I work with a total bull¥$€#er!
Discussion
I used to work with someone like this. Highlights include:
Sleeping with over 350 women
Being offered a black ops mission in Syria, but turning it down as he didn't want to be away from his family
Having a brother who was a high flying lawyer in America (his brother works on the floor below)
Being paid 10 grand to build a PC so powerful it needed liquid nitrogen cooling
Going to America to work on the next Call of Duty game
Walking to his Dad's house in Wiltshire (from Plymouth) once a month, camping by the side of the road each night
Sleeping with over 350 women
Being offered a black ops mission in Syria, but turning it down as he didn't want to be away from his family
Having a brother who was a high flying lawyer in America (his brother works on the floor below)
Being paid 10 grand to build a PC so powerful it needed liquid nitrogen cooling
Going to America to work on the next Call of Duty game
Walking to his Dad's house in Wiltshire (from Plymouth) once a month, camping by the side of the road each night
Olivera said:
Alfahorn said:
It's hilarious sometimes but mostly it's quite sad. I don't know why people do it, I wonder whether they are actually ill.
I'm also genuinely interested in the psychological condition of any adult that persistently spouts such bulls
t! There surely must be a strong correlation between such bullstters and life's abject failures.djfaulkner said:
I'm posting from a submarine at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean, tapping into the Columbus-III underwater fibre connection.
Meh, I installed Columbus. That and my current day job as Hubble Telescope lens Polisher. Can't talk no though. Going out of radio contact. Setting back down at base, on the far side of the Moon. Be out of radio contact for a whiFalsey said:
Studio117 said:
We call him 2 sts.
Pinched one out at lunch time? He's done two even bigger ones.
Do we work in the same office? We have a two sts. Pinched one out at lunch time? He's done two even bigger ones.
ts here too.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_K2Zj9UcCU
Crossflow Kid said:
Thought these summed it up well 
http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/Little-known_Facts_abo...
http://www.arrse.co.uk/wiki/The_Special_Air_Servic...
Edited by Pickled on Wednesday 27th August 19:55
Oh!
I know someone who claimed that, because he got on so well with the mechanics, his Ford Ka left Jennings with an extra 20BHP after a standard service.
It's not what you know, it's who you know!
(Poor chap must have assumed I was equally clueless of internal combustion engines as he was)
I know someone who claimed that, because he got on so well with the mechanics, his Ford Ka left Jennings with an extra 20BHP after a standard service.
It's not what you know, it's who you know!
(Poor chap must have assumed I was equally clueless of internal combustion engines as he was)
JimmyConwayNW said:
I know a guy who runs a printing and sign business. He has been claiming he is getting a range rover for over 10years that I've known/known of him.
He went on holiday to Dubai and claimed someone fell into a water tank at the aquarium with a shark.
She was really fit so he jumped in to save her and strangled a shark with an eel.
Once he said no one would fight him in his home town of sandbach because he was so feared and notorious. To keep on top of his ultra bad persona he then had to show his strength. He knocked out a cow by kicking it in
The balls.
When putting up signs at Knowsley Safari park he was given closed access to the park. Using an l200 truck he was
Doing a few drifts and managed to drift it into a penguin. Chucked the penguin in the back and put it in a bin on the way home.
Loves pretending he is 'dodgy' and likes to give the impression he is a drug dealer. Told the wrong person and the police raided his house
There are far more than that.
Good job the penguin keeper wasn't ex sas He went on holiday to Dubai and claimed someone fell into a water tank at the aquarium with a shark.
She was really fit so he jumped in to save her and strangled a shark with an eel.
Once he said no one would fight him in his home town of sandbach because he was so feared and notorious. To keep on top of his ultra bad persona he then had to show his strength. He knocked out a cow by kicking it in
The balls.
When putting up signs at Knowsley Safari park he was given closed access to the park. Using an l200 truck he was
Doing a few drifts and managed to drift it into a penguin. Chucked the penguin in the back and put it in a bin on the way home.
Loves pretending he is 'dodgy' and likes to give the impression he is a drug dealer. Told the wrong person and the police raided his house
There are far more than that.
from arrse said:
During the Falklands Conflict the SAS pioneered the use of specially trained exploding penguins.
cheddar said:
A friends facebook page shows him on a ski-doo with his life description "Basically retired and loving the highlife, dabble in the odd bit of property to keep me amused but otherwise it's all just fun fun fun"
In reality he's selling frying pans at markets, 500k in debt, has 60k on his credit card and is about to lose his house.
