Being told " I don't love you anymore"
Discussion
Martin4x4 said:
Wolfer said:
she explained she is being made redundant.
Any redundancy payment is a joint asset and as unemployed she will get legal aid to screw you over.
king can. Get shot, sooner the better. Wolfer said:
Hi chaps,
Can't explain fully, haven't got long, but yes, joint mortgage, we'll split everything equally. Including furnishings (although I just want to sell the lot, do not want reminders). She will take the dogs, again as they will be reminders. Only trouble with her taking the dogs is that it will be harder for her to find a place to stay once house is sold.
One complication came up last night, I came back from work ready to ask about getting separate accounts and just paying into the joint account the bills we need to pay. However, before I got that far, she explained she is being made redundant.
Now it will look like spite if I was to go ahead with conversation about getting separate accounts!
and this is your problem, how, exactly???Can't explain fully, haven't got long, but yes, joint mortgage, we'll split everything equally. Including furnishings (although I just want to sell the lot, do not want reminders). She will take the dogs, again as they will be reminders. Only trouble with her taking the dogs is that it will be harder for her to find a place to stay once house is sold.
One complication came up last night, I came back from work ready to ask about getting separate accounts and just paying into the joint account the bills we need to pay. However, before I got that far, she explained she is being made redundant.
Now it will look like spite if I was to go ahead with conversation about getting separate accounts!
olly22n said:
Then don't get married. I went through this and it is a vicious circle of untrust which results in what you feared most anyway. Divorce and half your assets gone.
I am going through a divorce and if I could go back in time and give myself one piece of advice it would be don't get married. There is absolutely zero benefits to the man, but you get a 50/50 chance of losing everything if the woman gets bored. Considering how many stories there are on the internet about decent guys getting screwed over and living in a bedsit with plastic garden furniture/parent's house there really is no excuse for anyone not knowing what they are letting themselves in for anymore.
I have spoken about this to a few guys who are on the road to getting married and you can see they don't think it will ever happen to them. If you are in a long term relationship it almost seems that men are resigned to the fact that they will have to get married at some point and they have no say in this matter.
I often wonder if it wasn't for sex if men would even bother interacting with women at all!
Remember, No Wife Happy Life!
Joey Deacon said:
olly22n said:
Then don't get married. I went through this and it is a vicious circle of untrust which results in what you feared most anyway. Divorce and half your assets gone.
I am going through a divorce and if I could go back in time and give myself one piece of advice it would be don't get married. There is absolutely zero benefits to the man, but you get a 50/50 chance of losing everything if the woman gets bored. Considering how many stories there are on the internet about decent guys getting screwed over and living in a bedsit with plastic garden furniture/parent's house there really is no excuse for anyone not knowing what they are letting themselves in for anymore.
I have spoken about this to a few guys who are on the road to getting married and you can see they don't think it will ever happen to them. If you are in a long term relationship it almost seems that men are resigned to the fact that they will have to get married at some point and they have no say in this matter.
I often wonder if it wasn't for sex if men would even bother interacting with women at all!
Remember, No Wife Happy Life!
Harry Flashman seems to of nailed this one given his recent 'Financial Advice' thread...
Next time I'll avoid pretty bar maids studying 'Events Management' who come with a pay day loan in tow. Bullet dodged as at least I can just kick her out with what she came with minus the pay day loan which I insisted she paid off before paying me rent. Ditsy is putting it mildly.
Wolfer said:
Hi chaps,
Can't explain fully, haven't got long, but yes, joint mortgage, we'll split everything equally. Including furnishings (although I just want to sell the lot, do not want reminders). She will take the dogs, again as they will be reminders. Only trouble with her taking the dogs is that it will be harder for her to find a place to stay once house is sold.
One complication came up last night, I came back from work ready to ask about getting separate accounts and just paying into the joint account the bills we need to pay. However, before I got that far, she explained she is being made redundant.
Now it will look like spite if I was to go ahead with conversation about getting separate accounts!
