Relationship falling apart
Discussion
funkyrobot said:
mart 63 said:
Young people today!f
king man up!!!
Yes, young people. We've never experienced rationing or the lingering terror of a night-time bombing raid. We've never huddled down in a tin shack, hoping that the next whistle isn't the bomb with our name on it.king man up!!!We've never experienced the threat of a nuclear war. Never seen the adverts telling you to don a makeshift mask and hide under the table.
We've never experienced mass power cuts and think a five day working week is the norm.
We don't experience relationship issues because we all have sex before marriage and don't appreciate the taboo that is divorce.
We spend all day moaning about the battery life of our smartphones and face really trivial, first world problems.
We've never had it so f
king easy. Why should we complain?You hit the nail on the head there;)
Young people of today eh.
funkyrobot said:
I wanted to feed my little girl and give my fiancée a rest. What was wrong with that?
Nothing.You sound perfectly reasonable - just crack on and f
k it mate.The most important thing is that your feelings aren't hurt and that work isn't affected. Just keep focussed on that and everything will work out well.
mart 63 said:
funkyrobot said:
mart 63 said:
Young people today!fking man up!!!
Yes, young people. We've never experienced rationing or the lingering terror of a night-time bombing raid. We've never huddled down in a tin shack, hoping that the next whistle isn't the bomb with our name on it.king man up!!!We've never experienced the threat of a nuclear war. Never seen the adverts telling you to don a makeshift mask and hide under the table.
We've never experienced mass power cuts and think a five day working week is the norm.
We don't experience relationship issues because we all have sex before marriage and don't appreciate the taboo that is divorce.
We spend all day moaning about the battery life of our smartphones and face really trivial, first world problems.
We've never had it so f
king easy. Why should we complain?You hit the nail on the head there;)
Young people of today eh.
You'll have years of great times with the kid, but the first few months you'll feel like a spare wheel while the other half becomes all-consumed by the new arrival.
Mum won't let anything get in the way of her precious belonging, not even dad, give her space, you have plenty of involvement to come.
Mum won't let anything get in the way of her precious belonging, not even dad, give her space, you have plenty of involvement to come.
funkyrobot said:
I wanted to feed my little girl and give my fiancée a rest. What was wrong with that?
The fact your Mrs wanted to take over, that's what's wrong with that. Because what happened next is you had a row, and that, make no mistake, was your fault. Acquiesce. Make some tea. Support. End of. f
k me it's so easy, you really need telling? HQ2 said:
You'll have years of great times with the kid, but the first few months you'll feel like a spare wheel while the other half becomes all-consumed by the new arrival.
Mum won't let anything get in the way of her precious belonging, not even dad, give her space, you have plenty of involvement to come.
Very true. She is like a lioness with a cub.Mum won't let anything get in the way of her precious belonging, not even dad, give her space, you have plenty of involvement to come.
She isn't that furry though.
hornetrider said:
funkyrobot said:
I wanted to feed my little girl and give my fiancée a rest. What was wrong with that?
The fact your Mrs wanted to take over, that's what's wrong with that. Because what happened next is you had a row, and that, make no mistake, was your fault. Acquiesce. Make some tea. Support. End of. f
k me it's so easy, you really need telling? I guess I try too hard to help.
aw51 121565 said:
Post Natal Depression, anyone mentioned it yet? 
This nettle needs to be grasped, it is not uncommon and isn't fun for anyone concerned...
The best of wishes to the OP and their partner (and new kid)
.
Thanks. I don't think it's PND. I just think it's an idiotic father. This nettle needs to be grasped, it is not uncommon and isn't fun for anyone concerned...
The best of wishes to the OP and their partner (and new kid)
.funkyrobot said:
They won't. But we shouldn't be this unhappy, should we.
Its a massive change to you both! your job is to look after mum so she can look after baby. They both need to bond, it sounds harsh but the baby just doesn't need you yet. Give it a few weeks and things will start to settle ad you will find your place. However it will never be the same as beforefunkyrobot said:
I wanted to feed my little girl and give my fiancée a rest. What was wrong with that?
The fact that she wasn't getting a rest but was fretting about you not 'doing it right'You were probably doing absolutely nothing wrong with the feeding, however is it such a big deal to let your fiancee take over? She was on edge and the quickest way to calm her nerves would have been to say 'yes dear' and move on to something else.
She may also resent you working so hard (pretty stupid when you probably need every penny you can get!) then fighting for your daughter's attention when you're home. Do you give your fiancee attention, or does your daughter win over every time?
oldcynic said:
The fact that she wasn't getting a rest but was fretting about you not 'doing it right'
You were probably doing absolutely nothing wrong with the feeding, however is it such a big deal to let your fiancee take over? She was on edge and the quickest way to calm her nerves would have been to say 'yes dear' and move on to something else.
She may also resent you working so hard (pretty stupid when you probably need every penny you can get!) then fighting for your daughter's attention when you're home. Do you give your fiancee attention, or does your daughter win over every time?
All good points. Thanks.You were probably doing absolutely nothing wrong with the feeding, however is it such a big deal to let your fiancee take over? She was on edge and the quickest way to calm her nerves would have been to say 'yes dear' and move on to something else.
She may also resent you working so hard (pretty stupid when you probably need every penny you can get!) then fighting for your daughter's attention when you're home. Do you give your fiancee attention, or does your daughter win over every time?
They both get attention as we all spend time together.
I have only been in the job three months so I'm trying to show some willing there. I guess it all adds up though.
funkyrobot said:
No. I see what you are saying.
I guess I try too hard to help.
The way you help is by not arguing with her and being a douche. Change your way of doing things. Be cool. Let her take the lead if she wants. She'll have spent the last nine months getting mumsnetted up on how to do all the things which need doing, so she has a fair idea of how she wants things to go. Help her along the way, don't argue the toss.I guess I try too hard to help.
MonkeyMatt said:
ts a massive change to you both! your job is to look after mum so she can look after baby. They both need to bond, it sounds harsh but the baby just doesn't need you yet. Give it a few weeks and things will start to settle ad you will find your place. However it will never be the same as before
Hard isn't it when the little tyke is so adorable and you want to do everything for her and you want to help mum. However, you get in the way. hornetrider said:
The way you help is by not arguing with her and being a douche. Change your way of doing things. Be cool. Let her take the lead if she wants. She'll have spent the last nine months getting mumsnetted up on how to do all the things which need doing, so she has a fair idea of how she wants things to go. Help her along the way, don't argue the toss.
Yes.f
king mumsnet. funkyrobot said:
mart 63 said:
funkyrobot said:
mart 63 said:
Young people today!fking man up!!!
Yes, young people. We've never experienced rationing or the lingering terror of a night-time bombing raid. We've never huddled down in a tin shack, hoping that the next whistle isn't the bomb with our name on it.king man up!!!We've never experienced the threat of a nuclear war. Never seen the adverts telling you to don a makeshift mask and hide under the table.
We've never experienced mass power cuts and think a five day working week is the norm.
We don't experience relationship issues because we all have sex before marriage and don't appreciate the taboo that is divorce.
We spend all day moaning about the battery life of our smartphones and face really trivial, first world problems.
We've never had it so f
king easy. Why should we complain?You hit the nail on the head there;)
Young people of today eh.
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