How drunk was I last night.
Discussion
K50 DEL said:
I've lived a sheltered life..... the worst I have ever done is thrown up on my mate's patio aged 16.
Since then I've never vomited, pissed myself, s
t in a wardrobe (or anywhere other than a toilet for that matter) woken up with a headache, not remembered what I've done or any of the things mentioned above.
It appears I know when to stop drinking!!
You're very lucky. Last Friday I went for a beer. To be fair I ended up having two in the pub, plus one Guinness in the late night bar in town. And some mineral water with a curry. Woke up with the mother of all headaches.Since then I've never vomited, pissed myself, s
t in a wardrobe (or anywhere other than a toilet for that matter) woken up with a headache, not remembered what I've done or any of the things mentioned above.It appears I know when to stop drinking!!
I'm quite good at doing stupid things when i'm drunk.
At our school leavers party some years ago (aged about 16), we were camping in the garden as there was a few of us, in our infinite wisdom, we decided to get back to the tents by jumping through the trees & over the fence, instead of walking through the gate. This meant standing on a bank & taking a 2 step 'run' & jumping through the connifers, this meant you cleared a 1ft gap between the connifers & the fence, you then landed 3ft lower in the field by the tens.
When stood on the outside, all you would see was someone disappear through some trees.
This was going well for everyone until it was my friends turn, in full DJ he ran through the connifers, but didn't jump, clipping his feet on the top of the fence & landing face first in the field, swiftyl followed by me, who landed on him.
Past epidoes have included throwing my new pair of shoes in the harbour, followed by my house keys, then getting home to have to shout, wake the neighbours up to get in.
I've been run over drunk, althought in fairness that wasn't my fault, the guy was on the wrong side of the road drink driving.
Being so drunk & trying to navigate in the dark to the bathroom, grabbing hold of a door but it was locked so pee'd on the floor (thinking i'd locked myself in the bathroom), then throwing up in my bed, waking in the morning to find my bed sheet in the toilet, i can only fathom i tried washing the sheet in the toilet.
At our school leavers party some years ago (aged about 16), we were camping in the garden as there was a few of us, in our infinite wisdom, we decided to get back to the tents by jumping through the trees & over the fence, instead of walking through the gate. This meant standing on a bank & taking a 2 step 'run' & jumping through the connifers, this meant you cleared a 1ft gap between the connifers & the fence, you then landed 3ft lower in the field by the tens.
When stood on the outside, all you would see was someone disappear through some trees.
This was going well for everyone until it was my friends turn, in full DJ he ran through the connifers, but didn't jump, clipping his feet on the top of the fence & landing face first in the field, swiftyl followed by me, who landed on him.
Past epidoes have included throwing my new pair of shoes in the harbour, followed by my house keys, then getting home to have to shout, wake the neighbours up to get in.
I've been run over drunk, althought in fairness that wasn't my fault, the guy was on the wrong side of the road drink driving.
Being so drunk & trying to navigate in the dark to the bathroom, grabbing hold of a door but it was locked so pee'd on the floor (thinking i'd locked myself in the bathroom), then throwing up in my bed, waking in the morning to find my bed sheet in the toilet, i can only fathom i tried washing the sheet in the toilet.
As well as the falling down a roadworks hole, almost burning the house down with aftershave, deoderant and an empty JD bottle, and countless other silly things, these stick out in my mind.
One friday evening, local pub, a mate's birthday.
I was being slightly sensible as I was working from 9am until 1pm the next day, so declined the invite of continuing the night in town.
My mates headed into town, I stood at the bar finishing my last (of quite a few) pint.
In walk two quite attractive girls, a little older than me.
We got talking, I got drinking again, and I got quite 'friendly' with one of them.
"Coming into town with us?", she said.
"Yeah, sure!". So we got a taxi into town and got completely smashed in a club.
