Affair - hating it but can't see to disconnect (help)

[NRS]

Peskybear said:

You are harsh but you are right. When I did the deed - fk, it was mental the guilt. Really heavy and immediate and full on. I'd swear never again over and over again on the way home. I hated myself for doing it and the whole mess. The guilt got so bad that when she wanted a weekend away (I could easily do this) I made up excuses why I couldn't even though it meant no nookie.

My other half doesn't deserve this st. I'm going to have to carry the weight of what I did all my life. I know my other half and I know it'd hurt very deep.

So the only thing I can do is be the best bloke imaginable to her for ever.

Either that or leave and that'd also make me a weekend Dad. So we all suffer.

You know before this I'd have said deep down I am a good person. After all this I don't think too highly of myself.

The thing to focus on is more trying to fix the relationship with your wife. It sounds more like you're feeling really bad about the guilt, and a result of that can be that you try and distract yourself from that and that's probably by doing the same again. If over time you keep doing this it becomes too difficult to cope with all the time, and you will "accidentally" let your wife know, or just slowly lose the part of you that feels bad about it. It sounds like you're more being a wimp and running away from things in regards to your wife/FB, by not being honest with your wife and wanting the FB to end things. However it's you that is responsible and you are the only one who can fix it. The thing is to concentrate on the long term - it won't work just being the best bloke possible - you'll mess up again and then feel more guilty and it will just be the same circle as before. So be aware of that, and think about the long term. If you get back to really fancying your wife the other woman will most likely be less and less important over time so work on things with her.

[TKF]

Lots of skewering going on by the OP.

[mikefacel]

Dump the floozy and get some marriage counselling. The affair is just a mechanism for coping with a crap relationship. It really does help, not just to fix a relationship but to usually agree it can't be fixed if need be.Try to fix it with your partner. She will have her side to the story and why you are not close any more. She will tell you of things you are not aware of in terms of her thoughts and desires and opinion of you and of herself. You should do the same. You owe it to your kid. If it doesn't work out then man up and split as best you can and be a good dad.

[drivin_me_nuts]

If you're unhappy at home move on.
If you want to turn the mistress into the permie, it will not be easy and it might not work.

Do the others a favour. Leave your wife. Leave your notsofkbuddy and live by yourself. You are not happy so do them all the reat the best favour and leave them all. In the long run they might all have happier lives, but staying with you is at best a poor second best.

[Black can man]

Vanity , That's what all affairs are about really.

Have a J Arthur .

[s3fella]

I don't understand who the OP is referring to about the going out being st and the food being st etc. So I can't really offer much advice as I am not sure what he is on about.

However, being in a relationship and shagging about it bad enough, particularly if it is a long term thing, but to carry on after you've got a kid with long term partner....... fk me what a you are.

[Monkeylegend]

Peskybear said:

I am a regular user (hope this is ok mods? I will NOT use this login again for another other thread or topic).

Hope that's not your real name and location in your profile. Somebody might spill the beans.

[grumbledoak]

Monkeylegend said:

Hope that's not your real name and location in your profile. Somebody might spill the beans.

Surely he cannot be that stupid?

[Monkeylegend]

grumbledoak said:

Monkeylegend said:

Hope that's not your real name and location in your profile. Somebody might spill the beans.

Surely he cannot be that stupid?

He's been to busy shagging to notice

[DrDoofenshmirtz]

Google suggests he is a company director...I doubt anyone is that stupid though!?

[Monkeylegend]

Not so sure about that, have you read the "Problem at work" thread, stupidity at it's finest.

In fact thinking about it, I reckon employee "A" is the FB and David is the boss.

[LCturbo]

OP, I sincerely hope your probably very loving wife gets to read this forum and sends you up the road first.
Downside is the access to your child but you probably weighed it all up first?

[Ayahuasca]

Does your wife know?

[TREMAiNE]

Slim, lays there watching American TV, only drinks fizzy drinks...


OP, pass her on to me. PLEEEEASE!

[fttm]

s3fella said:

I don't understand who the OP is referring to about the going out being st and the food being st etc. So I can't really offer much advice as I am not sure what he is on about.

However, being in a relationship and shagging about it bad enough, particularly if it is a long term thing, but to carry on after you've got a kid with long term partner....... fk me what a you are.

Yeap , total arse wipe and with some luck it'll come back to haunt him .

[lamboman100]

Ask them for a 3sum.

[e600]

You have come across as self centred with little or no empathy, so to ensure you get the message look what happens to YOU when this explodes:

. Less or no toys in the garage
. 2 loads of dwellings to pay for, 1 for you and 1 for the mother of your child and daughter
. Maintenance support for the mother of your child for the next 16 years
. Weekend Dad syndrome

Things you might consider but I doubt will overly concern you:

. Hurt caused to mother of your child
. Vacuum in your daughters life when this explodes and your out of her life


If the above is worth a shag with your anorexic Friends addicted airhead, then crack on, if not, bin the bit on the side and concentrate on having a grown up relationship with your missus. Tt

Ps
Any editors of mainstream newspapers reading this should note I am available as a resident agony Uncle for yor newspaper.

[Studio117]

e600 said:

You have come across as self centred with little or no empathy, so to ensure you get the message look what happens to YOU when this explodes:

. Less or no toys in the garage
. 2 loads of dwellings to pay for, 1 for you and 1 for the mother of your child and daughter
. Maintenance support for the mother of your child for the next 16 years
. Weekend Dad syndrome

Things you might consider but I doubt will overly concern you:

. Hurt caused to mother of your child
. Vacuum in your daughters life when this explodes and your out of her life


If the above is worth a shag with your anorexic Friends addicted airhead, then crack on, if not, bin the bit on the side and concentrate on having a grown up relationship with your missus. Tt

Ps
Any editors of mainstream newspapers reading this should note I am available as a resident agony Uncle for yor newspaper.

Kin ell, a sober version of me has posted.

my amalgamation of the op and his wifes faeces faces is:

[UncappedTag]

Personally I hope your missus is getting some side action too.

[tjob]

Monkeylegend said:

Hope that's not your real name and location in your profile. Somebody might spill the beans.

Lives in my town, 1 mutual friend on Facebook. Uh oh if he is that stupid!