I've read this thread from the beginning. Can't explain fully, haven't got long, but yes, joint mortgage, we'll split everything equally. Including furnishings (although I just want to sell the lot, do not want reminders). She will take the dogs, again as they will be reminders. Only trouble with her taking the dogs is that it will be harder for her to find a place to stay once house is sold.
One complication came up last night, I came back from work ready to ask about getting separate accounts and just paying into the joint account the bills we need to pay. However, before I got that far, she explained she is being made redundant.
Now it will look like spite if I was to go ahead with conversation about getting separate accounts!
Despite the good advice on offer, our OP in this case just doesn't get it.
You are institutionalised.
/DuncanBanatyne
Redundancy ?
It's time to update your CV
Protect No1
Look around now.
New bank account and move your finances.
Protect No1
Get your house on the market.
She's now going to really f ck with your needy head if you don't wise up
She'll know how to press every burton in your sorry noggin Fella
She'll already be deciding the pros and cons of delaying her off till she's a bit more stable.
Expect a 2am knock on the door, and her slipping post showered thong wearing into your bed
Pregnant, it all changes, and there's no way no how that suddenly your back to being the love God you want to be in her head.
Here's a strong tip
You'll know when she's lying.
You'll see her lips move.
It's time to update your CV
Protect No1
Look around now.
New bank account and move your finances.
Protect No1
Get your house on the market.
She's now going to really f ck with your needy head if you don't wise up
She'll know how to press every burton in your sorry noggin Fella
She'll already be deciding the pros and cons of delaying her off till she's a bit more stable.
Expect a 2am knock on the door, and her slipping post showered thong wearing into your bed
Pregnant, it all changes, and there's no way no how that suddenly your back to being the love God you want to be in her head.
Here's a strong tip
You'll know when she's lying.
You'll see her lips move.
9mm said:
Not smarter. Neither sex is smarter but women are definitely more mental.
However, one thing most women don't seem to do so well is consider any alternatives to their plan.
Thus when plan go according to does not, you are the unreasonable b'stard, they are the victim, bunnies must be boiled, etc.
My ex-wife's 'plan' was truly astonishing and yet it seemed the only people that had any faith in it coming to fruition were her and the boyfriend.
It's almost as if they don't plan, they just write down what they would like to happen in an ideal world (I was supposed to emigrate to the US, a place I had never even visited at that time and give her the house ffs) and that 'vision' is the plan.
The 'plan' made me laugh!However, one thing most women don't seem to do so well is consider any alternatives to their plan.
Thus when plan go according to does not, you are the unreasonable b'stard, they are the victim, bunnies must be boiled, etc.
My ex-wife's 'plan' was truly astonishing and yet it seemed the only people that had any faith in it coming to fruition were her and the boyfriend.
It's almost as if they don't plan, they just write down what they would like to happen in an ideal world (I was supposed to emigrate to the US, a place I had never even visited at that time and give her the house ffs) and that 'vision' is the plan.
CountZero23 said:
Joey Deacon said:
olly22n said:
Then don't get married. I went through this and it is a vicious circle of untrust which results in what you feared most anyway. Divorce and half your assets gone.
I am going through a divorce and if I could go back in time and give myself one piece of advice it would be don't get married. There is absolutely zero benefits to the man, but you get a 50/50 chance of losing everything if the woman gets bored. Considering how many stories there are on the internet about decent guys getting screwed over and living in a bedsit with plastic garden furniture/parent's house there really is no excuse for anyone not knowing what they are letting themselves in for anymore.
I have spoken about this to a few guys who are on the road to getting married and you can see they don't think it will ever happen to them. If you are in a long term relationship it almost seems that men are resigned to the fact that they will have to get married at some point and they have no say in this matter.
I often wonder if it wasn't for sex if men would even bother interacting with women at all!
Remember, No Wife Happy Life!
Harry Flashman seems to of nailed this one given his recent 'Financial Advice' thread...
