How drunk was I last night.

How drunk was I last night.

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so called

Original Poster:

9,074 posts

208 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
quotequote all
I'm at a convention which occurs only every 3 years.
As usual, lots of companies have suites offering free drinks and food smile
This morning woke to the alarm of some guy on the TV waking to his alarm..... 7:56 ... that'swobble handy :
Follow the trail of cloths ...trousers..... shirt.....pants on desk lamp! (how did I get my pants off before my trousers ???) sock...... across the hotel room floor to the bathroom. Another sock (I've reached the bathroom).
Sat on the throne, trying to pick up business cards and a room key off the marble floor with unfocussed eyes..... not easy.
OK why is the shower curtain in the bath ? why is the inner half of the curtain on the floor ??

Sat on the bed 'pop clipping' the inner shower curtain to the outer shower curtain wondering if my colleague is awake.
Start picking up cloths..... trousers are still zipped ? shirt is still buttoned up ......... how the fcensored?????????????????
Obviously my socks are inside out. The lamp on the desk is still wearing my pants smile
Called my colleague and she says "awake, not showered, see you in 1 hour". sounds remarkably bright !!

where last night ?............*Blues......something ?....... free drinks all night smile

Tonight is another invite to a free all night.
Only 56, feel 156............
another day in paradise.

Sharted

2,615 posts

142 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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Blue oyster bar?

frumpytrickle

245 posts

116 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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Mate, check your arse. Sounds like a rapey night.

kowalski655

14,600 posts

142 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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Also check under the bed for dead hookers

so called

Original Poster:

9,074 posts

208 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
quotequote all
laugh Blue oyster bar was a few years back when someone spiked my drink in San Fran.
..........oooh I feel like poo .

The GMan

2,508 posts

254 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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Used to happen to me all the time. Not the sore arse bit.

Checking into a hotel while away on business seems to mean go to the bar and wreck the joint for me.

soad

32,829 posts

175 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
quotequote all
Purity14 said:
I went on a date with some girl, and got really drunk.
Whilst drunk I playfully picked her up and then dropped her onto her face, and she fell unconscious.
An Ambulance turns up, and I get into a taxi. (No idea)
Taxi driver drops me off somewhere that I can't remember.
Then I tried to gain access to someones house so that I could sleep there.
I climbed into their garden, fell into their pond, wiped pond goo over their conservatory windows.
Took my clothes off because they were wet and cold.
Went back round the front and they were shouting through the letter box at me, I peered down to look and when I stood up my cock popped out my buttoned boxers.
They jabbed me in the cock with a broom handle and rendered me immobile on their driveway.
Police came and took me home, wasn't charged.

Items found by police in the garden pond: Shirt, Jeans, Watch, Phone, Trainers, Wallet.

Embarrassment all round.
Dated girl for 3 years.
Haven't drank since.
Classy act! rofl

BryanC

1,107 posts

237 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
quotequote all
You can never be too sure.
Went to a Festival this August and ended the evening slightly over-refreshed but nothing too heavy and slept like a log.
Next morning, I woke, climbed out of my tent, said to my mate that we had a great night last night and this complete stranger walked by and without pausing said ' Bryan - You were fantastic last night - never seen anything like it'. TBH, I didn't understand what he was on about as I was still waking up so was just confused and shrugged.
His mate then walked by on his way to the loos and said ' Bryan - you absolutely awesome last night - will never forget it', and he walked on.....
It took a while for my mate to laugh and suggest these two guys had just heard him mention my name and they had just sown a seed of doubt that perhaps I had been more slaughtered than I realised but no - it was just a bit unsettling for a moment. A good jape tho, and sufficient for me to use the same technique on a lady, complete stranger I might add, and in a restaurant in front of her friends who had used her name in my earshot. The result - she glowed in her immediate street cred in front of her friends and she came over and gave me a hug and kiss.
Could have gone either way tho !


THX

2,348 posts

121 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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Most mornings after I've been out I have to adopt the mind of a top detective to fathom what when on during my closing hours.

I'm getting good at 'tracking' my last movements before bed, but every so often a little clue pops up that has me silently mouthing the words... "What the f*ck?!"

ecs

1,222 posts

169 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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I think there needs to be a drinking version of Strava!

anonymous-user

53 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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This is the plot to The Hangover, surely?

