Thinking of leaving the OH
Discussion
phil1979 said:
ikarl said:
I think PH is unanimous (for once) in that the grass is rarely any greener and in your circumstances very, very unlikely to be.
Indeed.
Now, who's for a beer and a stagger to the strip club?
king to Pornhub until next payday, as the courts have shafted him for maintenance...The rest of us, let's go. My wife doesn't mind, so long as it's on a strict "look but don't touch" basis.
get yourself a babysitter for a weekend and take your OH away and have fun with no kids or distractions
How would you feel is she was thinking the same as you??? gutted I would imagine
however amicable you think a split involving kids is, it never is and seeing your daughter while you are living a bedsit and your OH has moved a new bloke into the house you will be paying for is very hard..
Imagine not being around your daughter 24/7
How would you feel is she was thinking the same as you??? gutted I would imagine
however amicable you think a split involving kids is, it never is and seeing your daughter while you are living a bedsit and your OH has moved a new bloke into the house you will be paying for is very hard..
Imagine not being around your daughter 24/7
SydneyBridge said:
get yourself a babysitter for a weekend and take your OH away and have fun with no kids or distractions
How would you feel is she was thinking the same as you??? gutted I would imagine
however amicable you think a split involving kids is, it never is and seeing your daughter while you are living a bedsit and your OH has moved a new bloke into the house you will be paying for is very hard..
Imagine not being around your daughter 24/7
No, don't. Imagine having a one hour slot at BK on the motorway once a fortnight.How would you feel is she was thinking the same as you??? gutted I would imagine
however amicable you think a split involving kids is, it never is and seeing your daughter while you are living a bedsit and your OH has moved a new bloke into the house you will be paying for is very hard..
Imagine not being around your daughter 24/7
I see this all the time. Men with their kids at MOTO, snatching a few precious minutes over a Whopper before Mum and their new Daddy come and fetch them.
Right - I think everyone is agreed.
OP what ever the right answer is, the one you suggested isn't it.
The new girl is shiny and new and exciting, and everyone in a long term relationship has had their eye caught at some point by some new woman on the scene - but the majority are grown up enough to recognise what it is (basically your dick) and shrug it off very quickly.
For what ever reason you have decided (incorrectly) that you love this other woman. You sound like you have decided and are looking for vindication from us when you didn't get it from the family and friends. So chances are you will do it anyway.
The 98% probability is it will all go horribly wrong.
You WILL regret it. We WILL say we told you so.
Grow a pair of testicles and be frank with your fiancé about the trouble you are having*, rather than just jumping ship out of the blue.
OP what ever the right answer is, the one you suggested isn't it.
The new girl is shiny and new and exciting, and everyone in a long term relationship has had their eye caught at some point by some new woman on the scene - but the majority are grown up enough to recognise what it is (basically your dick) and shrug it off very quickly.
For what ever reason you have decided (incorrectly) that you love this other woman. You sound like you have decided and are looking for vindication from us when you didn't get it from the family and friends. So chances are you will do it anyway.
The 98% probability is it will all go horribly wrong.
You WILL regret it. We WILL say we told you so.
Grow a pair of testicles and be frank with your fiancé about the trouble you are having*, rather than just jumping ship out of the blue.
- don't mention the other woman as you will lose the testicles you just worked hard to grow.
Edited by Vocal Minority on Tuesday 30th September 14:15
El Guapo said:
Soov535 said:
Don't.
This is sound advice. Most would be very happy with what you have. I isn't all about you any more. Grow up.cut off ties with this blast from the past and focus on getting the passion back with your current, otherwise this will be a decision you end up regretting for a very long time.
What is the relationship status of the other women concerned?
Because if she is single or worse still, in her own relationship have a look at her moral standpoint. She appears quite happy to f*ck up your relationship and family.
Good luck for a life of challenging fulfillment living with someone like that if you decide to bail out.
Little head thinking for the big one OP.
Because if she is single or worse still, in her own relationship have a look at her moral standpoint. She appears quite happy to f*ck up your relationship and family.
Good luck for a life of challenging fulfillment living with someone like that if you decide to bail out.
Little head thinking for the big one OP.
OP, get yourself a porn collection and some tissues.
More seriously.