Next time I'll avoid pretty bar maids studying 'Events Management' who come with a pay day loan in tow. Bullet dodged as at least I can just kick her out with what she came with minus the pay day loan which I insisted she paid off before paying me rent. Ditsy is putting it mildly.
stuttgartmetal said:
Redundancy ?
It's time to update your CV
Protect No1
Look around now.
New bank account and move your finances.
Protect No1
Get your house on the market.
She's now going to really f ck with your needy head if you don't wise up
She'll know how to press every burton in your sorry noggin Fella
She'll already be deciding the pros and cons of delaying her off till she's a bit more stable.
Expect a 2am knock on the door, and her slipping post showered thong wearing into your bed
Pregnant, it all changes, and there's no way no how that suddenly your back to being the love God you want to be in her head.
Here's a strong tip
You'll know when she's lying.
You'll see her lips move.
Quite bluntly put, but to be fair it's a perfectly likely scenario. It's time to update your CV
Protect No1
Look around now.
New bank account and move your finances.
Protect No1
Get your house on the market.
She's now going to really f ck with your needy head if you don't wise up
She'll know how to press every burton in your sorry noggin Fella
She'll already be deciding the pros and cons of delaying her off till she's a bit more stable.
Expect a 2am knock on the door, and her slipping post showered thong wearing into your bed
Pregnant, it all changes, and there's no way no how that suddenly your back to being the love God you want to be in her head.
Here's a strong tip
You'll know when she's lying.
You'll see her lips move.
DO NOT LET YOUR WINKLE ACCIDENTALLY POP INSIDE HER ONE LAST TIME FOR OLD TIME'S SAKE.
Nicely softened Andrew.
I'd hate the thread to ggo quiet only to be resurrected 4 years later.
Wolf, who temporarily changed his name, changes it back then , giving us the whole walk of shame, I've been rinsed, I never see my kids run down.
Don't F ck her mate
Just don't.
I'd hate the thread to ggo quiet only to be resurrected 4 years later.
Wolf, who temporarily changed his name, changes it back then , giving us the whole walk of shame, I've been rinsed, I never see my kids run down.
Don't F ck her mate
Just don't.
Edited by stuttgartmetal on Thursday 15th January 16:33
Hi,
for anyone that is interested, a bit of an update.
We're making another go of it all. Past behind us and all that.
Nah....turned a bit of a corner now. Not in any way shape or form saying I'm over everything, and the mug inside of me still wants everything to be how it was, but it never will be and I know my life has changed completely.
I look at myself as single now, and refer to the wife as "the ex". Managing work quite well under the circumstances, and keeping my head held high.
Still living at the "house", (no longer home) and we are working as friends there, once house is sold I will cut all ties, but for now, pleasantries all round including going out for the odd meal etc, as friends only.
I asked a friend of hers a couple of weeks back about the situation, and said I was holding off on the sale of the house as she hadn't mentioned it, and wanted to give it some time, you never know.....she replied with the fact that she knew "ex" was adamant she wanted to sell up and move on. Hit me like a brick, as she doesn't talk about it to me too much, but was probably the turning point for me.
Today we have spent the morning getting everything from the sheds, utility, garden and spare rooms that neither of us want / rubbish, and loading it outside. I have Monday off and will take several trips to the tip! Tonight all furniture not wanted is going on ebay with a 99p start. This is all ready for when estate agents come to take pics.
Again, another turning point! Throwing away everything we have accumulated over 20 years as if it's nothing, when before we held it as sacred almost! Wierdly (or not in the case of women) she is keeping all the teddies and other soppy stuff you get your wife when you love her, including wedding dress and rings etc.
I'm taking my Technic Lego, pc stuff and my rc nitro car!
She is posting on facebook more about stuff, probably as she knows I hate facebook ha ha. And still gets the odd dig in about how my family haven't been in touch with her to see how she's doing.
I will admit, the house is looking nice now, and friggin huge! Bonus too that it looks like we got the value wrong on the house, and it's closer to 270k, therefore after all fees, paying everything off etc, we're looking at between 35 and 45k each at least. Which will be handy. Plus I have my 3 cars and the above lego etc. She wants a lot of the furniture to put into storage which is fine by me.
One upside is that I have already lost a stone in weight, plus hardly drinking, every cloud and all that. Determined now to get my 37 year old body back to how it was at 17 when I was lifting.
Don't get me wrong, I will probably break down when the house is sold and we go our seperate ways (will miss my dogs like mad too!!) and even now when walking round the house I get the odd "moment".
And yes, I will be a tw@t / mug / insert what you think, and help her as much as possible to the bitter end......but I'm determined not to be bitter!
I would like to thank everyone for reading, offering advice good or bad, and to say I'm glad I posted here that fateful night, if nothing else, it may even help some other sap!
Cheers,
Will update in a few weeks when more is on the move, if not for you, for me to look back on and for therapy
for anyone that is interested, a bit of an update.
We're making another go of it all. Past behind us and all that.
Nah....turned a bit of a corner now. Not in any way shape or form saying I'm over everything, and the mug inside of me still wants everything to be how it was, but it never will be and I know my life has changed completely.
I look at myself as single now, and refer to the wife as "the ex". Managing work quite well under the circumstances, and keeping my head held high.
Still living at the "house", (no longer home) and we are working as friends there, once house is sold I will cut all ties, but for now, pleasantries all round including going out for the odd meal etc, as friends only.
I asked a friend of hers a couple of weeks back about the situation, and said I was holding off on the sale of the house as she hadn't mentioned it, and wanted to give it some time, you never know.....she replied with the fact that she knew "ex" was adamant she wanted to sell up and move on. Hit me like a brick, as she doesn't talk about it to me too much, but was probably the turning point for me.
Today we have spent the morning getting everything from the sheds, utility, garden and spare rooms that neither of us want / rubbish, and loading it outside. I have Monday off and will take several trips to the tip! Tonight all furniture not wanted is going on ebay with a 99p start. This is all ready for when estate agents come to take pics.
Again, another turning point! Throwing away everything we have accumulated over 20 years as if it's nothing, when before we held it as sacred almost! Wierdly (or not in the case of women) she is keeping all the teddies and other soppy stuff you get your wife when you love her, including wedding dress and rings etc.
I'm taking my Technic Lego, pc stuff and my rc nitro car!
She is posting on facebook more about stuff, probably as she knows I hate facebook ha ha. And still gets the odd dig in about how my family haven't been in touch with her to see how she's doing.
I will admit, the house is looking nice now, and friggin huge! Bonus too that it looks like we got the value wrong on the house, and it's closer to 270k, therefore after all fees, paying everything off etc, we're looking at between 35 and 45k each at least. Which will be handy. Plus I have my 3 cars and the above lego etc. She wants a lot of the furniture to put into storage which is fine by me.
One upside is that I have already lost a stone in weight, plus hardly drinking, every cloud and all that. Determined now to get my 37 year old body back to how it was at 17 when I was lifting.
Don't get me wrong, I will probably break down when the house is sold and we go our seperate ways (will miss my dogs like mad too!!) and even now when walking round the house I get the odd "moment".
And yes, I will be a tw@t / mug / insert what you think, and help her as much as possible to the bitter end......but I'm determined not to be bitter!
I would like to thank everyone for reading, offering advice good or bad, and to say I'm glad I posted here that fateful night, if nothing else, it may even help some other sap!
Cheers,
Will update in a few weeks when more is on the move, if not for you, for me to look back on and for therapy
CountZero23 said:
Or marry a girl who is worth more than the square root of zero.
Harry Flashman seems to of nailed this one given his recent 'Financial Advice' thread...
Next time I'll avoid pretty bar maids studying 'Events Management' who come with a pay day loan in tow. Bullet dodged as at least I can just kick her out with what she came with minus the pay day loan which I insisted she paid off before paying me rent. Ditsy is putting it mildly.
