Friends with people who are bad when drunk

Friends with people who are bad when drunk

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897sma

3,347 posts

143 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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Yes, but when I leave to go home there's no escape because my mrs comes too smile

For me it's finding that sweet spot where she's drunk enough to let me but not too drunk to go through with it

Edited by 897sma on Tuesday 28th October 09:49

AA999

5,180 posts

216 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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There was a study a while ago that showed westerners acting stupid after a few drinks because that is what they thought they should act like in the surroundings of their peers....sounds pathetic really but the study results were conclusive.
They even gave placebo drinks to a number who started to act stupid under the impression they were getting drunk.

Similarly they gave alcoholic drinks to some closed cultures that were removed from mainstream fashions and influences, such as some arctic Inuits, the study found that these people continued as per normal with the only effects being that after becoming 'drunk' their reaction times slowed down a degree.

(I'd link the study if I could find it on the web - but I remember watching it on a TV program a few years ago).



Tyre Tread

10,525 posts

215 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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That program rings a bell and I'd like to get hold of a copy of it.

ETA: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/2634499.stm

grumbledoak

31,499 posts

232 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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hora said:
Theres acting stupid and drunk and theres aggressive, abusive etc etc which is another level. I really do think its a personality-magnifier in some..
Kind of. Alcohol inhibits the frontal cortex first, then the mammalian brain, then finally the autonomous. The effects are, in turn, to remove judgement and moderation, then physical control, and finally to stop heart beat and breathing. It is the first stage that unleashes your inner ahole, if you are one. The final stage is the same as 'putting you down'.

Landlord

12,689 posts

256 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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hora said:
... Otherwise its breaking up a fight...
Stop doing this bit. Leave him to have a few hidings and eventually he'll learn that you're not his keeper.

StuntmanMike

11,671 posts

150 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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Landlord said:
hora said:
... Otherwise its breaking up a fight...
Stop doing this bit. Leave him to have a few hidings and eventually he'll learn that you're not his keeper.
I have a good friend like this, I leave him to it, trouble is he always wins, I then end up intervening to save the other party.
I just won't go out with him now, I'd lend him my last tenner and I realise he doesn't come across well in this post, in every other respect he's brilliant, but the fact is I'm 43 now and entirely too old to be babysitting/breaking up fights.

FurtiveFreddy

8,577 posts

236 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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I was discussing this with a friend just the other night over a few beers. Just before he got up and smacked me in the face. No, not really.;)

However, I do think alcohol has a particularly polarizing effect on people. More so than other recreational drugs I can think of.

One of my very long standing ex-school friends was the perfect example of someone who changes for the worse after a pint or 12. I lost contact with him after he suddenly attacked and punched a work colleague of mine he'd never met before and who he claimed (in his drunken stupor) was 'winding him up'. That was the last straw for me. Haven't spoken to him for 15 years since that night.

I'm not convinced alcohol brings out the 'real' or 'hidden' side of people. I think it can temporarily alter some people's perception and understanding of what's going on around them to the point where they don't know what they're doing and start acting in a completely irrational way. I'm not sure that's how they would ever act normally. Other recreational drugs can do this too but often they suppress violence and aggression, so you get an altered state but without the fighting.

I also think long term substance abuse may lead to someone becoming more aggressive because of tolerance and withdrawal effects.

Not sure what the answer is if you find yourself in a situation like the OP describes other than to talk it through with everyone concerned and try and get whoever is being a nuisance to admit to themselves they have a problem. That's the first stage to getting it resolved.

TwigtheWonderkid

43,248 posts

149 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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hora said:
Anyone else have a friend like this?
No, none of my friends are tts.

soad

32,829 posts

175 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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Jim Lahey drunk scenes (Trailer Park Boys)
The best of Mr. Lahey followed by one of Ricky's brilliant "speeches". laugh


HarryFlatters

4,203 posts

211 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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grumbledoak said:
It is the first stage that unleashes your inner ahole, if you are one.
In vino veritas.

