How Would You Feel If I Did This To Your Child.
Discussion
Was at a Supermarket on Saturday. It was an in and out couple of items type visit. On the way in I noticed an agitated and yappy Staffie tied to railings while it's owner shopped. On my way out I noticed a kid of about 10-11 doing a very good job of calming and comforting the little beast. What I then saw was another kid, around the same age, walk up behind the pair shaking a cheap can of cola, pop the ring-pull and spray the pair with sticky juice whilst roaring at the top of his voice with delight. I was angry. It was nasty and thoughtless. It was also dangerous. The Staffie got a fright and recoiled. It could have reacted by biting the kid stroking him and as they were nose to nose bit him in the face.
Rather than just walk away I had words with the Coca Cola Kid. To get an idea of the tone I used parents need to think of that heart in mouth fright if something was to occur like one of their children running out on the road without looking and almost getting hit by a car. You know, that slightly out of control, emotional, "I maybe went a bit too far there" telling off they kid gets while the blood's still up and the heart's pounding.
I was venomous and aggressive. A proper old school ticking off that only the old boys off PH will remember getting off strangers and neighbours as kids (1960s & 70s). None off that "address the action and not the child" nonsense my teacher ex-wife would spout. I did address the actions with the Kid left in no uncertain terms what he did was thoughtless, cruel, stupid and downright dangerous. His friend's clothes and the dogs fur were wet and skicky on a cold day, the dog was upset, his friend's mum would have to wash his clothes, it was a waste of juice, the dog could have disfigured his friend for life, the dog would have been put down and it was all his fault. I also let the kid know he was nasty, thoughtless and an out and out idiot. The result was convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles. I then skulked off wondering if I'd gone too far.
Questions to the forum. Should I have just walked on by or was I right to intervene? Did I go too far? How would you have felt had your own kid been given a b
king off a strange adult? And finally as someone who at that age could be thumped, never mind just given a hard telling off" by teachers, the Police, extended family and neighbours if I were to step out of line then get thumped off my parents for doing something deserving of a thump of someone else and took it all in my stride am I wrong to think the kids of today are awfully soft compared to previous generations?
Rather than just walk away I had words with the Coca Cola Kid. To get an idea of the tone I used parents need to think of that heart in mouth fright if something was to occur like one of their children running out on the road without looking and almost getting hit by a car. You know, that slightly out of control, emotional, "I maybe went a bit too far there" telling off they kid gets while the blood's still up and the heart's pounding.
I was venomous and aggressive. A proper old school ticking off that only the old boys off PH will remember getting off strangers and neighbours as kids (1960s & 70s). None off that "address the action and not the child" nonsense my teacher ex-wife would spout. I did address the actions with the Kid left in no uncertain terms what he did was thoughtless, cruel, stupid and downright dangerous. His friend's clothes and the dogs fur were wet and skicky on a cold day, the dog was upset, his friend's mum would have to wash his clothes, it was a waste of juice, the dog could have disfigured his friend for life, the dog would have been put down and it was all his fault. I also let the kid know he was nasty, thoughtless and an out and out idiot. The result was convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles. I then skulked off wondering if I'd gone too far.
Questions to the forum. Should I have just walked on by or was I right to intervene? Did I go too far? How would you have felt had your own kid been given a b
king off a strange adult? And finally as someone who at that age could be thumped, never mind just given a hard telling off" by teachers, the Police, extended family and neighbours if I were to step out of line then get thumped off my parents for doing something deserving of a thump of someone else and took it all in my stride am I wrong to think the kids of today are awfully soft compared to previous generations? Edited by Tannedbaldhead on Monday 24th November 16:05
hornetrider said:
Tannedbaldhead said:
The result was convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles.
Don't get me wrong, I'm with you. You were right to intervene. A mild bking was probably called for. However ^^^ that probably tells me you went a bit too far.That is now a lesson he will never forget,and if it makes him consider his actions a bit more in the future then this is a good lesson for him to learn.
hornetrider said:
Tannedbaldhead said:
The result was convulsive sobbing and snot bubbles.
Don't get me wrong, I'm with you. You were right to intervene. A mild bking was probably called for. However ^^^ that probably tells me you went a bit too far.The kid across from our house does that when you ask him to put his shoes on when he doesn't want to, or when we tell him its time to go home.
To the OP, good on you! When I was a kid, adults would give you a rollicking if you stepped out of line in front of them, whether you were known to them or not. I believe half the issue with kids these days is the parents coming along and having a pop at you then attempting to sue for reasons known only to themselves.
If I caught you doing the same thing to mine when hes a few years older (only 2 currently) I would back you 100 percent.
Lotus Notes said:
At least you stopped short of laughing and pointing at his runny nose and teary eyes..