As someone recently engaged, I have been reading this thread with interest.Harry Flashman seems to of nailed this one given his recent 'Financial Advice' thread...
Next time I'll avoid pretty bar maids studying 'Events Management' who come with a pay day loan in tow. Bullet dodged as at least I can just kick her out with what she came with minus the pay day loan which I insisted she paid off before paying me rent. Ditsy is putting it mildly.
You wouldn't have a wastrel/sponger for a best friend, so why on earth would you marry one? One of the least attractive characteristics someone can have is a sense of entitlement/that they deserve a lifestyle paid for by someone else.
Lady F has asked that we do a prenup, despite the fact that most of the assets in our partnership are currently mine (even though she earns a similar salary to me these days). I have agreed. We love each other very, very much - but people can change. I watched my father descend into alcoholism and madness, and him become a different person. A knock to the head could do it too. Precautions need to be taken - either of us could become a lunatic, and the other should not lose everything because of that.
Sorry to hear the tales of woe on this thread. Some of them are heartbreaking. The woman who waited to divorce the man until his father died, so that she could get her half?
She would have ended up under the Flashman patio. Along with all the others.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Monday 19th January 19:33
Harry Flashman said:
As someone recently engaged, I have been reading this thread with interest.
You wouldn't have a wastrel/sponger for a best friend, so why on earth would you marry one? One of the least attractive characteristics someone can have is a sense of entitlement/that they deserve a lifestyle paid for by someone else.
Lady F has asked that we do a prenup, despite the fact that most of the assets in our partnership are currently mine (even though she earns a similar salary to me these days). I have agreed. We love each other very, very much - but people can change. I watched my father descend into alcoholism and madness, and him become a different person. A knock to the head could do it too. Precautions need to be taken - either of us could become a lunatic, and the other should not lose everything because of that.
Sorry to hear the tales of woe on this thread. Some of them are heartbreaking. The woman who waited to divorce the man until his father died, so that she could get her half?
She would have ended up under the Flashman patio. Along with all the others.
Um, how big is your patio - how many others are there?You wouldn't have a wastrel/sponger for a best friend, so why on earth would you marry one? One of the least attractive characteristics someone can have is a sense of entitlement/that they deserve a lifestyle paid for by someone else.
Lady F has asked that we do a prenup, despite the fact that most of the assets in our partnership are currently mine (even though she earns a similar salary to me these days). I have agreed. We love each other very, very much - but people can change. I watched my father descend into alcoholism and madness, and him become a different person. A knock to the head could do it too. Precautions need to be taken - either of us could become a lunatic, and the other should not lose everything because of that.
Sorry to hear the tales of woe on this thread. Some of them are heartbreaking. The woman who waited to divorce the man until his father died, so that she could get her half?
She would have ended up under the Flashman patio. Along with all the others.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Monday 19th January 19:33
I don't think pre nups carry much weight in UK divorce courts - the judge can easily over ride them to ensure that both sides 'can continue to live in the lifestyle they have become accustomed to' (as far as possible).
mjb1 said:
Harry Flashman said:
As someone recently engaged, I have been reading this thread with interest.
You wouldn't have a wastrel/sponger for a best friend, so why on earth would you marry one? One of the least attractive characteristics someone can have is a sense of entitlement/that they deserve a lifestyle paid for by someone else.
Lady F has asked that we do a prenup, despite the fact that most of the assets in our partnership are currently mine (even though she earns a similar salary to me these days). I have agreed. We love each other very, very much - but people can change. I watched my father descend into alcoholism and madness, and him become a different person. A knock to the head could do it too. Precautions need to be taken - either of us could become a lunatic, and the other should not lose everything because of that.
Sorry to hear the tales of woe on this thread. Some of them are heartbreaking. The woman who waited to divorce the man until his father died, so that she could get her half?
She would have ended up under the Flashman patio. Along with all the others.
