Stuff that's happened which changed your outlook on life.
Discussion
nekrum said:
How has it changed my outlook?.. I now appreciate the basics of life and how quickly things can change. Make the most of every moment and put your family and friends first.
I've been stressing this to anyone who'll listen recently! We lost our twins 5 weeks ago and my entire world is still upside down but family and friends are playing such an important part of working towards that new normal.JakeThePeg said:
What's the one thing that's happened to you that has changed your life?
Different things at different times. An example of something bad would be living in downtown Manhattan in 2001. An example of something good would be the birth of my first child. People change with time. 
My wife nearly dying last year was a BIG one.
Being diagnosed with depression as a result.
Nearly dying myself.
Tends to put a BIG change in perspective. Life IS too short, so you do your best to seize the day: albeit somewhat challenging when you can't face even opening your eyes (made easier by Wifey still being there, along with the kids).
Being diagnosed with depression as a result.
Nearly dying myself.
Tends to put a BIG change in perspective. Life IS too short, so you do your best to seize the day: albeit somewhat challenging when you can't face even opening your eyes (made easier by Wifey still being there, along with the kids).
doogle83 said:
nekrum said:
How has it changed my outlook?.. I now appreciate the basics of life and how quickly things can change. Make the most of every moment and put your family and friends first.
I've been stressing this to anyone who'll listen recently! We lost our twins 5 weeks ago and my entire world is still upside down but family and friends are playing such an important part of working towards that new normal.
k, look after yourself 
Same goes for everyone else who has been dealt a crappy hand.
Nothing like the above but getting into debt at 18 for 4 years whilst in uni. Letters, phone calls perminantly being chased living in fear of baliefs turning up. I eventually come clean to my mum (who told my old man)and borrowed 2k to pay one debt off worked like a dog to pay the rest off and pay my parents back. Parents said just pay half back when I gave them the cash but I insisted I wanted pay all debts off fully. Best feeling ever being debt free. Never again. Now a saver not a spender
I wasn't an alcoholic. The only time I drank was on social nights out and known to he a bit lairy.
Trashed myself one night in Tokyo and on the early morning tube train and puked a couple of times and kids and commuters looked on with horror and looking down on me and that kinda plagued on my mind during the hangover and decided to seriously limit my drinking.
A few months later when I came back to Blighty I learnt I had a cousin who died wrecking his liver from alcohol. My brother went teetotal after that and learnt he also used alcohol to press the self destruct button.
I suppose that drinking more than you should stirs the demons and causes self flagellation and then the fear of leading an unhealthy lifestyle for the soul and not just the body.
Trashed myself one night in Tokyo and on the early morning tube train and puked a couple of times and kids and commuters looked on with horror and looking down on me and that kinda plagued on my mind during the hangover and decided to seriously limit my drinking.
A few months later when I came back to Blighty I learnt I had a cousin who died wrecking his liver from alcohol. My brother went teetotal after that and learnt he also used alcohol to press the self destruct button.
I suppose that drinking more than you should stirs the demons and causes self flagellation and then the fear of leading an unhealthy lifestyle for the soul and not just the body.
nekrum said:
Becoming a father to twins, grieving for one who died, battling the NHS for the truth, realisation it happens more often than you think, trying to do something about it ( www.17dads.org).. finding a new normal..
Deep respect for you Sir........... We lost our first son 14 years ago and at the time there was little or no support for dads.bazza white said:
Nothing like the above but getting into debt at 18 for 4 years whilst in uni. Letters, phone calls perminantly being chased living in fear of baliefs turning up. I eventually come clean to my mum (who told my old man)and borrowed 2k to pay one debt off worked like a dog to pay the rest off and pay my parents back. Parents said just pay half back when I gave them the cash but I insisted I wanted pay all debts off fully. Best feeling ever being debt free. Never again. Now a saver not a spender
Its not that trivial. I did this and the stress of trying to pay off minimum balances and the worry every night was overwhelming. In my case it was totally self inflicted, no question, so no sympathy deserved whatsoever. Paid it all off. Like you, it left me with a abhorrence if debt, and I have had none since , and that is decades ago.Had a pulmonary embolism two years ago totally out of the blue. Despite being fit and athletic....was a totally random and horrific event which baffled the experts. Pure luck the clot ended up on my lung not brain. Scared me shiless. Stared the grim reaper right in the eye and this changed my outlook on life for the better. Can happen to anyone believe me so no longer take stuff for granted.....if you want that car material posession girl 
or whatever go get it now dont leave it till tomorrow....
