Sharing phone / email / texts / computer with partner
Discussion
WinstonWolf said:
sleep envy said:
WinstonWolf said:
Adenauer said:
Winston, WTF is wrong with you?
Is the NSX too much to handle now that you're old?
It's a stupid advert, stop it.
"I solve problems".Is the NSX too much to handle now that you're old?
It's a stupid advert, stop it.
I'm pretty paranoid about losing my phone, so I tend to take it everywhere including the loo - my wife took (GF at the time) took that as suspicious, little did she know that I can't actually poo without playing Candycrush or the like.
I used to keep a separate mobile for work and didn't care so much about it, so she used to occasionally brose through it - I knew because I'd always find the e-mails / texts scrolled to a 'week last Tuesday' and it didn't bother me - if she wanted to read 2 weeks worth of sales reports and such, carry on.
Except one day she found an e-mail conversation between me and a colleague, and it was a pretty badly thought out tirade about our impending wedding that was mostly just a bile spew of pre-wedding jitters and the stress of paying for it - also the colleague was female - she was very unhappy about it, knowing that she'd have to admit she was spying on me she stewed on it for a few hours before she let me have it with both barrels, I didn't much of a defence, it was really nasty in parts and I didn't mean any of it really - I argued about her spying on me but it was a hollow defence really, in the end I said she either could forgive me and move on, or we'd have to call it a day, it was touch and go and in fairness we've moved on and it never comes up again.
I still seem to carry my now-singular mobile with me around the house, although on occasion I have to force myself to leave it where it can be found ha ha - My wife thinks I'm too attached to it and paranoid, but I remind her she once lost a week old iPhone 5 that cost us £500 all told.
I think she thinks she's worried she'll find porn, or heaven forbid messages to other women, but I love my wife and only have eyes for her - what I don't want her to see is how much I spend on my bike stuff or my plans for riding weekends / trips with my mates ha ha.
I used to keep a separate mobile for work and didn't care so much about it, so she used to occasionally brose through it - I knew because I'd always find the e-mails / texts scrolled to a 'week last Tuesday' and it didn't bother me - if she wanted to read 2 weeks worth of sales reports and such, carry on.
Except one day she found an e-mail conversation between me and a colleague, and it was a pretty badly thought out tirade about our impending wedding that was mostly just a bile spew of pre-wedding jitters and the stress of paying for it - also the colleague was female - she was very unhappy about it, knowing that she'd have to admit she was spying on me she stewed on it for a few hours before she let me have it with both barrels, I didn't much of a defence, it was really nasty in parts and I didn't mean any of it really - I argued about her spying on me but it was a hollow defence really, in the end I said she either could forgive me and move on, or we'd have to call it a day, it was touch and go and in fairness we've moved on and it never comes up again.
I still seem to carry my now-singular mobile with me around the house, although on occasion I have to force myself to leave it where it can be found ha ha - My wife thinks I'm too attached to it and paranoid, but I remind her she once lost a week old iPhone 5 that cost us £500 all told.
I think she thinks she's worried she'll find porn, or heaven forbid messages to other women, but I love my wife and only have eyes for her - what I don't want her to see is how much I spend on my bike stuff or my plans for riding weekends / trips with my mates ha ha.
Pappagallo said:
I can imagine that trying to keep a secret from a partner would be way more stress than it is worth.
If people are going to cheat, why on earth would they keep evidence on their phone/email?Or even give their main number out?
I swear some people want to be caught with their pants down..
Purity14 said:
She is a really nice person other than that.
After I took the decision to remove access to my phone, it took away any possibility of it happening in the future.
It has been nearly a year since I made that decision, and there has been no outbursts in that time, which has been nice for me.
She has questioned on one occasions since then, and asked if I'm hiding anything from her - but I just tell her the truth.
The truth being that I am unwilling to let her look at my messages unsupervised, because she will read something and then spend the next hour twisting it, and whirlwinding it out of proportion.
One of the texts was "Are you going to a bonfire this year?" from a friend, and I replied with "Yeah, I'm getting dragged to <name of a person>'s house, do you wanna come?"
She read it and decided that I didn't actually want to go to a bonfire, that I didn't want to go with her, I must be embarrassed to be seen with her, i'm making her look stupid in front of my friends, and that I don't love her anyway.
I simply could not live with that sort of nonsense. It would just frustrate the hell out of me.After I took the decision to remove access to my phone, it took away any possibility of it happening in the future.
It has been nearly a year since I made that decision, and there has been no outbursts in that time, which has been nice for me.
She has questioned on one occasions since then, and asked if I'm hiding anything from her - but I just tell her the truth.
The truth being that I am unwilling to let her look at my messages unsupervised, because she will read something and then spend the next hour twisting it, and whirlwinding it out of proportion.
One of the texts was "Are you going to a bonfire this year?" from a friend, and I replied with "Yeah, I'm getting dragged to <name of a person>'s house, do you wanna come?"
She read it and decided that I didn't actually want to go to a bonfire, that I didn't want to go with her, I must be embarrassed to be seen with her, i'm making her look stupid in front of my friends, and that I don't love her anyway.
Does she have problems at work as well and 'dramas' with friends on a regular basis?
HTP99 said:
I know my wifes e-mail password, her phone isn't password protected, both my iPad and phone are left lying about in the house and she knows the password to get in to both, she will sometimes start using one of them; rather than hers, as they are close to hand, we don't snoop on each others phones or e-mail accounts as we trust each other.
Same here. The fact that either of us could look at the other person's messages means there's not going to be anything to hide and no interest in looking. Pre smartphones I would often phone up from somewhere and ask her to check emails for me and vice versa. Any change in the routine would set our spidey senses tingling.I suspect the handoff feature on IOS 8 is going to cause a lot of relationship breakups.
If devices are linked with the same Apple id and handoff is enabled, voice calls & facetime called made/received/missed are logged on the other handset or iPad! I wondered why I had odd numbers on my call list last week.
If devices are linked with the same Apple id and handoff is enabled, voice calls & facetime called made/received/missed are logged on the other handset or iPad! I wondered why I had odd numbers on my call list last week.
My Mrs would be shocked to read how stupid and childish I can be with my mates, not that surprised but shocked at the level we often descend into, so its probably for the best we dont bother.
So for that reason she doesn't bother, I have no interest in knowing exactly what shes gossiping about with her friends and the only issue I have about the laptop is the browser history, plus shes got an ipad for that so she doesn't bother with mine anymore.
She has all the passwords to my Amazon, Emails, phone and all that anyway just like I have hers.
So for that reason she doesn't bother, I have no interest in knowing exactly what shes gossiping about with her friends and the only issue I have about the laptop is the browser history, plus shes got an ipad for that so she doesn't bother with mine anymore.
She has all the passwords to my Amazon, Emails, phone and all that anyway just like I have hers.
CharlieCrocodile said:
I suspect the handoff feature on IOS 8 is going to cause a lot of relationship breakups.
If devices are linked with the same Apple id and handoff is enabled, voice calls & facetime called made/received/missed are logged on the other handset or iPad! I wondered why I had odd numbers on my call list last week.
you mean the double tap on the home button thingy ?If devices are linked with the same Apple id and handoff is enabled, voice calls & facetime called made/received/missed are logged on the other handset or iPad! I wondered why I had odd numbers on my call list last week.
Purity14 said:
jdw100 said:
Purity14 said:
She is a really nice person other than that.
After I took the decision to remove access to my phone, it took away any possibility of it happening in the future.
It has been nearly a year since I made that decision, and there has been no outbursts in that time, which has been nice for me.
She has questioned on one occasions since then, and asked if I'm hiding anything from her - but I just tell her the truth.
The truth being that I am unwilling to let her look at my messages unsupervised, because she will read something and then spend the next hour twisting it, and whirlwinding it out of proportion.
One of the texts was "Are you going to a bonfire this year?" from a friend, and I replied with "Yeah, I'm getting dragged to <name of a person>'s house, do you wanna come?"
She read it and decided that I didn't actually want to go to a bonfire, that I didn't want to go with her, I must be embarrassed to be seen with her, i'm making her look stupid in front of my friends, and that I don't love her anyway.
I simply could not live with that sort of nonsense. It would just frustrate the hell out of me.After I took the decision to remove access to my phone, it took away any possibility of it happening in the future.
It has been nearly a year since I made that decision, and there has been no outbursts in that time, which has been nice for me.
She has questioned on one occasions since then, and asked if I'm hiding anything from her - but I just tell her the truth.
The truth being that I am unwilling to let her look at my messages unsupervised, because she will read something and then spend the next hour twisting it, and whirlwinding it out of proportion.
One of the texts was "Are you going to a bonfire this year?" from a friend, and I replied with "Yeah, I'm getting dragged to <name of a person>'s house, do you wanna come?"
She read it and decided that I didn't actually want to go to a bonfire, that I didn't want to go with her, I must be embarrassed to be seen with her, i'm making her look stupid in front of my friends, and that I don't love her anyway.
Does she have problems at work as well and 'dramas' with friends on a regular basis?
The only time its an issue is when she has time to think and stew on negative thoughts.
Now that I have taken away access to the phone, there are no outbursts, and nothing to be frustrated by.
My OH is a bit mental, especailly when shes on the rag and her hormones ruun wild.
many a time ive had to explain a text that she has somehow managed to twist into somthing not even remotely close to the truth.
my phone stays close now!
occasionally i ask her whos shes writing to when tapping away, and give her a sly look, more just to let her know what its like,
she knows its b**llocks, i know it is too, we can be quite childish like that (we are late 20's)
shes worth it though, shes my diamond in the rough!
Purity14 said:
Girlfriend looks through my posting history on all the forums I frequent, including my text messages.
She can turn an innocent post about "wanting to visit a location" or "wanting to go to a bike show" into something sinister.
Many times she will just confront me with my phone to ask "what do you mean 'perhaps we should go for a ride on sunday instead'. Perhaps why? What aren't you telling me?"
Me: "Oh your reading my messages to other people again?"
Her: "Stop avoiding the subject!!"
Me: "My friend is busy on saturday and he is free on sunday, read the messages again..!"
Happened so often I now put a password on my phone so she cant look.
Now she is even more paranoid, but at least I don't have to explain the ins and outs of every conversation whilst she is looking for the hidden meaning.
I sometimes catch her trying to spot my password as I type it.
As a precaution I change it every week.
Sort your life out. She can turn an innocent post about "wanting to visit a location" or "wanting to go to a bike show" into something sinister.
Many times she will just confront me with my phone to ask "what do you mean 'perhaps we should go for a ride on sunday instead'. Perhaps why? What aren't you telling me?"
Me: "Oh your reading my messages to other people again?"
Her: "Stop avoiding the subject!!"
Me: "My friend is busy on saturday and he is free on sunday, read the messages again..!"
Happened so often I now put a password on my phone so she cant look.
Now she is even more paranoid, but at least I don't have to explain the ins and outs of every conversation whilst she is looking for the hidden meaning.
I sometimes catch her trying to spot my password as I type it.
As a precaution I change it every week.
We both have iPads and iPhones with passwords. We know each other's passwords, so we use each other's devices perhaps in an emergency, or often if I have no signal or vice versa. . I'd have no qualms about picking up her iPad or vice versa if mine was dead and use it. But I wouldn't go snooping through her mail and texts, and neither would she. It's like a wallet...if I hand her mine, or vice versa, to pay for something, we'll get the money out and put the change in, anything other than that is just an invasion of privacy and lack of trust. She's big enough to go away with the girls and not face 100 questions on her return as am I after a night out/weekend with the boys. And this weekend we are away, just the two of us for some "us" time. We share cars, whichever one is best suited to the drive in hand and is at the end of the driveway will get used.
But goddamit that kerb mark on my bloody alloy. Something you need to tell me love? ;-)
But goddamit that kerb mark on my bloody alloy. Something you need to tell me love? ;-)
Hard-Drive said:
We both have iPads and iPhones with passwords. We know each other's passwords, so we use each other's devices perhaps in an emergency, or often if I have no signal or vice versa. . I'd have no qualms about picking up her iPad or vice versa if mine was dead and use it. But I wouldn't go snooping through her mail and texts, and neither would she. It's like a wallet...if I hand her mine, or vice versa, to pay for something, we'll get the money out and put the change in, anything other than that is just an invasion of privacy and lack of trust. She's big enough to go away with the girls and not face 100 questions on her return as am I after a night out/weekend with the boys. And this weekend we are away, just the two of us for some "us" time. We share cars, whichever one is best suited to the drive in hand and is at the end of the driveway will get used.
But goddamit that kerb mark on my bloody alloy. Something you need to tell me love? ;-)
I can basically just use this response, we're exactly the same. Except i kerbed my own wheels But goddamit that kerb mark on my bloody alloy. Something you need to tell me love? ;-)
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