THX

2,348 posts

121 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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Purity14 said:
THX said:
I'm getting good at 'tracking' my last movements before bed, but every so often a little clue pops up that has me silently mouthing the words... "What the f*ck?!"
Like that time you ran out of Toilet roll and you used Vaseline in and around your anus so that you didn't have to wipe?

You were freaking out in the morning that you had been bummed.

We were all like Vaseline lol?
That, plus some 'hilarious' toilet location issues.

HTP99

22,445 posts

139 months

Tuesday 14th October 2014
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Years ago after a work Christmas do at a pub that I worked at I woke up in the morning on my dads sofa with not a clue how I ended up there; I didn't live there and hadn't done for about 10 years however he only lives two roads away from me.

I didn't feel all that and had a banging headache so stumbled to the full length mirror in the hall to have a look at myself, I had a massive gash on my forehead and a blood covered shirt ripped shirt, I looked at my hands as they hurt; my palms were ripped to shreds and covered in grit, at that point I had no recollection of what went on.

My watch was missing too.

Anyway it transpired that I got rather drunk and dissapeared from the pub, a phone call was taken from a local who almost hit me in their car as I was wandering up the middle of the road, the mum in law; she worked at the pub also, dispatched her son to find me, he found me wandering along a dual carriageway against the flow of traffic, fortunately it was late and the road was relatively empty.

Brother in law took me home and the wife refused to have me so he was told to take me round to my dads, hence why I woke up there.

Over the course of the next few days; as well as a banging headache and aching arms the reason for my headache; which by the way was a headache that I had not experienced before, became apparent as certain memories came back. Basically I had fallen over and headbutted the pavement, I think the aching arms and ripped up hands with grit imbedded in them was me trying to stop myself falling over by putting out my hands, as you do. I am pretty sure the headache was a bit of concussion.

The watch was never found.

Still to this day, about ten years later, the wife likes to remind me of this little escapade.

In all seriousness though it is scary what too much alcohol can do to you.

One odd thing with what happened to me; if I drink too much I throw up and fall asleep, that night I didn't; very strange.

Edited by HTP99 on Tuesday 14th October 17:43


Edited by HTP99 on Tuesday 14th October 17:44

so called

Original Poster:

9,074 posts

208 months

Wednesday 15th October 2014
quotequote all
Purity14 said:
I went on a date with some girl, and got really drunk.
Whilst drunk I playfully picked her up and then dropped her onto her face, and she fell unconscious.
An Ambulance turns up, and I get into a taxi. (No idea)
Taxi driver drops me off somewhere that I can't remember.
Then I tried to gain access to someones house so that I could sleep there.
I climbed into their garden, fell into their pond, wiped pond goo over their conservatory windows.
Took my clothes off because they were wet and cold.
Went back round the front and they were shouting through the letter box at me, I peered down to look and when I stood up my cock popped out my buttoned boxers.
They jabbed me in the cock with a broom handle and rendered me immobile on their driveway.
Police came and took me home, wasn't charged.

Items found by police in the garden pond: Shirt, Jeans, Watch, Phone, Trainers, Wallet.

Embarrassment all round.
Dated girl for 3 years.
Haven't drank since.
Whow that is brilliant.
Beats any of my stories hands down.

One of my better ones was when I walked back from Slopy Joes bar in Key West Florida gave my shoes away to a street sleeper because I hadn't got any money left.
Of course It started to rain, I was too drunk to find ma hotel and the police officer wasn't too impressed about the shoe thing.

Brigand

2,544 posts

168 months

Wednesday 15th October 2014
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I spent far too many nights as an Airman getting blind drunk, its a wonder I'm still here to recount the stories! I seem to be of the type who can pack away an inordinate amount of alcohol of all types and stay at a fairly drunk stage for a while, only for a switch to be flicked and I just become a jibbering wreck rapidly.

The first time I ever got drunk was when I was about eighteen I think. I only remember waking up the next day in bed with the contents of my stomach on the pillow next to me and the contents of my bladder a puddle between my legs. Looking around my room my TV was on but muted and facing away from me (I'd turned it around for some reason) a HiFi speaker was on the floor, my trousers were at the end of my bed inside out whilst my clothes were scattered around the room. I can only assume my dad, who I lived with at the time, undressed me and plonked me in bed. Later that day my neighbour casually asked me if I had been raped that night, as all the banging and crashing from my room had got his attention!

