Life is rubbish at the moment
Discussion
Just writing this on here to get it off my chest.
Pregnant fiancée (type 1 diabetic) taken into hospital on Sunday. She had been up in the early hours of the morning with a severe, frontal headache. Baby was in distress, mother was becoming ill and preeclampsia was diagnosed. Emergency c section undertaken and baby was transferred to special unit in Sheffield due to lung issues. Gestation was 34 weeks and 4 days and baby weighed 7 lbs 14 ounces.
Mother kept on labour ward as having issues with head.
Baby does well with breathing and is transferred back to Lincs hospital. However, baby has infection and jaundice so is back in incubator. Meanwhile, mother is still suffering with crippling headache. Observations look ok, but doctors struggling to understand what is causing it. Ct scan clear, but MRI scan results unknown as of now. Mother has been up and about a bit today, but she has only got as far as the loo and is really struggling.
I've not long got home. Had to leave fiancée as am so tired. I feel so sad because the two loves of my life are poorly and separated. I can't give my baby a hug and my fiancée just isn't herself with this really strange issue.
I feel like I need a good cry, but I can only get short bursts out. I really hate life at the moment and am terribly worried about my little family,
Alarm is set nice and early and I'll head back to the hospital later to see how things are going.
Has anyone else been through something similar? Thanks all.
Edited to add - I know there are people out there in much worse situations. However, I just needed to write something about it on here.
Pregnant fiancée (type 1 diabetic) taken into hospital on Sunday. She had been up in the early hours of the morning with a severe, frontal headache. Baby was in distress, mother was becoming ill and preeclampsia was diagnosed. Emergency c section undertaken and baby was transferred to special unit in Sheffield due to lung issues. Gestation was 34 weeks and 4 days and baby weighed 7 lbs 14 ounces.
Mother kept on labour ward as having issues with head.
Baby does well with breathing and is transferred back to Lincs hospital. However, baby has infection and jaundice so is back in incubator. Meanwhile, mother is still suffering with crippling headache. Observations look ok, but doctors struggling to understand what is causing it. Ct scan clear, but MRI scan results unknown as of now. Mother has been up and about a bit today, but she has only got as far as the loo and is really struggling.
I've not long got home. Had to leave fiancée as am so tired. I feel so sad because the two loves of my life are poorly and separated. I can't give my baby a hug and my fiancée just isn't herself with this really strange issue.
I feel like I need a good cry, but I can only get short bursts out. I really hate life at the moment and am terribly worried about my little family,
Alarm is set nice and early and I'll head back to the hospital later to see how things are going.
Has anyone else been through something similar? Thanks all.
Edited to add - I know there are people out there in much worse situations. However, I just needed to write something about it on here.
I haven't been through a situation like that but it sounds bloody awful. I wish I could offer some useful advice, but there isn't much I can add apart from just try and stay strong for your wife and baby, and try and get some sleep. Life can be an absolute c*** sometimes.
All the best with it all, I hope things get better quickly. I really feel for you.
All the best with it all, I hope things get better quickly. I really feel for you.
Feel sorry for you, really do. Its that feeling of helplessness that does it. Coming back to an empty house, in the dark, not knowing what might happen whilst you're trying to get some sleep, but all the same knowing that without some sort of rest, you're not much help.
A couple of years ago, at 8pm New Years Eve, I took my wife to hospital where our twins miscarried - we lost them both. Unforgettable time, and coming home whilst fireworks were still banging, to look after our daughter, who was only 2 at the time, was tough. Managed about an hours kip, then up to look after one, before passing her to a friend to go and see Mrs PB in hospital. All's well now, and we have since had other children.
I don't say any of that to compete or to belittle what you're going through, but rather to emphasise that sometimes life is s
t, but usually it gets better. Its just a PITA to see it that way at the time. Be comforted that both are in the best place they can be, getting the care they need, and that you will get to see them tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after... In the meantime, remember to look after yourself, so you can look after them!
A couple of years ago, at 8pm New Years Eve, I took my wife to hospital where our twins miscarried - we lost them both. Unforgettable time, and coming home whilst fireworks were still banging, to look after our daughter, who was only 2 at the time, was tough. Managed about an hours kip, then up to look after one, before passing her to a friend to go and see Mrs PB in hospital. All's well now, and we have since had other children.
