Sharing phone / email / texts / computer with partner
Discussion
Purity14 said:
She is a really nice person other than that.
After I took the decision to remove access to my phone, it took away any possibility of it happening in the future.
It has been nearly a year since I made that decision, and there has been no outbursts in that time, which has been nice for me.
She has questioned on one occasions since then, and asked if I'm hiding anything from her - but I just tell her the truth.
The truth being that I am unwilling to let her look at my messages unsupervised, because she will read something and then spend the next hour twisting it, and whirlwinding it out of proportion.
One of the texts was "Are you going to a bonfire this year?" from a friend, and I replied with "Yeah, I'm getting dragged to <name of a person>'s house, do you wanna come?"
She read it and decided that I didn't actually want to go to a bonfire, that I didn't want to go with her, I must be embarrassed to be seen with her, i'm making her look stupid in front of my friends, and that I don't love her anyway.
When she reads this, and she will. You're mental. Have a nice day After I took the decision to remove access to my phone, it took away any possibility of it happening in the future.
It has been nearly a year since I made that decision, and there has been no outbursts in that time, which has been nice for me.
She has questioned on one occasions since then, and asked if I'm hiding anything from her - but I just tell her the truth.
The truth being that I am unwilling to let her look at my messages unsupervised, because she will read something and then spend the next hour twisting it, and whirlwinding it out of proportion.
One of the texts was "Are you going to a bonfire this year?" from a friend, and I replied with "Yeah, I'm getting dragged to <name of a person>'s house, do you wanna come?"
She read it and decided that I didn't actually want to go to a bonfire, that I didn't want to go with her, I must be embarrassed to be seen with her, i'm making her look stupid in front of my friends, and that I don't love her anyway.
If my wife was the type of woman to demand to see my phone I wouldn't have married her in the first place. I suspect if I was the type to give her reason to want to she wouldn't have married me.
I've got enough drama in my life without ruining a peaceful existence at home. Try one that's fit and isn't a bunny boiler with trust issues, it's tremendous.
I've got enough drama in my life without ruining a peaceful existence at home. Try one that's fit and isn't a bunny boiler with trust issues, it's tremendous.
Purity14 said:
jdw100 said:
OzzyR1 said:
Purity14 said:
Girlfriend looks through my posting history on all the forums I frequent, including my text messages.
She can turn an innocent post about "wanting to visit a location" or "wanting to go to a bike show" into something sinister.
Many times she will just confront me with my phone to ask "what do you mean 'perhaps we should go for a ride on sunday instead'. Perhaps why? What aren't you telling me?"
Me: "Oh your reading my messages to other people again?"
Her: "Stop avoiding the subject!!"
Me: "My friend is busy on saturday and he is free on sunday, read the messages again..!"
Happened so often I now put a password on my phone so she cant look.
Now she is even more paranoid, but at least I don't have to explain the ins and outs of every conversation whilst she is looking for the hidden meaning.
I sometimes catch her trying to spot my password as I type it.
As a precaution I change it every week.
Genuine question, why do you put up with that?She can turn an innocent post about "wanting to visit a location" or "wanting to go to a bike show" into something sinister.
Many times she will just confront me with my phone to ask "what do you mean 'perhaps we should go for a ride on sunday instead'. Perhaps why? What aren't you telling me?"
Me: "Oh your reading my messages to other people again?"
Her: "Stop avoiding the subject!!"
Me: "My friend is busy on saturday and he is free on sunday, read the messages again..!"
Happened so often I now put a password on my phone so she cant look.
Now she is even more paranoid, but at least I don't have to explain the ins and outs of every conversation whilst she is looking for the hidden meaning.
I sometimes catch her trying to spot my password as I type it.
As a precaution I change it every week.
After I took the decision to remove access to my phone, it took away any possibility of it happening in the future.
It has been nearly a year since I made that decision, and there has been no outbursts in that time, which has been nice for me.
She has questioned on one occasions since then, and asked if I'm hiding anything from her - but I just tell her the truth.
The truth being that I am unwilling to let her look at my messages unsupervised, because she will read something and then spend the next hour twisting it, and whirlwinding it out of proportion.
One of the texts was "Are you going to a bonfire this year?" from a friend, and I replied with "Yeah, I'm getting dragged to <name of a person>'s house, do you wanna come?"
She read it and decided that I didn't actually want to go to a bonfire, that I didn't want to go with her, I must be embarrassed to be seen with her, i'm making her look stupid in front of my friends, and that I don't love her anyway.
We know each others passwords and codes but neither of us bother.
We also have the Find Friend app enabled on our phones and some of our friends are almost horrified by that. It is really useful for us as I could be in one of several offices and I will occasionally get a message saying - Oh you are at xxxxxxx office can you pop into Sainsburys on the way home and pick something up for tea. Or some such. Saves a phone call when I am in meetings etc.