Some time later, I have no idea how long, I woke up on the pavement outside the local Peugeot dealership by a group of three or four young Japanese people. As I woke I heard a girl say "Is he dead?".
They very kindly insisted on giving me a lift home, about three miles away, result!
They dropped me off at home, I thanked them (I do remember doing that) and I presume I went straight to bed.
At about 11:15am I woke up, got to work nearly three hours late and wasn't much use to anyone for the last hour or so anyway.
Never saw the two girls again either!
Another time, living with parents, I got home in the early hours, wrecked, and must have felt a bit peckish.
I put a pizza under the grill, switched it on, then went to bed.
The smoke alarm woke everyone up except me, mother slapping me round the face didn't work either.
When I eventually woke I couldn't understand why they weren't being very nice to me, until I was shown a surprisingly small black pizza!
I once had a chalk outline drawn around me by the landlord of a pub when I fell asleep on the front door step.
I heard later that the gossip amongst the, mostly elderly, locals the next day involved there being a body found outside the pub!
One friday evening, local pub, a mate's birthday.
I was being slightly sensible as I was working from 9am until 1pm the next day, so declined the invite of continuing the night in town.
My mates headed into town, I stood at the bar finishing my last (of quite a few) pint.
In walk two quite attractive girls, a little older than me.
We got talking, I got drinking again, and I got quite 'friendly' with one of them.
"Coming into town with us?", she said.
"Yeah, sure!". So we got a taxi into town and got completely smashed in a club.
Some time later, I have no idea how long, I woke up on the pavement outside the local Peugeot dealership by a group of three or four young Japanese people. As I woke I heard a girl say "Is he dead?".
They very kindly insisted on giving me a lift home, about three miles away, result!
They dropped me off at home, I thanked them (I do remember doing that) and I presume I went straight to bed.
At about 11:15am I woke up, got to work nearly three hours late and wasn't much use to anyone for the last hour or so anyway.
Never saw the two girls again either!
Another time, living with parents, I got home in the early hours, wrecked, and must have felt a bit peckish.
I put a pizza under the grill, switched it on, then went to bed.
The smoke alarm woke everyone up except me, mother slapping me round the face didn't work either.
When I eventually woke I couldn't understand why they weren't being very nice to me, until I was shown a surprisingly small black pizza!
I once had a chalk outline drawn around me by the landlord of a pub when I fell asleep on the front door step.
I heard later that the gossip amongst the, mostly elderly, locals the next day involved there being a body found outside the pub!
Some of these stories are hilarious. I have quite a few daft ones but this is probably the most recent.
Out with the Mrs earlier this year and met up with a few friends we haven't seen in a while. Everyone is slowly getting pissed drinking beer, wine and the usual stuff. Starts getting a bit later on in the night and shots get mentioned!
One of the lads used to work in a bar so knew all sorts of weird shots most of us hadn't heard of, anyway we (mainly the lads) get a good few shots down us ranging from baileys mixed with something to spirit type shots.
At the end of the night I knew I was completely fooked, I was at that point were you can feel your head spinning and every step you make is an achievement. As you can guess the mrs wasn't best pleased and after the usual ear full she gets me home and leaves me to sleep/pass out on the sofa.
Not much memory of this but some point in the night I was sick all over the place and had cleaned it up (poor effort) thankfully we had tiles. Woke up the next morn and jumped in the shower after a few mins the door flys open and the other half is going absolutely ape-st holding the bin which is full of sick stained tea-towels.. Next she pulls out her make up bag which was on a cabinet near the sofa full of the usual brushes, mascara etc all of which is bathing in sick!
Jesus christ did I get a bking haha.
Made it even worse when I am stood there in the shower bk naked shaking with the hang over from hell and she's going mad!!
Out with the Mrs earlier this year and met up with a few friends we haven't seen in a while. Everyone is slowly getting pissed drinking beer, wine and the usual stuff. Starts getting a bit later on in the night and shots get mentioned!
