Wedding nonsense

[opieoilman]

I got married 10 days ago and it was a laid back effort, but all the better for it. Okay, there was a church ceremony, but the church is next door to the pub. We then went to the beach for a few photos, a drink and some time to ourselves. After that, it was back to the marquee in our neighbour's field for a bbq (the meat from a local butcher, salads and veggie option by me). There was a drink tent where people could help themselves and plenty of wine on the tables (courtesy of an offer in Tesco and a family members 10% discount card) and when dinner was done, an ice cream van showed up for desert. As there are stables in the field, some of the kids went on the horses for a bit, our dogs and the neighbours dogs came over for a bit. We had my mp3 player through the PA system (borrowed from the best man), then a band, followed by one member of the band dj-ing afterwards.

Our photographers are friends of mine, which saved us a fortune. Other than some guy trying to rip us off for a bbq, the price of photographers for a wedding is probably the most ridiculous price I came across. Some wanted £1200-1500 just for up until we left the church. My wife's dress was a bargain, a local wedding shop was closing down and she got a £1500 dress for £250. Very sensible as the bottom was covered in dirt within 5 minutes of getting to the field.

[Tiggsy]

Having just been to one...I can put up with most of it....apart from the nonsense of non-religious people using a church.

Almost as bad as people with no faith christening babies...wtf???

[Baryonyx]

KFC said:

Were you not a bit embarrassed to get the begging bowl out and guilt trip all your friends into giving you cash?

I would have been.

I'd have been pretty embarrassed if that's what I'd done! Of course, it's not what I did. I asked for donations rather than gifts, knowing that people would fulfil tradition and want to give me something*. Rather than collect hundreds of useless wine glasses, dinner sets, plaques, pictures and other junk. Our house is full of the appliances we need. Given that most of the money came in cards, guests could have easily sidestepped giving me anything is they so wanted (indeed, I'd rather than nowt than a useless dinner set). If you've got the initiative and wherewithal to actually ask for what you want, rather than smiling a stfaced grin and accepting loads of crap crockery, you too could have what you.

Having been to many weddings and given money towards the honeymoon, I quite like the fact my present will be appreciated. Much better than some naff gift that gathers dust in a cupboard and is wheeled out every time you go round ("oh, that, we use it all the time!").

[Vocal Minority]

opieoilman said:

Our photographers are friends of mine, which saved us a fortune. Other than some guy trying to rip us off for a bbq, the price of photographers for a wedding is probably the most ridiculous price I came across. Some wanted £1200-1500 just for up until we left the church

We're the same with the photographer - she's doing it as a wedding present to us, which is very sweet of her. However I will defend her on price, I have seen the results of some of the photographers who charge a few hundred, and the photos were pretty crummy tbh. My friends puts [i]hours[/] into photo editing after the ceremony etc and is up all hours doing it. Of you are paying for time (like you would any other professional) it makes sense.

You may not want excessive photos (we don't for example, which is why it's gratis) than a few hundred quid will probably do you nicely. But if you want the whole 9 yards, and many do, it's days of work. So say 3 days of work including ceremony at 7.5 hours each. So say £1300/22.5 = £57.78 per hour. That's including the value of the final product.

Some mechanics charge more than that!

[Mobile Chicane]

Digital photography has certainly brought prices down. No bad thing.

Back in 2001 when I got married, this technology wasn't so much in evidence, to the extent that a photographer in Plymouth could charge £1,000 for a few hours work.

Top London pros at the time weren't making that in a day.

[Pique]

The OH and I aren't married (yet) after 7 years, and are in no rush to do so - but we have agreed that when we do it will be abroad, with direct family only (excluding her parents who are divorced and not particularly close to us) plus a couple of close childhood friends who we will pay for flights/hotels for. We both have big extended families, but on both sides the families are divided by bickering and infighting, and we aren't fussed about sharing our wedding day with them. Sounds cold, but we'll both be happiest with a very small do having been to several weddings as described by the OP this year.

[ATG]

Congrats to N & J who had a separate bar at their wedding that just served tequila. Three different types so you could compare them and become better educated.

My wedding was epic, natch. Speeches short, booze plenty, fairly serious food, free bar and dancing plus quieter rooms where the elderly and those still capable of coherent speech could retreat. Bar bill indicated my cousins managed 96 G&Ts. I consider that a good metric of wedding quality.

[Huff]

I think we've all attended an OTT wedding from hell; when the whole matter can be as complex or as simple as you want to make it. It's the couple's day - no one elses. Examples:

Two old Uni friends of mine snuck off on holiday together (to France ) and happened to return, er, married - two witnesses found on street, no parents/family/hangers-on present, no banns etc, job done - to everyone's mild surprise; very them. Still together nearly 20yrs later.

I was Best Man for a close mate at a dressy wedding at St Paul's Covent Garden - fabulous day, but actually a very small affair - just very public. Wedding in chapel, cycle taxi 100yards into market, wedding breakfast in the market. Impromptu speech and stage direction required in front of ~billion tourists (great fun actually.)

And I worked with a guy some years ago who from the outset had a budget of £400 for the whole damn thing inc. rings - and beat it. It made him happy at least...

Me? not fallen for the ruse yet

[Randy Winkman]

I'm with the OP - it's all a pile of cr*p. The way people join in with social convention does interest me though.

What's the cheapest/quickest/most basic legal way of getting married in the UK? Can you do it by clicking on the internet yet?

[Tiggsy]

Almost. Mine cost £200 plus 5k honeymoon

[android]

Randy Winkman said:

I'm with the OP - it's all a pile of cr*p. The way people join in with social convention does interest me though.

What's the cheapest/quickest/most basic legal way of getting married in the UK? Can you do it by clicking on the internet yet?

It's all utter bks. Take her somewhere overseas on a beach infinitely more romantic than Clacton. You and her,uk weddings are a waste of space/time/money. Been to loads and I wish I could have that time back.

[lufbramatt]

We've had about 5 weddings to go to this year, and they've all been great apart from one, where the music was too loud, food wasn't great (a selection of very hot currys) and the venue which looked very posh but was baking hot and soul-less, this was probably the wedding that cost the most.

Went to one a couple of weeks ago where they had hired out a huge country house and it ended up being a 3 day long house party, really relaxed, couple of live bands, spent most of the sunday laying on the grass outside drinking (free) beer and playing football+cricket. We were camping 5 min walk down the road, only knew the couple getting married but their mates were great and made us feel really welcome. Can't complain much about that!