Discussion
irocfan said:
I can see a world of hurt for the OP here... if said ex is as bats
t mental as claimed then all sorts of allegations will be flying around including inappropriate contact with her kids (it's an easy win for her)
Absolutely. t mental as claimed then all sorts of allegations will be flying around including inappropriate contact with her kids (it's an easy win for her)If she's already locking you out because she 'doesn't feel safe' she is setting you up for a massive arse f
king. Get out now, get a solicitor or it's going to get very messy, very very quickly....dont leave the former matrimonial home, biggest mistake I ever made!
dont lock her out, dont interfere with her in any way, move into a spare room and make it your own space, you can put a lock on this door but make sure you remove anything from the room she may have an interest in!
Hard to do and I wish I had done it in my situation but I never knew.
Ignore the threats from her solicitors telling you to leave the house and pay her money etc.... Only a court can order you to do either!
From what you have said her solicitors are going to make a packet
dont lock her out, dont interfere with her in any way, move into a spare room and make it your own space, you can put a lock on this door but make sure you remove anything from the room she may have an interest in!
Hard to do and I wish I had done it in my situation but I never knew.
Ignore the threats from her solicitors telling you to leave the house and pay her money etc.... Only a court can order you to do either!
From what you have said her solicitors are going to make a packet
OK folks,
I've moved back downstairs, with my stuff. 'Her' lock is still in place and functional but I have put a bolt on the kitchen door. She told me she'd been carrying a knife (fruit knife) on the advice of a counsellor! To be honest, if she's tanked, I don't trust her around knives.
I also put this to her...
I have 1/3rd of the house so I'll pay 1/3rd of the bills.
I can't access Sky TV so I'll stop paying for it.
We each get our own food, as she's pickier than me and is feeding the stepdaughter a lot.
The response was, 'all this is in the hands of my solicitor'.
Feminine logic.
By the way, I have her flagged up with the police 'cos I thought she'd deliberately damage my stuff. She's also know to 'Let Go', a local domestic violence outfit. She's thrown stuff at me and smashed a glass or two near me. I'm not a pussy but the verbal/psych abuse is serious.
I've moved back downstairs, with my stuff. 'Her' lock is still in place and functional but I have put a bolt on the kitchen door. She told me she'd been carrying a knife (fruit knife) on the advice of a counsellor! To be honest, if she's tanked, I don't trust her around knives.
I also put this to her...
I have 1/3rd of the house so I'll pay 1/3rd of the bills.
I can't access Sky TV so I'll stop paying for it.
We each get our own food, as she's pickier than me and is feeding the stepdaughter a lot.
The response was, 'all this is in the hands of my solicitor'.
Feminine logic.
By the way, I have her flagged up with the police 'cos I thought she'd deliberately damage my stuff. She's also know to 'Let Go', a local domestic violence outfit. She's thrown stuff at me and smashed a glass or two near me. I'm not a pussy but the verbal/psych abuse is serious.
snood said:
She told me she'd been carrying a knife (fruit knife) on the advice of a counsellor! To be honest, if she's tanked, I don't trust her around knives.
I rather suspect the police would be interested in that line of reasoning... IIRC there is NO valid excuse for carrying a knife (though obviously IANAL)irocfan said:
I rather suspect the police would be interested in that line of reasoning... IIRC there is NO valid excuse for carrying a knife (though obviously IANAL)
Ah well, she told me she was carrying the knife. It was just mentioned and now it was under her pillow, not carried. And I've deliberately unplugged the fridge upstairs now.
snood said:
irocfan said:
I rather suspect the police would be interested in that line of reasoning... IIRC there is NO valid excuse for carrying a knife (though obviously IANAL)
Ah well, she told me she was carrying the knife. It was just mentioned and now it was under her pillow, not carried. And I've deliberately unplugged the fridge upstairs now.Seems like you're stoking the fire a bit chap!
No, mate. She claims I've unplugged the fridge. In fact, I took the microwave off the top of the fridge last night. If that happened to pull the plug (v. unlikely) I didn't notice.
In wife world, this means I deliberately unplugged it. It's a typical, baseless accusation. In return, the hit the power switch on the TV I was watching downstairs. I just said "subtle" and "mature". She's locked the door now.
In wife world, this means I deliberately unplugged it. It's a typical, baseless accusation. In return, the hit the power switch on the TV I was watching downstairs. I just said "subtle" and "mature". She's locked the door now.
You are going to get rogered senseless by her solicitor. FFS get some advice tomorrow. Take action to protect your finances as well. Make sure she can't borrow money using your name/details.
Her kids don't sound like dependants despite her protestations so as long as you play it calm (suggest you keep a diary) as you might need to rely on it in court.
On the house funding issue and your parents can't you get old bank statements or transaction details?
Her kids don't sound like dependants despite her protestations so as long as you play it calm (suggest you keep a diary) as you might need to rely on it in court.
On the house funding issue and your parents can't you get old bank statements or transaction details?
Biggriff said:
You are going to get rogered senseless by her solicitor. FFS get some advice tomorrow. Take action to protect your finances as well. Make sure she can't borrow money using your name/details.
Her kids don't sound like dependants despite her protestations so as long as you play it calm (suggest you keep a diary) as you might need to rely on it in court.
On the house funding issue and your parents can't you get old bank statements or transaction details?
Thanks, Biggriff. Her kids don't sound like dependants despite her protestations so as long as you play it calm (suggest you keep a diary) as you might need to rely on it in court.
On the house funding issue and your parents can't you get old bank statements or transaction details?
Why be scared of her solicitor? I doubt I'll be summonsed by this person for giving the Mrs half a house and half a business. I've an appontment booked, for the free 30-minute consult, on the 4th Sept.
I've already acted re. money. Come tomorrow, she'll no longer be a signatory on the business account, which is in my name and always was. The joint 'transfer' account is overdrawn so there's only about £20 to steal. I'm also seriously overdrawn but have changed my online banking passcode and password.
Her 'kids' aren't dependents, any more than they're kids (30 & 34). One is on benefits up to the eyes, the other's on welfare/friends handouts in the US. I do, however, keep a detailed diary and have carefully logged all her abuse over the past four years or so. I even have a recording of her inviting me to "shut up and f
k off." Nice. I've also lots of info on the house funding - it was Mum who did that, Dad died in '81. I've every bill, for the purchase of the house, solicitors' fees, moving costs and about £26K's worth of 'improvements', all funded by my family.
Du1point8 said:
4 years of this and it makes me wonder why the OP even got married to her in the first place?
Many people change when they get married. Some because of the new state of mind that they are in, some because they wish to adapt to be a bit more like their partner, some because people do change over time and some because now they can drop the pretence at normality they have been keeping up for the last few years and feel safe to be the batst mental man/woman they are.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff