I work with a total bull¥$€#er!

[9mm]

Tuvra said:

9mm said:

All her boyfriends are hung like donkeys and she's the only girl that can accommodate them.

Why on earth would a woman brag about that? That's the oddest one yet!

From memory, that one was connected to one of her key fantasies that she was some kind of sex goddess. I honestly can't remember with any certainty but I think a high percentage of these boyfriends were also multi-millionaires who had lavished fortunes on her. She lived in a one bed flat in East Grinstead. One thing I've just remembered was how much of an attention seeker she was. She invited some of the other girls round to her flat one night and a couple of hours into the evening had some kind of massive seizure/fitting episode. She was taken to the hospital, major drama all round, but turned up right as rain at work the following morning with some story about it being a rare virus that the doctors at the hospital had never seen before but she had 'rare blood' which was particularly effective at fighting it. Anyone else would have died.

[selym]

Shambler said:

I used to work with a bullstter that used to be in the armed forces in Northern Ireland. He told me that they used to spy on the IRA with binoculars. Although these weren't any binoculars, apparently they could give people cancer by looking at them.

What better way to deal with the enemy? Imprison, shoot them, OR give them a disease which will take years to kill them (if indeed it ever does). If you look at their groin, does it give them testicular cancer?

[selym]

Asterix said:

northwest monkey said:

he was the getaway driver for the Triads

Excellent

All of them? What was he driving, a coach?

[AstonZagato]

I

selym said:

Shambler said:

I used to work with a bullstter that used to be in the armed forces in Northern Ireland. He told me that they used to spy on the IRA with binoculars. Although these weren't any binoculars, apparently they could give people cancer by looking at them.

What better way to deal with the enemy? Imprison, shoot them, OR give them a disease which will take years to kill them (if indeed it ever does). If you look at their groin, does it give them testicular cancer?

I might be about to get a whoosh parrot here but I met a chap a few years ago who was ex-British army - not a Walt as far as I could make out.

He'd lost his right eye. I asked him how. His response was that he'd spent many weeks laid up in Northern Irish ditches watching IRA players through 1st gen night vision telescopic sights. They ahead been poorly maintained and had caused cancer. It would appear plausible (early NVGs have been blamed for radiation) and his military record seemed to check out (an army mate knew him and suggested he wasn't a fantasist - though without confirming or denying that he would know the colour of the boathouse doors at Hereford).

So the British Army sights could cause cancer (maybe) but only to the people looking through them.

[northwest monkey]

selym said:

Asterix said:

northwest monkey said:

he was the getaway driver for the Triads

Excellent

All of them? What was he driving, a coach?

He'd claim it was a jumbo jet if you'd suggested it to him

He really is an odd fish this lad - there are pictures of him on Facebook of him sat in a car (R8 I think) which he told us he'd been given it for "dealing with some nasty business for a gangster". The thing is, if you look at the picture closely it's clearly been taken in a showroom. Like I said - odd or just a fantasist.

[9mm]

hora said:

9mm said:

From memory, that one was connected to one of her key fantasies that she was some kind of sex goddess. I honestly can't remember with any certainty but I think a high percentage of these boyfriends were also multi-millionaires who had lavished fortunes on her. She lived in a one bed flat in East Grinstead. One thing I've just remembered was how much of an attention seeker she was. She invited some of the other girls round to her flat one night and a couple of hours into the evening had some kind of massive seizure/fitting episode. She was taken to the hospital, major drama all round, but turned up right as rain at work the following morning with some story about it being a rare virus that the doctors at the hospital had never seen before but she had 'rare blood' which was particularly effective at fighting it. Anyone else would have died.

The sort of girl who would claim rape (detracting from genuine victims) I bet.

Certainly full blown bunny boiler material. Like a lot of these people, she was reasonably plausible on first acquaintance.

Is there a name for what's obviously some sort of mental disorder? Other than the Walter Mitty tag. The bit that always gets me is the gulf between the fantasy and reality, like when someone claims to have skippered superyachts for Russian oligarchs (whilst doubling as their bodyguard) but clearly knows nothing about boats and runs away at the first hint of confrontation.

We knew one guy at the pub who was comedy gold but someone who went back to his flat found evidence he was really quite ill. For example, various bits of random broken electronic equipment cobbled together with string that performed miracle functions such as providing a satellite link to clandestine government agencies. They're usually single too. The female I've been describing could get men no problem (she was quite attractive) but couldn't keep them, so was always either in the early stages of a relationship or looking to meet someone. As we know, just about any female can get a bloke if she isn't too fussy but it isn't so easy for blokes, even ex SAS, if they look anything like the oddballs I've known..

[northwest monkey]

9mm said:

The female I've been describing could get men no problem (she was quite attractive) but couldn't keep them, so was always either in the early stages of a relationship or looking to meet someone.

My missus reckons Jennifer Aniston is like this. More than a bit mental.

[Vocal Minority]

9mm said:

She has a shotgun licence and threatened her noisy neighbours with it.

Nothing shuts neighbours up like waving a piece of paper.

[thatdude]

It points towards strong insecurity and very low self confidence.

