Relationship falling apart

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Matt UK said:

Brilliant advice.

Thanks.

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Wacky Racer said:

I have three grown up lads over 25, so have been through this years ago, trust me things will get better, regarding the "milk" episode you should have just handed little 'un over and said "Fine, you try", and I don't mean in a stroppy voice.

Relationships/Marriage are not easy. (except for the lucky few), sometimes you have to bite your lip and let things blow over.

• Off topic*

One piece of advice I would give to any new parents is take loads and loads of photographs of your children growing up, (and I mean hundreds)...they are really nice to look back on when they are grown up, which happens sooner than you think.

Also keep a box to save things like school reports etc, I still have mine from 1957.....

I have loads and loads of pictures.

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schmalex said:

This. Post Natal Depression can affect both men and women. Recognise it and see someone who can help.

I remember when we had our lad, the first 6 months were very difficult indeed, as my wife, quite rightly, put 100% of her efforts into focussing on him. It took a fair while to establish a rhythm that worked for all of us. We went through some tough times, but have been rewarded by now having a truly delightful 11yr old who is polite, articulate, kind, generous, fun and simply brilliant to be around.

Having a child changes everything and you have to work at re-establishing an equilibrium. Don't give up after 7 weeks. Support your wife. Realise that, for the time being, you are rated somewhere below the goldfish in order of importance, but understand why and do everything you can to help her with the new person that she is 100% responsible for.

Indeed. Since the outburst at the weekend I've taken in a lot of the advice given on here.

My fiancée is fine. I've been the problem.

It's hard to explain, but my issue has been nothing to do with ego or status in the family. I'm quite happy to be the dad there to offer support when needed. I don't want to be the centre of attention or be treated as the most important person in the house. I guess I got scared and snapped. Fear can do all sorts of things to you. I've been scared about doing something wrong or just scared of our little baby in general.

This thread has been very helpful so thankyou all.

To those who have simply said 'man the fk up', what do you think this thread has been about. I've admitted I've had problems and have asked for help in order to sort these out.

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jke11y said:

I just typed a reply and it vanished when I went to post it. Sigh.

I am glad you have been able to take on board the advice in this thread. For some perspective, my baby son Rafferty was born 13 weeks ago yesterday, and passed away aged 9 weeks.

It has been the best and worst 13 weeks of my life. My wife and I have not had a split second of arguing or fighting in the 4 weeks that he was perfectly healthy or since.

I guess what I am getting at is that sometimes the little things get in the way of the big things. You genuinely don't know how lucky you are.

Wow. Really sorry to hear that.

Sort of puts my worries into perspective.

Hope you are both doing ok.