My twenty-first birthday was spent in the Qatari desert on the US airbase in al-Udeid. We had ration cards for booze at the base bar and the lads used their rations to get me drunk on lager and red wine. The following morning I was awoken by the chap in the bunk below me smacking me in the chest shouting "You dirty bd, get this st cleaned up now" before storming out of the tent. As I focused from my assault I found my chest covered in red wine, popcorn shells and sick, and the contents of my bladder between my legs and subsequently dripping onto the poor sod below me.

Come to think of it, I think my drunken escapades of my twenties normally ended with me pissing myself. Thankfully its not something that afflicts me anymore now that I'm into my thirties and hangovers of even mediocre nights out have turned into two-day affairs.

dazwalsh

6,095 posts

140 months

Wednesday 15th October 2014
quotequote all
You haven't lived until you have stumbled to the bathroom smashed and attempt to hit the target with your piss, realise your going to puke like NOW!, attempt to barf and piss at the same time, stumble and fall back into the towel radiator almost knocking yourself out whilst both ends still are ejecting their contents.

Ah the fond memories of the first date with the mrs.

I got a text a few days after that saying there was a good amount of piss in the toilet brush holder too.

Oh and another time, again in the bathroom i attempted to lay a cable in the cistern of my mates toilet for a prank and fell off mid poo. I wasn't quite so drunk that time but lets just say i made a mess.

Edited by dazwalsh on Wednesday 15th October 02:01

K50 DEL

9,227 posts

227 months

Wednesday 15th October 2014
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I've lived a sheltered life..... the worst I have ever done is thrown up on my mate's patio aged 16.

Since then I've never vomited, pissed myself, st in a wardrobe (or anywhere other than a toilet for that matter) woken up with a headache, not remembered what I've done or any of the things mentioned above.

It appears I know when to stop drinking!!

Brigand

2,544 posts

168 months

Wednesday 15th October 2014
quotequote all
K50 DEL said:
......It appears I know when to stop drinking!!
Its a trait worth keeping and relishing, I can tell you!

I'm lucky if I get a night out once every couple of months these days, and I seem to just go at it like a loon now, making up for the socialising I've been missing the past few weeks. I always regret it the next day.

TotalControl

8,017 posts

197 months

Wednesday 15th October 2014
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shout Harry Flashman, your thread is here. hehe

lerd

227 posts

195 months

Wednesday 15th October 2014
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I had been going out with my girlfriend 4 years and I was 21 her dad was an ex bouncer but a nice chap but he would never let me stay, out of the blue my girlfriend said dad said you can stay fri night
I said I would stay but I'd arranged to meet my cousin for a session at the local pub
Girlfriend said ok here is the key don't be late
Got to the pub late at 9 and only had 3 or 4 pints and after the pub we got something to eat and at midnight decided to walk to the girlfriends house
Unbeknown to me just before I left some one had put an acid tab in my drink while I was in the toilet, now I don't do any drugs at all and never have and the last 100 yards to her house were very strange indeed but the beer scooter got me there
At the front door the the door was now breathing in and out and the Yale lock was going round and round like a Katherine wheel, after 20 mins of fumbling I made it through the door to be greeted by a staircase that went on forever(so it seemed) and went up and down like a wave so I reached for the bannister but it was going left to right so up the roller costerstairs I went
Got to the top and the beer the food and drugs were just too much so I went to the bathroom locked the door and headed for the throne,I sat down then toppled forward with my trousers round my ankles and passed out
Sometime later I was woken by her dad saying ' you alright in there? I whimpered and tried to sound ok with a yea I'm fine thanks. I looked down to see my body laying in puke and st and piss all over their carpet ( yes carpet in the bathroom)
I tried to tidy myself and fell over and was generally in a right state when my girlfriend came to the rescue and cleaned me up put me to bed then cleaned the mess up ( she had to be up early for work)
Next day I woke up and all of a sudden thought st!!! Her dads gonna kill me!
But after listening for a while I found out I was alone so thought the best plan was to get the hell out while I could so got out while the going was good
Went back a few days later fearing the worse and nothing was said
Think the girlfriend must have done a good job cleaning up but she did tell me she blamed the pooh on the dog
Phew!