Flatmates Stories

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Discussion

cookmysock

Original Poster:

843 posts

200 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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Probably been done before, but I thought I would put it out there to see what issues / problems / stories, etc people have had with their flatmates.

I have not shared (thankfully) for 20 years, but when I did had a couple of doozies. One girl who decided that the only way to conduct her life was on full mental. eg - she would go in the toilet after i did and check if it was clean to her standards... I kicked her out, took in a new bloke who was generally ok, until I came home from work and there was a syringe and an empty methodone bottle on the kitchen sink. He was gone within a week.

I vaguely recall a Sydney radio station doing the flatmate horror thing many years ago. The guy who won found his flatmate dead after being away on holiday for 2 weeks yikes

AW111

9,455 posts

132 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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It has been decades since I was house sharing, but a few co-tenants were. ....interesting.

Alcoholic ex-biker : lovely bloke, but we did end up smoking waay too much weed.

Bisexual depressive muso : interesting times, and I met a lot of fun people through knowing him. It was hard being the only 9-5 worker in a house that woke up and started partying when the muso's got home after a gig.

High school friend (engineer) : not a party type, but got me started in rallying.

Radical feminist going through a lesbian phase : we spent many late nights arguing, but without malice.

Several other hippies, musos and students : we had some interesting times, heard / played some great music, and probably destroyed far too many brain cells.






We had a get-together weekend at Easter for some of the crowd, most of whom hadn't seen each other for over twenty years - that was a blast!

Mark A B

166 posts

148 months

Sunday 19th October 2014
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Will add other tales later but a flat mate of mine about 5 years ago used to express himself down the side of his bed and wall. Never found out why but when his day came to move on I was helping him move his bed and discovered it. I made sure he cleaned and had it painted over. Filthy lad!

AW111

9,455 posts

132 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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tumbleweed

STW2010

5,714 posts

161 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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When living in a student house a few of my housemates entered into full on posh wk war. This meant that they would blow their load into a condom (whilst in the privacy of their own room) and then throw it into another housemates room.

It was fking disgusting and wasn't something I (and 2 other housemates) wanted to be involved with. So our rooms were always locked, even just to nip to the toilet or to get something from the kitchen.

Lasted about 2 weeks too, until the supplies of free rubbers from campus were depleted. fking animals.

RobinBanks

17,540 posts

178 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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At uni one housemate was trying to avoid another and decided not to use the toilet (beside the other housemate's bedroom).
So he climbed out of the window and curled one out in the garden. I saw him and made him deal with it.

We were mostly quite boring though.

Apart from the girl who climbed into my bed for comfort at 6am on a bad LSD trip. Sadly it went no further than that frown

aclivity

4,072 posts

187 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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My flatmate was epileptic. I knew this, he was a friend and I knew how to cope with his seizures.

Day 1 in the flat ... he has a seizure. I did all the right things, put him on his side, that sort of thing. Since he was very young his lower teeth had been on a frame, denture sort of thing. I had already taken his teeth out when he started his seizure ... but not far enough.

With his head banging, suddenly the carpet was covered in blood. He's only gone and butted his teeth! Perfect "half moon" on his left temple.

Kiltie

7,504 posts

245 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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James.

222 Sellincourt Road, Tooting, SW17.

Poor James.

Unemployed hairdresser.

A bit androgynous and of indeterminate sexuality.

Wore high heels and reeked of patchouli oil.

Drank in a suspect boozer in Maida Vale.

Completely oblivious to the world around.

His parents came round one Sunday. I gave them cake and cringed at the way dad looked at son.

I often wonder what became of James.

Whatever it is, I hope he's happy.

anonymous-user

53 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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When I was in my third year of Uni there were 4 of us living in a house.

One of the guys I only saw 3 times in the 8 months we were living together, he never ventured out of his room. No idea how he ate, used the bathroom etc etc. He was always in too (you could hear his TV, or him playing guitar etc) so not as if he was rarely in the house. If you knocked on his door he just ignored it.

When he moved out he left a load of stuff (brillo pads, bleach, cutlery, plates etc) on the kitchen table with a note "You can have this if you want it - Ed".

P-Jay

10,551 posts

190 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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We had a Psychotic drug dealer who was really our Landlord in a House Share until one day he declared he was moving in, and "oh by the way, you need to switch bedrooms" he was a jack of all trade sort of a builder, or 'project manager' as he liked to be called - I believe he was a plaster once upon a time, but he managed to find work building extensions and such - he got around the tricky business of labour costs by literally employing drug addicts, he said he was also an account and 'proved it' by showing us a laptop - it was as thick as a yellow pages and had a 10" black and white screen, even by the standards of 2000 is was a relic and sold cars or had cars stolen and ringed them, or rung them - whatever the correct term is.

But mostly he just sold bags and bags of ecstasy and beat people up, I was so poor at the time I couldn't move out straight away, I stuck it for 2 months trying to get a deposit together, in the end he got arrested and held on remand, within hours a mate of his turned up telling us we'd be paying him the rent instead - the Police questioned the rest of us and, frankly treated us like criminals for a couple of weeks- which was hard to take because we were all (slight recreational drug use aside) law abiding PAYE everyday 18-19 year old kids, but when they ask you "so, you live with this guy, but you don't know ANYTHING about him?" and all you can see is "yes, that's right", once they said they were no longer interested in us I took my stuff and left in the middle of the night - I was in Sydney 2 weeks later.