The ceramic non-stick ones? If so I think I knocked £20 off your mates overdraft on bank holiday Monday In reality he's selling frying pans at markets, 500k in debt, has 60k on his credit card and is about to lose his house.
One of my best mates is known for his tall stories, although they are nothing like some of the whoppers already listed here!
I think with him it was an inferiority complex more than anything else. He is an intelligent guy and likes to lord it over you, mildly mocking someone for not knowing a little known fact or event. Amongst our group of friends though he has many years experience of telling tall tails to make him sound better than he was.
In the fifteen years I've known him, I've only seen him have one girlfriend and that only lasted a few months. He would however end up sleeping with dozens of girls whenever he went home to Nottingham a couple of times a year to see his family - except whenever I've been up there with him to have a night in the city, he tramps about unshaven and wearing computer game t-shirts getting no attention whatsoever.
He used to work on the Wines & Spirits section of our local supermarket, and because of his extensive knowledge of booze his friends in Nottingham called him "The Connoisseur". Except nobody called him that whenever I visited the city and saw his friends.
He had a blatant crush on my ex-girlfriend, and would say all sorts to try and impress her, even mock me in front of her for not knowing something to try and make himself look a better person than me. One night in the pub my ex was talking about having been to see the Rocky Horror show in the past, and had gotten all dressed up with her friends for the event. He then went on to describe how he had also been to see the show and dressed up, as well as getting in the isles to sing and dance. Several months later the conversation came up again, but oddly this time he said he'd never been to see it. When I called him out on it he got very abrupt and became angry suggesting that I was making things up to discredit him.
Compared to the stories here my mate is very tame, but its quite sad to see him spin these mild tales that could almost be true, but regularly get debunked only for him to become angry and state he has never said such things. On one occasion in the pub a few of us called him out on a story, had the verbal evidence to back it up, and he became so wound up he got up and went home.
I think some people just wish they were better than they actually are, and resort to creating stories in order to make themselves sound the way they would rather be.
I think with him it was an inferiority complex more than anything else. He is an intelligent guy and likes to lord it over you, mildly mocking someone for not knowing a little known fact or event. Amongst our group of friends though he has many years experience of telling tall tails to make him sound better than he was.
In the fifteen years I've known him, I've only seen him have one girlfriend and that only lasted a few months. He would however end up sleeping with dozens of girls whenever he went home to Nottingham a couple of times a year to see his family - except whenever I've been up there with him to have a night in the city, he tramps about unshaven and wearing computer game t-shirts getting no attention whatsoever.
He used to work on the Wines & Spirits section of our local supermarket, and because of his extensive knowledge of booze his friends in Nottingham called him "The Connoisseur". Except nobody called him that whenever I visited the city and saw his friends.
He had a blatant crush on my ex-girlfriend, and would say all sorts to try and impress her, even mock me in front of her for not knowing something to try and make himself look a better person than me. One night in the pub my ex was talking about having been to see the Rocky Horror show in the past, and had gotten all dressed up with her friends for the event. He then went on to describe how he had also been to see the show and dressed up, as well as getting in the isles to sing and dance. Several months later the conversation came up again, but oddly this time he said he'd never been to see it. When I called him out on it he got very abrupt and became angry suggesting that I was making things up to discredit him.
Compared to the stories here my mate is very tame, but its quite sad to see him spin these mild tales that could almost be true, but regularly get debunked only for him to become angry and state he has never said such things. On one occasion in the pub a few of us called him out on a story, had the verbal evidence to back it up, and he became so wound up he got up and went home.
I think some people just wish they were better than they actually are, and resort to creating stories in order to make themselves sound the way they would rather be.