One of the lads used to work in a bar so knew all sorts of weird shots most of us hadn't heard of, anyway we (mainly the lads) get a good few shots down us ranging from baileys mixed with something to spirit type shots.
At the end of the night I knew I was completely fooked, I was at that point were you can feel your head spinning and every step you make is an achievement. As you can guess the mrs wasn't best pleased and after the usual ear full she gets me home and leaves me to sleep/pass out on the sofa.
Not much memory of this but some point in the night I was sick all over the place and had cleaned it up (poor effort) thankfully we had tiles. Woke up the next morn and jumped in the shower after a few mins the door flys open and the other half is going absolutely ape-s
t holding the bin which is full of sick stained tea-towels.. Next she pulls out her make up bag which was on a cabinet near the sofa full of the usual brushes, mascara etc all of which is bathing in sick!Jesus christ did I get a b
king haha. Made it even worse when I am stood there in the shower b
k naked shaking with the hang over from hell and she's going mad!!lerd said:
I had been going out with my girlfriend 4 years and I was 21 her dad was an ex bouncer but a nice chap but he would never let me stay, out of the blue my girlfriend said dad said you can stay fri night
I said I would stay but I'd arranged to meet my cousin for a session at the local pub
Girlfriend said ok here is the key don't be late
Got to the pub late at 9 and only had 3 or 4 pints and after the pub we got something to eat and at midnight decided to walk to the girlfriends house
Unbeknown to me just before I left some one had put an acid tab in my drink while I was in the toilet, now I don't do any drugs at all and never have and the last 100 yards to her house were very strange indeed but the beer scooter got me there
At the front door the the door was now breathing in and out and the Yale lock was going round and round like a Katherine wheel, after 20 mins of fumbling I made it through the door to be greeted by a staircase that went on forever(so it seemed) and went up and down like a wave so I reached for the bannister but it was going left to right so up the roller costerstairs I went
Got to the top and the beer the food and drugs were just too much so I went to the bathroom locked the door and headed for the throne,I sat down then toppled forward with my trousers round my ankles and passed out
Sometime later I was woken by her dad saying ' you alright in there? I whimpered and tried to sound ok with a yea I'm fine thanks. I looked down to see my body laying in puke and st and piss all over their carpet ( yes carpet in the bathroom)
I tried to tidy myself and fell over and was generally in a right state when my girlfriend came to the rescue and cleaned me up put me to bed then cleaned the mess up ( she had to be up early for work)
Next day I woke up and all of a sudden thought st!!! Her dads gonna kill me!
But after listening for a while I found out I was alone so thought the best plan was to get the hell out while I could so got out while the going was good
Went back a few days later fearing the worse and nothing was said
Think the girlfriend must have done a good job cleaning up but she did tell me she blamed the pooh on the dog
Phew!
Mate.... that is absolutely grim.I said I would stay but I'd arranged to meet my cousin for a session at the local pub
Girlfriend said ok here is the key don't be late
Got to the pub late at 9 and only had 3 or 4 pints and after the pub we got something to eat and at midnight decided to walk to the girlfriends house
Unbeknown to me just before I left some one had put an acid tab in my drink while I was in the toilet, now I don't do any drugs at all and never have and the last 100 yards to her house were very strange indeed but the beer scooter got me there
At the front door the the door was now breathing in and out and the Yale lock was going round and round like a Katherine wheel, after 20 mins of fumbling I made it through the door to be greeted by a staircase that went on forever(so it seemed) and went up and down like a wave so I reached for the bannister but it was going left to right so up the roller costerstairs I went
Got to the top and the beer the food and drugs were just too much so I went to the bathroom locked the door and headed for the throne,I sat down then toppled forward with my trousers round my ankles and passed out
Sometime later I was woken by her dad saying ' you alright in there? I whimpered and tried to sound ok with a yea I'm fine thanks. I looked down to see my body laying in puke and s
t and piss all over their carpet ( yes carpet in the bathroom)I tried to tidy myself and fell over and was generally in a right state when my girlfriend came to the rescue and cleaned me up put me to bed then cleaned the mess up ( she had to be up early for work)
Next day I woke up and all of a sudden thought s
t!!! Her dads gonna kill me!But after listening for a while I found out I was alone so thought the best plan was to get the hell out while I could so got out while the going was good
Went back a few days later fearing the worse and nothing was said
Think the girlfriend must have done a good job cleaning up but she did tell me she blamed the pooh on the dog
Phew!