Start 'dating' your fiancee again. Spend some quality time with her and rediscover each other. Having kids takes a lot out of you physically and emotionally. Forget about the other woman, it won't last and you will fk up the lives of others pursuing it. Enjoy having a family. Kids are rewarding to have and each day gets better as they grow. You are just having a tough time at the moment and need to deal with it
If I have mirrored the things that others have already said, surely this is where you need to be heading.
More seriously.
Start 'dating' your fiancee again. Spend some quality time with her and rediscover each other. Having kids takes a lot out of you physically and emotionally. Forget about the other woman, it won't last and you will f
k up the lives of others pursuing it. Enjoy having a family. Kids are rewarding to have and each day gets better as they grow. You are just having a tough time at the moment and need to deal with itIf I have mirrored the things that others have already said, surely this is where you need to be heading.
OP as almost every single person on here has said "Don't do it!"
I'm all for not sticking around when you are unhappy but that should be tempered by your responsibilities.
As well as the above I can guarantee that if you don't leave the fiancée and your little girl you will wonder "What if?" for the rest of your life. If you do leave them you will regret it for the rest of your life, in addition to making a number of people very unhappy for at least some time.
Look at what you have, is it worth throwing it all away? If the answer is yes I suspect that the fiancée is well shot of you, as would your daughter be, and that the best thing you could do for them is leave their lives now other than the monthly cheques. Don't even think of trying to remain part of your daughter's life, you'll just fk her up more than you will by leaving now.
Harsh but, and I think you will look back in ten years and agree, fair.
I'm all for not sticking around when you are unhappy but that should be tempered by your responsibilities.
As well as the above I can guarantee that if you don't leave the fiancée and your little girl you will wonder "What if?" for the rest of your life. If you do leave them you will regret it for the rest of your life, in addition to making a number of people very unhappy for at least some time.
Look at what you have, is it worth throwing it all away? If the answer is yes I suspect that the fiancée is well shot of you, as would your daughter be, and that the best thing you could do for them is leave their lives now other than the monthly cheques. Don't even think of trying to remain part of your daughter's life, you'll just f
k her up more than you will by leaving now.Harsh but, and I think you will look back in ten years and agree, fair.
Soov535 said:
No, don't. Imagine having a one hour slot at BK on the motorway once a fortnight.
I see this all the time. Men with their kids at MOTO, snatching a few precious minutes over a Whopper before Mum and their Daddy come and fetch them.
What a thoroughly depressing thought. My wife and I went through some really, properly sI see this all the time. Men with their kids at MOTO, snatching a few precious minutes over a Whopper before Mum and their Daddy come and fetch them.
t times a few years ago, but I chose to stay and work through it all (I posted on here at the time and many were calling for her head on a block). We came out the other side stronger, happier and closer than ever before.On the kids front, I couldn't bear the thought of having to snatch a few extra minutes here or there, as my son is everything to me. It was an absolute pleasure when he asked if we could go fishing on Sunday for a few hours. We had a superb time, got home and my Mrs & I then cooked an awesome lunch. Just perfect.
The dynamics of my family was destroyed when my parents split.
Christmas is a nightmare, impossible to keep everyone happy and I hate it (and I'm 34)
The problem I see is that us men always want what we don't have. No different to driving in your red lambo and seeing a yellow one go the other way, your head is still turned even though essentially, underneath they're the same.
I see a lot of couples stagnate in relationships, they see their child as some sort of barrier to engaging with each other socially. I appreciate it can be difficult, but relationships can still require 'work'.
I wouldn't be so quick to relinquish what you appear to have, the grass isn't always greener and your child is your single priority, not you.
Although I appreciate it can be just as bad staying with someone you don't love as it's not fair on them.
Short term, put some effort in. Have a few nights out, do the things you used to do, remember why you got together in the first place.
Christmas is a nightmare, impossible to keep everyone happy and I hate it (and I'm 34)
The problem I see is that us men always want what we don't have. No different to driving in your red lambo and seeing a yellow one go the other way, your head is still turned even though essentially, underneath they're the same.
I see a lot of couples stagnate in relationships, they see their child as some sort of barrier to engaging with each other socially. I appreciate it can be difficult, but relationships can still require 'work'.
I wouldn't be so quick to relinquish what you appear to have, the grass isn't always greener and your child is your single priority, not you.
Although I appreciate it can be just as bad staying with someone you don't love as it's not fair on them.
Short term, put some effort in. Have a few nights out, do the things you used to do, remember why you got together in the first place.
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