Faust66

2,028 posts

164 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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Totally agree with the comments about alcohol unleashing the inner personality.

I have known a few too many people like this in the past… nice enough when sober, but get a few pints down them and chaos swiftly ensues. I've always tried to make it clear that if a friend is being hassled by a person/group then I'll back them up. If, however, my drinking companion is the one acting like a belligerent drunken buffoon, then they are on their own.

This is all mostly in the past though. I really can't be bothered with drunken shenanigans anymore. If people can't handle their drink then they can go to the pub with someone else…

Saying that, I've got a workmate who is 46. He still goes into town every Friday & Saturday and, after spending a fortune on beer, always seems to be involved in drunken arguments, trying to pull the 'wrong' woman, domestics or worse… none of these are his fault though as they just seem to happen (according to him scratchchin ).

He can't seem to understand why I don't really want to go out on the piss with him. Apparently I'm "old and boring". Perhaps I am (40 next year). But then again I'm not the one who is skint at the end of every month with nothing to show for it apart from the odd bruise, an inflated liver and on the scrounge for a 20 quid loan (the bloke earns about 10 grand a year more than me!)

I'd rather just have a few quiet pints, a bit of a chat/setting the world to right session and maybe hit the stronger stuff when I get home.

Jasandjules

69,825 posts

228 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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As others have said, I feel that a person's personality is shown once they are drunk. Basically, your mate is an as***le.

Vocal Minority

8,582 posts

151 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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Sounds like your mate needs to grow the fk up faust!

Its fine when you are a student, but cadging £20 off your mates at the end of each month when you are 46 - blydi embarrassing.

BrabusMog

20,083 posts

185 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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Vocal Minority said:
Sounds like your mate needs to grow the fk up faust!

Its fine when you are a student, but cadging £20 off your mates at the end of each month when you are 46 - blydi embarrassing.
Once you've been working for more than 2 years you really should be able to stand on your own two feet.

Triumph Man

8,670 posts

167 months

Tuesday 28th October 2014
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I hate rowdy drunks and people who either insist on shouting around or hugging me all the time. I'm 23 but I hate "lad culture"

PurpleTurtle

6,940 posts

143 months

Wednesday 29th October 2014
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I've got a mate like this, sometimes a liability when drunk, but as nice as you like sober. He just hasn't grown up, whilst the rest of us have.

I think his main problem is he drinks with the express purpose of getting absolutely smashed, he can't just have a few beers and be done with it.

I saw him on Saturday night, intention was to have 3-4 pints watching the rugby and come home by 10pm as I had a long drive the next day.
Before I'd finished my first pint a large tray of Jagerbombs arrives on the table, c/o guess who!! 'Come on lads, we're Jagerbombing!'

He's 47 and a solicitor, on-call for the local plod as a duty brief! biglaugh

BrabusMog

20,083 posts

185 months

Wednesday 29th October 2014
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This thread makes me feel old! I'm not even 30 yet (only just) but me and my pals either go out after the football on a Saturday evening or have a daytime session on beers/ale if we can't get to the away match and then I'm usually tucked up in bed by midnight! Jagerbombs etc, not unless it's a very "big" night out!

Adam B

27,142 posts

253 months

Wednesday 29th October 2014
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Faust66 said:
He can't seem to understand why I don't really want to go out on the piss with him. Apparently I'm "old and boring".
I can't seem to understand why you haven't told him "because you are a borish ahole troublemaker when drinking"

ali_kat

31,988 posts

220 months

Wednesday 29th October 2014
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yes we have one - Love him to bits & he's not always like it when pissed, but when he is frown

Vocal Minority

8,582 posts

151 months

Wednesday 29th October 2014
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Adam B said:
Faust66 said:
He can't seem to understand why I don't really want to go out on the piss with him. Apparently I'm "old and boring".
I can't seem to understand why you haven't told him "because you are a borish ahole troublemaker when drinking"
Also sounds, now I think about it, that he may be struggling to come to terms with approaching 50