New Year's Eve 05/06, I was working in Toulouse, away from the wife. Several of us went out for drinks and a meal to celebrate. I truly can't remember much after the restaurant but I was told afterwards I had consumed a couple of bottles of red, several pints of beer, whiskey and a bottle of champagne.
Retired to my hotel in the early hours a fell into the drunken sleep. For what must have been no more than half an hour. When I woke up, I was feeling funny. And strangely warm. And assaulted by an awful smell. I had managed to st the bed. When I realised, I promptly threw up. So, in a bit of a state and emotional, I called the wife, distraught, to seek advice.
Not best pleased at being woken by her pissed up fool of a husband, she told me to go back to sleep and sort it in the morning.
Lunch time I awoke, now sober-ish. In a st cocoon. Set like concrete. Disaster scene of a hotel room. Decide on shower and make a start cleaning up. Except the bathroom was destroyed, sink off the wall, shower door off its hinges, wrecked, more st and sick everywhere. Dirty protest hand prints up the walls.
I spent the next week cleaning, and repairing the room but try as I might, the smell wouldn't go. I had magic trees hung in the room, like the scene for the film se7en. I paid another weeks money to the hotel, then did a runner.
Retired to my hotel in the early hours a fell into the drunken sleep. For what must have been no more than half an hour. When I woke up, I was feeling funny. And strangely warm. And assaulted by an awful smell. I had managed to s
t the bed. When I realised, I promptly threw up. So, in a bit of a state and emotional, I called the wife, distraught, to seek advice.Not best pleased at being woken by her pissed up fool of a husband, she told me to go back to sleep and sort it in the morning.
Lunch time I awoke, now sober-ish. In a s
t cocoon. Set like concrete. Disaster scene of a hotel room. Decide on shower and make a start cleaning up. Except the bathroom was destroyed, sink off the wall, shower door off its hinges, wrecked, more st and sick everywhere. Dirty protest hand prints up the walls. I spent the next week cleaning, and repairing the room but try as I might, the smell wouldn't go. I had magic trees hung in the room, like the scene for the film se7en. I paid another weeks money to the hotel, then did a runner.
At University, 20 odd years ago I lived in a Uni house. I was the only bloke in the house the rest of the housemates were girls.
I went to some Spanish blokes party and I remember being asked to leave for some reason.
They had made sangria in grey metal waste bins and I am told I submerged my head in one, this being the reason for being thrown out.
The next thing I know is that I wake up naked lying on my bed. There is silly string (rubbery string stuff from a spray can). All over my body with a lot of it spayed all over by cock and balls.
My head is pounding with an intensity that almost makes me blind. I survey the room. Next to the bed is a bin full of sangria. On my bedside tabe lie my watch and glasses. Neatly folded on a chair are my clothes, shoes stowed underneath with socks neatly stuffed in.
I need to be sick, and as I live on the ground floor I stumble naked into the kitchen to go to the downstairs loo. The dining area floor is littered with sleeping German students. I know they are German because I wake one by standing on them and they start complaining in German. I have a puke and go back to bed.
Eventually the house was up and I get up to face the music. Everything is normal. Everyine is nice to me, no smirks funny looks or remarks.
I ask what happened. They just reply "nothing.". There is the odd niggling shared smile between them. Nothing more. I ask why there were Germans all over the floor. The reply. "Oh they went to Germany."