I don't say any of that to compete or to belittle what you're going through, but rather to emphasise that sometimes life is s
t, but usually it gets better. Its just a PITA to see it that way at the time. Be comforted that both are in the best place they can be, getting the care they need, and that you will get to see them tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after... In the meantime, remember to look after yourself, so you can look after them!I've never been through anything like that also, but this random guy in Moldova is pulling for your little family right now man. I can only say, I hope both of them get to full strength soon and, for however little it means, I am thinking of them and am sure you'll keep strong for them.
Edited by Chisinau on Wednesday 3rd September 03:45
I feel for you buddy, but get some rest and it'll be amazing how much better you'll feel afterwards. And have a good cry. No shame in that.
Without going into details, we experienced something similar earlier this year.
What I found helped was making sure I at least had some sleep and ate enough.
You'll also soon feel that you are looking after everyone, your Mrs, the baby, the emotional needs of the rest of the family, communications etc.
Don't try to take everything on, just focus on the important things and before long you'll all be home.
Good luck and don't forget to let us know when the baby gets home. I'm typing this just after feeding my 12 week old his 430am feed. He spent the first 2 weeks of his life in intensive care. I felt a bit like you do now. So it won't be long before you are up in the middle of the night reading pistonheads too!
Without going into details, we experienced something similar earlier this year.
What I found helped was making sure I at least had some sleep and ate enough.
You'll also soon feel that you are looking after everyone, your Mrs, the baby, the emotional needs of the rest of the family, communications etc.
Don't try to take everything on, just focus on the important things and before long you'll all be home.
Good luck and don't forget to let us know when the baby gets home. I'm typing this just after feeding my 12 week old his 430am feed. He spent the first 2 weeks of his life in intensive care. I felt a bit like you do now. So it won't be long before you are up in the middle of the night reading pistonheads too!
Thanks for the responses.
Managed to get some sleep and am heading back to the hospital soon. I'll keep the thread updated with any progress.
Haven't heard anything through the night, so that must be a good thing.
Going to feed the cat, put some washing out and head off. Hopefully the OH will continue the run of getting up today and will find it a bit easier. Will see how baby is getting on too. Her little feet are full of holes where they have been taking the blood out.
Cheerio.
Managed to get some sleep and am heading back to the hospital soon. I'll keep the thread updated with any progress.
Haven't heard anything through the night, so that must be a good thing.
Going to feed the cat, put some washing out and head off. Hopefully the OH will continue the run of getting up today and will find it a bit easier. Will see how baby is getting on too. Her little feet are full of holes where they have been taking the blood out.
Cheerio.
Feel for you - sounds horrendous. Don't forget that with Junior particularly the Docs will have seen all the issues hundreds of times before - they get used to them (and you jumping off the deep end over it)
It does seem like its never going to get better but it will - went through something similar with my family when we started out - I kept a diary - it helped a lot when everyone pulled through the other side. Don't forget your Mrs will feel guilty and upset that she missed out on the first few days with the little one - mine did.
To be honest she has done brilliantly to get to 34 weeks - you might have had a bit of a dodgy take off but your family will soon be flying high - straight and level.
It does seem like its never going to get better but it will - went through something similar with my family when we started out - I kept a diary - it helped a lot when everyone pulled through the other side. Don't forget your Mrs will feel guilty and upset that she missed out on the first few days with the little one - mine did.
To be honest she has done brilliantly to get to 34 weeks - you might have had a bit of a dodgy take off but your family will soon be flying high - straight and level.
funkyrobot said:
Thanks for the responses.
Managed to get some sleep and am heading back to the hospital soon. I'll keep the thread updated with any progress.
Haven't heard anything through the night, so that must be a good thing.
Going to feed the cat, put some washing out and head off. Hopefully the OH will continue the run of getting up today and will find it a bit easier. Will see how baby is getting on too. Her little feet are full of holes where they have been taking the blood out.
Cheerio.
Well done - about the only thing you can do is to be strong (at least on the outside) for your family. Try and sleep, try and keep some normality, ie feeding the cat etc so that your other half doesn't need to worry about these things. Managed to get some sleep and am heading back to the hospital soon. I'll keep the thread updated with any progress.
Haven't heard anything through the night, so that must be a good thing.
