I work with a total bull¥$€#er!
Discussion
Crossflow Kid said:
Yes.
Whilst on one of many dets to the sandpit, a colleague of mine got an email of mixed emotions from his wife....a mixture of amused but concerned.
She'd been called in to their lad's school as "he keeps lying about his dad being a helicopter pilot in Iraq"
Life in a blue (or green) suit eh. I'm glad I haven't bothered with nippers. Can you imagine the looks they'd get? Whilst on one of many dets to the sandpit, a colleague of mine got an email of mixed emotions from his wife....a mixture of amused but concerned.
She'd been called in to their lad's school as "he keeps lying about his dad being a helicopter pilot in Iraq"
"What does your daddy do at weekends, Jonny?"
"Well Miss, on Saturday he plays badminton with the Prime Minister's chef, and on Sundays he plays Lacrosse with his fighter pilot buddies."
"Jonny, you do know that lying is wrong...?"
It'd be carnage.
Can't go without mentioning the shark strangling penguin molester. If you're gonna lie, lie big.
Lord Simon of Wensleydale.
BristolRich said:
^ Agreed.
All the guys I work with dont talk about it, and you respectfully dont ask.
There are the funny stories of playing "Freckles" and the many numerous anecdotes... none of it contains any discussion about the reasons why they were there, what they did, and what they saw...
Anyone who spends more than 5mins detailing what they "did" is pure BS.
Freckles....The one thing that is guaranteed to upset the new recruit and find out whether they are as mad as the rest of you. All the guys I work with dont talk about it, and you respectfully dont ask.
There are the funny stories of playing "Freckles" and the many numerous anecdotes... none of it contains any discussion about the reasons why they were there, what they did, and what they saw...
Anyone who spends more than 5mins detailing what they "did" is pure BS.
Agreed about ex forces keeping zipped.
A newbie at my place was next to me and the boss in the kitchen area, overheard the boss ask me something about the army, something about how will they get so much kit back when we leave Afghan.
The newbie happens to drop that he was in the SAS and was about to go in as a 4 man team to kill Osama but they sent the SEALS in instead a the last minute. Apparently no one knows this as it's all classified...... he's 19 and CV shows he was in college up until now.
A newbie at my place was next to me and the boss in the kitchen area, overheard the boss ask me something about the army, something about how will they get so much kit back when we leave Afghan.
The newbie happens to drop that he was in the SAS and was about to go in as a 4 man team to kill Osama but they sent the SEALS in instead a the last minute. Apparently no one knows this as it's all classified...... he's 19 and CV shows he was in college up until now.
Edited by dancole90 on Wednesday 27th August 15:22
Strangled a shark with an eel ... priceless. Why did he not pick up a swordfish and stab it?
My contribution is a bloke i used to work with: - "My dad's got an M3, i borrow it to pick my girlfriend (model) up from college" get round his house and meet his nice but not a model GF, there's a Rover 600 on the drive "M3 is in getting serviced" etc "Could play for in the Prem or cricket for England but can't be fussed" etc etc
My contribution is a bloke i used to work with: - "My dad's got an M3, i borrow it to pick my girlfriend (model) up from college" get round his house and meet his nice but not a model GF, there's a Rover 600 on the drive "M3 is in getting serviced" etc "Could play for in the Prem or cricket for England but can't be fussed" etc etc
When I was a student I worked in a warehouse taking clothes out of boxes and putting them on hangers. There was about a dozen of us students and the same number of permanent workers, most of which were older ladies who had been doing it for years. Amongst them however was a bloke in his late 40’s- a lovely bloke but looked like a 20 stone version of Angelos from Shooting Stars.
Apparently he’s been both a Navy SEAL and in the SAS. He’d seen time in the Falklands and was still called back every now and again to advise on tactical matters. He’d regale us with stories, some of which we’d recognise as snippets from movies. The corker though was the time he told us that the year before a harrier had hovered outside the warehouse on his birthday, bowed its nose at him as he arrived at work, then flew off. This was outside a busy warehouse in a busy industrial estate next to a busy main road that was surrounded by houses, and no-one else saw it.
When challenged on this point he said that they were a stealth aircraft and looked smug…
Apparently he’s been both a Navy SEAL and in the SAS. He’d seen time in the Falklands and was still called back every now and again to advise on tactical matters. He’d regale us with stories, some of which we’d recognise as snippets from movies. The corker though was the time he told us that the year before a harrier had hovered outside the warehouse on his birthday, bowed its nose at him as he arrived at work, then flew off. This was outside a busy warehouse in a busy industrial estate next to a busy main road that was surrounded by houses, and no-one else saw it.
When challenged on this point he said that they were a stealth aircraft and looked smug…
During my 14 weeks in ATR Winchester, we had a 20 year old recruit that said he'd driven and considered buying a TVR Cerbera Speed 12 but chose the Army as a Medic instead.
Had a chap, after finding out I was a petrol head, start talking about his sons Evo 6. One night after a few beers, they were pulling out of a pub at one end of Coventry and blue lights appeared. The son wasn't in the mood to be stopped and so, within a few minutes near 300 mph, they lost the chopper, police cars and bikes that were chasing them and were free to slow down. Oddly enough, despite running red lights and doing close to 300 for a few minutes, they were only a few miles from the pub.