Over the coming months and years I ask them about that night. As a group and as individuals they aoways smile and reply "nothing.".
A few years ago, I reconnected with one of my housemates on Facebook. After a bit of catching up on life over the last 20 years I type the words. "What happened on the night I woke up with silly string etc....".
Her reply. "Nothing"
I have my theories.
Someone got me undressed. Even when stone cold sober I never fold up clothes. I am very untidy. I have never owned silly string.
There was a girl in the house. A very religious American exchange student. Beautiful face, long dark hair, but sadly for her she was the size of the USS Nimitz. A couple of my housemates said she fancied me.
I think it is possible she may have had her wicked way with me, though I have zero memory of this. No flash backs, nothing.
That however doesn't account for the silly string or the kitchen full of Germans.
I went to some Spanish blokes party and I remember being asked to leave for some reason.
They had made sangria in grey metal waste bins and I am told I submerged my head in one, this being the reason for being thrown out.
The next thing I know is that I wake up naked lying on my bed. There is silly string (rubbery string stuff from a spray can). All over my body with a lot of it spayed all over by cock and balls.
My head is pounding with an intensity that almost makes me blind. I survey the room. Next to the bed is a bin full of sangria. On my bedside tabe lie my watch and glasses. Neatly folded on a chair are my clothes, shoes stowed underneath with socks neatly stuffed in.
I need to be sick, and as I live on the ground floor I stumble naked into the kitchen to go to the downstairs loo. The dining area floor is littered with sleeping German students. I know they are German because I wake one by standing on them and they start complaining in German. I have a puke and go back to bed.
Eventually the house was up and I get up to face the music. Everything is normal. Everyine is nice to me, no smirks funny looks or remarks.
I ask what happened. They just reply "nothing.". There is the odd niggling shared smile between them. Nothing more. I ask why there were Germans all over the floor. The reply. "Oh they went to Germany."
Over the coming months and years I ask them about that night. As a group and as individuals they aoways smile and reply "nothing.".
A few years ago, I reconnected with one of my housemates on Facebook. After a bit of catching up on life over the last 20 years I type the words. "What happened on the night I woke up with silly string etc....".
Her reply. "Nothing"
I have my theories.
Someone got me undressed. Even when stone cold sober I never fold up clothes. I am very untidy. I have never owned silly string.
There was a girl in the house. A very religious American exchange student. Beautiful face, long dark hair, but sadly for her she was the size of the USS Nimitz. A couple of my housemates said she fancied me.
I think it is possible she may have had her wicked way with me, though I have zero memory of this. No flash backs, nothing.
That however doesn't account for the silly string or the kitchen full of Germans.
Edited by wildcat45 on Wednesday 15th October 23:30
numtumfutunch said:
No stories of amnesic waking up to find your credit cards strewn over the floor with your PC logged on to Ebay?
I woke up and my girlfriend asked when I was going to pick up the Maserati.I had to think about it and "Oh, yeah!", was about all I had to say.
I'd bought a knackered Biturbo for £550 on Ebay, 200+ miles away.
numtumfutunch said:
classy thread 
No stories of amnesic waking up to find your credit cards strewn over the floor with your PC logged on to Ebay?
I woke once on the floor, under my desk, with the red neon lights inside my PC slowly switching on and off with the machine going **Whiiiiirrrr tick! Whiiiiiiirrrr tick! Whiiiirrrr tick!* as the thing tried to boot up and failed, resetting itself over and over.No stories of amnesic waking up to find your credit cards strewn over the floor with your PC logged on to Ebay?
No idea why this was happening, but I'd clearly come home, tried to switch it on but collapsed on it, caused it to have some kind of error that kept it in a boot/reset cycle for hours on end whilst I laid next to it unconscious.
