Biggest shock becoming a father
Discussion
I'm a first time dad to a 6 week old girl and I can tell you it is a massive learning curve but worth every second.
At first they don't sleep, you're worried if they're breathing and it takes you a bit of time to get into a groove. How ever many sleep suits, vests, nappies, wet wipes, and baby grows you think you'll need - double it and add a couple. Babies go through all of these things at a formidable rate.
I was lucky enough to have 3 weeks Paternity leave - make the most of it, it will disappear in no time. Once you're back to work you have the guilt of leaving your wife to look after the baby all day even though she has been up during the night feeding the little one and looks like she's ready to drop down.
As others have said, they grow very quickly so enjoy it. I've seen my nieces and nephews grow and cannot believe they are the ages they are today. Time really does fly. Take photos at every available opportunity.
Make sure you and the wife take time to enjoy what you used to have. Put on a film with a glass of wine and cozy down on the sofa together. Even if you just have 30 minutes of it, it'll be worth it to have some normality. Chances are you'll both fall asleep and will be woken by a screaming baby who has just soiled themselves.
Good luck!
At first they don't sleep, you're worried if they're breathing and it takes you a bit of time to get into a groove. How ever many sleep suits, vests, nappies, wet wipes, and baby grows you think you'll need - double it and add a couple. Babies go through all of these things at a formidable rate.
I was lucky enough to have 3 weeks Paternity leave - make the most of it, it will disappear in no time. Once you're back to work you have the guilt of leaving your wife to look after the baby all day even though she has been up during the night feeding the little one and looks like she's ready to drop down.
As others have said, they grow very quickly so enjoy it. I've seen my nieces and nephews grow and cannot believe they are the ages they are today. Time really does fly. Take photos at every available opportunity.
Make sure you and the wife take time to enjoy what you used to have. Put on a film with a glass of wine and cozy down on the sofa together. Even if you just have 30 minutes of it, it'll be worth it to have some normality. Chances are you'll both fall asleep and will be woken by a screaming baby who has just soiled themselves.
Good luck!
The most important thing you can do as a new parent, is support your missus (and she should do the same to you). It's a massive change with it's ups and downs, it's hard, fun, exciting, exhausting, rewarding and emotional all at the same time.
Your heart will melt the first time you hold him/her, and some form of weird bond is made.
No 2 children are the same. Don't compare them as it will give you false disappointment/encouragement. Let them develop at their own pace.
Good luck, theirs no right or wrong way of doing it, just make sure you do the best you can. A happy home makes happy kids.
Your heart will melt the first time you hold him/her, and some form of weird bond is made.
No 2 children are the same. Don't compare them as it will give you false disappointment/encouragement. Let them develop at their own pace.
Good luck, theirs no right or wrong way of doing it, just make sure you do the best you can. A happy home makes happy kids.
Epic Boobs Only downside is that they are often too painful for you to go near.......
Just how much love you can feel for such a small person.
Also when they are ill. Somehow you find the resolve to keep going no matter what. Its amazing just how much vom and poop they can make even after bringing up the equivalent of a 2l coke bottle.
Just how much love you can feel for such a small person.
Also when they are ill. Somehow you find the resolve to keep going no matter what. Its amazing just how much vom and poop they can make even after bringing up the equivalent of a 2l coke bottle.
Steve7777 said:
My first one is due in 2 months, but fortunately I don't know enough to be properly nervous yet. Any tips for things I can do over the next 8 weeks to make life easier when she arrives? Or is it just a case of buy all the stuff, sleep a lot and brace myself?
My first one is actually due in about a month, however he arrived nearly two weeks ago! We were still in the process of getting the house and our lives organised when he arrived. Since then both him and my wife have stayed in hospital and I've been trying to juggle work (I had to defer paternity leave until they're home), spending time with them and getting things ready at the house for them coming home. I've had two weeks of very little sleep on top of a 160 mile a day round trip commute, which then reduced to less than an hour of sleep last night when I was able to spend the night with both of them in a family room at the hospital.On that basis I'd suggest that the best thing you can do to make life easier is to make sure you've got everything ready sooner rather than later, and sleep at every possible opportunity! Don't assume that the baby will only arrive when scheduled.....!
hora said:
Alittle controversial but I didnt want to be at the business end.