It might be worth befriending him and finding out a bit about his life - maybe he feels he has to behave in such a way in order to feel better about himself. The reality of it all is when he leaves work he has nothing exciting to go home to.

Confront him about it, but in an honest and sincere manner. The evidence he is bullstting is there for all to see, but the important thing is why he feels he has to do it.

[funkyrobot]

Manager at work - I chose my Mercededs 220 cdi because I can get the back end out easy. I had the option on a BMW, but the Merc is better for power sliding. I'm always getting told off by my wife because I keep getting the back end of the car out.

He also offered to have a drag race with another manager who has a BMW 330d.

[gowmonster]

funkyrobot said:

Manager at work - I chose my Mercededs 220 cdi because I can get the back end out easy. I had the option on a BMW, but the Merc is better for power sliding. I'm always getting told off by my wife because I keep getting the back end of the car out. Etc ...

but surly the BMW is the easier to get the back end out? the merc system cuts in to quickly imo. what a tt.

[funkyrobot]

gowmonster said:

but surly the BMW is the easier to get the back end out? the merc system cuts in to quickly imo. what a tt.

He is full of himself and it's so funny.

As you'd expect, his is the fastest Mercedes on the road.

[jas xjr]

Asterix said:

northwest monkey said:

he was the getaway driver for the Triads

Excellent

You sure he was not the takeaway driver lol

[roboxm3]

I'm sitting about 10yds from one now...

Always got some sort of drama going on or a story of how he did something that he thinks makes him sound cool.

They're never of the "yeah I once had a Fiat 500 with a Lambo engine" variety but little tales that you just know aren't true.

My favourite example was his response to a suggested team trip to Nando's for lunch...he wasn't up for it because the first and only time he went the service was crap and the food was even worse, so he got up and left without paying!

...for those that have never visited Nando's, you pay when you order your food...before it arrives

[RyanTank]

My works Billybullstter has just gone full retard mode after I confronted him!!

Bit of back story-
We work a shift pattern here and it involves working weekends together, well mine and Billy's fall the weekend before Christmas, obviously everyone is keen to book this date off if it falls on them. so I put my annual leave request in last month after seeing no request next to Billy's name on the rota. But my boss tells me I cant have it as Billy asked for it first, back in July!
So I casually mention to him (again) that when he puts leave in to note it on the rota, he has a habit of not putting it down and its pissing everyone off as they think its free until the the boss says Billy has already asked for it. So he looks confused over the date and claims to not need it any more, but will double check with his wife.
I get no answer off him for a week so ask him again and he says that he does now need it as his wife has booked a surprise weekend away to Benidorm that date, but didn't want to tell him really, as you know, its a surprise weekend away for a date he should have been working?! So I accept this excuse and inform the misses that we cant do the Christmas trip with her family (thankyoujeezuz). and that was it until last week and now today.

So last week the email comes round that the girls in work do want to have a Christmas party after all and that this weekend is now the only date they can think of, so the email comes around and Billy replies saying that he can make it and is really looking forward to a good drink with them.
So I casually drop in that he's not going away with the wife now to Benidorm then, and hope he's managed to get his money back on the trip. He looks confused, then simply goes errrm, yeah, were not doing that now.
About an hour later he emails round again saying that he now cant make it as his brother will be home from the Navy for Christmas and that he now needs to spend time with him. (he's previously stated that his brother has just been deployed on a 9month tour of Afghan and the middle east so wont see him until the middle of next year as they've been told no leave during this tour).

Then this morning he tipped me over the edge, and I snapped, we were sat with another member of staff who was saying he was looking forward to Christmas as his baby is due and he cant wait to have all the time off to spend with it.
Billy pipes up with the fact he cant wait to have it off too as he has jack st planned, but has stocked up on crates of beer and intends to spend the 4 weeks before he comes back to work continuously drunk and watch films.
So I ask what's happening to spending time with his brother? He panic replies that they've argued and his brother has cancelled his leave so is staying out on tour!
I pretty much said to him then "FFS! will you decide one piece of bullst and stick to it!!" at that point as if pre planned his phone rings and he runs off to answer it.

So now because he just wants to be drunk for 4 weeks I am stuck with this stty pattern - off 5, on 2, off 2, closed for Christmas then, instead of being off all the way through to Christmas.
And this prick has 4 weeks off straight! 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after as it falls nicely for him into the new year!

He has come back into the office twice so far, sat down for 5 minute and gone to say something before running out again.
I think I've broken him somehow as he isn't speaking to anyone and keeps hiding places to avoid contact!?

[Asterix]

Naval tour of Afghanistan? That'll be interesting.

Could be SBS I suppose...

[mattyn1]

Asterix said:

Naval tour of Afghanistan? That'll be interesting.

It isn't. It is st!

[nitrodave]

liars always get found out...

[Brigand]

mattyn1 said:

Asterix said:

Naval tour of Afghanistan? That'll be interesting.

It isn't. It is st!

The Navy are out there in at least Kandahar, I never quite understood why but they are there - I saw a fair few although it was mainly officers.

[98elise]

Asterix said:

Naval tour of Afghanistan? That'll be interesting.

Could be SBS I suppose...

Boats are as useful as ships in a landlocked country