Oh I used my RAF work shirt to mop up the sick I found next to me when I woke as well. (Not sharing the floor with the contents of my bladder this time) It was covered in bile stains despite washing it so I had to rip it in a convincing manner and return it to the base storeman and ask for a replacement, as I'd had a "work incident" whilst wearing it.
Years ago I was roadie for a D.J. mate of mine at a gig in the posh West End of Glasgow; my pay was a fiver & all the beer I could drink. The D.J. had a pal who invited us to sleep over at his luxury flat, my 'bed' being the couch in the lounge.
In the middle of the night I woke up, desperate for a slash, but in complete darkness I didn't know where I was & fumbling around, falling over things, couldn't find a light switch. In my drunken state I imagined I was in a toilet. Hearing a commotion, the flat owner came through, switched on a light, to see me standing peeing against his lounge wall, all over the shag-pile...
In the middle of the night I woke up, desperate for a slash, but in complete darkness I didn't know where I was & fumbling around, falling over things, couldn't find a light switch. In my drunken state I imagined I was in a toilet. Hearing a commotion, the flat owner came through, switched on a light, to see me standing peeing against his lounge wall, all over the shag-pile...
Friend of mine used to own a hotel/restaurant place in Norfolk.
The ex wife and I visited him once.
First thing Charlie did was inform his bar staff I was his mate and would be serving myself for the night, I figured that was pretty kind....
After a few pints of ale and some shots we finally retired to our room. I was somewhat inebriated to say the least.
I finally gave up and headed for the dunny and started my now common ritual of throwing up before settling in for a night in the lavvy. Ex Mrs Tack kindly stood by me as I emptied my stomach. All was fine until I lent back from the throne to discover a puddle of piss between my legs!
Not on the same level as some of the stories but the only time I’ve lost control of my bowls.
The ex wife and I visited him once.
First thing Charlie did was inform his bar staff I was his mate and would be serving myself for the night, I figured that was pretty kind....
After a few pints of ale and some shots we finally retired to our room. I was somewhat inebriated to say the least.
I finally gave up and headed for the dunny and started my now common ritual of throwing up before settling in for a night in the lavvy. Ex Mrs Tack kindly stood by me as I emptied my stomach. All was fine until I lent back from the throne to discover a puddle of piss between my legs!
Not on the same level as some of the stories but the only time I’ve lost control of my bowls.
1989 - I was a young squaddie based in Catterick. Myself and this young WRAC were often swapping innuendo laden comments and perverse suggestions, this went on for quite some time until eventually, after a few beers in the on camp NAAFI bar I asked her out for a proper date.
On a Saturday afternoon we went into Richmond and started drinking, pub to pub, met up with a few familiar faces, turned down the offer of a night on the lash in Darlington as we had "other plans".
So, pretty p*ssed up and gagging for some grub we had some form of chicken dinner and a few more drinks and then continued to complete our date - we had a room at The Scotch Corner Hotel. The pair of us were as randy as hell, just gagging to get into the room and get down and dirty after all of the build up and lustful intentions.
Once in the room things were just about to get interesting when suddenly she needed an emergency visit to the en suite - damn, so did I. FFS it must have been the chicken we both had eaten but OH MY WORD what a nightmare!!!
We were both sh*tfaced, naked and she was on the bog doing what was unavoidable, I was in need of the same thing and there was no way I had time to get to another loo in the Hotel. I did the only thing possible rather than drop a portion on the floor.
I hung my backdoor over the wash basin and found some relief.
We were both blasting out the nasty and p*ssing ourselves laughing at the same time - crazy days.
We jumped into the shower together and took care of the hygiene requirements before getting ourselves back into the swing of things - great sex if I am honest, just a shame about the build up.
On a Saturday afternoon we went into Richmond and started drinking, pub to pub, met up with a few familiar faces, turned down the offer of a night on the lash in Darlington as we had "other plans".
