I work with a total bull¥$€#er!
Discussion
Adenauer said:
-kicks omgus in the balls-
Call that a kick in the balls?When i was captured by the Taliban they told me they'd let me go if i could manage to take a kick in the nadgers from every single person in their cave.
No problem, in fact 3 of them broke their foot when they kicked me.
omgus said:
Adenauer said:
-kicks omgus in the balls-
Call that a kick in the balls?When i was captured by the Taliban they told me they'd let me go if i could manage to take a kick in the nadgers from every single person in their cave.
No problem, in fact 3 of them broke their foot when they kicked me.
GC8 said:
Jaldi said:
davhill said:
One of his was the tale of his having had a trip in a light aircraft, in which the tailplane control cables snapped. The pilot nursed it into the planned airfield. Now I'm no aeronautical expert but I know that, if any aircraft loses its tail end stuff, it will...
(a) Hurtle headlong into the ground.
(b) Climb uncontrollably, stall and hurtle headlong, etc.
Not always .... (a) Hurtle headlong into the ground.
(b) Climb uncontrollably, stall and hurtle headlong, etc.
United Airlines Flight 232
GroundEffect said:
That's the vertical stabiliser, not the most critical component - they're used to control yaw and roll stability. If you're very careful you could fly that back. Losing the elevators? Not much chance!
Yeah you could. Happen to my dad when he was flying. He just got the co-pilot to run to the back of the plane to make it climb and run forward to pitch down. foreright said:
Twithag said:
Since then we've learnt that his dad can ... pick a boiled egg straight out of the pan with his bare hands while still boiling.
^ Just what would possess someone to make this up? 
foreright said:
Twithag said:
Since then we've learnt that his dad can ... pick a boiled egg straight out of the pan with his bare hands while still boiling.
^ Just what would possess someone to make this up? 
k, you little hot fking piece of y, y, motherfking ow, fk, fk, fk, gotcha you little " followed by "told you i could fking do it" in many a kitchen when you can't find the right utensil. Had a good one today from a supplier who when he had a 320d with body kit that it was a 4 litre v8 Harte special...
Was meeting him prior to taking him to see a client, he suggested we go to the meeting in my car as his brand new Audi had gone in for warranty work on the engine and they'd given him a Y reg 'crap bucket' - he'd unfortunately written off his E class Merc previously in an accident.
Turn up and he's in a fairly clean 330Ci E46 pre-facelift.
I tell him there's nothing wrong with that, he says not after his E class AMG or his monster BM.
The Y reg plate was the same personalised reg he had on his 320d last time I saw him.
No reason to lie... But strangely felt the need.
Was meeting him prior to taking him to see a client, he suggested we go to the meeting in my car as his brand new Audi had gone in for warranty work on the engine and they'd given him a Y reg 'crap bucket' - he'd unfortunately written off his E class Merc previously in an accident.
Turn up and he's in a fairly clean 330Ci E46 pre-facelift.
I tell him there's nothing wrong with that, he says not after his E class AMG or his monster BM.
The Y reg plate was the same personalised reg he had on his 320d last time I saw him.
No reason to lie... But strangely felt the need.
arfur sleep said:
Had a recovery agency come to see me at work over some money the business was owed.
He wore a short sleeve shirt and during the meeting I notice a SAS crest tattoo on his bicep. He notices me noticing, smiles and pulls it up to reveal the legend BASRA 2005 above it.
He looks me in the eye and says, "You know what happened. We did what we needed to do." and then carries on talking. There's a couple of other SAS references thrown in and now I'm biting my lip trying not to ask what colour the boathouse is at Hereford. He missed that there was a very visible webcam in the room not 4 feet from him when he was talking about it was good there was no way he was being recorded so he could talk about the shady side of money recovery...
I just didn't buy that this at least 22 stone bloke who looked as shifty as the day is long, who couldn't spell or speak without mangling the grammar had ever been a soldier let alone in the SAS. He didn't strike me as military (and I know a few) in his bearing particularly - he was just disheveled.
I got the distinct feeling he was a wannabe SAS fantasist.
His company did a crap job and we never got the money back.
OMFG this has to be berk we used to "collect" a £20k dept of some less settled members of the community. Did he give the whole spiel about how he would stop at nothing, go to wife at school gates/ hairdressers etc?He wore a short sleeve shirt and during the meeting I notice a SAS crest tattoo on his bicep. He notices me noticing, smiles and pulls it up to reveal the legend BASRA 2005 above it.
He looks me in the eye and says, "You know what happened. We did what we needed to do." and then carries on talking. There's a couple of other SAS references thrown in and now I'm biting my lip trying not to ask what colour the boathouse is at Hereford. He missed that there was a very visible webcam in the room not 4 feet from him when he was talking about it was good there was no way he was being recorded so he could talk about the shady side of money recovery...
I just didn't buy that this at least 22 stone bloke who looked as shifty as the day is long, who couldn't spell or speak without mangling the grammar had ever been a soldier let alone in the SAS. He didn't strike me as military (and I know a few) in his bearing particularly - he was just disheveled.
I got the distinct feeling he was a wannabe SAS fantasist.
His company did a crap job and we never got the money back.
Oddly enough we paid him £2000 for his company to do a really really really s
t job. 2 weeks later phone call to say, nothing he could do... Tbh I don't think he is an SAS fantasist, just a bit of a con man, who uses the SAS thing as part of his con
Brother D said:
GroundEffect said:
That's the vertical stabiliser, not the most critical component - they're used to control yaw and roll stability. If you're very careful you could fly that back. Losing the elevators? Not much chance!
Yeah you could. Happen to my dad when he was flying. He just got the co-pilot to run to the back of the plane to make it climb and run forward to pitch down. hora said:
Wow I'd love to hear more about that B52's story
Ask anything you like, I flew it back single handed after I had ordered the rest of the crew to bail out.On the way back the plane was attacked by three 109s but I managed to shoot one of the down with my pistol through the smashed cockpit window. I'm an excellent shot as my dad used to teach the SAS to shoot and trained me as well.
At one point I had to fix one of the engines by walking out on to the wing. Luckily my uncle was the Head Engineer and designed the engines in America so I was actually able to tune it to give more power as well.
They wanted to give me loads of medals but I said that I didn't want the publicity as my model girlfriend might get upset so I quit and that's why I work in this petrol station. However if the phone rings it might be the Queen asking for my help so I might have to leave an hour early, if that's okay?
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