Going to feed the cat, put some washing out and head off. Hopefully the OH will continue the run of getting up today and will find it a bit easier. Will see how baby is getting on too. Her little feet are full of holes where they have been taking the blood out.
Cheerio.
You're doing the right things, good luck
funkyrobot said:
Thanks for the responses.
Managed to get some sleep and am heading back to the hospital soon. I'll keep the thread updated with any progress.
Haven't heard anything through the night, so that must be a good thing.
Going to feed the cat, put some washing out and head off. Hopefully the OH will continue the run of getting up today and will find it a bit easier. Will see how baby is getting on too. Her little feet are full of holes where they have been taking the blood out.
Cheerio.
Stay strong.Managed to get some sleep and am heading back to the hospital soon. I'll keep the thread updated with any progress.
Haven't heard anything through the night, so that must be a good thing.
Going to feed the cat, put some washing out and head off. Hopefully the OH will continue the run of getting up today and will find it a bit easier. Will see how baby is getting on too. Her little feet are full of holes where they have been taking the blood out.
Cheerio.
You'll look back when enjoying happier times and see it all as one life's many challenges. Cliched maybe but having been through similar times I urge you do as it sounds you are - keep calm and carry on.
Congratulations on the birth but sorry to hear of the issues. I know to some extent what you're going through and it's not nice. The worst for me was it took away a lot of the joy of the experience - an experience that shoudl be wonderful was filled with worry.
The headache your wife is experiencing could be to do with the epidural thay used during the CS. Lady Ace had similar after Pre-eclamsia & twins & &36w & ECS.
The doc reckoned it was post dural headache - CSF leaks from the epidural site causing headache but does heal. If it's really severe they can fix it. Lady Ace's was OK after a couple of days.
Your baby is in the best place. It's not uncommon for little ones to have these issues in those circumstances (mine did too) but they couldn't be in a better location. Hope everything woks out for you.
The headache your wife is experiencing could be to do with the epidural thay used during the CS. Lady Ace had similar after Pre-eclamsia & twins & &36w & ECS.
The doc reckoned it was post dural headache - CSF leaks from the epidural site causing headache but does heal. If it's really severe they can fix it. Lady Ace's was OK after a couple of days.
Your baby is in the best place. It's not uncommon for little ones to have these issues in those circumstances (mine did too) but they couldn't be in a better location. Hope everything woks out for you.
I can't help with your wife's current situation but I hope she's better soon.
As for the little one my son arrived premature and was 3lb 10 at his lowest weight he was jaundiced and we were in hospital for a month he was in and out of the incubator and on and off the lights a few times. Every day they get stronger and stronger.
Fingers crossed everything is better for you by the end of today or this week.
As for the little one my son arrived premature and was 3lb 10 at his lowest weight he was jaundiced and we were in hospital for a month he was in and out of the incubator and on and off the lights a few times. Every day they get stronger and stronger.
Fingers crossed everything is better for you by the end of today or this week.
Just reading this while doing the 3.30am feed for our new arrival. Hang in there - the babies weight is great and the jaundice is very normal. As soon as mum is back on her feet you'll be a great family! My wife had a c-section 5 weeks ago and the only thing I'd recommend is to take any help that's offered and not to rush out of the hospital too soon - we left after 2 nights, but infact having the nurses around to look after the baby a bit was really helpful - by itself the c-section is a 6 week recovery, and you'll find yourself getting very tired very quickly if you don't accept/ask for help. Good luck, it really is worth it in the end.
BR, you have my sympathy.
We had 2 very difficult births, with my daughter, our first the epidural needle punctured a fluid sack in my partners spin which resulted in spinal fluid draining from the brain down the back. The net result is the worst headache you can imagine (dehydration) akin to a hangover, yet 10 times worse.
For the first 2 weeks of my daughters life my wife couldnt lift her head off the pillow, yet alone get out of bed. As you can imagine this was a huge emotional strain on us.
The issue was eventually fixed through a 'blood patch' procedure in which blood from my partner is re-injected at the point of epidural to 'patch over' the puncture. The results were almost immediate, although my partner still gets an abnormal amount of headaches now.
