Being Santa - Any tips?

[thetapeworm]

The nursery my daughter goes to have asked me to be Santa for a couple of hours this year, finally I've received some recognition for all the effort gone into building this authentic physique!

I've agreed to do it (they are sorting out the costume) but now I've done this the realisation of it has started to sink in. What the heck does a Santa do and what do I need to know? I was hoping some of you might have experience of this role already and can help me out.

I'm OK with the whole "what's your name?" and "have you been good?" side of things but I'm now wondering if the little darlings (ages 2 > 5) will test me with any questions and if so what do I need to prepare for?

Do I go with an accent? Am I supposed to smell of booze?

I don't even know what all the reindeer are called at the moment.

[Jimmyarm]

Don't get a boner

Hth

[thetapeworm]

Jimmyarm said:

Don't get a boner

Hth

I was going to include that in my original list of things I've worked out already but I thought I'd save it for someone else to say

[deeen]

Just learn the song... you'll be fine!

"Oi! Santa! Where's my f-ing bike?..."

[lord trumpton]

Just be careful how you handle the children

Don't be to touchy or affectionate and don't sit them on your knee. Seems silly but some parents can be extremely edgy and its best to keep them at arms length and play it safe in this day and age.

[markcoznottz]

If the grotto's a bit small be careful not to get claustrophobia .

[LordFlathead]

Don't have a curry the night before

[Cupramax]

Make sure you CRB check yourself before any impending mentals inflict paedogeddon on you...

[numtumfutunch]

lord trumpton said:

Just be careful how you handle the children

Don't be to touchy or affectionate and don't sit them on your knee. Seems silly but some parents can be extremely edgy and its best to keep them at arms length and play it safe in this day and age.

A sensible post!

This sites gone to the dogs

[DaveGoddard]

Go in, tell everyone present (no pun intended) that Christmas is a load of sky pixie based over-materialistic bullst and that there is no such thing as Father Christmas, and then fk off to the pub.

(As you can tell, I don't like Christmas.)

[kowalski655]

Tell every kid that they are guaranteed to get EVERYTHING they want for Xmas,plus a bike/PS4/something else expensive as well thrown in for good measure....and then imagine the chaos and trauma on Xmas morning when they open their presents and find Santa lied

[R6VED]

I was Father Christmas many years ago for an event we held at our school for the local elderly folk. - about 20 years ago.

I was quite nervous but as soon as that suit was on I fell into the role nicely, seeing the smiling faces was well worth it and I gave it my all.

Enjoy it

[Dr Interceptor]

Learn the Rudolph song, then you know your reindeer too.

Stick a bit of blusher on your cheeks, will make you look rosy, and avoids shininess in photos.

[daddy cool]

Watch this:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0307987/?ref_=nv_sr_1
...and take notes.

[grumpy52]

Get the best costume and beard you can , it makes a big difference .
I have done it a couple of times , very much out of character for me ( user name is no accident ).
I was floored by one of the GF's grandsons who can be 'difficult' ,when he opened the front door to be suprised by Father Christmas (me) went all wide eyed and declared " I have been good , honest ! ".
Enjoy it !

[Origin Unknown]

thetapeworm said:

The nursery my daughter goes to have asked me to be Santa for a couple of hours this year, finally I've received some recognition for all the effort gone into building this authentic physique!

I've agreed to do it (they are sorting out the costume) but now I've done this the realisation of it has started to sink in. What the heck does a Santa do and what do I need to know? I was hoping some of you might have experience of this role already and can help me out.

I'm OK with the whole "what's your name?" and "have you been good?" side of things but I'm now wondering if the little darlings (ages 2 > 5) will test me with any questions and if so what do I need to prepare for?

Do I go with an accent? Am I supposed to smell of booze?

I don't even know what all the reindeer are called at the moment.

Only good is going to come from your portly build and nursery staff organising the costume

[Bellatrix]

Don't let your opening line be ...........Now then, Now then, what can Father Xmas fix for you?

[thetapeworm]

Bellatrix said:

Don't let your opening line be ...........Now then, Now then, what can Father Xmas fix for you?

The first of two sessions completed this morning, I was bricking it but soon settled into things once I was in my grotto. No erections to report.

I did notice that the wig was very Jimmy Savile though.

[soad]

Being Santa is no easy task; kids today are a savvy bunch, and the truth about Mr. Claus is only a Google search away.
Some kids will try to rip off your fake beard to prove that you're not Santa!

"You're not the real Santa Claus!"
"That's right, son/sweetie. I'm just a stand-in. The real Santa is busy making toys for all you girls and boys in his workshop in the North Pole, so he told me to come down and visit you."

[Some Gump]

Don't attempt coutus with a person of size in the changing room.

Also, watch out for Bernie Mac. He's on to you.