So, pretty p*ssed up and gagging for some grub we had some form of chicken dinner and a few more drinks and then continued to complete our date - we had a room at The Scotch Corner Hotel. The pair of us were as randy as hell, just gagging to get into the room and get down and dirty after all of the build up and lustful intentions.
Once in the room things were just about to get interesting when suddenly she needed an emergency visit to the en suite - damn, so did I. FFS it must have been the chicken we both had eaten but OH MY WORD what a nightmare!!!
We were both sh*tfaced, naked and she was on the bog doing what was unavoidable, I was in need of the same thing and there was no way I had time to get to another loo in the Hotel. I did the only thing possible rather than drop a portion on the floor.
I hung my backdoor over the wash basin and found some relief.
We were both blasting out the nasty and p*ssing ourselves laughing at the same time - crazy days.
We jumped into the shower together and took care of the hygiene requirements before getting ourselves back into the swing of things - great sex if I am honest, just a shame about the build up.
Vegas 5 years ago.
I sh!t you not it was just like the Hangover film. Woke to an empty room, crashed out on the floor with just the hotel phone in the middle of the room. Turns out all the bedroom furniture had been moved into the bathroom, god knows how and why still to this day I don’t know how/why!!
The night was a endless blur and only recollected from photos on our phones the following day. To sum the night up it was a whirl wind of drinking, laughing, shots and arm wrestling/ head locking a “Vegas Associate", followed by one lad returning to the hotel dressed in full Virgin Atlantic hostess uniform and another being dropped off by Ava Divines camp PA. How the 5 of us made it back alive that night is beyond me. The next day I remember googling 'vini las vegas' and was amazed that then it returned the results we had spent the night in the company of a know crime boss of Las Vegas, but what a nights the hospitably was unbelievable, he showed us a wild side of Vegas and let us live to tell the tale. If I had the time to write the movie I would, but someone has already made 3 like it
I sh!t you not it was just like the Hangover film. Woke to an empty room, crashed out on the floor with just the hotel phone in the middle of the room. Turns out all the bedroom furniture had been moved into the bathroom, god knows how and why still to this day I don’t know how/why!!
The night was a endless blur and only recollected from photos on our phones the following day. To sum the night up it was a whirl wind of drinking, laughing, shots and arm wrestling/ head locking a “Vegas Associate", followed by one lad returning to the hotel dressed in full Virgin Atlantic hostess uniform and another being dropped off by Ava Divines camp PA. How the 5 of us made it back alive that night is beyond me. The next day I remember googling 'vini las vegas' and was amazed that then it returned the results we had spent the night in the company of a know crime boss of Las Vegas, but what a nights the hospitably was unbelievable, he showed us a wild side of Vegas and let us live to tell the tale. If I had the time to write the movie I would, but someone has already made 3 like it
Scousefella said:
1989 - I was a young squaddie based in Catterick. Myself and this young WRAC were often swapping innuendo laden comments and perverse suggestions, this went on for quite some time until eventually, after a few beers in the on camp NAAFI bar I asked her out for a proper date.
On a Saturday afternoon we went into Richmond and started drinking, pub to pub, met up with a few familiar faces, turned down the offer of a night on the lash in Darlington as we had "other plans".
So, pretty p*ssed up and gagging for some grub we had some form of chicken dinner and a few more drinks and then continued to complete our date - we had a room at The Scotch Corner Hotel. The pair of us were as randy as hell, just gagging to get into the room and get down and dirty after all of the build up and lustful intentions.
Once in the room things were just about to get interesting when suddenly she needed an emergency visit to the en suite - damn, so did I. FFS it must have been the chicken we both had eaten but OH MY WORD what a nightmare!!!
We were both sh*tfaced, naked and she was on the bog doing what was unavoidable, I was in need of the same thing and there was no way I had time to get to another loo in the Hotel. I did the only thing possible rather than drop a portion on the floor.
I hung my backdoor over the wash basin and found some relief.
