The Origins of Shagging

The Origins of Shagging

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Corpulent Tosser

Original Poster:

5,459 posts

244 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
It started in Scotland, something else the world has to thank Scotland for biggrin

BIRDS do it, bees do it... and so did an early ancestor of humans that lived in Scotland 385 million years ago

Scientists have traced the history of vertebrate sexual intercourse to an ancient armoured fish named Microbrachius dicki.

Microbrachius means "little arms" and refers to the genital limbs that locked male and female fish together when mating. And dicki, well...

The three inch long placoderm - a primitive armoured fish - frolicked in Scottish lakes millions of years before fins evolved into legs.
http://www.express.co.uk/news/nature/524728/Extinc...

slopes

38,748 posts

186 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
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And dicki, well...he started a time wasting thread on pistonheads hehe

Kiltie

7,504 posts

245 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
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I thought it was a dance.


Corpulent Tosser

Original Poster:

5,459 posts

244 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
That explains why you've no kids wink

bigandclever

13,750 posts

237 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
Corpulent Tosser said:
It started in Scotland, something else the world has to thank Scotland for biggrin
Don't want to wee on your haggis but, thanks to tectonic shift, Scotland 385 million years ago wasn't anywhere near Scotland smile

Corpulent Tosser

Original Poster:

5,459 posts

244 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
bigandclever said:
Corpulent Tosser said:
It started in Scotland, something else the world has to thank Scotland for biggrin
Don't want to wee on your haggis but, thanks to tectonic shift, Scotland 385 million years ago wasn't anywhere near Scotland smile
You mean it wasn't where it is now, I am not where I was four weeks ago but I am still me.

TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
I didn't think fish had intercourse, even today. Don't they go in for external fertilisation. Female lays eggs and male swims over them and releases sperm.

Impasse

15,099 posts

240 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
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They have always been funny fkers up there.

glazbagun

14,259 posts

196 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
TwigtheWonderkid said:
I didn't think fish had intercourse, even today. Don't they go in for external fertilisation. Female lays eggs and male swims over them and releases sperm.
If it's the article I read a while ago they reckon it didn't work very well and died out as external fertilisation just worked better.

Corpulent Tosser

Original Poster:

5,459 posts

244 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
glazbagun said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
I didn't think fish had intercourse, even today. Don't they go in for external fertilisation. Female lays eggs and male swims over them and releases sperm.
If it's the article I read a while ago they reckon it didn't work very well and died out as external fertilisation just worked better.
Sharks use internal fertilisation, they have lasted a while.


Kiltie

7,504 posts

245 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
Corpulent Tosser said:
Kiltie said:
I thought it was a dance.
That explains why you've no kids wink
Indeed. Two left feet.

ATG

20,485 posts

271 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
Corpulent Tosser said:
Sharks use internal fertilisation, they have lasted a while.
They evolved it independently of the Scottish fish. The Scottish shagging technique died out. It was an evolutionary dead end. I have no intention of making any cheap jokes at the expense of the good folk of Scotland.

Tunku

7,703 posts

227 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
ATG said:
They evolved it independently of the Scottish fish. The Scottish shagging technique died out. It was an evolutionary dead end. I have no intention of making any cheap jokes at the expense of the good folk of Scotland.
Must be a Scottish thing, most of my attempts end in failure these days too hehe

TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
Corpulent Tosser said:
Sharks use internal fertilisation, they have lasted a while.
Yes, but sharks are odd. Some give birth to live young, others lay weird shaped eggs, and in one breed the biggest baby shark eats the smaller ones inside the mother prior to birth!!!!

TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Saturday 25th October 2014
quotequote all
glazbagun said:
TwigtheWonderkid said:
I didn't think fish had intercourse, even today. Don't they go in for external fertilisation. Female lays eggs and male swims over them and releases sperm.
If it's the article I read a while ago they reckon it didn't work very well and died out as external fertilisation just worked better.
Every day's a school day.

Corpulent Tosser

Original Poster:

5,459 posts

244 months

Sunday 26th October 2014
quotequote all
ATG said:
The Scottish shagging technique died out.
Bloody foreigners coming here introducing their new fangled shagging techniques mad

Dunc B

196 posts

272 months

Sunday 26th October 2014
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And here's me thinking "shagging" was just a term for having sex on a shag pile carpet, complete with carpet burns and all! paperbag
Life's an education...

Alex Langheck

835 posts

128 months

Sunday 26th October 2014
quotequote all
I thought it was a baseball term.....catching/ fielding practice in the outfield......