You're 31, with £11,000, and failed miserably in life...

[soad]

Fantastic!

[thatdude]

lord trumpton said:

Just get some tablets - something like Venlafaxine. Everything will then become just great.

I wouldn't bother with therapy. At 31 you will be die cast anyway and just end up spunking money out for nothing.

Just take the pills and crack on. Have a child - you won't have time to mope around thinking about your life. life as you know it will change and your child will become the centre of your universe.

I'm not sure this is great advice. Antidepressants are wonderful at covering up symptoms, much like morphine is great at masking the pain of a terrible injury. But you still need further work to heal the root cause of the pain.

Antidepressants will lift ones mood enough so they can get out of bed and get about and out, but take away the antidepressants and the underlying problem will cause reversion back to the depressed state.

There are plenty of psychological therapeutic techniques that can be put into practice, and they do work. Age isnt a factor but your willingness to overcome depression / anxiety etc is. People want to get better, but they don't know how. A clinical psychologist has the tools available to help the client steer themselves to a better state of mind, and provide them with techniques to keep themselves propped up.

Don't discount psychological services OP, if you need them, request referral from you GP.

[glazbagun]

Awesome news OP.

[Leptons]

OP if it's any consolation I'm 30and I've saved fk all.

Congrats on the new job.

[Leptons]

OP if it's any consolation I'm 30and I've saved fk all.

Congrats on the new job.

[Leicesterdave]

Thank you all, very much, for your words of encouragement. I didn't expect this thread to be so popular at all- and it has been a real eye opener!
As I said I really am dead chuffed that at long last, I somehow feel 'normal'. I am no longer going to have endless days of not knowing what to do with myself and feeling utterly hopeless. That side of things feels fantastic.

I do however know that there will be challenges ahead. For a start, 8 weeks of classroom based training. To be chucked in with all these 'strangers' will feel odd and I just hope I will appear normal. You've got to bear in mind that I won't be used to such a huge number of people around me so that in itself will feel very alien. But the fact that my mrs said she was proud of me and genuinely looked so happy makes it all worthwhile. I just know that I cannot fail- she is now counting on me.

[Ved]

I still hear your lizard brain

Read. That. Book.

[andy-xr]

Leicesterdave said:

You've got to bear in mind that I won't be used to such a huge number of people around me so that in itself will feel very alien.

That's an excuse.

Leicesterdave said:

I just know that I cannot fail- she is now counting on me.

And that's putting pressure on yourself that's not motivational, it's based on someone else's judgement of failure and that doesnt work because it's outside of your control. Why arent you counting on yourself?

If you take ownership of your own thoughts and feelings then you'd stand a better chance of saying 'I did my best' regardless of whether you win or fail.

I used to do things at less than or around 95% of my ability, because then, if it went wrong, I could say to myself 'hah, that's OK because I didnt give it 100% anyway' But that's really destructive, and basically means you dont get anything accomplished on merit, more by luck and I set myself up to fail. That was my excuse

lord trumpton said:

I wouldn't bother with therapy. At 31 you will be die cast anyway and just end up spunking money out for nothing.

I strongly disagree with this, on two counts

1) At 33, I had 18 months of fairly heavy psychotherapy which changed the way I perceive things and also my thought patterns
2) Those thought patterns come from habits, and habits while being hard to break can be broken. You have to see them, some can be very implicit, some can be explicit, but they're there and if you dont see them, you'll continue in the same old ways. If you do see them, you need to make a choice of whether to carry on as you always do, or take a different path. Mindfulness is something I'm quite in to. Here is a basic info link: http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/mindfulness.htm

Edited by andy-xr on Thursday 4th December 08:56

Edited by andy-xr on Thursday 4th December 09:14

[Matt UK]

Nice one chap. Just get in the mix, be confident in what you can do, aware enough to say what you can't do and be yourself.

[Leicesterdave]

andy-xr said:

That's an excuse.

No, this is getting a bit silly. It's not an excuse. It's a fact. It doesn't mean I'm going to be avoiding the situation- I mean I've got myself a F/T job for gods sake! I will inevitably feel awkward and weird, most people would even without an anxiety/depression issue.