Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
Sheets Tabuer said:
visitinglondon said:
Usually means she's seeing someone else ...
This is my experience, happened to me once. I've also had a few mates that had the it's not you it's me or I don't love you spiel. Then the wife met a new bloke at work you've never heard of five minutes after the bloke moved out.Another thing, if a woman tells you she doesn't love you then I'm sorry to say she doesn't love you.
You still made an effort though right, still went to the gym, held of on the cakes etc?
Wolfer said:
Cheers guys,
night on the sofabed, just trying to be strong.
Think I'll have to accept it as over, suppose I'd better tell my family later, that will be nice!
Why are you on the sofa bed? She's the one who should be on it. night on the sofabed, just trying to be strong.
Think I'll have to accept it as over, suppose I'd better tell my family later, that will be nice!
Agree with he others if she's got to the stage where she can come out with it, it's over.
Move on.
OK, maybe I'm the old romantic, but I'd give Relate a try (even on your own). At least it will give you a structured way to come to terms with the rejection, at best you may uncover what's really going on. However, as others have said, she's the one "moving on" so why are YOU sleeping on the sofa? Why doesn't she want you to move out (is it just the money and free handyman, or something else)?
I suggest moving back into your bed, and if she doesn't like it, well tough. It will be very difficult for you, but by moving out of the bedroom you're admitting that it's somehow your fault and you're in the wrong. Then tell her you're arranging counselling and if she wants to stay in the house (not "if she doesn't want you to move out") then she's coming too.
I suggest moving back into your bed, and if she doesn't like it, well tough. It will be very difficult for you, but by moving out of the bedroom you're admitting that it's somehow your fault and you're in the wrong. Then tell her you're arranging counselling and if she wants to stay in the house (not "if she doesn't want you to move out") then she's coming too.
Pommygranite said:
Just accept it - by the time that comes out she's already planning her exit strategy.
Be civil, no lawyers, be amicable and without anger.
Just as you can't help chemistry with someone sometimes you can't stop it from fading. Brave and decent move by your (soon to be) ex by being honest with you without finding someone else first.
^^^ Best advice you'll get.Be civil, no lawyers, be amicable and without anger.
Just as you can't help chemistry with someone sometimes you can't stop it from fading. Brave and decent move by your (soon to be) ex by being honest with you without finding someone else first.
Don't waste time trying to make sense of it, trying to convince yourself it was the depression etc when in reality she's moved on emotionally.
You'll feel like st for a while but it gets a whole heap better trust me..... One more thing to add. I won't comment on whether I think anyone else is involved as I don't know but for gods sake don't go looking for proof.... It'll drive you nuts and maybe more damaging if you do uncover any indiscretions.... She doesn't love you anymore for whatever reason, accept it and just move on.
Oh and the best of luck..!!
Wolfer said:
Cheers guys,
night on the sofabed, just trying to be strong.
Think I'll have to accept it as over, suppose I'd better tell my family later, that will be nice!
Why are YOU on the sofabed? night on the sofabed, just trying to be strong.
Think I'll have to accept it as over, suppose I'd better tell my family later, that will be nice!
At least, if binning someone and then ripping their heart out, I would at least fk off out of the house for a few days. Her out, not you.
Wolfer said:
Cheers guys,
night on the sofabed, just trying to be strong.
Think I'll have to accept it as over, suppose I'd better tell my family later, that will be nice!
Why are YOU on the sofabed? night on the sofabed, just trying to be strong.
Think I'll have to accept it as over, suppose I'd better tell my family later, that will be nice!
At least, if binning someone and then ripping their heart out, I would at least fk off out of the house for a few days. Her out, not you.
I can empathise, wife wasn't quit so forthright but when she stopped wearing her wedding and engagement ring I got the message. I have spent the last 3 months trying to re kindle the relationship but she is not interested. I do not believe there is anyone else on the ground, but the internet is a terrible place for bored and immature minds.I have suggested we go to relate etc no go.
Having been married a little over 9 years I look like dividing in two what took me 30 years to acquire with a women who I wonder if I ever really new. Having accepted the inevitable outcome I now need to find out if there is anyway to minimise the financial impact ( my earning days are over and I have no way to recover..too old).
Re trying to find evidence of "someone else" don't bother it will not help at all..
Having been married a little over 9 years I look like dividing in two what took me 30 years to acquire with a women who I wonder if I ever really new. Having accepted the inevitable outcome I now need to find out if there is anyway to minimise the financial impact ( my earning days are over and I have no way to recover..too old).
Re trying to find evidence of "someone else" don't bother it will not help at all..
NeMiSiS said:
She will be fine in a couple of days, my wife often says " I don't love you anymore ", sometime she tells me " She has never loved me, ever "....little minx.
But once she has seen the error of her ways, I release the chains and let her out of the cellar, she is usually fine for a while after that, it's for the best.
Try, "It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again." Works a treat, I find.But once she has seen the error of her ways, I release the chains and let her out of the cellar, she is usually fine for a while after that, it's for the best.
Jasandjules said:
Are you sure she is not depressed now?
If not, then time to set your affairs in order to ensure you are covered with the split.
Possibly, she says she doesn't love me but doesn't know why or what to do. But as it's happened before, it may well be me thats triggering the depression? I don't know.If not, then time to set your affairs in order to ensure you are covered with the split.
I've already spoke about the house, and what we'd do and likely to raise cash wise, however she doesn't understand how I can talk about things like that?
Wolfer said:
Possibly, she says she doesn't love me but doesn't know why or what to do. But as it's happened before, it may well be me thats triggering the depression? I don't know.
I've already spoke about the house, and what we'd do and likely to raise cash wise, however she doesn't understand how I can talk about things like that?
She's mental.I've already spoke about the house, and what we'd do and likely to raise cash wise, however she doesn't understand how I can talk about things like that?
Time to move on and enjoy your life.
Wolfer said:
Possibly, she says she doesn't love me but doesn't know why or what to do. But as it's happened before, it may well be me thats triggering the depression? I don't know.
I've already spoke about the house, and what we'd do and likely to raise cash wise, however she doesn't understand how I can talk about things like that?
She's in depression. She feels consumed by it but may not realise.I've already spoke about the house, and what we'd do and likely to raise cash wise, however she doesn't understand how I can talk about things like that?
This is why she can't comprehend other things and process other emotions and thoughts. I've been in that situation and I am 99% that that is the case.
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