I'd like to look down there post-birth and have fun still.
When our first was born, they had to put her at such an angle, that whilst still being at the top, I could see the action below.I'd like to look down there post-birth and have fun still.
I almost fainted. If you end up in the same situation, my advice is close your eyes.
How only 12 months turns this:
into this little terror:
One shock that can be avoided is the cost of clothing if you're savvy about it.
The rate at which something so small can soil so many bodysuits and sleepsuits in such a short space of time is unbelievable.
My advice is to swallow your pride a little, convince the missus to do the same, and hunt down bundles of 40-60 items of 0-3 months clothing on ebay. Piles of branded nearly new and unworn clothes with tags attached can be had for between 20p-50p each item. You will save an absolute fortune and be able to put the money saved towards those more important things
into this little terror:
One shock that can be avoided is the cost of clothing if you're savvy about it.
The rate at which something so small can soil so many bodysuits and sleepsuits in such a short space of time is unbelievable.
My advice is to swallow your pride a little, convince the missus to do the same, and hunt down bundles of 40-60 items of 0-3 months clothing on ebay. Piles of branded nearly new and unworn clothes with tags attached can be had for between 20p-50p each item. You will save an absolute fortune and be able to put the money saved towards those more important things
This cant be that far away for me. We have taked about it a few times, and as I am 32 and she is 28, she is getting twitchy that at 30 she may not have kids and is worried about dangers etc. However this is also because her older brother has a 4 and a 2 year old, and her sister is about to get married next year.
So I think I have 2 years to ask her to marry me, see if she says yes, then throw money at savings accounts for house deposit and baby needs.
She was laughing when I told her about this thread, in a good way, and she knows I am very ambivalent towards kids, I just don't care tbh, but reading this has calmed me down a bit as I was terrified I would hate my own kids.
The good thing is, whatever we get, boy or girl...twins....Octuplets!! I am a big geek so Lego, Toys, models etc, once they are older will get to play with dad
I am aware that my life outside of children will basically die for the first 3-6 moths at least. My mate has his daughter due in December and we are setting up a local wargaming club, he is part of the board (along with me as treasurer and the president) however I think he is in denial about how much he will be able to put in come the big day....we aren't!
Scary stuff, but I am also in a place where if we had kids now I think I would cope....at least with the ability to actually have children, probably not the change in my life
So I think I have 2 years to ask her to marry me, see if she says yes, then throw money at savings accounts for house deposit and baby needs.
She was laughing when I told her about this thread, in a good way, and she knows I am very ambivalent towards kids, I just don't care tbh, but reading this has calmed me down a bit as I was terrified I would hate my own kids.
The good thing is, whatever we get, boy or girl...twins....Octuplets!! I am a big geek so Lego, Toys, models etc, once they are older will get to play with dad
I am aware that my life outside of children will basically die for the first 3-6 moths at least. My mate has his daughter due in December and we are setting up a local wargaming club, he is part of the board (along with me as treasurer and the president) however I think he is in denial about how much he will be able to put in come the big day....we aren't!
Scary stuff, but I am also in a place where if we had kids now I think I would cope....at least with the ability to actually have children, probably not the change in my life
I have a 5 month old girl.
Pretty much as already said really. The lack of sleep is hard although our little girl is pretty good, wakes up once a night usually for a feed and change and is back asleep again in 20 mins.
Cost - They are huuugely expensive and your wife will buy tons of clothes they wil probably on;y end up wearing a couple of times before they grow out of them.
Time - Your free time will all but disppear. Being able to have a round of golf or go to the pub is a real event for me now.
Poo and puke - Doesn't bother me in the slightest to be honest. It washes off.