Um, how big is your patio - how many others are there?You wouldn't have a wastrel/sponger for a best friend, so why on earth would you marry one? One of the least attractive characteristics someone can have is a sense of entitlement/that they deserve a lifestyle paid for by someone else.
Lady F has asked that we do a prenup, despite the fact that most of the assets in our partnership are currently mine (even though she earns a similar salary to me these days). I have agreed. We love each other very, very much - but people can change. I watched my father descend into alcoholism and madness, and him become a different person. A knock to the head could do it too. Precautions need to be taken - either of us could become a lunatic, and the other should not lose everything because of that.
Sorry to hear the tales of woe on this thread. Some of them are heartbreaking. The woman who waited to divorce the man until his father died, so that she could get her half?
She would have ended up under the Flashman patio. Along with all the others.
I don't think pre nups carry much weight in UK divorce courts - the judge can easily over ride them to ensure that both sides 'can continue to live in the lifestyle they have become accustomed to' (as far as possible).
Harder to argue the lifestyle point if she earns the same as him though!
AyBee said:
mjb1 said:
Harry Flashman said:
As someone recently engaged, I have been reading this thread with interest.
You wouldn't have a wastrel/sponger for a best friend, so why on earth would you marry one? One of the least attractive characteristics someone can have is a sense of entitlement/that they deserve a lifestyle paid for by someone else.
Lady F has asked that we do a prenup, despite the fact that most of the assets in our partnership are currently mine (even though she earns a similar salary to me these days). I have agreed. We love each other very, very much - but people can change. I watched my father descend into alcoholism and madness, and him become a different person. A knock to the head could do it too. Precautions need to be taken - either of us could become a lunatic, and the other should not lose everything because of that.
Sorry to hear the tales of woe on this thread. Some of them are heartbreaking. The woman who waited to divorce the man until his father died, so that she could get her half?
She would have ended up under the Flashman patio. Along with all the others.
Um, how big is your patio - how many others are there?You wouldn't have a wastrel/sponger for a best friend, so why on earth would you marry one? One of the least attractive characteristics someone can have is a sense of entitlement/that they deserve a lifestyle paid for by someone else.
Lady F has asked that we do a prenup, despite the fact that most of the assets in our partnership are currently mine (even though she earns a similar salary to me these days). I have agreed. We love each other very, very much - but people can change. I watched my father descend into alcoholism and madness, and him become a different person. A knock to the head could do it too. Precautions need to be taken - either of us could become a lunatic, and the other should not lose everything because of that.
Sorry to hear the tales of woe on this thread. Some of them are heartbreaking. The woman who waited to divorce the man until his father died, so that she could get her half?
She would have ended up under the Flashman patio. Along with all the others.
I don't think pre nups carry much weight in UK divorce courts - the judge can easily over ride them to ensure that both sides 'can continue to live in the lifestyle they have become accustomed to' (as far as possible).
Harder to argue the lifestyle point if she earns the same as him though!
Otherwise, if either party desperately wants to continue in a particular lifestyle and absent other malign factors, they can always invest in stronger underwear elastic and take a bigger dose of mutual understanding. Lubing one party for the inevitable bend-over seems inequitable. Partly
but not all, feel free to guess.Every so often I wonder how much trouble this guy, the op, has got himself into
His last sort of sign off post had a tinge of sadness about it, but also a touch of trying to distance himself from the thread.
Distance himself.
Why would he do that, I sit here and ponder that aspect
To go from one extreme to the other.
Almost like he regretted posting.
Almost like he was rejecting advice
Like he knew better.
And then what.
Nuffen.
Nuffen eh. /lamarrr
That's HEDLEY.
Meh.
His last sort of sign off post had a tinge of sadness about it, but also a touch of trying to distance himself from the thread.
Distance himself.
Why would he do that, I sit here and ponder that aspect
To go from one extreme to the other.
Almost like he regretted posting.
Almost like he was rejecting advice
Like he knew better.
And then what.
Nuffen.
Nuffen eh. /lamarrr
That's HEDLEY.
Meh.
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