How drunk was I last night.
Discussion
Went to a house party in Blackburn, vaguely remember bobbing for fish in the neighbours' pond, collapsing onto a bed around 2am, then waking up in a student house in North Wales around noon the next day.
At some point I had got up, had a hurl in the bushes and got talking to a few guys from said house in North Wales, and decided to go home with them in their camper van. I still don't remember any of that bit.
This is one reason why I no longer drink.
At some point I had got up, had a hurl in the bushes and got talking to a few guys from said house in North Wales, and decided to go home with them in their camper van. I still don't remember any of that bit.
This is one reason why I no longer drink.
I pissed in the oven the other month.
I have no idea to this day how or why I did that and still can't remember doing it. My wife went mental and I spent my morning hungover as hell cleaning the oven.
Also, when I used to live at home, I got into the wardrobe in my parents bedroom one night and kipped in there. I scared the s
t out of them when I woke up in the dead of night and started banging about trying to find my way out.
I have no idea to this day how or why I did that and still can't remember doing it. My wife went mental and I spent my morning hungover as hell cleaning the oven.
Also, when I used to live at home, I got into the wardrobe in my parents bedroom one night and kipped in there. I scared the s
t out of them when I woke up in the dead of night and started banging about trying to find my way out.When I was younger, quite a few years ago, one of the older lads from the office and I decided to head to the German Market which happened to be in town due to it being the season to be jolly and all that jazz.
First stall we start drinking at we meet this German bird who is in town all by herself so of course we show her some English hospitality by way of drink and cringey conversation.
We all get on like a house on fire and through the course of the evening, we move on to various places around the city continuing to get wasted. At this point the units are beginning to rack up so I can only recount the night how I remember it from flashbacks. The flashbacks took me about 2 weeks to piece together and I've never remememberd anything else since;
- Selfridges. Her trying on clothes, me in the changing room with her. On my knees, tongue buried into her snatch. Changing room door didn't meet the floor - about a foot gap. st load of people walking by outside and mate standing there waiting.
- Wandering into the tourist information office (fk knows why). Hands and mouth all over this bird. Distinctly remember a member of staff looking at my mate like what the fk is up with these two
- Ground floor of selfridges. Food court. Red wine and burgers plus other nibbles. By this point I think I had already had about 8 pints - mix of german beer and Guinness
Allegedly at this point I disappear with the girl. I've never been able to remember anything past this point except;
- Bank statement shows me withdrawing £20 from ATM. No idea what happened to the money. Hadn't bought anything
- Check the car the next day and there is stollen in it (fking hate the stuff)
- Lettuce on the passenger seat
- Car parked outside house perfectly. 5 inches of snow on the ground
- Mate had bought me a £40 bottle of Vodka and handed it to me when sober earlier in the day. No sign of it the following morning. Didn't drink it
- Vomit all over my shoes amidst the salt marks from the snow
At some point I exchanged numbers with girl. Try to call her the next day and for a week after. Nothing. Won't pick up.
God knows what I did to her but I dread to think.
First stall we start drinking at we meet this German bird who is in town all by herself so of course we show her some English hospitality by way of drink and cringey conversation.
We all get on like a house on fire and through the course of the evening, we move on to various places around the city continuing to get wasted. At this point the units are beginning to rack up so I can only recount the night how I remember it from flashbacks. The flashbacks took me about 2 weeks to piece together and I've never remememberd anything else since;
- Selfridges. Her trying on clothes, me in the changing room with her. On my knees, tongue buried into her snatch. Changing room door didn't meet the floor - about a foot gap. s
t load of people walking by outside and mate standing there waiting. - Wandering into the tourist information office (f
k knows why). Hands and mouth all over this bird. Distinctly remember a member of staff looking at my mate like what the fk is up with these two- Ground floor of selfridges. Food court. Red wine and burgers plus other nibbles. By this point I think I had already had about 8 pints - mix of german beer and Guinness
Allegedly at this point I disappear with the girl. I've never been able to remember anything past this point except;
- Bank statement shows me withdrawing £20 from ATM. No idea what happened to the money. Hadn't bought anything
- Check the car the next day and there is stollen in it (f
king hate the stuff)- Lettuce on the passenger seat
- Car parked outside house perfectly. 5 inches of snow on the ground
- Mate had bought me a £40 bottle of Vodka and handed it to me when sober earlier in the day. No sign of it the following morning. Didn't drink it
- Vomit all over my shoes amidst the salt marks from the snow
At some point I exchanged numbers with girl. Try to call her the next day and for a week after. Nothing. Won't pick up.
God knows what I did to her but I dread to think.
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