At first it will all be a massive shock but as you progress you realise that all new parents are in the same boat so you are not alone.
As also said it can cause a strain on your relationship with your other half. I've looked after our little one for the odd day before but recently was told I was primary carer on a 2 week holiday while my wife read, drank and slept on a sun lounger. That was an eye opener as to how hard it is having them all day every day, especially when they won't sleep.
The bad stuff is miniscule though. It's epic being a dad and watching then grow and start to get a personality.
The final couple from our NCT class lost their little boy during labour and that could so easily have been us which constantly makes us realise how lucky we are.
Pretty much as already said really. The lack of sleep is hard although our little girl is pretty good, wakes up once a night usually for a feed and change and is back asleep again in 20 mins.
Cost - They are huuugely expensive and your wife will buy tons of clothes they wil probably on;y end up wearing a couple of times before they grow out of them.
Time - Your free time will all but disppear. Being able to have a round of golf or go to the pub is a real event for me now.
Poo and puke - Doesn't bother me in the slightest to be honest. It washes off.
At first it will all be a massive shock but as you progress you realise that all new parents are in the same boat so you are not alone.
As also said it can cause a strain on your relationship with your other half. I've looked after our little one for the odd day before but recently was told I was primary carer on a 2 week holiday while my wife read, drank and slept on a sun lounger. That was an eye opener as to how hard it is having them all day every day, especially when they won't sleep.
The bad stuff is miniscule though. It's epic being a dad and watching then grow and start to get a personality.
The final couple from our NCT class lost their little boy during labour and that could so easily have been us which constantly makes us realise how lucky we are.
hora said:
Alittle controversial but I didnt want to be at the business end.
I'd like to look down there post-birth and have fun still.
Not controversial. It was the only request I had for my wife. "I'll do anything as a Dad, as long as I can just wipe your forehead during labour"I'd like to look down there post-birth and have fun still.
I ended up doing all the night feeds, but we both think we won that deal.
You have many joyous things ahead of you. I felt 6 inches taller the day after my lad was born.
Ten months in, the surprises are still coming. Had my first experience of being projectile-vomited on last night. He'd never been sick before. Couldn't believe the amount.
He's also learned to clap his hands when asked, and wave. This brings a ridiculous amount of enjoyment!
Ten months in, the surprises are still coming. Had my first experience of being projectile-vomited on last night. He'd never been sick before. Couldn't believe the amount.
He's also learned to clap his hands when asked, and wave. This brings a ridiculous amount of enjoyment!
I reckon I had a bit of PTSD after the birth. Watching two nurses hold my wife by the shoulders whilst the surgeon put his foot on the bed for leverage and dragged my little 'un out by the head with forceps was quite shocking. Being handed a crying, blue, elongated squid was a relief.
Expectant Dad-to-be for the first time at 42 chipping in here. Due February, we have 20wk scan on Friday where we will hopefully find out what make and model we are having.
Kids were never on my life plan (I didn't have a life plan!) until I met my wife, but I'm now looking forward to him/her arriving with nervous* excitment.
Kids were never on my life plan (I didn't have a life plan!) until I met my wife, but I'm now looking forward to him/her arriving with nervous* excitment.
- absolutely bricking it terrified TBH, but I'm told that's normal.
PurpleTurtle said:
Expectant Dad-to-be for the first time at 42 chipping in here. Due February, we have 20wk scan on Friday where we will hopefully find out what make and model we are having.
Kids were never on my life plan (I didn't have a life plan!) until I met my wife, but I'm now looking forward to him/her arriving with nervous* excitment.
It is. Advantages of being an older father are that you have done a lot of stuff in life so I personally don't feel that I am missing out of ski holidays, pub, etc for a few years. Also you have seen a lot of life and tend to be very patient (in my experience)... Downsides are sleep deprivation hurts more.Kids were never on my life plan (I didn't have a life plan!) until I met my wife, but I'm now looking forward to him/her arriving with nervous* excitment.
- absolutely bricking it terrified TBH, but I'm told that's normal.
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