We were both blasting out the nasty and p*ssing ourselves laughing at the same time - crazy days.
We jumped into the shower together and took care of the hygiene requirements before getting ourselves back into the swing of things - great sex if I am honest, just a shame about the build up.
Such a great story!On a Saturday afternoon we went into Richmond and started drinking, pub to pub, met up with a few familiar faces, turned down the offer of a night on the lash in Darlington as we had "other plans".
So, pretty p*ssed up and gagging for some grub we had some form of chicken dinner and a few more drinks and then continued to complete our date - we had a room at The Scotch Corner Hotel. The pair of us were as randy as hell, just gagging to get into the room and get down and dirty after all of the build up and lustful intentions.
Once in the room things were just about to get interesting when suddenly she needed an emergency visit to the en suite - damn, so did I. FFS it must have been the chicken we both had eaten but OH MY WORD what a nightmare!!!
We were both sh*tfaced, naked and she was on the bog doing what was unavoidable, I was in need of the same thing and there was no way I had time to get to another loo in the Hotel. I did the only thing possible rather than drop a portion on the floor.
I hung my backdoor over the wash basin and found some relief.
We were both blasting out the nasty and p*ssing ourselves laughing at the same time - crazy days.
We jumped into the shower together and took care of the hygiene requirements before getting ourselves back into the swing of things - great sex if I am honest, just a shame about the build up.
Scousefella said:
1989 - I was a young squaddie based in Catterick. Myself and this young WRAC were often swapping innuendo laden comments and perverse suggestions, this went on for quite some time until eventually, after a few beers in the on camp NAAFI bar I asked her out for a proper date.
On a Saturday afternoon we went into Richmond and started drinking, pub to pub, met up with a few familiar faces, turned down the offer of a night on the lash in Darlington as we had "other plans".
So, pretty p*ssed up and gagging for some grub we had some form of chicken dinner and a few more drinks and then continued to complete our date - we had a room at The Scotch Corner Hotel. The pair of us were as randy as hell, just gagging to get into the room and get down and dirty after all of the build up and lustful intentions.
Once in the room things were just about to get interesting when suddenly she needed an emergency visit to the en suite - damn, so did I. FFS it must have been the chicken we both had eaten but OH MY WORD what a nightmare!!!
We were both sh*tfaced, naked and she was on the bog doing what was unavoidable, I was in need of the same thing and there was no way I had time to get to another loo in the Hotel. I did the only thing possible rather than drop a portion on the floor.
I hung my backdoor over the wash basin and found some relief.
We were both blasting out the nasty and p*ssing ourselves laughing at the same time - crazy days.
We jumped into the shower together and took care of the hygiene requirements before getting ourselves back into the swing of things - great sex if I am honest, just a shame about the build up.
I'm guessing the purple dress washed out well scouseOn a Saturday afternoon we went into Richmond and started drinking, pub to pub, met up with a few familiar faces, turned down the offer of a night on the lash in Darlington as we had "other plans".
So, pretty p*ssed up and gagging for some grub we had some form of chicken dinner and a few more drinks and then continued to complete our date - we had a room at The Scotch Corner Hotel. The pair of us were as randy as hell, just gagging to get into the room and get down and dirty after all of the build up and lustful intentions.
Once in the room things were just about to get interesting when suddenly she needed an emergency visit to the en suite - damn, so did I. FFS it must have been the chicken we both had eaten but OH MY WORD what a nightmare!!!
We were both sh*tfaced, naked and she was on the bog doing what was unavoidable, I was in need of the same thing and there was no way I had time to get to another loo in the Hotel. I did the only thing possible rather than drop a portion on the floor.
I hung my backdoor over the wash basin and found some relief.
We were both blasting out the nasty and p*ssing ourselves laughing at the same time - crazy days.
We jumped into the shower together and took care of the hygiene requirements before getting ourselves back into the swing of things - great sex if I am honest, just a shame about the build up.
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