We also have the Find Friend app enabled on our phones and some of our friends are almost horrified by that. It is really useful for us as I could be in one of several offices and I will occasionally get a message saying - Oh you are at xxxxxxx office can you pop into Sainsburys on the way home and pick something up for tea. Or some such. Saves a phone call when I am in meetings etc.
In our technology-dependent lives nowadays, your other half suddenly becoming secretive with their phone etc is a big flashing red warning sign.
My ex-wife, back when she was just ‘my wife’ switched from leaving her phone charging in the living room overnight to actually sleeping with it under her pillow instead. Which was seriously weird behaviour. I mean, who does that? Why? And yes, she was cheating on me. That was just the first warning sign I noticed.
These days, my girl and I use the same passcode on our phones. It’s only a gesture, but being willing to be open with the damn things totally removes the trust issue.
My ex-wife, back when she was just ‘my wife’ switched from leaving her phone charging in the living room overnight to actually sleeping with it under her pillow instead. Which was seriously weird behaviour. I mean, who does that? Why? And yes, she was cheating on me. That was just the first warning sign I noticed.
These days, my girl and I use the same passcode on our phones. It’s only a gesture, but being willing to be open with the damn things totally removes the trust issue.
My OH knows pretty much all of my passwords. Mainly down to me putting them in when she's about and them mostly being variations of the same thing. The only stuff she doesn't know is my banking details. She uses my iPad all the time so knows the passcode and to my phone, but mainly that's because it's been the same for about 2 years.
I also know her passcode and her details n shyte, but it doesn't worry me remotely as I have no reason to want to see her details. Whereas with an ex I suddenly noticed changes (quiet, hiding her phone, changing all of her passwords and so on) and I found out a week later that she was cheating on me with the guy from work, because the dosey mare didn't realise I was logged into my facebook on her phone and she messaged him on there (had him as a friend) and wondered why I went apes
t when I saw a message asking "when we can meet up next, because I shaved my chap as you asked me too, as you don't like hair in your mouth"
Looking back, it's fccking hilarious, but at the time I was seething.
I also know her passcode and her details n shyte, but it doesn't worry me remotely as I have no reason to want to see her details. Whereas with an ex I suddenly noticed changes (quiet, hiding her phone, changing all of her passwords and so on) and I found out a week later that she was cheating on me with the guy from work, because the dosey mare didn't realise I was logged into my facebook on her phone and she messaged him on there (had him as a friend) and wondered why I went apes
t when I saw a message asking "when we can meet up next, because I shaved my chap as you asked me too, as you don't like hair in your mouth" Looking back, it's fccking hilarious, but at the time I was seething.
Same as a few guys on here by the looks of it.
Me and the previous GF were both quite carefree about our phones for years, until one day she wasn't; I doubt I need to fill in the blanks.
Current GF doesn't have a password on her phone and leaves it lying around, I've never gone through it though. Mine is password protect, but she knows the code. I don't think she's ever been through it. I wouldn't care anyway.
Me and the previous GF were both quite carefree about our phones for years, until one day she wasn't; I doubt I need to fill in the blanks.
Current GF doesn't have a password on her phone and leaves it lying around, I've never gone through it though. Mine is password protect, but she knows the code. I don't think she's ever been through it. I wouldn't care anyway.
mrs envy has never demanded to see my phone/emails/texts/whatever but she's more than welcome to, she knows the pass code and can read everything from the ipad at home as it's linked to my phone
she knows that I'd never play away as I couldn't put up with the grief, one woman in my life is plenty arse ache enough
she knows that I'd never play away as I couldn't put up with the grief, one woman in my life is plenty arse ache enough
The Beaver King said:
Same as a few guys on here by the looks of it.
Me and the previous GF were both quite carefree about our phones for years, until one day she wasn't; I doubt I need to fill in the blanks.
Current GF doesn't have a password on her phone and leaves it lying around, I've never gone through it though. Mine is password protect, but she knows the code. I don't think she's ever been through it. I wouldn't care anyway.
^ ditto in all respects.Me and the previous GF were both quite carefree about our phones for years, until one day she wasn't; I doubt I need to fill in the blanks.
Current GF doesn't have a password on her phone and leaves it lying around, I've never gone through it though. Mine is password protect, but she knows the code. I don't think she's ever been through it. I wouldn't care anyway.
It took me 4 months to get my hands on my ex's phone to prove to myself she was up to something. (with one of my employees ffs!)
sleep envy said:
mrs envy has never demanded to see my phone/emails/texts/whatever but she's more than welcome to, she knows the pass code and can read everything from the ipad at home as it's linked to my phone
she knows that I'd never play away as I couldn't put up with the grief, one woman in my life is plenty arse ache enough
Wait till you get home...she knows that I'd never play away as I couldn't put up with the grief, one woman in my life is plenty arse ache enough
Purity14 said:
Girlfriend looks through my posting history on all the forums I frequent, including my text messages.