Crossflow Kid said:
Negative Creep said:
Being paid 10 grand to build a PC so powerful it needed liquid nitrogen cooling
That made me chuckle 
(Still not a patch on shark-strangling though - sorry)
Sadly they are usually disappointed. Frankly I really don't want to see a computer or a server when I get home so my 5 year old pc acting as a file server,a tablet and a chrome cast must take the wind out of their sails somewhat
i was having dinner this evening with a young colleague. he was telling me that one of his dad's farmer friends lost 200,000 acres of land in a card game. its ok though, thats only a small % of what he had to begin with....
called BS but he was adamant its true, then proceeded to tell me all sorts of stories about how rich his dad's mates are, how many houses his dad owns, that his grandad left him a tidy sum and the money he makes of that means he's not bothered about his low salary, etc etc. told me the name of his PA and the stocks he's invested in as though he thought i would care.
called BS but he was adamant its true, then proceeded to tell me all sorts of stories about how rich his dad's mates are, how many houses his dad owns, that his grandad left him a tidy sum and the money he makes of that means he's not bothered about his low salary, etc etc. told me the name of his PA and the stocks he's invested in as though he thought i would care.
Brigand said:
I think some people just wish they were better than they actually are, and resort to creating stories in order to make themselves sound the way they would rather be.
this. or that they think it'll make people respect them somehow. i find people like this pretty 2 dimensional. usually knowledgeable about a very narrow/obscure sobject or other as well and will try and rip into you for getting something factually incorrect within their sphere of knowledge. then you point out a flaw in their BS story and they go off in a huff.dancole90 said:
The newbie happens to drop that he was in the SAS and was about to go in as a 4 man team to kill Osama but they sent the SEALS in instead a the last minute. Apparently no one knows this as it's all classified...... he's 19 and CV shows he was in college up until now. 
As he was killed in May 2011 - your matey would have likely been still in school - doubt many can get recruited into the Army and take the SAS entry tests etc in less than a year.Edited by dancole90 on Wednesday 27th August 15:22
elanfan said:
dancole90 said:
The newbie happens to drop that he was in the SAS and was about to go in as a 4 man team to kill Osama but they sent the SEALS in instead a the last minute. Apparently no one knows this as it's all classified...... he's 19 and CV shows he was in college up until now.
As he was killed in May 2011 - your matey would have likely been still in school - doubt many can get recruited into the Army and take the SAS entry tests etc in less than a year.Edited by dancole90 on Wednesday 27th August 15:22
- Having sex while piloting a helicopter.
- Landing the helicopter on the roof of a petrol station when they'd run out of fuel to fill it up.
- Worked for a guy that had an Austin Princess with an F1 engine installed but was otherwise completely standard.
- The old Triumph motorcycle with an F1 engine in the sidecar.
- Strutting around in 'fatigues' when the original Gulf war started claiming that he was 'on call' to fly out at short notice. The American Gov't provided him with a pager and he had to carry 50p on him at all times in case the pager went off so he could make a phonecall and they could send a chopper to pick him up.
- Carrying a replica gun around as part of the get up.
- Catching speeding motorists using a 40' cardboard cut out lorry as a decoy. (He was in the specials for a wee bit.)
There are hundreds of stories about this guy but he's a really nice bloke that would do anything for you.
He did have a bit of a troubled and abusive childhood though so I always felt like I was kicking a puppy when I pulled him up on his tales.
He ended up marrying a lesbian and having two children with her. She's not a lesbian any more and she seems to have straightened him out a bit but he's still really naive. (She's quite hot though!)
He is a good mate though and I try to help him out when I can.
Not the same guy as the copper though! He's another kettle of fish altogether and potentially dangerous too IMO.
- Landing the helicopter on the roof of a petrol station when they'd run out of fuel to fill it up.
- Worked for a guy that had an Austin Princess with an F1 engine installed but was otherwise completely standard.
- The old Triumph motorcycle with an F1 engine in the sidecar.
- Strutting around in 'fatigues' when the original Gulf war started claiming that he was 'on call' to fly out at short notice. The American Gov't provided him with a pager and he had to carry 50p on him at all times in case the pager went off so he could make a phonecall and they could send a chopper to pick him up.
- Carrying a replica gun around as part of the get up.
- Catching speeding motorists using a 40' cardboard cut out lorry as a decoy. (He was in the specials for a wee bit.)
There are hundreds of stories about this guy but he's a really nice bloke that would do anything for you.
He did have a bit of a troubled and abusive childhood though so I always felt like I was kicking a puppy when I pulled him up on his tales.
He ended up marrying a lesbian and having two children with her. She's not a lesbian any more and she seems to have straightened him out a bit but he's still really naive. (She's quite hot though!)
He is a good mate though and I try to help him out when I can.
Not the same guy as the copper though! He's another kettle of fish altogether and potentially dangerous too IMO.
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