I felt exactly the opposite. He was still a primary school kid. Have only spoken to a young kid once like that before. He was about 3 or 4. He had his fingers in the hinge of a public toilet door and when I saw it I roared (I was terrified at what I saw). Poor wee lad jumped out of his skin. I immediately dropped down on to my haunches and gently explained that at his age I had chopped off my sisters fingers when I shut them in a door and they had to be sewn back on (true story btw). His daddy who was holding his hand made the wee lad "say sorry to the poor man for giving him a fright".
I agree with the principle of what you did (definitely with with fingers-in-the-door story) but if you'd have gone far enough to make one of my kids convulse sobbing and snotting I'd have made you do the same. Not playing the hard man at all but to reduce "my" child to that on a "it may have happened but didn't" situation (rather than the fingers one where it quite probably didn't happen because you shouted) is a step too far.
Leaving the child in no doubt that what they did was wrong and potentially dangerous but without making them. essentially, break down would have been more appropriate IMHO. Especially at primary school age.
Just my 2p and not a criticism. Offered simply in a broad-sample-of-replies basis.
ETA: I fit in to the "old school discipline" age bracket by the way.
Leaving the child in no doubt that what they did was wrong and potentially dangerous but without making them. essentially, break down would have been more appropriate IMHO. Especially at primary school age.
Just my 2p and not a criticism. Offered simply in a broad-sample-of-replies basis.
ETA: I fit in to the "old school discipline" age bracket by the way.
Edited by Landlord on Monday 24th November 16:38
WestyCarl said:
Sorry, too harsh in my opinion. Maybe I'm a sotfie liberal but kids shouldn't be shouted at to be turned into snivelling wrecks. (in my opinion it teaches them how to be abbusive themselves)
+1 10yo did what stupid 10 yo's do.
A ticking off would have been sufficient but to get enraged shows that you have the behaviour issues not him. Your track record of roaring at primary school kids is not impressive.
Landlord said:
I agree with the principle of what you did (definitely with with fingers-in-the-door story) but if you'd have gone far enough to make one of my kids convulse sobbing and snotting I'd have made you do the same. Not playing the hard man at all but to reduce "my" child to that on a "it may have happened but didn't" situation (rather than the fingers one where it quite probably didn't happen because you shouted) is a step too far.
Leaving the child in no doubt that what they did was wrong and potentially dangerous but without making them. essentially, break down would have been more appropriate IMHO. Especially at primary school age.
Just my 2p and not a criticism. Offered simply in a broad-sample-of-replies basis.
Unfortunately there are too many kids around who resort to using the snivelling wreck to get out of punishment these days. Little ar5ehole deserved all he got IMHO.Leaving the child in no doubt that what they did was wrong and potentially dangerous but without making them. essentially, break down would have been more appropriate IMHO. Especially at primary school age.
Just my 2p and not a criticism. Offered simply in a broad-sample-of-replies basis.
WestyCarl said:
Sorry, too harsh in my opinion. Maybe I'm a sotfie liberal but kids shouldn't be shouted at to be turned into snivelling wrecks. (in my opinion it teaches them how to be abbusive themselves)
disagree, they are seeing the emotion of the situation. No one hit them, how do you think dogs deal with naughty young ones, snarl but no attackLandlord said:
I agree with the principle of what you did (definitely with with fingers-in-the-door story) but if you'd have gone far enough to make one of my kids convulse sobbing and snotting I'd have made you do the same. Not playing the hard man at all but to reduce "my" child to that on a "it may have happened but didn't" situation (rather than the fingers one where it quite probably didn't happen because you shouted) is a step too far.
Leaving the child in no doubt that what they did was wrong and potentially dangerous but without making them. essentially, break down would have been more appropriate IMHO. Especially at primary school age.
Just my 2p and not a criticism. Offered simply in a broad-sample-of-replies basis.
To be fare I didn't shout or swear. It was a quiet but malevolent in tone. Think of a hiss as I told him he was nasssssty and thoughtlessssss. The kind of talking to you wouldn't notice till you're left wondering "bloody hell, what did he say there?".Leaving the child in no doubt that what they did was wrong and potentially dangerous but without making them. essentially, break down would have been more appropriate IMHO. Especially at primary school age.
Just my 2p and not a criticism. Offered simply in a broad-sample-of-replies basis.
Tannedbaldhead said:
To be fare I didn't shout or swear. It was a quiet but malevolent in tone. Think of a hiss as I told him he was nasssssty and thoughtlessssss. The kind of talking to you wouldn't notice till you're left wondering "bloody hell, what did he say there?".
Fair enough - I was imagining the tone as per your "child about to run out in the road" analogy. My tone/volume in that kind of situation would wake the dead.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff