Thinking of leaving the OH
Discussion
loafer123 said:
3 Get friends with similar aged kids around for Sunday lunch - kids occupy each other and you get to swap war stories that make you realise everyone is going through the same thing to a certain extent.
This is really good advice. Even if you get together for a brew rather than a full on lunch it's nice to be able to talk to other people who are also having sleepless nights / teething / s
t and puke everywhere etc.Does your missus get out and about during the day at all?
I worked for a CEO once. Big brash kind of guy but dedicated, driven and committed. He was married to an amazing women, 3 kids, big house. Not much wrong. Then he met a bird and the next thing I know he has signed over this multi-million pound company and living in a bedsit with this bird.
Here he is, didnt have grey hair when I last saw him.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/netsuite4clouddelivere...
Reading his profile he looks as if he as gone from CEO to a salesman.
In fact the guy was also a bit of a prick and he did me no favours.
Here he is, didnt have grey hair when I last saw him.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/netsuite4clouddelivere...
Reading his profile he looks as if he as gone from CEO to a salesman.
In fact the guy was also a bit of a prick and he did me no favours.
To be honest I haven't read the whole thread but I feel for you fella. Many others in the early pages told you to pull yourself together and get on with relationship with your partner and 18 month old kid. I agree wholeheartedly and think that this is probably the best way forward.
I am now married to my second wife (12 years) and left my first (and two young children) for the excitement of a new found relationship. All the fun was there but I can tell you without hesitation that there is never a day goes by that I don't castigate myself and regret not seeing my kids growing up and joining in on family meals, putting to bed etc. Like you, my first wife and I were kind and considerate with each other and there were never any problems with access or finances. That was down entirely to my ex. When I said I would do something, I did it. I never let the kids down. She is an amazing woman, as you have described your partner. It has been all about the kids and we have been incredibly mature about it.
My second wife is lovely and I have a wonderful life with her but it is fair to say that we both wish our first marriages were perfect enough for us at the time. Who wouldn't think that? Who would really prefer to not have the perfect marriage and see their kids grow up and have families of their own?
If you jump ship, knowing that the lady you currently reside with is everything most of us would want in a partner, please be prepared to feel incredible guilt....for you entire life. It will never subside and anyone who says it does is lying!
Do the right thing fella and stick to the lovely family you have. Best of luck.
I am now married to my second wife (12 years) and left my first (and two young children) for the excitement of a new found relationship. All the fun was there but I can tell you without hesitation that there is never a day goes by that I don't castigate myself and regret not seeing my kids growing up and joining in on family meals, putting to bed etc. Like you, my first wife and I were kind and considerate with each other and there were never any problems with access or finances. That was down entirely to my ex. When I said I would do something, I did it. I never let the kids down. She is an amazing woman, as you have described your partner. It has been all about the kids and we have been incredibly mature about it.
My second wife is lovely and I have a wonderful life with her but it is fair to say that we both wish our first marriages were perfect enough for us at the time. Who wouldn't think that? Who would really prefer to not have the perfect marriage and see their kids grow up and have families of their own?
If you jump ship, knowing that the lady you currently reside with is everything most of us would want in a partner, please be prepared to feel incredible guilt....for you entire life. It will never subside and anyone who says it does is lying!
Do the right thing fella and stick to the lovely family you have. Best of luck.
AndStilliRise said:
I worked for a CEO once. Big brash kind of guy but dedicated, driven and committed. He was married to an amazing women, 3 kids, big house. Not much wrong. Then he met a bird and the next thing I know he has signed over this multi-million pound company and living in a bedsit with this bird.
Here he is, didnt have grey hair when I last saw him.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/netsuite4clouddelivere...
Reading his profile he looks as if he as gone from CEO to a salesman.
In fact the guy was also a bit of a prick and he did me no favours.
He's going to get a shock next time he uses LinkedIn!Here he is, didnt have grey hair when I last saw him.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/netsuite4clouddelivere...
Reading his profile he looks as if he as gone from CEO to a salesman.
In fact the guy was also a bit of a prick and he did me no favours.
Soov535 said:
He's going to get a shock next time he uses LinkedIn!
What gets me, knowing nothing about what/who those other companies are and not being bothered to Google them is why would the former CEO of a company that doesn't sound like it was a 2 man one bedsit operation put this down in their history when they are little more than a posh salesman? (Then again I have heard certain people in the financial industry called that )I mean seriously when I see something like CEO turned Salesman or Teacher turned Cleaner my mind wonders why the job change. Let's face it that there are very few reasons one could think of right now why the apparently mighty might fall so far.
Surely better to leave it silent!
Rude-boy said:
What gets me, knowing nothing about what/who those other companies are and not being bothered to Google them is why would the former CEO of a company that doesn't sound like it was a 2 man one bedsit operation put this down in their history when they are little more than a posh salesman? (Then again I have heard certain people in the financial industry called that )
I mean seriously when I see something like CEO turned Salesman or Teacher turned Cleaner my mind wonders why the job change. Let's face it that there are very few reasons one could think of right now why the apparently mighty might fall so far.
Surely better to leave it silent!
Perhaps they are trying to show what they can achieve?)I mean seriously when I see something like CEO turned Salesman or Teacher turned Cleaner my mind wonders why the job change. Let's face it that there are very few reasons one could think of right now why the apparently mighty might fall so far.
Surely better to leave it silent!
From memory I believe he was being a bit naughty with the finances of the company, something VAT related. I do hope he reads this, that's the thing with revenge, it becomes sweeter the longer it takes!
OP. If you didn't have a child I think a lot more people would say "do it" including me.
But you have a kid, who you openly admit is the centre of your world, and why would you ruin their happiness just to get your knob wet elsewhere? The best thing you can do on here is talk to the OH about how you're feeling, if you're unsure on how you feel, perhaps take some time away to get your head in order.
I messed up a previous relationship with an ex a few years back because of my wandering eye, and I still regret it now, as she was the sweetest, most caring woman I've ever known. That, plus she was fantastic in bed, and she was drop-dead gorgeous (we went out, everybody stared at her!)
But like a complete and utter knobhead I thought the grass would be greener and left her for someone else (I did sit her down and tell her) and found after about 4 months that the grass wasn't greener, it was dog-shyte brown. Of course she had then moved onto someone else and appeared to be happy.
Now, if you hate the idea of another man helping bring up your child, sit the OH down, and as suggested, go out on dates, do the silly things you used to as a couple. FIND TIME FOR EACHOTHER. IMO it's not because you want to play away, it's because you feel unappreciated and ignored and you like having attention and appreciation lavished on you by the other woman.
Man the Fcck up and save the relationship, before you think with your knob and make this biggest mistake of your life.
But you have a kid, who you openly admit is the centre of your world, and why would you ruin their happiness just to get your knob wet elsewhere? The best thing you can do on here is talk to the OH about how you're feeling, if you're unsure on how you feel, perhaps take some time away to get your head in order.
I messed up a previous relationship with an ex a few years back because of my wandering eye, and I still regret it now, as she was the sweetest, most caring woman I've ever known. That, plus she was fantastic in bed, and she was drop-dead gorgeous (we went out, everybody stared at her!)
But like a complete and utter knobhead I thought the grass would be greener and left her for someone else (I did sit her down and tell her) and found after about 4 months that the grass wasn't greener, it was dog-shyte brown. Of course she had then moved onto someone else and appeared to be happy.
Now, if you hate the idea of another man helping bring up your child, sit the OH down, and as suggested, go out on dates, do the silly things you used to as a couple. FIND TIME FOR EACHOTHER. IMO it's not because you want to play away, it's because you feel unappreciated and ignored and you like having attention and appreciation lavished on you by the other woman.
Man the Fcck up and save the relationship, before you think with your knob and make this biggest mistake of your life.
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