA they now add 24% as they are profit making organisations now.

[randlemarcus]

Kentish said:

If you pay through the CSA they now add 24% as they are profit making organisations now.

Nearly.

If you currently pay through CSA, nothing changes. If there is a new claim, it goes through CMS, and there is a fee on both sides, i.e. you pay to pay, and pay to receive, but only if you do not pay directly to the parent with care.

[photosnob]

randlemarcus said:

Nearly.

If you currently pay through CSA, nothing changes. If there is a new claim, it goes through CMS, and there is a fee on both sides, i.e. you pay to pay, and pay to receive, but only if you do not pay directly to the parent with care.

Reality strikes - ladies will now get more money, as they will rightly point out if they go through CSA it will cost more anyway, and therefore it's better off going to the kids. Silly decision. I don't like government interference, however charging a levy is not right.

[GreatCornholio]

Lordbenny said:

Just wait till she tells you she's emigrating and taking your kids to Australia, you spend thousands in lawyers fees and going in and out of court for two years. ....... My daughters off to Australia in a couple of weeks and there's fk all I can do about it! I wish I was in your situation!

I feel for you

My ex is planning to move 200 miles away sometime next year and there's only a possibility that my 17yr old son will go with her and that's got me upset enough.

[GreatCornholio]

I have a private agreement with my ex and pay £260 for my 17 (nearly)yr old son.

I work 4 days on 4 off and my son stays with me for 3 nights most weeks. Having checked the CSA site and used their maintenance calculator it seems I should only be paying £145 per month.

I've paid this amount for years but frankly I've had enough. To be fair about it I'm planning to tell her that I'm reducing her maintenance to £200 per month but I know that she'll go totally off the deep end about this even though she's done ok out of me for many years.

[photosnob]

GreatCornholio said:

I have a private agreement with my ex and pay £260 for my 17 (nearly)yr old son.

I work 4 days on 4 off and my son stays with me for 3 nights most weeks. Having checked the CSA site and used their maintenance calculator it seems I should only be paying £145 per month.

I've paid this amount for years but frankly I've had enough. To be fair about it I'm planning to tell her that I'm reducing her maintenance to £200 per month but I know that she'll go totally off the deep end about this even though she's done ok out of me for many years.

So what? The lad isn't a kid anymore. It's not for you to carry her. I'd knock it down to £150 and offer to give the lad the extra 50 if he is studying.

[Fastchas]

Resurrecting this thread.

After 6 years of 50/50 custody of my two boys (13 & 8) I've decided to give it a go with my girlfriend and sell our respective houses, buying a place together.
I'll be moving out of the area so custody will be given to my ex. She has asked how much child maintenance I'll be giving her and I said I'm undecided as yet but the CMS website says £180pm. I earn £21k pa.

She isn't pleased with this amount and has reeled off the amount her partner pays for his kids, £350 a month maintenance, he pays for mobile phones, pocket money, dinner money, school uniforms, all school trips, trainers and winter coats. He has also paid for the first year driving lessons and a car!
She let it slip he earns £50k pa.

I think she wants me to pay for extra stuff especially when she won't get child tax credit when she moves in with him because of what he earns. I don't want some other bloke (especially him, the two of them broke up our marriage) subsidising my kids. Is he expected to pay more towards his keep of the (rented) property being the higher earner?

Is it correct I'm expected to pay more because her partner's earnings make her ineligible for CTC? Legally or morally? She tells me what she expects a good father to do, playing on my vulnerable side!

Edited by Fastchas on Monday 11th September 12:49

[Collectingbrass]

You just need to pay what the CMS site says, and don't forget it reduces for any nights they stay with you even if your ex wife has custody.

As for the rest, it's up to you. I did what I needed to do to keep contact with my kids.