Anyway, my point is, your not alone and although things seem grim at the moment things will get better, have trust in the medical professionals around you and be there as a rock for your new born and your partner. Your doing really well and there is no shame in crying or wanting to cry. Yes, this forum can be harsh and unforgiving but there is a soft underbelly of caring and sympathy (I think, lol!).
I noticed you said baby was transferred to a hospital in Lincs, do you mind me asking which one?
All the best, stay strong mate.
We had 2 very difficult births, with my daughter, our first the epidural needle punctured a fluid sack in my partners spin which resulted in spinal fluid draining from the brain down the back. The net result is the worst headache you can imagine (dehydration) akin to a hangover, yet 10 times worse.
For the first 2 weeks of my daughters life my wife couldnt lift her head off the pillow, yet alone get out of bed. As you can imagine this was a huge emotional strain on us.
The issue was eventually fixed through a 'blood patch' procedure in which blood from my partner is re-injected at the point of epidural to 'patch over' the puncture. The results were almost immediate, although my partner still gets an abnormal amount of headaches now.
Anyway, my point is, your not alone and although things seem grim at the moment things will get better, have trust in the medical professionals around you and be there as a rock for your new born and your partner. Your doing really well and there is no shame in crying or wanting to cry. Yes, this forum can be harsh and unforgiving but there is a soft underbelly of caring and sympathy (I think, lol!).
I noticed you said baby was transferred to a hospital in Lincs, do you mind me asking which one?
All the best, stay strong mate.
Firstly, many congratulations on your new arrival. You're now a dad! Life is going to change but for the better in so many ways.
Things will look better in a couple of days. 7lb 14oz is actually quite a big baby so I'm sure it'll be up to speed in no time. As will your mrs after such an invasive, traumatic birth.
Things will look better in a couple of days. 7lb 14oz is actually quite a big baby so I'm sure it'll be up to speed in no time. As will your mrs after such an invasive, traumatic birth.
Firstly congratulations on becoming a Dad!
My wife gave birth to our son 10 weeks early in June. He only weighed 3 pounds.
The staff in Neo-natal units are amazing, really helped my wife and I as our son stayed in hospital for 6 and a half weeks.
Your baby really is in the best place, and the care she will recieve will ensure she can come home as soon as possible.
When our son was born so early, and we saw him in an icubator with all the wires and tubes coming out of him, I really feared the worst, but mostly for my wife, who had gone through so much to get pregnant in the first place, for it to end with our son so poorly in hospital was horrible.
But people are very strong, the care your wife and child will recieve will mean it wont be long til you can take your wife and child home, and you will very quickly forget the complicated birth, and just enjoy being parents.
My wife gave birth to our son 10 weeks early in June. He only weighed 3 pounds.
The staff in Neo-natal units are amazing, really helped my wife and I as our son stayed in hospital for 6 and a half weeks.
Your baby really is in the best place, and the care she will recieve will ensure she can come home as soon as possible.
When our son was born so early, and we saw him in an icubator with all the wires and tubes coming out of him, I really feared the worst, but mostly for my wife, who had gone through so much to get pregnant in the first place, for it to end with our son so poorly in hospital was horrible.
But people are very strong, the care your wife and child will recieve will mean it wont be long til you can take your wife and child home, and you will very quickly forget the complicated birth, and just enjoy being parents.
Feel for you.
My wife works at Lincoln Hospital but in Accounts.
How far are you travelling in?
Been in similar situation with youngest, try to get the rest you need and eat, its easily forgotten.
You're no good knackered espcially when driving and it doesn't help the mood either.
Hope it improves and they are both allowed home soon.
My wife works at Lincoln Hospital but in Accounts.
How far are you travelling in?
Been in similar situation with youngest, try to get the rest you need and eat, its easily forgotten.
You're no good knackered espcially when driving and it doesn't help the mood either.
Hope it improves and they are both allowed home soon.
Keep your head up OP, don't let this test get you down, not long until they are both home and your little one lays there looking up at you, its utterly life changing and worth every ounce of sttyness at this stage.
As above keep well fed and watered with a good bit of sleep as deprivation only makes things wors.
By the way your baby's weight for 34 weeks is impressive. keep the post updated.
ttyness at this stage.As above keep well fed and watered with a good bit of sleep as deprivation only makes things wors.
By the way your baby's weight for 34 weeks is impressive. keep the post updated.
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