Biggest shock becoming a father
Discussion
sleep envy said:
Nursery costs.
Too f
king right it does.
Tell me about it, I'd like the Wife to cut hours and work when I'm home - that was the plan - child care would have been £300 a month and she's spend a day and a half a week with the nursery - but my Wife has been desperately trying to change roles in work (Nurse to Health Visitor) for years and wants to apply again for nest year - I'd love for her to get it, but it means 4 days a week in the nursery which means she'll spend more waking hours with them than either of us and £800 a month in childcare. Too f
king right it does. I've been lurking on here for eons, and never really have I felt the need to post, as I come here to have the odd read at work.
However, aside from the awfulness of having a severely ill baby or having a child with severe disablities (in terms of the difficulties coping) I reckon I might have trumped the lot of you!
We had triplets 5 years ago, completely unexpectedly - we only found out at the first routine scan (it wasn't IVF, so we were quite shellshocked). When they were born I was 42 and my partner was 39.
They are 3 beautiful children (2 boys identical & a singleton girl).
No-one though prepared us for the hard work and stress that was to happen for the next few years. Pah! I scoff at sleepness night stories, I scoff at the expense involved stories, I scoff at how it affects one's relationship stories.
My/our life and relationship will never be the same again. Sorry, starting to ramble here......
However, aside from the awfulness of having a severely ill baby or having a child with severe disablities (in terms of the difficulties coping) I reckon I might have trumped the lot of you!
We had triplets 5 years ago, completely unexpectedly - we only found out at the first routine scan (it wasn't IVF, so we were quite shellshocked). When they were born I was 42 and my partner was 39.
They are 3 beautiful children (2 boys identical & a singleton girl).
No-one though prepared us for the hard work and stress that was to happen for the next few years. Pah! I scoff at sleepness night stories, I scoff at the expense involved stories, I scoff at how it affects one's relationship stories.
My/our life and relationship will never be the same again. Sorry, starting to ramble here......
TwigtheWonderkid said:
No they aren't. They can be if you buy them what they want. But not if you buy them what they need.
Even what they need is expensive: cots, prams, high chairs, nappies, formula (a tub of Aptimil we use which is £10 a tub in the UK was €25 on holiday last week!)toys, clothes.I'm not looking forward to nursery fees.
In terms of clothes you get tons of stuf as presents from family and friends but that all tends to be 0-3 months stuff which they soon grow out of.
hora said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
No they aren't. They can be if you buy them what they want. But not if you buy them what they need.
My 2 sons are 16 and 18 and have come in massively under budget.
Hmmmm not anymore. Up north and my son cost me £700 a month nursery fees from 6months - 4yrs old. My 2 sons are 16 and 18 and have come in massively under budget.
Davey S2 said:
Poo and puke - Doesn't bother me in the slightest to be honest. It washes off.
Oh, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Just wait until toilet training. Junior decides to declare full independence, doesn't notice that only half the poo made it into the bowl and then proceeds to walk the rest of it through the house on his or her feet.TwigtheWonderkid said:
Davey S2 said:
Cost - They are huuugely expensive
No they aren't. They can be if you buy them what they want. But not if you buy them what they need.My 2 sons are 16 and 18 and have come in massively under budget.
A) an eBay account
and
B) a marketing man's understanding that EVERYTHING the world offers you is COMPLETE bulls
tThen the first year of junior's life, including furniture, apparatus, clothes, food and nappies, should come in under £1500.
With no compromises.
Nursery is expensive, granted.
Davey S2 said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
No they aren't. They can be if you buy them what they want. But not if you buy them what they need.
Even what they need is expensive: cots, prams, high chairs, nappies, formula (a tub of Aptimil we use which is £10 a tub in the UK was €25 on holiday last week!)toys, clothes.I'm not looking forward to nursery fees.
In terms of clothes you get tons of stuf as presents from family and friends but that all tends to be 0-3 months stuff which they soon grow out of.