She can turn an innocent post about "wanting to visit a location" or "wanting to go to a bike show" into something sinister.
Many times she will just confront me with my phone to ask "what do you mean 'perhaps we should go for a ride on sunday instead'. Perhaps why? What aren't you telling me?"
Me: "Oh your reading my messages to other people again?"
Her: "Stop avoiding the subject!!"
Me: "My friend is busy on saturday and he is free on sunday, read the messages again..!"
Happened so often I now put a password on my phone so she cant look.
Now she is even more paranoid, but at least I don't have to explain the ins and outs of every conversation whilst she is looking for the hidden meaning.
I sometimes catch her trying to spot my password as I type it.
As a precaution I change it every week.
She must have outstanding tits / own a brewery / be a wealthy heiress to put up with crap like that.She can turn an innocent post about "wanting to visit a location" or "wanting to go to a bike show" into something sinister.
Many times she will just confront me with my phone to ask "what do you mean 'perhaps we should go for a ride on sunday instead'. Perhaps why? What aren't you telling me?"
Me: "Oh your reading my messages to other people again?"
Her: "Stop avoiding the subject!!"
Me: "My friend is busy on saturday and he is free on sunday, read the messages again..!"
Happened so often I now put a password on my phone so she cant look.
Now she is even more paranoid, but at least I don't have to explain the ins and outs of every conversation whilst she is looking for the hidden meaning.
I sometimes catch her trying to spot my password as I type it.
As a precaution I change it every week.
Me and my mrs don't bother, I know her PIN, and she knows mine, and if I am driving she'll run the phone for me, replying to texts etc. I'd do the same for her if she was driving, but I wouldn't just snoop for the sake of it, if I didn't trust her that much I wouldn't be living with her.
ascayman said:
Purity14 said:
jdw100 said:
OzzyR1 said:
Purity14 said:
Girlfriend looks through my posting history on all the forums I frequent, including my text messages.
She can turn an innocent post about "wanting to visit a location" or "wanting to go to a bike show" into something sinister.
Many times she will just confront me with my phone to ask "what do you mean 'perhaps we should go for a ride on sunday instead'. Perhaps why? What aren't you telling me?"
Me: "Oh your reading my messages to other people again?"
Her: "Stop avoiding the subject!!"
Me: "My friend is busy on saturday and he is free on sunday, read the messages again..!"
Happened so often I now put a password on my phone so she cant look.
Now she is even more paranoid, but at least I don't have to explain the ins and outs of every conversation whilst she is looking for the hidden meaning.
I sometimes catch her trying to spot my password as I type it.
As a precaution I change it every week.
Genuine question, why do you put up with that?She can turn an innocent post about "wanting to visit a location" or "wanting to go to a bike show" into something sinister.
Many times she will just confront me with my phone to ask "what do you mean 'perhaps we should go for a ride on sunday instead'. Perhaps why? What aren't you telling me?"
Me: "Oh your reading my messages to other people again?"
Her: "Stop avoiding the subject!!"
Me: "My friend is busy on saturday and he is free on sunday, read the messages again..!"
Happened so often I now put a password on my phone so she cant look.
Now she is even more paranoid, but at least I don't have to explain the ins and outs of every conversation whilst she is looking for the hidden meaning.
I sometimes catch her trying to spot my password as I type it.
As a precaution I change it every week.
After I took the decision to remove access to my phone, it took away any possibility of it happening in the future.
It has been nearly a year since I made that decision, and there has been no outbursts in that time, which has been nice for me.
She has questioned on one occasions since then, and asked if I'm hiding anything from her - but I just tell her the truth.
The truth being that I am unwilling to let her look at my messages unsupervised, because she will read something and then spend the next hour twisting it, and whirlwinding it out of proportion.
One of the texts was "Are you going to a bonfire this year?" from a friend, and I replied with "Yeah, I'm getting dragged to <name of a person>'s house, do you wanna come?"
She read it and decided that I didn't actually want to go to a bonfire, that I didn't want to go with her, I must be embarrassed to be seen with her, i'm making her look stupid in front of my friends, and that I don't love her anyway.
My wife and I have access to each other's phones. We're both quite nosey, but not suspicious. Find Friends active as it is a useful tool.
One of the few times I've had a nose through her phone, I ended up ruining a surprise that she was working on, which made me feel quite rubbish so I tend not to bother unless I'm REALLY bored.
I can imagine that trying to keep a secret from a partner would be way more stress than it is worth.
One of the few times I've had a nose through her phone, I ended up ruining a surprise that she was working on, which made me feel quite rubbish so I tend not to bother unless I'm REALLY bored.
I can imagine that trying to keep a secret from a partner would be way more stress than it is worth.
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