less. Stared the grim reaper right in the eye and this changed my outlook on life for the better. Can happen to anyone believe me so no longer take stuff for granted.....if you want that car material posession girl or whatever go get it now dont leave it till tomorrow....It happened when I was too young to even remember, so rather than change it kind of set my whole perspective on life.
My grandparents were attending a family birthday party, in my grandad's reliant robin (only had a bike license).
It was winter and snowing. A drunk driver lost control and ploughed a cross the road and into the passenger side of the fibreglass car.
My grandad walked away unscathed. Cuts and bruises.
My grandma spent 3 years, 90% in hospital going through several operations to try and save her leg. I'm the end she forced them to amputate it as she had enough. She swore the day before her opp she would make it to her sisters 50th birthday in 6 weeks time.
6 weeks later she was at that party. It was in Australia.
When she returned, she got a job as a lollipop lady. Yes, a one legged one! She became quite famous locally as it was a big thing.
Ever since I can remember, I've had a perfect role model in both my grandparents. The events changed them both so much that they spent all their time with their grandkids and relished every moment with us. It gave me amazing family values and made me realise how much family means.
My grandmas determination have me the drive and ambition I have today which helped me make a success of myself in education and my chosen career. I believe mainly because I realise none of it really matters, so I am very relaxed in my approach, which just works.
I miss them both terribly, 15 and 9 years now.
My grandparents were attending a family birthday party, in my grandad's reliant robin (only had a bike license).
It was winter and snowing. A drunk driver lost control and ploughed a cross the road and into the passenger side of the fibreglass car.
My grandad walked away unscathed. Cuts and bruises.
My grandma spent 3 years, 90% in hospital going through several operations to try and save her leg. I'm the end she forced them to amputate it as she had enough. She swore the day before her opp she would make it to her sisters 50th birthday in 6 weeks time.
6 weeks later she was at that party. It was in Australia.
When she returned, she got a job as a lollipop lady. Yes, a one legged one! She became quite famous locally as it was a big thing.
Ever since I can remember, I've had a perfect role model in both my grandparents. The events changed them both so much that they spent all their time with their grandkids and relished every moment with us. It gave me amazing family values and made me realise how much family means.
My grandmas determination have me the drive and ambition I have today which helped me make a success of myself in education and my chosen career. I believe mainly because I realise none of it really matters, so I am very relaxed in my approach, which just works.
I miss them both terribly, 15 and 9 years now.
My mother died when I was young (7), as I get older, now nearly 27, it's a stern reminder that I should just enjoy my life and not waste it. I don't want to be left with regrets and 'I wish I did that now'. Yes it may be a great idea to save every penny, buy a house and settle down, I respect those who do it, but I would rather travel the world, have a stupid car and have great happy memories... Unfortunately I'm not rich enough to have both right now!
When I was 12, my youngest sister was in hospital for a time as she was born with a dislocated hip. Well not much of a hip at all really so there were operations and she was in traction most of the time. All good now though.
At the same time, a boy the same age as me was admitted to the ward. He had an inoperable tumor.
Being the same age, we used to chat about all the things that 12 year olds chat about and he lasted a month before he died.
He never got to try and pull a wheelie on a Fizzy.
Never had a girl.
Never had a drink.
Never traveled.
Etc.
He never complained either.
I'm not living his life for him but think of him from time to time even though that's 40 years ago.
Here's to you David, wherever you are
At the same time, a boy the same age as me was admitted to the ward. He had an inoperable tumor.
Being the same age, we used to chat about all the things that 12 year olds chat about and he lasted a month before he died.
He never got to try and pull a wheelie on a Fizzy.
Never had a girl.
Never had a drink.
Never traveled.
Etc.
He never complained either.
I'm not living his life for him but think of him from time to time even though that's 40 years ago.
Here's to you David, wherever you are
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