In the small sizes, babies grow out of clothes faster than they wear out, so there's always loads of second hand baby clothes available. Get your missus to join up with the local 'mum and baby' group or NCT group and you'll be inundated with people with slightly bigger kids giving away (or selling cheaply) sacks and sacks of hardly used clothes.
Use washable nappies (a s
tty job admittedly), breast feed (it's far healthier than formula, and it means dad has to do less of the night time feeding). It's just so much more convenient for a mother to whop out a breast and give baby an instant feed, than messing about sterilising bottles and mixing up formula, never mind the cost. It's very, very rare for a mother to biologically not be able to breast feed - mammals, including humans have coped for thousands of years without formula.Buy a decent wooden high chair, not that plastic junk. The wooden ones last (ours has done 3 kids, and is still in reasonable, sellable condition). The plastic/material padded ones get stained, go brittle and rickety, and will go straight in landfill after one child (two if you're lucky).
Nursery fee's are insane. Unless you both have very well paid jobs or are desperate not to fall off the career ladder (in which case you probably shouldn't be having kids anyway), it's hardly worth putting your kids in nursery so you can both go back to work.
mjb1 said:
Buy a decent wooden high chair, not that plastic junk. The wooden ones last (ours has done 3 kids, and is still in reasonable, sellable condition). The plastic/material padded ones get stained, go brittle and rickety, and will go straight in landfill after one child (two if you're lucky).
Diasgree. Ikea one is fine and very cheap. Well designed as well.hora said:
A friend spends £1300 on two.
[bDown sarf I hear its
[/b]
I was asked 'should we have another'. I asked if we could go through that again- the yearly increases (it'd be £800 by the time we'd have another one in the nursery) and then theres 'we close down for two weeks at Christmas Sir, but you are expected to pay full price over this period to keep your place at the nursery'.
You go on holiday? Nope - you pay in full all year round or lose your place!
3 days a week, for 1 (under 2), Godalming, = 1/3rd MORE THAN OUR MORTGAGE! [bDown sarf I hear its
[/b]I was asked 'should we have another'. I asked if we could go through that again- the yearly increases (it'd be £800 by the time we'd have another one in the nursery) and then theres 'we close down for two weeks at Christmas Sir, but you are expected to pay full price over this period to keep your place at the nursery'.
You go on holiday? Nope - you pay in full all year round or lose your place!
...........she's talking about number 2 when I dont feel we have had a chance to enjoy No.1 yet.....shes 30 in a few weeks though
Vaud said:
mjb1 said:
Buy a decent wooden high chair, not that plastic junk. The wooden ones last (ours has done 3 kids, and is still in reasonable, sellable condition). The plastic/material padded ones get stained, go brittle and rickety, and will go straight in landfill after one child (two if you're lucky).
Diasgree. Ikea one is fine and very cheap. Well designed as well.Also have you tried to clean all the food and waste out of the cracks of the wooden/others?
When we first went to look at high chairs I couldn't get over how bulky and expensive they are.
Ended up buying a used Nuna Zaaz off eBay and it's really good. Nice and compact, weighty, and not hideous.
http://www.johnlewis.com/nuna-zaaz-highchair-citru...
(paid about £70 delivered for ours)
Currently paying £530 a month for 3 days a week childcare. My wife covers the other two days. Chilcare vouchers are worth looking into if your employer offers it - and you can start collecting (up to £243 a month) as soon as the child is born. I started a bit late but still had a grand saved up by the time the first bill came up.
Ended up buying a used Nuna Zaaz off eBay and it's really good. Nice and compact, weighty, and not hideous.
http://www.johnlewis.com/nuna-zaaz-highchair-citru...
(paid about £70 delivered for ours)
Currently paying £530 a month for 3 days a week childcare. My wife covers the other two days. Chilcare vouchers are worth looking into if your employer offers it - and you can start collecting (up to £243 a month) as soon as the child is born. I started a bit late but still had a grand saved up by the time the first bill came up.
Edited by Pappagallo on Thursday 25th September 09:24
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