Allaloneatron

3,123 posts

239 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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We had a house mate a uni who said he was too good to wk with his hands so used to do the mattress. Apparently he was also too good to clean up, so would wait for it to dry and scrape it off in the morning. We used to delight in telling this to all the girls he was trying to chat up.

HaroldBishop

652 posts

176 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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There was a lad in our flat at uni, let's call him Tom, who had clearly been mothered to a ridiculous extent and hadn't the first clue of how to look after himself. In our flat there were 7 private rooms and a communal kitchen. Tom's highlights included:

- The kitchen had two fridges in it and quite by accident we ended up with a girls' fridge and a lads' fridge (there being 4 girls and 3 lads). One afternoon my friend knocked on my door and asked me to come and examine the lads' fridge as he couldn't understand why we had so much milk. Having taken each of our cartons out there were about 6 cartons left in the door, all of which belonged to Tom. It transpired that when his milk went off he bought a new carton but quite inexplicably didn't throw the remnants of the old one out; the result of this was that our fridge door looked like a step by step guide to making cheese.

- On being confronted about the milk situation by our resident clean freak, lets call her Laura, he took out the remaining milk/curds/cheese, poured it into the sink without rinsing it and threw the cartons into the recycling box without washing them out. Laura snapped at this and frogmarched him to the bin store.

- One night whilst we were all in the kitchen he came in and, much to our astonishment, began making macaroni cheese. This was a revelation as prior to this he had only managed Pot Noodles and takeaways. All was going well, the pasta was cooked and the cheese sauce (from a jar, of course) was simmering correctly. He took his pasta off the heat, drained it through a colander and put it into the pan with the cheese sauce. However, before we could stop him, he then picked up that pan and poured it through the colander sending all of his cheese sauce down the drain.

I often wonder what became of him...

soad

32,829 posts

175 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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The worst I ever had, was two flatmates who were complete assholes and slobs. All kinds of unspeakable mess left in the kitchen. shoot
One had a girlfriend who squealed like some sort of injured baby animal while they were having sex. eek


sidekickdmr

5,065 posts

205 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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Not that bad and nothing much compared to some here but an old mate of mine and me lived together in Milton Keynes for work (early 20's).

He was the kind of person that would order a donner kebab pizza every night, eat 1/2 of it and then place it on top of the last nights box next to the sofa, for about a week before all 7 boxes got cleaned by the cleaner.

I finished the job earlier than him and left him in the flat on his own, said he could continue to use all of the pots/pans/cutlery/glasses/mugs etc until i needed them back for the next place.

Que about 3 months later popping back for a night out with him, him looking sheepish and giving me about £200 cash.

Within the first week of me leaving he had used every single plate, bowl, fork and glass in the house until they were all dirty and none left to use, then couldn’t face the mammoth task of washing it all up so binned the lot and spend the next 2 months and 3 weeks using disposable plates plastic cups and knives and forks.


Edit to add, we had a dishwasher!


Edited by sidekickdmr on Monday 20th October 16:15

DoubleSix

11,691 posts

175 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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soad said:
The worst I ever had, was two flatmates who were complete assholes and slobs. All kinds of unspeakable mess left in the kitchen. shoot
One had a girlfriend who squealed like some sort of injured baby animal while they were having sex. eek
Japanese?

soad

32,829 posts

175 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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DoubleSix said:
Japanese?
Chinese, close enough.

southendpier

5,254 posts

228 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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P-Jay said:
I believe he was a plaster
bet he didn't stick at that job for too long.

wibble cb

3,586 posts

206 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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Came home to a flat share in London to find someone asleep in my bed, the landlord ( who lived in house) assumed I was out for the night so let a friend into my locked room, this was an early warning sign of future issues though, a while later he kicked in the self same locked door to accuse my of clogging up the shower with hair, I wouldn't have minded had it been me, but I was actually asleep in bed when he broke in. The upshot was I told him that things weren't working out and perhaps it was best to go our separate ways, at which point he told me 'I decide when you move out....' I was gone that night...!

Edited by wibble cb on Monday 20th October 17:40

Biggriff

2,312 posts

283 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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Two flat mates were Irish. One who had a dad in the RUC and the other pro IRA. Carnage would be a polite term.

Other flat mate was called Dave and completely boring as were his parents. The pro IRA flat mate fed Daves parents hash cookies. Carnage again.

When we left Landlord kept our deposits as Dave had marked the walls with blutac. The pro IRA flat mate was the last to leave so simply put the plug in the bath and turned the tap on very slowly and sodded off to Eire. Flooded our flat and the four below. Carnage again.

All bloody physchos. Best bit was shagging one of their girlfriends when they went home to visit their parents. Hey ho.... Youth eh!

Farmerpalmer

273 posts

163 months

Monday 20th October 2014
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Many years ago, as a singleton, i rented a room in a shared house. one resident, who i shall call wayne, was a morbidly obese slob of a man. i dreaded warm weather, as he would stink and sweat +++.
Anyway, he rarely came out of his room, but the smell from his room was dreadful, but we never ventured in, as he was rarely out. (he was a student, but the rest of us worked).
Anyway, he went away for a week, so we dared to venture in.
He had 6 foot piles of rubbish in his room, old takeaways etc, floor to ceiling. bloody awful sticking mess. room was a tip , literally. i think the only reason he did not have rats was because the stench was too bad for them.
how anyone could live like that is a mystery.

i did not stay too much longer after this.