That Evo story made me feel so horrible, just listening to him.
One other "made up" story I was told was by a middle aged man. One of the few to have been dropped into Somolia and rescue some prisoners. I stood listening to him and couldn't tell if he was telling the truth. Once he mentioned how he'd never forget the state of the prisoners, I asked where he trained, hoping for a familiar ATR, he said he couldn't remember. I asked him if he remembered his number and he said he couldn't remember of the top of his head.
Had a chap, after finding out I was a petrol head, start talking about his sons Evo 6. One night after a few beers, they were pulling out of a pub at one end of Coventry and blue lights appeared. The son wasn't in the mood to be stopped and so, within a few minutes near 300 mph, they lost the chopper, police cars and bikes that were chasing them and were free to slow down. Oddly enough, despite running red lights and doing close to 300 for a few minutes, they were only a few miles from the pub.
That Evo story made me feel so horrible, just listening to him.
One other "made up" story I was told was by a middle aged man. One of the few to have been dropped into Somolia and rescue some prisoners. I stood listening to him and couldn't tell if he was telling the truth. Once he mentioned how he'd never forget the state of the prisoners, I asked where he trained, hoping for a familiar ATR, he said he couldn't remember. I asked him if he remembered his number and he said he couldn't remember of the top of his head.
Edited by read5458 on Wednesday 27th August 16:12
A chap my wife used to work with was a bit of a BS'er and told some wild tales. Anyway, didnt want to call them out, but did when he claimed to have a collection of 9 Aston Martins including a DB3, DB4 and a DB6! Well, I called bull on that and the claim that he competed in an international classic car rally in a famous lightweight E-type.
Cue the pictures and the explanation... boy did I feel small.
Cue the pictures and the explanation... boy did I feel small.
off_again said:
A chap my wife used to work with was a bit of a BS'er and told some wild tales. Anyway, didnt want to call them out, but did when he claimed to have a collection of 9 Aston Martins including a DB3, DB4 and a DB6! Well, I called bull on that and the claim that he competed in an international classic car rally in a famous lightweight E-type.
Cue the pictures and the explanation... boy did I feel small.
http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=210&t=1438797&mid=179551&nmt=A+bull%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A%2A+who+wasn%26apos%3Bt+actually%3FCue the pictures and the explanation... boy did I feel small.
Alfahorn said:
It's hilarious sometimes but mostly it's quite sad. I don't know why people do it, I wonder whether they are actually ill.
I'm also genuinely interested in the psychological condition of any adult that persistently spouts such bulls
t! There surely must be a strong correlation between such bullstters and life's abject failures.And why are these chancers so fixated by Special Forces? From my experience, there must be more ex SAS / SBS types propping up the bars of England than former members of the Chinese army! The one I remember best was a wimpy, middle aged regular at my local whose present danger-filled career involved selling life insurance for the Co-Op.... His constant wish to top anything you had ever done was just tiring and if I could avoid him, I would. Most people did the same or just teased him.
In my teens I had a friend who came up with this kind of nonsense all the time. I still remember his claim that his mother - a nice, middle-aged woman, unrelated to Evil Knievel - had merrily barrel-rolled her Cortina on the way to the shops. She'd hit a bank on a local twisty road, taken off and, 360 degrees later, landed on all four wheels and nonchalantly carried on.
Another one was that he and his girlfriend had - in a night of passion - substituted a strategically applied strip of Sellotape for a condom. Not so much "what?" as "ouch!"
In my teens I had a friend who came up with this kind of nonsense all the time. I still remember his claim that his mother - a nice, middle-aged woman, unrelated to Evil Knievel - had merrily barrel-rolled her Cortina on the way to the shops. She'd hit a bank on a local twisty road, taken off and, 360 degrees later, landed on all four wheels and nonchalantly carried on.
Another one was that he and his girlfriend had - in a night of passion - substituted a strategically applied strip of Sellotape for a condom. Not so much "what?" as "ouch!"
read5458 said:
I asked him if he remembered his number and he said he couldn't remember of the top of his head.
I've caught people out by asking them this. A few times it has turned out that the "Afghan hero" is trying to join the Army or has no forces link at all. If you don't remember your number. You were not in the forces.
Edited by Pebbles167 on Wednesday 27th August 18:12
We had one in our group as teenagers. Just a constant flow of bullst. For example, the time he and a local known villain were being chased by the police because they'd just pulled off an armed robbery and the police cornered them and they had to get out the car with their hands up and drop their guns, they were surrounded and the police helicopter was hovering above them and everything. He was 13 when he told us this story.
Unfortunately for him his surname was Fuller so I'll let you guess what we nicknamed him.
t. For example, the time he and a local known villain were being chased by the police because they'd just pulled off an armed robbery and the police cornered them and they had to get out the car with their hands up and drop their guns, they were surrounded and the police helicopter was hovering above them and everything. He was 13 when he told us this story. Unfortunately for him his surname was Fuller so I'll let you guess what we nicknamed him.
blaupfeil said:
From my experience, there must be more ex SAS / SBS types propping up the bars of England than former members of the Chinese army!
The real Army would appear to agree
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